Straigt Male freinds or Gay Male Friends?

[xbuzzerx]

LOL I adore how this topic is going all over the place.I just have to jump in and say that I too, HATED group projects.

I had to deal with them most in college. Honestly, I think sometimes instructors do it just to see how much shit they can stir up.

Group projects are terrible. I understand the purpose-- it's almost like a preparation for having to work with others in a professional or post-grad environment. But the fact is almost without exception, unless the achiever kids have been placed together, 1 or 2 people do almost all the work and then have a heart attack the night before it's due waiting for the slacker to e-mail his portion at 12:45am.

[MissAnne]

then have a heart attack the night before it's due waiting for the slacker to e-mail his portion at 12:45am.

Yes! That is exactly it. I think that everyone has some crazy group project story.

[Laufey]

Its good to give them something really simple like just Googling some text and pictures which they copy-paste to you and then you do the real work of putting it all together.

[stutter032]

1 or 2 people do almost all the work and then have a heart attack the night before it's due waiting for the slacker to e-mail his portion at 12:45am.

This is so true and you have to change everything anyway because they just copied it word for word somewhere else. "most likely a straight guy btw" Many of my classes are mixed with construction management tools, and there nice to look at but dumb as rocks. lol

[The Fly]

[QUOTE=MissAnne;8644394]

1 tranny (male to female )[/ QUOTE]

I hope that you dont call your trans friend that.

Actually, I call her by her name. But as far as the word/label tranny, she told me that was the term to use. She's also informed me of "tranny chasers", "trans-phobia", and all sorts of stuff I would never otherwise have known.
Would you suggest I go correct her?

[Paws]

I already wrote the following ages ago in another thread: I don't understand how gay men can be friends with straight men. They are the ones who bully us and make us the butt of jokes when in a group. Sure there are gay bullies too and you might be one of them.

I can't talk about my problems as a gay men with straight ones. They are also the ones that use faggot and gay in a derogatory sense. Enough gays use these words as an insult too, but when a straight guy says it, it's like nigger - racist when a white says it, alright if a black says it. Straights also have a hypocritical behaviour, they don't mind you're gay and are all for equality on paper, but once you're away they talk bad about you.

Straight women seem to see us gay men as an accessory. You can be their best friend - for shopping. We get reduced to the cute nice good-looking guy they can go shopping with. But please, do not mention your struggles as a gay men or any details about buttfucking. This ruins their illusion of the cute nice good-looking guy they can go shopping with.

Lesbians... I unfortunately have to deal with a teenage tomboy lesbian at work becoming the butch type. It's part roleplaying, part character. It's annoying how she's trying to be like us men and yet doesn't want a penis. I do not want women acting and looking like men (that goes too for the bossy straight female intern that bullied me). Especially drunk lesbians are obnoxious.

I could only consider gay men to be my friends. They are the closest to my character and life experience.

[MissAnne]

[QUOTE=The Fly;8644933]

Actually, I call her by her name. But as far as the word/label tranny, she told me that was the term to use. She's also informed me of "tranny chasers", "trans-phobia", and all sorts of stuff I would never otherwise have known.
Would you suggest I go correct her?

Ive worked in the Trans community and that has always been a derogatory word. Always. I don't know where you live but where Im from "tranny" isn't acceptable outside the world of porn.

[xbuzzerx]

I already wrote the following ages ago in another thread: I don't understand how gay men can be friends with straight men. They are the ones who bully us and make us the butt of jokes when in a group. Sure there are gay bullies too and you might be one of them.

I can't talk about my problems as a gay men with straight ones. They are also the ones that use faggot and gay in a derogatory sense. Enough gays use these words as an insult too, but when a straight guy says it, it's like nigger - racist when a white says it, alright if a black says it. Straights also have a hypocritical behaviour, they don't mind you're gay and are all for equality on paper, but once you're away they talk bad about you.

Straight women seem to see us gay men as an accessory. You can be their best friend - for shopping. We get reduced to the cute nice good-looking guy they can go shopping with. But please, do not mention your struggles as a gay men or any details about buttfucking. This ruins their illusion of the cute nice good-looking guy they can go shopping with.

