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  1. #1
    ***** queen fabulouslyghetto's Avatar
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    I have made preparations for this bitch Florence

    My city could be without power for a few days. /pause for tears/ Yes girls, you might be without my wit and candor but only for a little while. Oh stop sobbing, pull yourself together I didn't raise you little bitches to be a bunch of.... little bitches.

    In case of my absence, I have decided to crown an interim queen to rule JUB.

    I choose Mikey.

    Stunning choice, I know, we don't have the best history, but my reign over JUB is one of terror and oppression, I need to appoint someone I can easily overthrow upon my return and, let's be honest, we all know Mikey can't handle this nubian princess hashtagWakandaforever



    he's scared of me and part of that fear is an attraction, wondering what it would be like to get lost in the taboo of the chocolate and vanilla swirl. I don't care what his font says, Mikey knows he is down with the brown.



    Don't worry about Fabby girls, I'll be in my living room eating weed brownies and writing in my notebook [yeah, that's still a thing] and probably lots and lots of masturbating. I've had a few particular fantasies about BCH that need some exercising.

    Antyways, in my absence be sure to do whatever Mikey says, no matter how nonsensical. And as you cry in the fetal position praying to whoever you believe in for my swift return, rest assured that I am, in fact, a bad bitch and no hurricane can do me in.

    And I do not want to hear ANY lip about my appointee, the queen has spoken. You may now praise me.


  2. #2
    Sex God willhunt's Avatar
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    Re: I have made preparations for this bitch Florence

    Do tread water and be safe. At the very least negotiate yourself into the backwash and I'll rescue you. Straight as I may be, I do know CPR and am unopposed to mouth to mouth. This is not just because I love you, it is also because your choice of proxy is perfect.
    Basic math: There are so many apples in the bushel... Reality: Some of us are picking apples we cannot afford. - ballcaphair

  3. #3
    ***** queen fabulouslyghetto's Avatar
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    Re: I have made preparations for this bitch Florence

    Quote Originally Posted by willhunt View Post
    Do tread water and be safe. At the very least negotiate yourself into the backwash and I'll rescue you. Straight as I may be, I do know CPR and am unopposed to mouth to mouth. This is not just because I love you, it is also because your choice of proxy is perfect.
    There's something you should know about people of color, our lungs are super big so we require extra mouth to mouth. Maybe even a little tongue to help the flow of oxygen.

    And you, my good sir, have the most important job of all. Guardian of my castle. Make sure them broke bitches Raregirl and Lilbitch don't go poking around my jewelry safe. Can't trust broke hoes.

  4. #4
    Redneck Romeo Alistair's Avatar
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    Re: I have made preparations for this bitch Florence

    A couple hurricane tips:

    Fill your bathtub with water so you can flush.

    Seal your extensions in spacesaver vacuum bags to keep them nice and dry

  5. #5
    coleos patentes rareboy's Avatar
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    Re: I have made preparations for this bitch Florence

    Stay safe.

  6. #6
    Salt In The Wounds. Cormac135's Avatar
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    Re: I have made preparations for this bitch Florence

    Don't die.

  7. #7
    Get it on! peeonme's Avatar
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    Re: I have made preparations for this bitch Florence

    Wear protection!

  8. #8
    ***** queen fabulouslyghetto's Avatar
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    Re: I have made preparations for this bitch Florence

    Quote Originally Posted by Alistair View Post
    Seal your extensions in spacesaver vacuum bags to keep them nice and dry
    You know my lacefronts and wigs were the first thing I took care of. I read that the dishwasher is a safe space for your most prized possessions, so that's where all my hair is. At the moment I'm rocking a quick weave, no fuss no muss in case I gotta flee in terror I can just tho' it up in a bun.

  9. #9
    ***** queen fabulouslyghetto's Avatar
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    Re: I have made preparations for this bitch Florence

    Quote Originally Posted by rareboy View Post
    Stay safe.
    Tell that to the good sis Lilbitch, she's still out there on the corner in her nurse uniform even though *winds have begun to pick up.

    *they haven't, that was for haha's

  10. #10
    ***** queen fabulouslyghetto's Avatar
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    Re: I have made preparations for this bitch Florence

    Quote Originally Posted by peeonme View Post
    Wear protection!
    Fuck you I'm tryna get pregnant, what a helluva conception story that would be.

    "That night therewas a hurricane..... in my pants!"

