You tortured me in high school..

[wanker90]

And now you want to request me as a friend on Facebook? I didn't like you two years ago since we graduated, and I'm certainly not gonna like you now? The scars of the torment you inflected are still fresh in my mind.

Have you ever had your former high school bully try and add you on Facebook?

[quasar]

Perhaps he wants to kiss and make up?...

[refujiunderground]

i've been fortune enough not to get bullied in high school and anybody that tried to, didn't succeed at all. almost everybody was cool. with the way i came off, i think most folks had to be because they knew that i probably wasn't going to take that at all. especially considering that how pissed off i looked and the thuggish walk i did, i probably would have tried to kill them or shoot the school up. not a fan of facebook either although i have a facebook. rarely on there if at all.

and now you have the power to tell that guy to go fuck himself by rejecting his friend request. who knows. dude is probably gay and is trying to reach out to you for guidance.

[unloadonme]

I don't do Facebook. If I want to keep in touch with someone, I will. If I'm not bothered, I don't need them popping up on Facebook or wherever to remind me what I'm not missing.

[innocentbychoice]

Haven't had a request from my HS bullies but if I had I would ignore them. Fuck them, they don't deserve to be in your life, or to have access to your pictures. NO.

[Telstra]

And now you want to request me as a friend on Facebook? I didn't like you two years ago since we graduated, and I'm certainly not gonna like you now? The scars of the torment you inflected are still fresh in my mind.

Have you ever had your former high school bully try and add you on Facebook?

I don't use facebook.

But is it going to make you feel better if you tell your bully how you were hurt and see their responds.
It is easier to cut them off from facebook friend if they don't change their behavior and say sorry to you.

[LeicsDom]

No, I don't use facebook, why would I want to connect with a bunch of people I don't care about?

Ditto. There is only one guy from school I would give any time to and he will now be unapproachable

[xbuzzerx]

Eh? Why do people act like the only possible use of facebook is to connect with people you don't like?

Maybe there aren't many people offline that you do like? lol.

[justaguy]

I wonder if he's telling you that he has grown up now, and that it's his way of apologising to you in some small way?? Does he realise that he was bullying you? Either way, I can understand the way you feel. And if it was me, I would ignore the request.

[LeicsDom]

I agree with Huntneo. Leave them in the past and give concern to your present and your future. High school helps to shape you, but there's nothing wrong with not carrying it around with you.

I so agree. Why is there such great store nowadays placed on insisting on dragging the past into the present and then bitching about it?
I learned a long time ago to let go of anything and everything that doesn't have a positive impact on my life.
Why should I allow negativity from the past to drag me down?

[oakpope]

It's funny there is no real equivalent in French of 'bully'. There is 'une brute' but it's not a proper translation per se.
I wonder if there are German, Spanish or Italian word for this concept of brutish children that antagonize victims.

[Saybrooke]

I eventually befriended my bullies. But that was before I had a Facebook lol so yeah, a bunch

[Ninja108]

One of the many reasons I left facebook.

[star-warrior]

All the bullies I had at school were in the year above me or two years above, so, no I don't have any to worry about.

You choose what you want in your life, and who you want in it.

[miguelfukt]

Have you heard of forgiveness maybe he wants to apologize to u or maybe he wants to come out to you! I think u should be forgiving and here what he has to say! I was bullied in school and about 8 years after graduated he friended me on MySpace and said he was sorry I forgive him!

[Telstra]

Have you heard of forgiveness maybe he wants to apologize to u or maybe he wants to come out to you! I think u should be forgiving and here what he has to say! I was bullied in school and about 8 years after graduated he friended me on MySpace and said he was sorry I forgive him!

And then hot times after ...

[GregKII]

Nope, but I was never bullied either.

[maxpowr9]

I had a similar situation. Guy bullied me in high school because he had a crush on me and he didn't know how to deal with those feelings. He told me such at the 5-year reunion. I accepted his apology which was extremely tough to do. I kept mum about how what it emotionally and psychologically did to me because I prefer to keep those memories repressed.

[Taz]

I was never bullied at school, But people I had massive. ahem. disagreements with. have since added me on facebook. I accepted, just so they can see how well I'm doing now hahaha.

[mikey3000]

Yes...and not only my "bullies", but people who sat by, watched, and laughed as I was called things and treated in such manners I don't even care to remember.

I've posted about this very thing here on JUB several times, so I won't go into it again. I'll just say that I more than understand where you're coming from. High school is a veeeeeeeerrrrrrrryyyyyy sore spot with me. Don't even get me started.

