The Official Unofficial Provisional Impromptu 2013 Confessions thread

[G-Lexington]

this new fuji just wants to sniff guy's necks, smile all day long, put dicks in his mouth and have jizz overflowing him his asshole and mouth. at this moment of this, i wouldn't mind having a bloody rectum from hard sex with a hard cock.

I may have created a monster.

...that's OK. I think monsters are hot.

Lex

[xbuzzerx]

I enjoy using random SAT words at times like tatterdemalion or ephemeral.

You will rue the day you exhibited such hubris.

[palbert]

And I can confess that Pat Grimshaw occasionally demonstrates a refined vocabulary. You don't very often hear 'pugnacious.'

That was part of the learning on the convict ships. "Watch out for pugnacious natives!"

[G-Lexington]

You will rue the day you exhibited such hubris.

I'd except as much from jackeens such as yourselves.

Lex

[maxpowr9]

You will rue the day you exhibited such hubris.

I'll alight your phallus and pizzle whip you.

[pat grimshaw]

Some 50,000 British convicts were sent to colonial America over 100 years.

[borg69unimatrix]

Convicts are still crossing the boarder every day.

[G-Lexington]

I confess I'm really thinking about buying this..


1840 Rupee, British East India Company $67.00

$67 doesn't sound too painful. Unless there are a bunch of other numismatical items you could snap up for the same price.

Lex

[xbuzzerx]

Some 50,000 British convicts were sent to colonial America over 100 years.

I confess most of them went to Georgia.

[Sparky-Sparky-Boom-Boom]

Well Australia is made up of convicts

[G-Lexington]

I don't miss Lana Del Rey.



Lex

[xbuzzerx]

Lana Banana.

[G-Lexington]

But she doesn't have flaws tho.

She's at least astute enough to stand behind me.

Lex

[Stoowii]

I don't miss Lana Del Rey.



Lex

Photobomb by the midlife crisis guy.

[xbuzzerx]

What I most like is the guy with the earphones on giving G-Lex a very no-nonsense look.

[G-Lexington]

Photobomb by the midlife crisis guy.

I don't know if you mean me or Mr Headphones. He does look awfully peeved, though.

Lex

[Stoowii]

I don't know if you mean me or Mr Headphones. He does look awfully peeved, though.

Lex

Haha, yeah, that's who I meant. That other guy is sexy.

[G-Lexington]

Haha, yeah, that's who I meant. That other guy is sexy.

Apparently, I scored 82 out of 100. I guess that's in the sexy range.

Lex

[xbuzzerx]

I confess that I hate hair or dress or similar criticisms of non-entertainment industry events... like inaugurations.

Except for the time Hillary wore a horrible bright orange dress and was scary.

[G-Lexington]

One of my many non-sexual fantasies (yes, I have time for both sexual and non-sexual fantasies) years ago was going to the Oscars and not wearing a tuxedo. Wearing something dashing and daring. Like Captain Harlock's all-black and black-and-red cape ensemble (without the guns). I liked the idea of a man playing dress-up at an event like that. I'm surprised no one has.

Lex

[borg69unimatrix]

Nah. From what I understand, people line up to kiss HIS ass.

It's True! Line starts behind me... no cuts!!!

[G-Lexington]

I'd be willing to give it a kiss. And more.

Lex

[Scealle]

I don't miss Lana Del Rey.



Lex

*gets star struck *-*

Looking good there Lex!

I confess that I haven't being doing my assignments for a while. Sigh*

[xbuzzerx]

I confess that there is one porn star I would pay for an "evening" with.

It's True! Line starts behind me... no cuts!!!

I'd be willing to give it a kiss. And more.

Lex

This is an acceptable line of confession.

[JayHawk]

I confess while sometimes a passing fancy I usually dont like hanging out in the powder room while the girls gets their fangs out...

[Sparky-Sparky-Boom-Boom]

^ how about their claws lol.

[rareboy]

You wouldn't recognise insight if it smacked you in the tits.

I confess that this made me laugh.

[rareboy]

I also have to confess to leaving work at 4pm every day since New Years in order to come home and have a little nap with my cats before dinner.

[JayHawk]

dem claws too, mon

RB thats awesome...

Ok I confess that I daily tell my doggy to get up on the bed and then i tackle him and give him love... it is my daily reprieve. and sometimes... just sometimes. He will get up on the bed by my feet in the morning and then low crawl up the bed and give me good morning kisses before rolling over to demand a sleepy tummy rub.

P.S. I realize what i said above can be taken out of context but I love that dog more than most human beings so if someones depraved mind reads it as such then so be it.

[Taz]

^Firstly, I miss my dogs for that

Secondly:

if someones depraved mind reads it as such then so be it.

This is Jub, half the people here are reading it that way

[JayHawk]

^Firstly, I miss my dogs for that

Secondly:


This is Jub, half the people here are reading it that way

I know many will read it like so... but I have to confess that I wanted to get the first swipe in ....


I confess i have considered 'drowning' on an Aussie beach to see if I could draw Taz for a savior....

[JayHawk]

Case in point:



He stalks the powder room.

Shhhhhhhhhh! Dont be giving away my secrets.

