7 days post breakup

[K-DubTee]

indudela: I feel for you. I've been there. In some ways, I still am. Things do get better with time, and you'll figure out how to move on in your own time, and in your own way. Eventually, you'll look back on this situation and realize that you were a hell of a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for.

I, too, used to dread mornings and evenings because being alone with my thoughts created more turmoil in my head than anything. That is something that will subside with time.

When I found out my ex cheated on me, I reacted in a very similar manner (although I don't cry. Never have been the crying type). It took me a full six months before the pain really subsided to the point I started feeling normal again. The one thing I didn't do that I should have was to find a way to vent. It's good that you've found a way to vent and to cope with your situation. There's always going to be a insensitive clod telling you to get over it. Fact of the matter is, we all deal with these types of situations differently and there's no one-size-fits-all solution for dealing with a broken heart. I've been there enough times to know that.

I hope you are able to move on soon. The place you're in emotionally really sucks. Good luck.

[rareboy]

For all the broken hearted, I will say once more:

You are the ones who are allowing the hurt to happen once the break-up has occurred.

Stop giving the other person power over you and refuse to be a victim.

That is where you start.

[palbert]

.... There's always going to be a insensitive clod telling you to get over it. ....

I assume that is I.

Oh well.

[looseliam]

This is not your personal blog - it's an open thread. If you want a place to just log your thoughts, use the blog feature. In the meantime, anyone is welcome to add his tuppence to the discussion, palbert included. You, however, are welcome to keep disregarding such tuppence.

[-Kane-]

My heart goes out to you for the pain you've been dealt. I've been cheated on as well, and I discovered the cheating in a similar way to yours.

It was during that time that I found out exactly who I was as a person. I discovered my strengths as well as my weaknesses. I also discovered that I had a co-dependent personality which made it much harder for me to get over him. (he was my first).

Now that you know alot more about your ex than you expected, it is now the time to learn more about yourself. Now is the time to honor yourself and your body with the Love only YOU can give! You will cry many more nights, but after each tear, there will be fewer ahead. You will wake up some mornings with a heavy heart full of pain and pressure. Embrace that pain and sojourn through it, for it means fewer days of pain ahead.

1. Don't Call, Text or Email him. End all contact. No exceptions!

2. You may miss him sexually. Don't think you can win back his affections through sex. You will regret it after the act is over, and you will go back to reminding him of his cheating and demanding contrition from him all over again. If you must; allow yourself to masturbate/fantasize about your ex rather than call him up late one night because your body misses him. BUT you must slowly ween yourself off of thinking of him in a sexual manner. He cheated on you! Keep that in mind!

3. Don't jump into another quick relationship right away. Make new friends. Even date a little. Doing these things will boost your self esteem while allowing your thoughts to occupy another space.

I truly wish you well in the days ahead, and I hope you're making progress since the breakup.

[-Kane-]

I spoke to my doctor a couple weeks after my breakup about treating my severe depression at the time. He suggested that we waited for 4-6 weeks to re-access the situation before he prescribed anti-depressant. Well, my appointment is on the 15th. Maybe, I should move it up. I am tired of feeling like this.

I agree with your doctor's use of caution concerning medication, however if you insist that you need these drugs, then I support your decision. I would recommend Wellbutrin 150mg. I took this antidepressant during my college years and it worked wonderfully for me without the typical sexual side effects. I felt the immediate affects of the medicine just a couple weeks after starting it. While it won't make everything in your life rosey and colorful, it will take away the feelings of hopelessness and despair.

All the best to you.

[sixthson]

You don't need anti-depressants. You need to go through the process of a broken relationship. Much like a death, you need to grieve the loss. Do it now or do it later, after the meds, but either way, you will have to do it.

[rareboy]

^ I would tend to agree.

The p[i;;s just numb the hurt. Better to get really sad and then really angry and then move on.

[sixthson]

Be careful. the Xanax can be addictive. If anything, you need someone to talk to so you can close the door to the past. If you loved him and have good memories, it is supposed to hurt your heart. This is not abnormal.

[palbert]

Indudela - Be very careful with Xanax. It is one of the most addictive drugs out there. My doctor prescribed it for me and I had to go into drug rehab to beat it. The heroin addicts in rehab said they thought heroin detox was bad until they saw Xanax detox. There are other less addictive ways of treating anxiety. Good luck.

[palbert]

I would say get in that kitchen and cook! Invite a friend over and make something you've never made before. Cooking is very therapeutic. And you get to eat and enjoy the therapy.

[panic1]

I cant believe how strong you are. Its taken me 10 months to get to the stage where you are right now. You should try rearanging furniture - it helped me.

I cannot believe what an absolute arsehole your EX is - I mean what a complete TWAT, how dare he feel like he can contact you trying to rub it in your face. What a complete tool. You deserve so much better than that - we all do!

