what do you do to feel better about yourself?

[menRsexii]

i just took a very unpredicted spiral downwards and thats often due to my appearance and obsessing over it. i know that sounds shallow but i just cant help it...

sometimes i really just feel ugly to the core. sometimes i hate who i am. different things cross my mind when im in the darkest places like just not eating or self harm. i realize this is obviously drastic but when i really feel like shit, it sounds right, no questions.

i like maintaing control in my life and one thing ive found i dont really have much control over is my appearance and that will at times, drive me MAD! some days i just dont want to get out of bed because i feel i look so deformed and ugly. for the longest time, ive felt i was different from everyone else, almost as if i was an alien. i even felt this way when i didnt obsess over my appearance. but now, its even worse and right now i just want to hide away from everyone.

anyways, basically sorry for pouring out my sob story here, i just have to tell someone else how i feel and that theres just so much wrong with me. comparison is a bitch.

do with that what you will. in the mean time, ill just be hiding over here in the corner lol.

end rant (about my horrid self).

[refujiunderground]

sir, do ONE favor. stop bashing your appearance. you are NOT ugly. you are NOT beautiful. you are what you make yourself. do not get caught up in illusions where you see so and so being told that they're attractive, has six people following after them going like that it's all factual. it's nothing but tastes and opinions outthere. it's all about how that person feels about themselves at the end of the day because none of those people can make them feel any better or worse about who they are other than themselves. same thing with you. do not let such petty things such as appearances and people's opinions even your own opinion run your life. you may call yourself ugly which is your opinion but i'm sure there's people that feel differently about you. why do you think you're ugly? do you think that if you looked like the person that you see some guys and gals drool over that you will feel any differently about yourself? you have to love who yourself first. just say to yourself that you're a good person and you're special. believe in yourself, bro.

i feel the same way about myself like how you do but at the end of the day, what the hell can i do about it? sure, i'll get sad, depressed, go like "damn, i'm ugly" and etc but then i realize that i can only give a fuck about so much, you know. you can't dwell on it. you are who you are and remember things could be much worse than how they are even if things seem to be horrible or you feel terrible. you can be blind, deaf, and have a million and one issues like many people out here have. there's plenty of people that are handicapped, mute, deaf, blind, crippled and the whole nine and they're not letting that shit stop them.

smh @ me out of all people giving you advice that i should give myself.

[maxpowr9]

I typically watch videos that make me laugh.

[G-Lexington]

Hang out with my friends who like me for me. Then eat some dessert, take a long hot bath while listening to soft music, and go to bed early.

Lex

[kevbo]

I reflect on times when I've had it worse than I do now.

[kevbo]

I reflect on times when I've had it worse than I do now.

And also reflecting on how plenty of other people have had it waaay worse than I ever had.

[glasvegas]

I talk to my best friends and have a laugh

[LatimerRd]

I work out. A good workout always makes me feel better. A decade ago my best straight friend was going though a difficult period in his marriage and was really depressed. I suggested we work out together four to five days a week. It helped get him through it all.

[justanothershyguy]

Whenever I'm down and with friends, I tend to shy away and not wanna talk about whatever it is. When I'm alone, though (and it's not a bad time), I love to blast music and just belt my lungs out. Even though I don't sing the best, it never fails to make me smile!

[csb999]

well practically consider how much worse it could be for so many and is . So much worse . Years ago I did volunteer work at an old folks home . There was a woman there who I got to be sort of friendly with . Her voice was a croak , rather difficult to understand , and her body was very malformed . I thought of her as a girl , that is how she seemed to me , found out later she was 68 , born with rather severe cerebral palsy , she spent her entire life in a wheechair . Field trip somewhere , watching some kids play catch , she said " never did that " . I didn't catch that the first time and had to ask her to repeat it .

[menRsexii]

thanks guys for the numerous replies. i was actually thinking about doing some of the things you guys mentioned -- like working out. but then i got lazy to go downstairs and see what time the gym closed. thats my bad.

anyways, i think this kinda was influenced by an earlier experience. ive been like meeting people via online dating and this one guy and i decided to exchange numbers. as always, i usually send some pics for contact use and ask for some in return. but he saw my pics and then basically said "you look different than your okcupid profile pics" ... i started obsessing about it and havent really been thinking of anything else since. its really a horrible thing to tell someone with bdd that they look "different" in various pictures. IM TRYING TO figure out what i look like already and now this just makes it more confusing and worse

[justsimon]

I work out, start a project, or hang out with friends.

[Kiwils]

As I was typing it, I realized it was more like things that make me feel better than things that make me feel better about myself. :/

Oh, I guess I do have one. I second volunteering.

[dereperez]

Working out is what I usually do when I feel down. Something about the chemicals in your body that usually tends to do the trick. Do you have any go-to buddies that you can share close things with?

[MMMonsterBoy]

I think we all get there at some point. What I like to do is tell myself what I like about me. Sounds conceited, but it is better than focusing on the negative!

Working out is a nice outlet and it keeps you busy.

Dress up kind of nice and go out with friends. Laughter is also healthy.