  11. #11
    ***** queen fabulouslyghetto's Avatar
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    Re: I have made preparations for this bitch Florence

    Quote Originally Posted by Cormac135 View Post
    Don't die.
    I don't even know what that is. hashtagdemiGod

  12. #12
    JUB Addict
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    Re: I have made preparations for this bitch Florence

    are your wigs secure ?---don't want them blown into another county!

  13. #13
    ***** queen fabulouslyghetto's Avatar
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    Re: I have made preparations for this bitch Florence

    Quote Originally Posted by nycguydowntown View Post
    are your wigs secure ?---don't want them blown into another county!
    DUH! I paid thousands of dollars for my Bangladesh blend, Scandanavian blonde and Malaysian remy. They're an investment.


  14. #14
    ***** queen fabulouslyghetto's Avatar
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    Re: I have made preparations for this bitch Florence

    Not sure what's going through his head but a friend posted this on FB and said he's gonna ride the storm out, whatever that means.


  15. #15
    JUB Addict mikey3000's Avatar
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    Re: I have made preparations for this bitch Florence

    Wow. Me? Are you sure? Man, I have so many people to thank, but first I wanna thank....

    Seriously, I might be headed down to Myrtle Beach, Charleston and Savannah in three weeks, so if we don't hear from you, I'll come get all your stuff, just to be all official. For real!

    Stay safe.
    "Love me or hate me, both are in my favour."

  16. #16
    ***** queen fabulouslyghetto's Avatar
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    Re: I have made preparations for this bitch Florence

    Quote Originally Posted by mikey3000 View Post
    Wow. Me? Are you sure? Man, I have so many people to thank, but first I wanna thank....

    Seriously, I might be headed down to Myrtle Beach, Charleston and Savannah in three weeks, so if we don't hear from you, I'll come get all your stuff, just to be all official. For real!

    Stay safe.
    A friend is in Myrtle Beach right now. Says he's gonna "ride it out."

    A few rules:

    uno DO NOT touch my wig collection

    dos DO NOT touch my wig collection

    tres Make sure everyone pays their bi-weekly tithes to the throne. 67% of their net income and not a penny less.

    cuatro DO NOT touch my wig collection

  17. #17
    JUB Addict mikey3000's Avatar
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    Re: I have made preparations for this bitch Florence

    Ok ok ok . I hear you have a man. Can I try him on?
    "Love me or hate me, both are in my favour."

  18. #18
    ***** queen fabulouslyghetto's Avatar
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    Re: I have made preparations for this bitch Florence

    Quote Originally Posted by mikey3000 View Post
    Ok ok ok . I hear you have a man. Can I try him on?
    Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaack no that 6'4 caramel-skinned adonis is mine all mine, you can have Telly, it is so ordered. *pounds gavel*

  19. #19
    Uncharted Thad1527's Avatar
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    Re: I have made preparations for this bitch Florence

    I wore my Carolina Hurricanes cap today. Only one person caught the irony. (If you're not catching it either...they were Stanley Cup champions 2006.)

    And the wigs are safe with me. I always thought extensions were what you got out at Christmas when the tree was too far from the electric socket.

  20. #20
    ***** queen fabulouslyghetto's Avatar
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    Re: I have made preparations for this bitch Florence

    Quote Originally Posted by Thad1527 View Post
    And the wigs are safe with me. I always thought extensions were what you got out at Christmas when the tree was too far from the electric socket.


    Please take care of my wigs, weaves and extensions while I'm gone. Brush them twice a day, and read to them. They like Dickens, [James] Baldwin or Poe.

  21. #21
    JUB Addict
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    Re: I have made preparations for this bitch Florence

    Keep safe. We were going to go on vacation to Charleston, SC next week, but that plan is cancelled.

  22. #22
    Old Man Jay Is UnLoveable 72-Jay's Avatar
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    Re: I have made preparations for this bitch Florence

    Make sure to keep your video camera in hand (and spare batteries nearby)
    Time to get some storm vid's !! an opportunity like that shouldn't be passed on !

    (oh, and stay safe too)

  23. #23
    Sex God willhunt's Avatar
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    Re: I have made preparations for this bitch Florence

    Dive in with a blond wig, not a good one. Just get to get the attention of the first responders. Make them blow until your O2Sat is 100%
    Basic math: There are so many apples in the bushel... Reality: Some of us are picking apples we cannot afford. - ballcaphair

  24. #24
    ***** queen fabulouslyghetto's Avatar
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    Re: I have made preparations for this bitch Florence

    Quote Originally Posted by willhunt View Post
    Dive in with a blond wig, not a good one. Just get to get the attention of the first responders. Make them blow until your O2Sat is 100%
    You're a fucking genius, I could kiss you right now.

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