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  1. #1
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    Sad I feel like I'm in the perfect relationship, but he's straight

    He knows I'm Bi and is my best friend in the world. He's straight, and we're both single not really looking for a relationship. But we are the perfect couple, people love us, our witty banter, our combined personalities. There are people in our lives that have literally never seen us apart. But he's straight. I know it's stupid and a waste of energy but I can't help but think how much more perfect this would be if we could take it to the next level. I want to hold his hand, suck his cock, kiss his lips and press my body against his body. But I sit there, and chill, laughing, joking and spending countless hours together, ever single day. So barely in reach of what I want I can almost feel it. He notices, sometimes makes a pointed joke or asks what I'm staring at. I then make up a straight sounding excuse "You had a piece of fuzz there, but it flew away" when it's really "I was fantasizing about how amazing it would be to lick those pecs." But he's straight. 2 Days ago it became official, with the comment from a friend "You guys are like a married couple", at least a dozen friends and family have joked or commented on how cute a couple we'd be/are. Even when we're sick of each other we hang out. I love him, and I don't look for a girlfriend because I'm so content with where I am that I don't want to introduce a third element into the equation. We're just a couple that doesn't have sex. Because he's straight. I'd give anything to be able to sleep rested with my head on those pecs. But he's straight.

  2. #2
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    Re: I feel like I'm in the perfect relationship, but he's straight

    If you are sad, how is this the "perfect" relationship?
    There's an imbalance here: you "desire" him. He does NOT desire you. You're creating a world inside your head - complete with rationalizations - that is not real. And it's making you sad.
    You know that eventually, you're going to wreck this relationship, don't you? Even HE notices the longing glances already. And one day a woman will catch his eye. Why are you doing this to yourself? You must be getting something out of it: the false fantasy of you two as a "couple"; the "people have literally never seen us apart."
    Not going to end well, unless you either 1), confess or 2), make room for non-straight guys in your life. I'm sorry, but I don't see alternatives. Do you?

  3. #3
    K9HORA JUB Admin KaraBulut's Avatar
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    Re: I feel like I'm in the perfect relationship, but he's straight

    Lovers come and go. Friends stay.

    If you're lucky, your lover is also a best friend.

    The problem here is that you're wanting to have it all and make a best friend into your lover. With that in mind, re-read that first sentence: lovers come and go; friends stay.

    That's the risk here. If you were to cross that line, the chances are good that it would ruin a really good friendship and you would never be able to go back to that friendship- especially if he's straight or confused or any of the other excuses that guys use to not deal with the situation.

    You didn't ask for advice, but if you're really lucky enough to have found those once-in-a-lifetime friendships, you need to get your head together. You need a boyfriend. He needs a girlfriend. You both need to figure out how to have romantic relationships of your own to get everything into perspective.
    JUB's full list of smilies can be found here. BBcodes are here.

  4. #4
    Sex God heir-to-the-wind's Avatar
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    Re: I feel like I'm in the perfect relationship, but he's straight

    There are no custom fits in an off-the-rack world. There will always be a ''but.''

  5. #5
    FEAR THE LIBERAL DETENTE! TX-Beau's Avatar
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    Re: I feel like I'm in the perfect relationship, but he's straight

    So many gay men have used the unattainable as justification for not dealing with themselves. This is utterly safe. You know nothing will ever happen, you don't have to take any risks or confront any uncomfortable truths. You just have to lament how perfect it would be IF ONLY......
    ATTACK OF THE LIBERAL ELITE

  6. #6
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    Re: I feel like I'm in the perfect relationship, but he's straight

    Quote Originally Posted by biguy021 View Post
    He knows I'm Bi and is my best friend in the world. He's straight, and we're both single not really looking for a relationship. But we are the perfect couple, people love us, our witty banter, our combined personalities. There are people in our lives that have literally never seen us apart. But he's straight. I know it's stupid and a waste of energy but I can't help but think how much more perfect this would be if we could take it to the next level. I want to hold his hand, suck his cock, kiss his lips and press my body against his body. But I sit there, and chill, laughing, joking and spending countless hours together, ever single day. So barely in reach of what I want I can almost feel it. He notices, sometimes makes a pointed joke or asks what I'm staring at. I then make up a straight sounding excuse "You had a piece of fuzz there, but it flew away" when it's really "I was fantasizing about how amazing it would be to lick those pecs." But he's straight. 2 Days ago it became official, with the comment from a friend "You guys are like a married couple", at least a dozen friends and family have joked or commented on how cute a couple we'd be/are. Even when we're sick of each other we hang out. I love him, and I don't look for a girlfriend because I'm so content with where I am that I don't want to introduce a third element into the equation. We're just a couple that doesn't have sex. Because he's straight. I'd give anything to be able to sleep rested with my head on those pecs. But he's straight.
    Be good friends and best buddies . If you say to him your after another to form a gay relationship he will probably take it easily and probably wish you the best . If he s a hot looking straight friend keep the friendship going no matter what . You are very fortunate to have him as a very good friend . JUST DONT GO FANTASYSING about having kissing him or having sex with him as there are others who are gay or bi and from what you are saying about yourself and your social life , you have an excellent chance of finding another to form a deep relationship.

  7. #7
    🌈❤️ June26, 2015 ❤️🌈 JUB Moderator Seasoned's Avatar
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    Re: I feel like I'm in the perfect relationship, but he's straight

    The longer you stay sad but stay this close the more difficult it will be for you to explore romance. If he should start dating you’ll be devastated. Any girlfriend of his will pick up on your attraction and that will further complicate things.
    "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."--Dr. Seuss

  8. #8
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    2cents Re: I feel like I'm in the perfect relationship, but he's straight

    Quote Originally Posted by mcbrion View Post
    If you are sad, how is this the "perfect" relationship?
    There's an imbalance here: you "desire" him. He does NOT desire you. You're creating a world inside your head - complete with rationalizations - that is not real. And it's making you sad.
    You know that eventually, you're going to wreck this relationship, don't you? Even HE notices the longing glances already. And one day a woman will catch his eye. Why are you doing this to yourself? You must be getting something out of it: the false fantasy of you two as a "couple"; the "people have literally never seen us apart.
    "
    Not going to end well, unless you either 1), confess or 2), make room for non-straight guys in your life. I'm sorry, but I don't see alternatives. Do you?
    I agree with the part I put in Bold.
    Well said!

  9. #9
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    Re: I feel like I'm in the perfect relationship, but he's straight

    All very good responses here.

    But what I don't get . . . . If you have such a strong desire for this guy, how can you identify as "bi"?

  10. #10
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    Re: I feel like I'm in the perfect relationship, but he's straight

    Quote Originally Posted by imariver View Post
    All very good responses here.

    But what I don't get . . . . If you have such a strong desire for this guy, how can you identify as "bi"?
    Because bisexuality is simply the capacity to be attracted to both sexes. It could even be the case that biguy in the vast majority of cases would be attracted to women but their best friend just happens to be someone they caught some strong feelings towards and they happen to be a guy.

    I, like you, have a stronger leaning towards men yet I identify as bisexual because I believe it more accurately describes how I experience attraction. I think I'd be justified in adopting the 'gay' label if I wanted to because I've mostly decided to take women off the table. But my goal isn't to communicate what I'm looking for in a relationship, my goal is to communicate my experience of attraction. It seems your goal is to communicate the opposite, and that's fine.
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