[G-Lexington]

There's about a 50% chance that, upon me returning home from work, my cat Schwa will run up and meet me at the door. If I reach down to pet him - and why wouldn't I? - he'll stretch up to meet me. I then pick him up, and he squirms up to lay across my left shoulder, purring loudly. I've never had a cat that would "greet" me before.

As I typed this, Schwa leapt onto my lap. He's a bit needy.

Lex

[xbuzzerx]

I confess I had no idea Jayhawk was into that.

I am SHOCKED.

[JayHawk]

I have been known to fornicate with sharks under the sea as well... better watch your ass... or clean it up nice... your choice.

My motto is "If you cant fuck it or eat it then I don't need it"

[JayHawk]

There are some real characters under all the powder. . .

Sha! But aren't we all just made up things?

[LaughOutLoud]

I confess that I only have 1 person on my friends list on JUB, and seeing how many of you treat eachother, I'm happy with that


Anyway, proper confession time. My ex ex (2 boyfriends ago) has been in touch recently. We were together for 4 years, lived together, the works. I was absolutely, unequivocally, madly in love with him and it near enough destroyed me when we broke up. It took me about 18 months to get over....I was a mess.

Anyway, turns out the sex between he and his new bf had pretty much dried up and now he wants me to come visit him for a bit of how's your father.

I feel absolutely nothing for him now, and would never help someone cheat on someone else, but still.....the thought that he still wants sex with me 3 years after we broke up, and being hot enough that he could literally get any gay guy he wanted....well, I won't lie, it feels kinda nice
The part of this confession I feel bad about is that although I said I'd never help someone cheat, there have been moments I've actually considered it :/

[DigitalFudge]

I confess I believe xbuzzerx created this thread in hopes of becoming the most legendary butt kisser on JUB.

I confess that I probably shouldn't confess.

The mods would no doubt immediately swoop in and remove this entire thread again, just because they're desperately trying to cover up a certain issue and sweep it under the carpet.

(dammit where's DigitalFudge's trademark smiley when you need it?)


*searches around*

Fixed.

I see no lies here.

The funny thing is all I said was I dislike the thread, are you not intelligent enough to read and comprehend?

What on earth did I miss?!


Someone do a recap?

I miss DigitalFudge's threads.



and I don't dislike buzzer.

Spill the tea.

[LaughOutLoud]

^
Just because I'm over him, emotionally, doesn't mean I've forgotten that the sex was amazing

[youfiad]

I have a crush on Zoey Deschannel and Emma Stone

[G-Lexington]

I have a crush on Zoey Deschannel and Emma Stone

I confess I find Zoey almost painfully resistible.

Lex

[G-Lexington]

What on earth did I miss?!

Someone do a recap?

Sound and fury, signifying nothing.

Spill the tea.

Tea was spilled. Then blotted up with a paper towel. All is fresh now.



Lex

[EuroSoccer]

I don't miss Lana Del Rey.



Lex

That dude with the headphones is .......... let me find the right word.......umhhh.........emhhhh......
Well......
Anyway photo bombing at its best

[ChickenGuy]

What on earth did I miss?!


Someone do a recap?

I suggest that since we've *cough* 'lost' Benderboy's original confession, that he should really come back on here and re-confess what he told us previously.

Some people WILL have missed it, you know.

[Scealle]

My confession is that I am a pretty decent drawer. And even though I love animation and huge fan of Anime, at the moment I have no drive to pursue anything that would benefit this talent.

Do you have any works? I would love to see them

I confessed that I have thought about working in the porn industry many times. Behind the scenes obviously. I don't have the niche for most porn.

[DigitalFudge]

I don't miss Lana Del Rey.



Lex

Oh, you don't?


Well, she sits living in Paradise atop the top five selling albums of 2012 only missing the days of races and video games.

[G-Lexington]

And she can stay there. Away from me.

Lex

[rareboy]

I confess that this forum isn't fun anymore and my plans to leave may be coming sooner than I expected. Wow, guys. Wow.

Well I confess that we will all be sad to see you leave, but we're always glad when someone gives us advance notice of their intended departure.

We've all enjoyed your great contribution to making the board as fun as possible during the time that you've been on JUB.

[refujiunderground]

Well I confess that we will all be sad to see you leave, but we're always glad when someone gives us advance notice of their intended departure.

We've all enjoyed your great contribution to making the board as fun as possible during the time that you've been on JUB.

count, you don't have to self delete as well if you don't wanna post. you can chose to go inactive or simply not post. you don't have to delete your account. you never know if you'll get the feeling to start posting again.

[ChickenGuy]

I suggest that since we've *cough* 'lost' Benderboy's original confession, that he should really come back on here and re-confess what he told us previously.

Some people WILL have missed it, you know.

You know when I think about it - does anyone else see a striking similarity with Lance Armstrong?

Both were at the top of their game, and hugely popular in their time, despite rumours circulating, only to then be finally caught out lying and misleading. Both were forced into making belated and half-hearted confessions that turned out to be unconvincing. Both were inadvertantly helped by ineffective authorities who failed to notice the wrongdoing, and failed to remedy the problem, and are even now too slow to react. Both have lost the trust and respect of their peers, and have their reputation in shreds.

What this thread needs is the ULTIMATE confession, part of Bender's 'healing process' where he lays the truth out before us and admits his sins in front of a worldwide JUB audience.

To help Bender in his 'emotional release' of truth, I volunteer to play the part of Oprah Winfrey.