Karma will come round and give you justice. When you have an angry or upsetting thought about him you should close your eyes and push the negative energy away - it honestly helps!

You should try running to help with the lack of appetite

[naquedon]

Wow my heart goes out to you, you're doing so well. All these feelings are totally natural and WILL dissipate in time. I was in a similar position to you almost one year ago and I promise things will get better and you will see the light at the end of the tunnel. My thoughts are with you. Stay strong.

[rareboy]

Good to hear from other survivors. Activity and new interests are as good an antidote as any. Time will do the rest.

[Rolyo85]

I don't want to sound insensitive, but you already have one "personal blog" thread, and this is an advice forum. I recommend you stick to your own topic.

[palbert]

You want a hug because you're having trouble deleting?

Well,

[rareboy]

How do I delete my JUB account btw? I was asked for confirmation code.

I would contact the Mods.

They can help you.

[umjreon88]

because today is one of those days that I could really use a big hug ... sigh ...

There, a big hug for you!

On another note, do you have friends who you can hang out with today? It often helps to alleviate the heavy feeling you have inside.

[umjreon88]

Dear thread, today was very tough at work and I really needed to talk to someone about it and seek advice. This is when I really miss my ex since we could talk for hours about work and being supportive to each other. But I am NOT going to call or text him because that chapter is already over. I am all alone and this is my life.

PM me if you want,,

[palbert]

You eed help son.

http://www.justusboys.com/forum/thre...=1#post8526820

http://www.justusboys.com/forum/thre...=1#post8614119

http://www.justusboys.com/forum/thre...=1#post8597436

http://www.justusboys.com/forum/thre...=1#post8592828

http://www.justusboys.com/forum/thre...=1#post8544791

http://www.justusboys.com/forum/thre...=1#post8543995

http://www.justusboys.com/forum/thre...=1#post8537297

http://www.justusboys.com/forum/thre...=1#post8514803

http://www.justusboys.com/forum/thre...=1#post8509055

http://www.justusboys.com/forum/thre...=1#post8505523

http://www.justusboys.com/forum/thre...=1#post8473113

and the threads go on.

[loveguys72]

You eed help son.

http://www.justusboys.com/forum/thre...=1#post8526820

http://www.justusboys.com/forum/thre...=1#post8614119

http://www.justusboys.com/forum/thre...=1#post8597436

http://www.justusboys.com/forum/thre...=1#post8592828

http://www.justusboys.com/forum/thre...=1#post8544791

http://www.justusboys.com/forum/thre...=1#post8543995

http://www.justusboys.com/forum/thre...=1#post8537297

http://www.justusboys.com/forum/thre...=1#post8514803

http://www.justusboys.com/forum/thre...=1#post8509055

http://www.justusboys.com/forum/thre...=1#post8505523

http://www.justusboys.com/forum/thre...=1#post8473113

and the threads go on.

All the more reason for a hug.

[TX-Beau]

Unlike some people (maybe like you), my love life isn't too peachy and I thought JUB was a great place for me to vent and post. But I do being judged and bullied for posting regularly on here, then it's time for me to go ... I am sorry, but I don't get giggly over "hey, this is my cock pic, please comment" posts

Well, no one in here is giggling over anyone's cock pics. Nevertheless, this IS a place where people comment on your situation. If you don't want people to give you advice, you might continue posting in Hot Topics.

What all of your threads seem to be pointing to, is that you broke up with you"boyfriend," who apparently wouldn't have sex with you, but was fine having sex with an ex. Your threads are kind of disjointed, assuming that the above is correct, perhaps the best thing for you is to keep seeking the advice of a professional, since you don't seem to be asking for any in here.

[rareboy]

So Indude.

You are the only one who can decide whether this one event will become your whole life or not.

I am still struggling, given the relatively short duration of your affair (that is, a couple of months) with the breadth and depth of your despair and depression. You are sounding more like someone who had been betrayed after years of being together, not mere weeks.

I am baffled...particularly since you didn't even live together for these 10 to 12 weeks, that there could even actually have been that many shared experiences or memories to justify the magnitude of grief.

I believe you may have noted that you have been treated for clinical depression at some point in the past and that you are currently seeking professional counselling assistance. I would say at this point that you do need to talk to your therapist about whether the underlying depression is the problem and the break-up with the boyfriend is actually only the manifestation.

I don't think that anyone would dispute by this point, that there is something seriously wrong here.

[rareboy]

Best wishes in finding the professional support that you need to get your through this ordeal and getting back to a state of optimal mental health.

[palbert]

Best wishes in finding the professional support that you need to get your through this ordeal and getting back to a state of optimal mental health.

^^^ This. Best of luck with getting the help you need.