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  1. #1
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    Feeling lonely & sorry for myself

    Today I'm sad. I'm feeling extra lonely.

    I live in a city I don't belong to. At work, everyone likes me except my boss. About 3 months ago, I met a guy I fell for. He seemed to be on the same page then things went awry. He's left town for 2 months now, but I keep thinking about him.

    I don't like my body. I work hard at the gym, I eat healthy and a lot. None of it seems to help.

    I don't feel motivated, I wish I could spend my whole day in bed. I never had a stable relationship - I think I would have turned that into a nightmare as well. I have never experienced unprotected sex and I'm afraid I never will. To be fair I haven't had proper sex in 3 years. Nobody seems turned on by me. Apps don't work-- they make me feel less than + I'm never hot enough for the guys.

    I always thought I was not going to get a partner because of my self-hatred. But when I see people around me, they're consumed with hatred towards everyone else. On the contrary, I'm always giving people a chance. I never hate on people just for the sake of it. I don't understand.

    In a week I'm on holiday and I haven't booked anything. I have no desire to travel. I feel too tired. I'm yet another stereotype gay man in his 30s dealing with some form of depression.

    My friends are sweet people but none of them has time to listen to my ramblings again. None of them would know how to help anyway. I'm doing therapy but no shrink has a magic wand.

    It seems to me 99% of communication these days comes from Instagram stories. And God only knows I'm not playing the Instagram game.

    Just needed to vent.

  2. #2
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    Re: Feeling lonely & sorry for myself

    'You live in a city you don't belong to'?

    It's intriguing to me that it's the first thing you said. I've seen people feel detached from opportunities at love because they don't live in the city; so that's an interesting detail to put out there.
    ⣀⣤⣶⣿⣯⣅⣀⣤⣶⣿⣯⣅⣀⣤⣶⣿⣯⣅⣀⣤⣶⣿⣯⣅⣀⣤⣶⣿⣯⣅

  3. #3
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    Re: Feeling lonely & sorry for myself

    You need a therapist who can effectively treat your depression.

  4. #4
    e acqua tarallucci's Avatar
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    Re: Feeling lonely & sorry for myself

    Hey crubbed... you did well letting this out and talking to us. I am always sensitive in these cases as I know what it's like and I like to be supportive. ‎

    It's hard to find the right way, especially for "us", and in this modern society dynamics...‎

    Bosses can be the biggest idiots so screw them, you can just avoid him and be professional enjoying the company of your work mates.

    Love disappointment is heavy on the heart, I don't really have an answer for it, but what's for sure is that it mustn't be a reason to waste all the other opportunities to be happy!

    Keep working out and eating healthy but don't be obsessed with it. You can't go wrong and will get your results sooner than later. Same goes for seeking a partner, apps are just a weirdos and maniacs den anyway.‎

    It's a nice thing you always give people a chance and it shows your are a caring person. Many won't deserve it but it's still something for yourself. ‎

    There's not much you can do when you feel down and tired, what has been helpful for me though is to just stop looking behind things and have expectations. Might sound paradoxical but when focusing on the things I am passionate about I find myself again.

    I send you a hug for now and if you want to tell more I look forward to your posts

  5. #5
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    Re: Feeling lonely & sorry for myself

    Quote Originally Posted by crubbed View Post
    Today I'm sad. I'm feeling extra lonely.

    I live in a city I don't belong to. At work, everyone likes me except my boss. About 3 months ago, I met a guy I fell for. He seemed to be on the same page then things went awry. He's left town for 2 months now, but I keep thinking about him.

    I don't like my body. I work hard at the gym, I eat healthy and a lot. None of it seems to help.

    I don't feel motivated, I wish I could spend my whole day in bed. I never had a stable relationship - I think I would have turned that into a nightmare as well. I have never experienced unprotected sex and I'm afraid I never will. To be fair I haven't had proper sex in 3 years. Nobody seems turned on by me. Apps don't work-- they make me feel less than + I'm never hot enough for the guys.

    I always thought I was not going to get a partner because of my self-hatred. But when I see people around me, they're consumed with hatred towards everyone else. On the contrary, I'm always giving people a chance. I never hate on people just for the sake of it. I don't understand.

