Hey guys,

This isn't really a thread to ask for advice or really open a discussion so much as to clarify a few things as I want to start using these forums again, and my romantic/sex life has changed SO much since I was last a regular here.

First things first, how you may or may not remember me (if you remember me at all) is as someone who loves solo play with a big thing for cum and a preference for twinks. Whilst that hasn't changed MUCH, what you probably wouldn't have have figured out back then is that when it came to my interactive sex life I was somewhat vanilla. I did XTube and loved to eat my own loads, and toward the tail end of my time here I spent a fair amount of time hooking with guys on Grindr until I moved to London in late 2014.

I fairly soon after that got into a scene where people were a LOT more colourful than me, where I indulged in the sesh, met a lot of people into fetish/kink and became a bit of a small fish in a big pond. I dated someone, but then it ended abruptly, the partying got too much and life kinda caved in on me. I slightly fooled around with one of the models from Staxus (who I'm still in touch with today), and then experienced my first orgy (through Grindr), before leaving London for a few months.

When I came back I went straight into dating someone (who interestingly used to be a HomoEmo model). This person then told me they were transgender. Somehow this has become a repeating pattern with people I've been attracted to in the past so I wasn't completely fine with it. Over 3 years later she is my fiancée and we've been living together for a while. One of the big things for me is that we had to be monogamous so she's the only person I've been with in all that time. Well, sort of - I'll come back to that in a second.

Safe to say in these few years I've been very exposed to the fetish scene in London as so many of my friends are a part of it. I started going to fetish clubs after a LOT of anxiety over the idea and have found my place now. As she is very submissive I've had to learn a dominant role (which didn't happen quickly), and I feel after the time I've had that this has really grown to suit me quite well. A lot of my friends are in open relationships, making us a bit of an anomaly. In fact, she would be fine without being open, it was my stipulation that we wouldn't be, as I get jealous far too easily. (Most likely an insecurity thing).

Recently, however, I've found myself becoming more flirtatious with other people. One guy in particular came into my life and our chemistry was so good that during a sesh, I confidently asked his permission to take ownership of him and he agreed. My fiancée found this hot. That night we both fooled around with him, the first time since we started dating that either one of us had sexual contact with anyone else.

A week later, during a different sesh, I somehow (it's hazy now) ended up fooling around with someone else who I didn't even anticipate I ever would. I had no idea he was attracted to me and I'm not sure how it got that far, but my fiancée walked in during and found it surprising but was still completely ok with it. At this point I started to feel bad that I was breaking my own rule, so we had a conversation later that we wouldn't be open, but would invite people in for threesomes occasionally.

This brings us up to a couple of weeks ago. I had both my fiancée and my new sub on leashes, with the more recent guy laying against me at the same time, who in not so many words implied that he'd be happy to go on a leash, too. I made out with all of them, a lot, over that weekend. I'd be lying if I said that the whole thing wasnt somewhat confusing and even slightly daunting, but the excitement of being in a situation like this, after most of my adolescence and early adulthood being MUCH less interesting, is very alluring.

Conversations are being had, it's all healthy, but I'm definitely on a journey of discovery. Which is kind of why I've returned to JUB, so I have a place to outlet my thoughts as I go along.

Thanks for reading

Donnie x