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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2017

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    Dom guy who Feels shit and knows he shouldn't

    I feel a bit shit at the moment. I know I shouldn't but there we have it.

    I have an open relationship with my other half. Which is great. It came about because I'm into BDSM stuff and he isn't. I've met a few guys and had some good fun.

    A few days ago I met up with a guy who shares a lot of my kinks and we had some good fun. The meet was hot, could have been better but due to limitations it was as much as it could have been. I found it hot, im not sure about him but he did say that he found it hot too. Anyway the dynamic we have is Dom sub I'm the Dom, particularly around chastity. We planned to play again and I was to lock him, I provided my own padlock. We've not really spoken since then, no contact on either side. I've messaged him just now and he's read the message but not replied. It's been about 40 minutes. If he was up for it wouldn't be have replied?

    (Goodness I've just read that back over and I feel ridiculous for even writing it).

    So that's why I'm feeling shit. I know I shouldn't, and I know that in a Dom sub relationship I really shouldn't feel this way. Perhaps it's not the Dom way to feel! We owe each other nothing after all and he is free to go his own way and I mine.

    But for some reason I'm internalising this as a rejection and questioning I Dom enough (this post probably says no!) Did he like my body/cock whatever. Shouldn't I just about to move past this. Perhaps get pissed off even but that's not how I'm feeling.

    This is all very confusing.

    Not entirely sure why I'm writing this. Perhaps if there are any other guys on the Dom end it would be helpful to know how you deal with this kind of thing..and if you've experienced this before.

    Or perhaps it's just because it's so hard to find guys who share my kinks and want to play, and now potentially I have to start again.

    Why can't people just be honest with eachother!

  2. #2
    Sex God
    Join Date
    Aug 2011

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    Code of Conduct

    Re: Dom guy who Feels shit and knows he shouldn't

    You're "in a relationship" with one guy - but feeling rejected by other guys outside your relationship who share your particular erotic desires? Maybe they liked the sex part, but not the "person" part. There really is no way to know without asking the other guy, which, I'm guessing, would make you appear less of a Dom. You'd have to drop the mask and be vulnerable. Tricky, isn't it?

    Try reaching out to the San Francisco Citadel Club (a BDSM club) and there will be guys who are better able to talk to you about this. You can Google them for their email contact information.

    By the way, have you discussed this with your partner/husband?

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