    In a week I'm on holiday and I haven't booked anything. I have no desire to travel. I feel too tired. I'm yet another stereotype gay man in his 30s dealing with some form of depression.

    My friends are sweet people but none of them has time to listen to my ramblings again. None of them would know how to help anyway. I'm doing therapy but no shrink has a magic wand.

    It seems to me 99% of communication these days comes from Instagram stories. And God only knows I'm not playing the Instagram game.

    Just needed to vent.
    Hey there!

    First of all, I want to send you some healing hugs and tell you that you're not alone - I'm not sure if I can be actually there for you in person or not, but I'm more than glad to be your friend who's willing to listen to any "ranting".

    It's good that you've gone to see a shrink, but as you said they can't just magically make it all disappear.

    I have gone through a similar phase in my life, where I self-loathed myself to the extent that I didn't even try to download any dating apps or connect with anyone as I just "assumed" that no one is interested and that I will have to live with that.

    Although I'm only 24 I felt like this is the end, and I succumbed to some kind of depression, but believe me life has more to it than just searching for a boyfriend or partner. What's worse in my case is that I had a boyfriend and he cheated on me, so this made me feel even the more worse about myself and I had a very poor image of my self-worth, but guess what? I managed to get over that. It took me a very long time to do that, but I wanna tell you that no matter what you're going through there's always a solution to it.

    If you don't feel comfortable writing here in the thread, then feel free to send me a private message.

    I'll be waiting! Hugs

    - - - Updated - - -

    Hey there!

    First of all, I want to send you some healing hugs and tell you that you're not alone - I'm not sure if I can be actually there for you in person or not, but I'm more than glad to be your friend who's willing to listen to any "ranting".

    It's good that you've gone to see a shrink, but as you said they can't just magically make it all disappear.

    I have gone through a similar phase in my life, where I self-loathed myself to the extent that I didn't even try to download any dating apps or connect with anyone as I just "assumed" that no one is interested and that I will have to live with that.

    Although I'm only 24 I felt like this is the end, and I succumbed to some kind of depression, but believe me life has more to it than just searching for a boyfriend or partner. What's worse in my case is that I had a boyfriend and he cheated on me, so this made me feel even the more worse about myself and I had a very poor image of my self-worth, but guess what? I managed to get over that. It took me a very long time to do that, but I wanna tell you that no matter what you're going through there's always a solution to it.

    If you don't feel comfortable writing here in the thread, then feel free to send me a private message.

    I'll be waiting! Hugs

    - - - Updated - - -

    Hey there!

    First of all, I want to send you some healing hugs and tell you that you're not alone - I'm not sure if I can be actually there for you in person or not, but I'm more than glad to be your friend who's willing to listen to any "ranting".

    It's good that you've gone to see a shrink, but as you said they can't just magically make it all disappear.

    I have gone through a similar phase in my life, where I self-loathed myself to the extent that I didn't even try to download any dating apps or connect with anyone as I just "assumed" that no one is interested and that I will have to live with that.

    Although I'm only 24 I felt like this is the end, and I succumbed to some kind of depression, but believe me life has more to it than just searching for a boyfriend or partner. What's worse in my case is that I had a boyfriend and he cheated on me, so this made me feel even the more worse about myself and I had a very poor image of my self-worth, but guess what? I managed to get over that. It took me a very long time to do that, but I wanna tell you that no matter what you're going through there's always a solution to it.

    If you don't feel comfortable writing here in the thread, then feel free to send me a private message.

    I'll be waiting! Hugs

  6. #6
    Sex God LatinCoffee's Avatar
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    Re: Feeling lonely & sorry for myself

    Virtual hugs your way bud. Its easy to feel down but try to get out and go shopping, watch funny movies, enjoy your own company for now. Try not to focus on the negative and focus more on the positive things in your life.

    If you need to talk...PM me. I need to vent at times, too! We all need someone to just listen. It's gonna be ok! I promise!

  7. #7
    too late... Harke the Boeotarch's Avatar
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    Re: Feeling lonely & sorry for myself

    Snap out of it, crubbed, and grow up (ahead of time).

    Feeling sorry for yourself is a luxury.

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