Ignore them. And if you must say anything...just tell them to kick rocks. They are a part of your past, and there's nothing wrong with you wanting to keep them there.

I can't believe anyone would pick on you. You are too sweet!

Facebook bores the hell out of me, so not bothered. And not bullied much in highschool either. I had people who took care of them if someone tried.

[LeicsDom]

I had a similar situation. Guy bullied me in high school because he had a crush on me and he didn't know how to deal with those feelings.

I had that, too. At school he was an asshole but away from school he was always trying to get in my pants.
The thing was, if he had just been straight about what he wanted I would have said yes. But the dichotomy of his behaviour in and out of school made me distrust him.

[Sultan]

I have become facebook friends with people I once disliked; especially from basic training and other military people. Most of them I've patched things up with and just kinda looked past our differences. I've never actually gotten a request from anyone who was a bully to me. I don't keep in contact with anyone like that from my past but I do have a lot of people on facebook friend list who are very small aquantences and I briefly knew, either from work or school. I could count the number of people I consider true friends on one hand. I don't add anyone on facebook that I haven't actually met in person but I have approved friend requests sent by other people to me, who I've never met.

I have had people who were friendly to me in person but have deleted me off their friends list for reasons unknown. With certain women, I've noticed if they're married, they don't really add any male friends unless they're family or something but others have just mysteriously deleted me ....

[innocentbychoice]

I had a similar situation. Guy bullied me in high school because he had a crush on me and he didn't know how to deal with those feelings. He told me such at the 5-year reunion. I accepted his apology which was extremely tough to do. I kept mum about how what it emotionally and psychologically did to me because I prefer to keep those memories repressed.

Wow you let him go very easily. I would've taken the opportunity to tell him EXACTLY how I felt the whole time he did it and make him feel like shit. Ugh I hate bullies.

[maxpowr9]

^It was a high school reunion. It's one of those situations you don't make an ass out of yourself. If I ran into him anywhere else, I probably would have been less forgiving.

[sixthson]

Or start it all over again.

This is what I was thinking, too. Maybe the schoolyard bully is now a cyber bully?

[Telstra]

I have become facebook friends with people I once disliked; especially from basic training and other military people. Most of them I've patched things up with and just kinda looked past our differences. I've never actually gotten a request from anyone who was a bully to me. I don't keep in contact with anyone like that from my past but I do have a lot of people on facebook friend list who are very small aquantences and I briefly knew, either from work or school. I could count the number of people I consider true friends on one hand. I don't add anyone on facebook that I haven't actually met in person but I have approved friend requests sent by other people to me, who I've never met.

I have had people who were friendly to me in person but have deleted me off their friends list for reasons unknown. With certain women, I've noticed if they're married, they don't really add any male friends unless they're family or something but others have just mysteriously deleted me .... :(

Maybe some people just use facebook for sex hookups.
If no sex, no contact LOL And they won't add their friends or family either.

[BFizzle]

I was the tormentor in high school, so.

[weinerslav]

Well, I have a facebook account just to... I don't know, I never go there anyway, and when I go I always have a bunch of red numbers everywhere, people spend too much time facebooking!

Fortunately never had real bullies but I had a few pet hates, of course I wouldn't add them, I only show the essential to non friends so they can damn their lives because I'm actually awesome ahah. I wouldn't add them because of any hidden agenda they may have, I really don't want to show too much to that people.


EDIT: I must confess that I like to visit their profiles when I get together with my friends, we all point and laugh about their sad little lives lol (that's why I don't add them LOL)

[Telstra]

Well, I have a facebook account just to... I don't know, I never go there anyway, and when I go I always have a bunch of red numbers everywhere, people spend too much time facebooking!

Fortunately never had real bullies but I had a few pet hates, of course I wouldn't add them, I only show the essential to non friends so they can damn their lives because I'm actually awesome ahah. I wouldn't add them because of any hidden agenda they may have, I really don't want to show too much to that people.


EDIT: I must confess that I like to visit their profiles when I get together with my friends, we all point and laugh about their sad little lives lol (that's why I don't add them LOL)

ummm thats not cool.
That is similar to bully.

[MissAnne]

Its kind of weird how people that you went to HS with like to request you on Facebook, even though they never bothered to talk to you all four years that you went to school together.

Ive never had a bully contact me.

Thats one of the reasons that I want to go to my HS reunion. I just want to show everyone how much Ive grown and that Im not that timid, shy girl anymore.

[weinerslav]

ummm thats not cool.
That is similar to bully.

Well, not exactly, since they never know... hence the pet hate... It was all about being fake and badmouthing you on your back, even if you know eventually it happens, some people always take it too far so, it's a little vendetta, not the most mature thing to do, I know, but eventually it makes me feel good that who's on top now is me.