Lesbians... I unfortunately have to deal with a teenage tomboy lesbian at work becoming the butch type. It's part roleplaying, part character. It's annoying how she's trying to be like us men and yet doesn't want a penis. I do not want women acting and looking like men (that goes too for the bossy straight female intern that bullied me). Especially drunk lesbians are obnoxious.

I could only consider gay men to be my friends. They are the closest to my character and life experience.

... if you reduce everyone on the planet to a monolithic uniform based on their sexuality and gender... sure.

[Scealle]

Group projects are terrible. I understand the purpose-- it's almost like a preparation for having to work with others in a professional or post-grad environment. But the fact is almost without exception, unless the achiever kids have been placed together, 1 or 2 people do almost all the work and then have a heart attack the night before it's due waiting for the slacker to e-mail his portion at 12:45am.

I feel for you. I had similar problems for 6 months during my short film project and the 2 slackers almost made me fail my semester and waste another 9k school fees. God

[Laufey]

You pay 9 k for just one semester? Ouch!

[Scealle]

You pay 9 k for just one semester? Ouch!

Yes indeed! Private art colleges has always been that expensive. Even my sister's law school's fees are cheaper than mine! LOL Now that they hired a director from Hollywood (named Mike something) the increased the school even more I feel bad for my juniors.

[sokker]

Does it really matter? Friends are friends. Most straight guys are gay friendly and can totally be friends with gay guys.

[Laufey]

Depends where you are located.

[SLOPPYSECONDS]

1st world no manage human label

but 1st world luv ta play wit um

so

thankyou

[Scealle]

I don't know, Sorry. But if a straight girl finds a handsome looking, almost perfect guy....only to discover he's gay. She will feel a bit of resentment...."Why isn't he interested in me? Why doesn't he likes girls?"

Some females can be a bit vengeful toward handsome gays. I have a few friends who behaved like this. It's not like there's not enough hot straight guys in the world, there need to be more hot guys to play on our team too.

[umjreon88]

Strsight male friends aplenty. One of my best friends is a straight Nigerian guy who is slowly coming to terms with my sexuality. He used to say that he wouldn't come to my wedding, but now he even approves when I told him I am dating a guy!

I must say that the close ones are really accepting and they don't even mind if I ask to meet in a gay bar!

[MissAnne]

I don't know, Sorry. But if a straight girl finds a handsome looking, almost perfect guy....only to discover he's gay. She will feel a bit of resentment...."Why isn't he interested in me? Why doesn't he likes girls?"

I guess that could happen. Its never happened to me though.

I think that you need to get some better girlfriends. I comment on my gay friends facebook pictures all of the time and they tend to be shirtless, clubbing it up with dudes. Some people are jealous of others having a good time as well. You have to think about that.

Ive had crushes on straight girls, but it doesn't make me resentful. Its sometimes sad if you really like them, but other than that its more like "Oh Well". Not "Grrrrrr, she likes dick. Im so mad" LOL

Now that I think about it. In college, I thought that this one guy was gorgeous. He was gay, but I wasn't resentful towards him. I was just happy to pass him on my way to class. He had big Robin Thicke hair. It was great.



Are you resentful when you see a good looking straight guy ?

[Medusa]

I don't know, Sorry. But if a straight girl finds a handsome looking, almost perfect guy....only to discover he's gay. She will feel a bit of resentment...."Why isn't he interested in me? Why doesn't he likes girls?"


I guess it's the same situation with straight guys and lesbians.

I don't know, maybe I'm wrong.....

But I couldn't help but notice since I'm openly gay on Facebook.... whenever I post pictures of myself or once I upload a picture of myself with some shirtless hunks on facebook....,no girls ever like or comment on my pctures.

The only people who ever like and comment on my pictures are my guy friends.


Also I notice that when most of my female friends post status on facebook, and when I comment on their facebook status, they don't even bother to reply back to me.


Oh well, whatever. As far as I'm concerned, most of the girls in my school were complete snobs and hang out in their own little cliques like those popular mean highschool cheerleaders that you see in movies. I never connected with them.


