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  1. #1
    Newbie indyass4days's Avatar
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    Pride asking someone out a lot younger than me that I work with

    Hello all, I need some advice. I work with someone that is a lot younger than me, he is 18 and I am 38. I think he is very handsome and we get alone very well at work, we banter back and forth and I think we border on flirting a little bit. I've been an introvert and afraid of people for my entire life due to abuse that I suffered growing up but, mentally I'm in a really good space right now and I feel good about myself and I'm able to communicate with people in ways that I have never been able to before. I still don't really know how to ask people out or talk to people about my needs, I just haven't done it before and I don't really know what to do. I don't really know in the work setting what the right way to go about asking him out is so, does anybody have any advice?

  2. #2
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    Re: asking someone out a lot younger than me that I work with

    Have you guys ever hung out at all outside of work yet? You may want to start there. Just grab dinner or something and see how you feel after that. I would use caution when dealing with people you work with. If things go bad it could make things very uncomfortable at the office.

  3. #3
    K9HORA JUB Admin KaraBulut's Avatar
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    Re: asking someone out a lot younger than me that I work with

    There's some social cues that you're not catching here.

    The big red flag is that this is a co-worker. Step back for a moment and think about a 38 year old man asking out a 18 year old female co-worker. That scenario should set off alarm bells for you. Your situation is no different- it's still a co-worker and the age difference creates a big out-of-balance situation that can result in you getting fired.

    It's good that you're working through some of your social anxiety and awkwardness. But the workplace isn't a good place to be looking for someone to ask out on a date.

    Out of curiosity, have you ever talked to a therapist about working on overcoming some of your shyness and struggles with communication?
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  4. #4
    Newbie indyass4days's Avatar
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    Re: asking someone out a lot younger than me that I work with

    Yes, I have been in therapy for about 9 years though this year I have taken a little bit of a break and I haven't been at all. As far as awkwardness I have been far more unable to reach out or even be able to carry a conversation in the past but, intimate things, asking people out or being able to share intimate feelings or even coming out to people are a struggle for me. I guess I'm not done with therapy. Still, he's very handsome.

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