[AlmondMilk]

I was somewhat bullied in middle school. Nothing physical luckily. The person kind of grew up in high school. Never got a facebook request.

[diamondstar]

No one from my past has even looked me up. Thank you Jehovah.

[wilbur33]

I don't want to make light of childhood bullying - I think it's absolutely abhorrent - but the thread topic made me think of this song that I absolutely LOVE:

[diamondstar]

A lovely song indeed. "Are you fucking kidding me?" is the question I ask myself everyday with the folks I deal with.

[gamestarp]

People only remember the good times, I think.

Like for instance, the only guy in my small high school who ever beat me up, still keeps trying to friend me. Not just on Facebook. When I see him back in my hometown, he buys drinks, acts like we're friends. He was such an ass in high school, I don't think he knows what a friend is. I think he remembers having a good time rubbing my face in the dirt, and so he likes seeing me now. Who knows.

Also, why do the acquaintances of my younger brother want to be facebook friends with me? He's been dead, god rest his soul, for ten years. I don't know who they are at all! Is there some kind of prize for having the most facebook friends?

[BreakTheIce]

Facebook is stupid. I quit it over a year ago and don't miss anything. I love how everyone has on average like 100+ friends, most of which they have never even met in person or ever will.

[gamestarp]

Facebook is stupid. I quit it over a year ago and don't miss anything. I love how everyone has on average like 100+ friends, most of which they have never even met in person or ever will.

You shouldn't quit facebook, I don't think. Just do like me, and never post anything. Several times I have learned about events, like marriages and deaths, of which I would never have known otherwise.

[goldenmoth]

Nope, Mine's in jail

[Callum]

I don't really remember high school. I wasn't out so I wasn't bullied for my sexuality. I know names, can place faces, I remember random teachers. It was only five years ago and I don't remember events. They sporadically return to me but it's largely a collection of fragmented memories. Isn't that awful? Ha.

I started out with Facebook in 2006 when I was still in high school. Most of my 'friends' on there are from high school...unlike some people, when they transition to university and add their 'new' friends, I didn't. As a result my Facebook is probably around 90% people I no longer talk to or have no desire to... and it has about 92 friends on it as every few months I'll log on and delete even more people.

[SLOPPYSECONDS]

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[Seasoned]

I'd tell him I'm looking for an apology. Any opportunity to heal a wound ought to be taken.

[BreakTheIce]

You shouldn't quit facebook, I don't think. Just do like me, and never post anything. Several times I have learned about events, like marriages and deaths, of which I would never have known otherwise.

Reminds me of

[xbuzzerx]

Facebook is stupid. I quit it over a year ago and don't miss anything. I love how everyone has on average like 100+ friends, most of which they have never even met in person or ever will.

That was more of a MySpace thing where people could just blind browse and add people they thought were hawt. Having to actually find someone by full real-life name makes Facebook a much more by-invitiation/permission sort of thing.

If you have 100 people on your facebook you've never met and never will all that tells me is you know way too many people online. Plenty of us use facebook to keep in touch with people who move all over the country after school and it's a lot easier to hop on facebook than to constantly try to update my phone everytime somoene moves (assuming they even tell me they moved or changed their phone number or e-mail address, which is hardly a given.)

I don't get all the hate for the website itself from people who apparently opted to use it in a way that annoyed them and then blamed Facebook for it.

[innocentbychoice]

OMG this whole Facebook talk reminded me of this (see the whole thing):

[Wcw10891]

i think im just a cold hearted bitch, but anyone who was mean to me in middle school i would never friend on facebook, even if they wanted to 'aplogize' sorry doesnt cut it for me when you purposely went out of your way to make me feel bad. cause sorry doesnt take back the shitty years and humiliation i had.

Ive had people like that try to friend me and i just hit ignore if they wanted to apologize, they can send a message without being a friend on facebook. i just dont get it. its kind of paradoxical because when they apologize to you its not like they are doing it for you, they are doing it to make themselves feel better because they realized they are a piece of shit.

also ive seen people around and people are like "hey will" and i just look at them wierdly, like its been over 6 or 7 years, how do you remember me that well? as far as im concerned they can sit in thier guilt. but like i said im a cold hearted bitch lmao.

[G-Lexington]

I would never set foot in McDonald's, or any of those fast "food" places. I pit "food" in quotes because it most certainly is NOT edible - it's nothing but slow-working poison.

...oh, sorry. I got confused about which part of current culture I was supposed to act superior over.