[Adrock-JD]

Come to JUB and give hugs and waves

[Scealle]

Listen to music, a trip to the rink, watch Tv or comedy and had a good laugh

[Scealle]

And play some flash games
I tend to get to obsessed with console games ( I always had the habit to achieve the best in games so....I try to avoid that these days given my schedule)

[sixthson]

There is lots of good advice here, but I think one thing that might help you feel better about yourself is to stop thinking about yourself. Invest your time and energy in others. It's hard to be self-focused when you are others-focused. It's not about finding someone who is fatter than you to feel better about your weight or someone you feel is less handsome than you to feel better about your looks. It's about genuine care and concern for someone other than yourself. Good luck.

[rareboy]

You are not ugly; you are self-conscious.

I haven't seen your haircut or your clothes though. Or your posture. Or your teeth.

They may be what is making you look 'different.' And to be blunt....they might be ugly. I know that I've had some fugly haircuts, glasses and duds through the years...particularly when I was pre-occupied with school.

But you can do something about each of these things. You just need help from someone you trust to make sure that you are making the most of your best features.

As for the other stuff. Trust me.

Any guy who smiles is beautiful.

[looseliam]

look at my cock
look in the mirror
look at my car
look at my bank account

fuck

[borg69unimatrix]

I can relate to this too... however - one thing that helps me is to try and NOT be so hard on myself. Expand your bubble, and look around... there are a LOT of people out there FAR FAR worse off then you are, and somehow THEY (appear) to be VERY happy.

Granted, I'm not the modelesque porn star I wished I was... but compared to most of the general populous, I'm not doing SO bad.

You've had a few threads you made recently where you were dating and in relationships, so it sounds like you're not doing as badly as you think you are either!

[BrimstoneAndTreacle]

There is lots of good advice here, but I think one thing that might help you feel better about yourself is to stop thinking about yourself. Invest your time and energy in others. It's hard to be self-focused when you are others-focused. It's not about finding someone who is fatter than you to feel better about your weight or someone you feel is less handsome than you to feel better about your looks. It's about genuine care and concern for someone other than yourself. Good luck.

^ I support this message. Do something that reorients you to life outside of physical appearance. It can be hard to remember sometimes in our advertising-permeated culture, but there's a lot more to life than what you look like.

[crimsonpaine]

Put on my headphones and listen to music. Just get lost and keep doing it until I feel better.

[birddog7]

I wish I knew what to do to feel better about myself. Guess I'm not much help...

[PreTTy PeTe]

I was feeling down last week and believe it or not I just did a Six Feet Under marathon. That show always gives me hope especially the last episode.

Just me and Spot.

[menRsexii]

^ but they dont have that on netflix, do they?

- - - Updated - - -

btw, i always thought the main character in that show was a hottie :P

[HunterM]

Volunteer your time at your local non-profit organization. By helping others who are less fortunate, you will get a better perspective on what life is all about. You may even make new friends.

[Sparky-Sparky-Boom-Boom]

Go for a run and work out or watch a movie or tv series that i really enjoy.

[EuroSoccer]

I do sport, i like to keep myself fit

[JohnJay201212]

i eat alot of cookies

[eastofeden]

My sincere answer would be my spiritual beliefs....they pretty much sustain me when the bad stuff comes along. For me it is usually that simple...but just in case you don't have spiritual beliefs.....

Exercise...fresh air...dancing...all good mood elevators and a great way to release endorphins which will help alot.

...an even better thing to do is to get outside of yourself and maybe extend yourself to someone else who needs help. There are so many things you can do as a volunteer that would greatly help other people. Sometimes having compassion and empathy for other people is the nicest thing you can do for yourself because you have the power to make a difference.

[freefall]

I burn down successful people's houses.

Kidding; I just think that many people have way worse conditions than I do and I'm better in some states.
Plus repressions and lies and delusions.

[alphacock]

i agree with bustinjeiber!

[HunterM]

Want to feel better about yourself? Take a stroll around a poor neighborhood. You'll see some people that make you thank god for the way you look. Honestly though, if you think you are ugly, guess how many people are uglier.

I also agree with BustinJeiber! To feel better, I stroll around a poor neighborhood to pick up a trick or two for the night.

[Quacktastic]

I try not to think about myself.

[cgymike]

I stick a frankfurter up my ass. Works every time...hold the mustard though.....

[sexylatinboy]

I exercise but what has worked for me is getting naked in front of the mirror and telling myself how good I look. Talking to yourself saying positive things really does work.

[cgymike]

Ok seriously folks this is a good thread.....for me I volunteer with the local recycling project or go into a busy coffee shop and people watch...I find that just "being with as many people as possible" can work even if you don't know them. I don't have a ton of close friends and getting together with them on the spur of the moment if I'm feeling down can be hit and miss.

If all else fails I'll go out to a movie (comedy or anything that is not depressing or violent) and consume large quantities of top quality chocolate I bring myself not the crap the concession sells....

Stand up comedy open mikes are good too.

If it's not too chilly a walk in a nature park is good!

A gay bar the very last resort as that can be depressing!

Let's keep this thread going!

[crimsonpaine]

When music doesn't do it, I watch videos on youtube, usually ones that will make me laugh, and late at night so people know I'm laughing.