I was never really the most popular guy in school and I guess being gay doesn't help either.

I do have a few good female friends.....But at the end of the day, I realise I'm much better off hanging around with my guy friends.

So you are upset that women do not comment on your pictures because you are openly? Boy please. You sound entitled. Why should a straight woman comment on a photo of guys shirtless, when they know they are gay? What's the point?Hell, I would do the same, in fact I did the just that when a gay man ask to be my friend on xhamster.com, but I have done to a few people. Do you want women to compliment you or something?

[Medusa]

Just to add on, I am openly gay on facebook which means my profile says "interested in men".

But all my other friends....those who are supposely gay/lesbian....they did not openly state that in their facebook profile.

So I'm like the only one who openly reveal my sexual orientation on facebook. Takes a lot of guts to do so.


So when my supposely lesbian friends post pictures of themselves with their girlfriends on facebook....the best that I can do is click the "like" button.

I can't really comment on their photos, "Wow, you got a hot girlfriend"..... because they might not want the whole world to know they're lesbians since they did not openly state "interested in women" in their facebook profile.

They did not put "interested in......" in their facebook profile..... So yeah, I have a reason for not commenting on their photos but at least I did try to click the "like" button...which I think will mean a lot to them

Well there you go, you said it yourself you are only interested in men so therefore only men can like your pictures

[xbuzzerx]

Well, I have quite a few lesbian friends.

In fact, I have more lesbian friends than gay friends.

And when I see my lesbian friends post pictures of themselves with their girlfriends on facebook, I will be happy to click "like"

Why can't they do the same for me too?

Then I realise it doesn't matter whether it's straight women or gay women....most women wouldn't want to comment or even click "like" on pictures of gay men or maybe just pictures of men shirtless together on facebook.

I don't think this is a statement about women or resentment or jealousy.

I think this is you think Facebook means more to most people than it actually does. I almost never hit like on anyone's photo. I rarely hit like on anything period. In fact the only reason I ever hit like (and I usually hit "share" too) is when there is something I see on a friend's facebook that I want everyone else to see too-- like a funny cartoon or an important news article or something.

Likewise I almost never receive likes. But I do know some people like stuff RELIGIOUSLY and then get miffed taht no one does it back.

I wouldn't hit like on partially clothed pics of friends at a club either because my coworkers are on my facebook.

[Beachguyj]

I prefer gay male friends.

[Callum]

Funny enough, my very good-looking best friend has an identical twin brother and I think he's ugly. Weird how that works out...

You pay 9 k for just one semester? Ouch!

Yeah, holy fuck! I pay $6800 and change for an entire year of school. One degree floats at around $30k. I can't imagine going to an American school where you rack up twenty billion dollars in loans. Yowzers.

[Nick4444]

I have yet to meet any gays I can connect with away from a bed, so all my friends are straight, and yes they know

Fundamentally, I think gays, for the most part, suffer from an integrity problem, unable to reconcile who and what they are, and so grow up alienated from the larger culture and society around them. This, of course, leads to an authenticity problem that impairs any social relations.

Straights, of course, don't suffer from this problem, and so are able to relate more meaningfully.

At any rate, that is my oh so humble impression.

[Laufey]

I disagree and think you have just been unlucky so far.

There are many people like that in all groups.

If anything I've seen less of it in the gay community. Dealing with the sexuality at a young age pushes you further in searching for your identity.

When you are a part of the majority in most fields (straight, white...) it's easier to just go with the flow and not do any soul searching.

[secondmonkey]

I can't talk about my problems as a gay men with straight ones. They are also the ones that use faggot and gay in a derogatory sense. Enough gays use these words as an insult too, but when a straight guy says it, it's like nigger - racist when a white says it, alright if a black says it. Straights also have a hypocritical behaviour, they don't mind you're gay and are all for equality on paper, but once you're away they talk bad about you.

My best friend is straight, and I have no problem talking to him about anything. If anything, I think he's more comfortable with me being gay than I am. He's very curious about it. And I have a habbit of calling him a fag because he's really picky about his appearance.