For all I know, I've added my bully on Facebook already. I don't remember much about him. His name was Randy, and he was kinda weird looking. As bullying went, it was pretty mild., I guess, because I really don't remember much about it.

Lex

[LaughOutLoud]

He wasn't exactly a "bully", but there was this guy at school that seemed to take a dislike to me for no reason. I could tell he was trying to make me miserable, but we didn't run in the same social circles, so it was easy for me to rise above it and ignore. He was ridiculously hot, always with different women etc

Anyway, it's now been 8 years since I left school, and 10 since he left (he was 2 years above me).

He's engaged, has a kid and lives not too far away from me (though he never did live far away - we've always lived in the same suburb, from living with parents to living on our own).

A few years ago, one of my female friends that was working in a nightclub behind the bar at the time, said that he'd came in once really REALLY drunk. He'd been on a night out with friends and lost them all. Apparently he was telling her that he is "bi" and no one would understand and that it's been hard for him...she said he was almost in tears.

Fast forward a couple of years and he adds me on Facebook. Since school it seems he's done a bit of growing up because I'd bumped into him a couple of times in the street and he'd stopped to talk to me, asked how I was doing etc. I was happy to chat away, because regardless of our past, I'd always fancied the pants off him and would do anything to get into his pants (or so I thought....). Needless to say, I had no issue with adding him on Facebook.

A few weeks after adding me on Facebook he started messaging me quite frequently, sometimes sober, sometimes drunk. Eventually he told me that when he saw me in the street he "liked the look of what he saw" and started asking me if I'd be up for some "discreet fun to help him experiment".

It gave me great pleasure to turn him down

Now when I see him in the street, it's a bit awkward (for him, not me) and I've seen him out in town a few times (I never really go to gay bars/clubs - not my scene). Everytime I see him with a few drinks in him he makes a point of ditching his friends and following me around like a lost puppy, "accidentally" groping my ass when no one is looking etc. Tbh, when I've got a few drinks in me, I enjoy leading him on, I guess as some sort of payback for the way he treated me in school. I've even got a taxi back from town to where we live a few times and he's been very forward, begging me to come in (he lives alone right now because he and his fiancé are having relationship problems - BIG SHOCK!), and I turn him down every time


Therefore, I say add him. If you're out the closet and he knows about it....it could lead to a similar situation, allowing you to get the payback I did

[Telstra]

OMG this whole Facebook talk reminded me of this (see the whole thing):

He is very annoying. Don't know why people "likes"

[Telstra]

He wasn't exactly a "bully", but there was this guy at school that seemed to take a dislike to me for no reason. I could tell he was trying to make me miserable, but we didn't run in the same social circles, so it was easy for me to rise above it and ignore. He was ridiculously hot, always with different women etc

Anyway, it's now been 8 years since I left school, and 10 since he left (he was 2 years above me).

He's engaged, has a kid and lives not too far away from me (though he never did live far away - we've always lived in the same suburb, from living with parents to living on our own).

A few years ago, one of my female friends that was working in a nightclub behind the bar at the time, said that he'd came in once really REALLY drunk. He'd been on a night out with friends and lost them all. Apparently he was telling her that he is "bi" and no one would understand and that it's been hard for him...she said he was almost in tears.

Fast forward a couple of years and he adds me on Facebook. Since school it seems he's done a bit of growing up because I'd bumped into him a couple of times in the street and he'd stopped to talk to me, asked how I was doing etc. I was happy to chat away, because regardless of our past, I'd always fancied the pants off him and would do anything to get into his pants (or so I thought....). Needless to say, I had no issue with adding him on Facebook.

A few weeks after adding me on Facebook he started messaging me quite frequently, sometimes sober, sometimes drunk. Eventually he told me that when he saw me in the street he "liked the look of what he saw" and started asking me if I'd be up for some "discreet fun to help him experiment".

It gave me great pleasure to turn him down

Now when I see him in the street, it's a bit awkward (for him, not me) and I've seen him out in town a few times (I never really go to gay bars/clubs - not my scene). Everytime I see him with a few drinks in him he makes a point of ditching his friends and following me around like a lost puppy, "accidentally" groping my ass when no one is looking etc. Tbh, when I've got a few drinks in me, I enjoy leading him on, I guess as some sort of payback for the way he treated me in school. I've even got a taxi back from town to where we live a few times and he's been very forward, begging me to come in (he lives alone right now because he and his fiancé are having relationship problems - BIG SHOCK!), and I turn him down every time


Therefore, I say add him. If you're out the closet and he knows about it....it could lead to a similar situation, allowing you to get the payback I did

I can't see any payback here.
Maybe childish or a trouble maker ?