Different Reception From Men Based On Area?

[nycguydowntown]

I think the lower the gay population in a city or a town----a six star guy can become a nine star guy easily. And if you go to a tiny village--a two star guy can become a ten--it's just that easy.

[-Kane-]

It's called "fresh meat".

It would happen to you in any city basically. It's the nature of men. The only thing better than Dicks and Ass is NEW Dicks and Ass.
Have fun with it..

[journo25]

I think it also depends very much on your look.

Salt and pepper hair, glasses and an intellectual look will do very well for you on the East Coast, in Chicago and San Francisco. Try that in Southern California and if you're lucky, a well-meaning friend will take you aside and advise you to "lose the gray, dude!" I speak from experience... which is why I no longer live there. And have a partner!

Enjoy the attention, OP!

[eastofeden]

I never really thought about it too much when I was a young slut...I had an OK time everywhere I think..especially in Hawaii...

...but I fit in well in the San Francisco Bay Area and I like the men alot...definitely where I belong.

[maxpowr9]

I get scolded for being "too masculine" in my area. It's bizarre if you tell me. Sorry I am not a twink.

[Gentleheart]

Seems like any "regular" guy would have a tough time in New York (just kidding)!

The only thing better than Dicks and Ass is NEW Dicks and Ass.

OK!? this.

I had an OK time everywhere I think..especially in Hawaii...

well...aren't we boastful.

[MMMonsterBoy]

In bigger cities there are more options, while small town people can only dip in only so big a pool!

When I was in my college area, I used to crave to go home because I had more options and they were all closer. Only when I was home I wasn't exactly noticed..at least not by the people I wanted. When I was in my college area, a smaller town, the scenario was the opposite. And I wasn't necessarily intimidated by the guys in my college area either.


I also think standards are a lot higher in major cities. The guys in my small town college area vs the guys in my city are two different extremes!

[Ninjato]

I travel for work and I usually go on Jack'd to see what kind of guys are in the area. I went to St. Louis a couple months ago and I was surprised that 28 guys messaged me in two days on Jack'd. Some cities I barely get any. I think it depends on the population and the types of guys in the city.

[darden]

NYC guys are the literal worst.

it's a double edged sword, though... having a huge gay population is obviously beneficial, but it's so large (and there's such high turnover between people constantly moving into the area) that everyone likewise has extremely high standards and will glance at nothing other than the white, blonde, 19 year-old twink of their dreams.

[zombiekiller]

Wait, wasn't Philly destroyed by zombies? I saw the whole event in WWZ.

[LuckysRevenge]

So as it turns out, I may have been completely mistaken. I came back to New York and got some creazy reception. Not as forthcoming with the compliments, but much more attention than usual. I'm blaming it on the Holiday break.

And Darden, agreed. I'm not exactly looking for dates anyway, but i decided long ago that I'd seriously second-guess dating a guy who lived in Manhattan for that reason. Anyone who is heavily invested in the gayborhoods has strikes against them. These guys come here for an empty "young and single" social experience with no actual plans of sticking around long term, and spends loads of time in the circles that I've long outgrown. It's a waste of time for me to involve myself with them.

Hmm interesting take. I've found people who move into the outer boroughs rarely stick around whereas friends who have moved into manhattan plan on staying for good.

Anyways I think you underestimate yourself glad you got a good reception in both places.

[erobert]

It's interesting to analyze who lives where and why and comparing the different types of guys in different cities (which I do with the "locals" feature on OKcupid when traveling) In general though, smaller cities and areas have a smaller out gay population and scene; attractive people are likely to get attention no matter where they go.

And true, I'm short-changing Manhattan there. I just find that 90% of the time, the guys that chase after Manhattan tend to prioritize the things that I care nothing about. (subject for a new thread, though)

I can write a sociological book on the gay dating scene in NYC and it's interesting seeing the differences of guys even between downtown and uptown and west side vs east side. Then there's the Chelsea/ Hell's Kitchen boys... Though, I met my BF (who lived in Manhattan at the time) and we were happily together for a year and a half in a monogamous relationship. We met through friends so it's not always the borough that determines your chances for finding someone since Queens and Brooklyn now have all kinds of gay guys from all over including former Manhattanites since the rent is so insanely high now in Manhattan.

It's also important to remember; even in NYC and also for the gay meccas, guys are not always chasing after twinks or A&F models despite what porn sites will have you believe. There are sooo many "hot" guys like that in Manhattan for modeling, acting, etc... that they all start to look the same and become "a dime a dozen"... at least in big cities. There are so many scenes and non scenes in the city and ways to meet guys it can actually be overwhelming.

Focus on smaller social groups to meet someone, gay bars are a good way to get a general feel for what kind of guys are out there can sometimes be too many people during peak hours which equals too much competition and a frustrating distraction if you're more relationship minded. I've found you really need to hone your search on finding a friend of a friend (which is how many people get good jobs and good potential mates; both aren't easy to find on your own these days) or make friends by drilling down to find a small local club or organization to find "him".

That was a long post but this topic really interests me.