I went to a small party at his house with some of his other friends, and was worrying about whether I should tell anyone I'm gay or not. Turns out he already told them, and guess what? Nobody gives a shit...

[Laufey]

If you can't talk to your best friend about pretty much everything... you need a new best friend.

[Nick4444]

I disagree and think you have just been unlucky so far.

That's what I'm hoping

My weekly horoscope says I'm likely to meet a potential lifer this week

[HoodedRat]

I have all kinds of friends ... gay, straight, bi, young, old, white, black, mixed race, etc, etc.

If only I could find a bald-disabled-black-lesbian-jewish-dwarf-single-parent my collection would be almost complete.

[MissAnne]

Hi MissAnne,

nice chatting with you.
.

Hi Love, Nice speaking with you too

[Medusa]

Hm, I'm sure some straight women would feel that way-- like competitive and resentful. I don't think you're "wrong," it would be weird to tell someone else that their experience is wrong. I'm sure there is something to whatever you're sensing. I believe you.

What I notice is that some straight women will say something like "he's gay? what a waste!" if they see a really hot man who happens to be gay. I don't sense resentment though, but a sense of entitlement when they say that, like if a man isn't there to pleasure or procreate with women ("beautiful genes going to waste" etc) they are pretty much useless or less-than a 'real man'.

Stay away from those types of straight women. They're usually the ones who do other dehumanizing things to gay men like treat them as if they are merely accessories for shopping trips and shit. Just weed out those types and befriend the ones that respect you for who you are rather than purposefully alienating you for being gay. Maybe you'll be able to come across more of them in the future.

Maybe it have to do with nothing, about what you said. It could very well be that a woman was sexual attracted to a man that is very handsome, then later found he was gay, and lost types of attraction to that gay man. When male celebrates come out of the closet as gay who are drop dead gorgeous women tend to loose all types of attraction they had before. This is perfectly reasonable. why should a straight woman be attracted to a gay man of all people? Wasn't there a article last year about the guy who plays a robber on that usa network show who came out as gay, and when it was mention that might could play Christian Grey, straight women, even bi women did not find him attractive any longer, they did not want him to get the role.Even the director a gay man said this, and it's true.

So yeah in short, if a woman finds a man who that is drop dead handsome, and later found out he was gay, or even bisexual that man is no longer attractive, and wasted their desire on a gay man. Me as a woman I have done this. I don't not find gay men attractive at all, just like them as gay men do not find women attractive.It's basic logic.

[Lefty]

The things I learn here... simply amazing.

In my co-ed automotive classes we were
only told about Trannys, both Manual
and Automatic.

Also, how all motor vehicles needed to
have one or the other ...

[vacancy3]

About 90% of my friends are straight - mainly because most of the gay guys that are on the scene are whiny, effeminate drama queens which I have no time for on a regular basis. Bit like a screaming child really, I can put up with it for so long, but after a while it becomes irritating.

then hop your butch ass across the pond and lets hook up....love ya mate

[Laufey]

if a woman finds a man who that is drop dead handsome, and later found out he was gay, or even bisexual that man is no longer attractive, and wasted their desire on a gay man. Me as a woman I have done this. I don't not find gay men attractive at all, just like them as gay men do not find women attractive.It's basic logic.

I realize that this applies to most women. However I wouldn't say it's basic logic.

Most gay men are attracted to straight men (some even more than other gay men) and most straight guys are into feminine lesbians.

[MissAnne]

So yeah in short, if a woman finds a man who that is drop dead handsome, and later found out he was gay, or even bisexual that man is no longer attractive, and wasted their desire on a gay man.

This isn't all women. There are a lot of really attractive gay men. If they are hot, they are hot. It doesn't diminish their attractiveness to me.


For example. "My husband", Russell.



Im not saying that this applies to you, but if attractive men are no longer attractive once you find out that they are gay, this could be rooted in homophobia.

[MissAnne]

But that's Bender's husband tho.

Nope. My husband.

[Sparky-Sparky-Boom-Boom]

Sadly I only have straight friends I really need to get some gay friends.

I do find it hard to make gay friends, in the past I have but then I end up sleeping with them and ruin the friendship.