Does he like me?

[neogx89]

So I need help! Please! I have no gay or bi friends to talk to so I feel like I'm in a battle field by myself, so I want my first post to finally give me the support I need in this war.

Its about my best friend, who I've liked since the minute I've laid eyes on him. He's so hot and desirable. Very macho. And a real womanizer, but he acts so different toward me that it confuses me, especially being that he doesnt treat other men this way. I'm gonna list chronicology all the things he does that alarms me.

- We meet for the first time through my best friend, who was his best friend since childhood. We barely exchanged words besides a simply introduction.

- We meet for the second time, but he's very drunk and ask me if I was bisexual or anything along those lines. Of course I denied, because we were in a room with other people, but he asked in a way that bothered me. He was basically on top of me, attempting to whisper this in my ear, and it just looked gay as hell, so I tried to avoid him in this room full of people.

- We meet for the 3rd time, when he was drunk again, but this time decided he wanted to wrestle with me. I dont know what reaction was on my face, but he clearly thought I was mad, and spent the next hour pressing me up against the wall and apologizing to me. Telling me that he doesnt want me to be mad at him. I tell him to back off of me and there was no reason for being so close and he tells me, "whats wrong with me being to close" Our noses were touching and he had no shirt on.

- He finds out I smoke through our mutual best friend, and sets it up so he is there. From then on, he would blow up my phone to hang out, mostly ranting on and on about his girlfriend and all the crazy shit she does.

- He begins dragging me around with him and his girlfriend, even to dinners when it would seem like you would want to be alone with your girlfriend. He also begins downplaying all my friends as if he was the only important one or the one who does the most for me.

- Our mutual best friend tells me that he's shocked at how fast he has warmed up to me and he's never seen this before.

- We move in together as roommates along with our other 2 friends.

- One day sitting on the couch, (he always finds away to invade my personal space, even when there is enough room) I tell him to move over a little bit because he was almost sitting on top of me and the whole couch was available, and he replies "I know you're in love with me."

- One day home alone, he announces he's going to take a shower but then started yelling for me to come to the bathroom, as I go, there he is standing naked with his hand over his cock, asking me if his haircut was fine.

- He gives me a haircut, after persuading me to get on my knees for it even though I wanted to sit, and the whole time I felt his cock through his sweats pressed against the back of my head. If I felt it, then he felt it too.

- He begins to downplay our mutual best friend, throwing him into the catergory of ppl that are not good enough for me, which is extremely odd at how close they are.

- He begins to regularly sleep in my bed, even though he had his own room down the hall. He would just find a reason to be in my room, and under my covers and to go to sleep.

- One day at his moms house, I'm in his room and he jokingly asked me to come cuddle with him. I ignored him.

- At his moms I went to shower and he came up with this excuse of why I gotta leave the door open. -_-

- We are smoking and the lighter is on my crotch and he reaches for the lighter and then says in all seriousness "sorry, i didnt mean to grab your dick"

- One night i stayed over his place and woke up to his hand basically around me. I just told myself he was sleeping bad and moved his hand. I woke up to his head so close to mine, I could kiss him if I wanted.

- He calls me every night for a month straight just to say nothing and sit on the phone.

- We get into our first serious argument, and he basically threatened me, so I told him I was done with him. I thought it was done until he texted me several hours later saying "i wish you were here right now. I love you." (when i do something that he thinks is "fishy" he starts compairing me to his ex girlfriends)

- Our mutual bestfriend told me that he talks about me all the time when I'm not there. He would see something and laugh then comment that I would think its funny or something.

- We are in a straight club and he is super fucked up and comes up to me and ask me to come with him to get a drink then kisses me on the cheek.

- I dont see him in a long time because of work, so I go briefly see him, and we literally did nothing but sit in a car and speak for about an hour, then he text me that he misses me and its fun when he gets to see me.

And now he is on my mind too much because I really do like him but I'm scared that what he is doing is me over analyzing stuff. Especially for the fact, he acts almost lovey dovey to me around our mutual bestfriend and our friend says NOTHING at all. Not even when we lived together and he was sleeping in my bed. I dont know what move to make or if I should do anything. I'm so scared of losing my best friend. regardless of my attraction to him, he treats me so good. And he is a macho guy and fucks alot of girls that I know about, All them times we've slept next to each other, you would think something would have happened by now.

What is your take on it?

[hanzosword]

So I need help! Please! I have no gay or bi friends to talk to so I feel like I'm in a battle field by myself, so I want my first post to finally give me the support I need in this war.

Its about my best friend, who I've liked since the minute I've laid eyes on him. He's so hot and desirable. Very macho. And a real womanizer, but he acts so different toward me that it confuses me, especially being that he doesnt treat other men this way. I'm gonna list chronicology all the things he does that alarms me.

- We meet for the first time through my best friend, who was his best friend since childhood. We barely exchanged words besides a simply introduction.

- We meet for the second time, but he's very drunk and ask me if I was bisexual or anything along those lines. Of course I denied, because we were in a room with other people, but he asked in a way that bothered me. He was basically on top of me, attempting to whisper this in my ear, and it just looked gay as hell, so I tried to avoid him in this room full of people.

- We meet for the 3rd time, when he was drunk again, but this time decided he wanted to wrestle with me. I dont know what reaction was on my face, but he clearly thought I was mad, and spent the next hour pressing me up against the wall and apologizing to me. Telling me that he doesnt want me to be mad at him. I tell him to back off of me and there was no reason for being so close and he tells me, "whats wrong with me being to close" Our noses were touching and he had no shirt on.

- He finds out I smoke through our mutual best friend, and sets it up so he is there. From then on, he would blow up my phone to hang out, mostly ranting on and on about his girlfriend and all the crazy shit she does.

- He begins dragging me around with him and his girlfriend, even to dinners when it would seem like you would want to be alone with your girlfriend. He also begins downplaying all my friends as if he was the only important one or the one who does the most for me.

- Our mutual best friend tells me that he's shocked at how fast he has warmed up to me and he's never seen this before.

- We move in together as roommates along with our other 2 friends.

- One day sitting on the couch, (he always finds away to invade my personal space, even when there is enough room) I tell him to move over a little bit because he was almost sitting on top of me and the whole couch was available, and he replies "I know you're in love with me."

- One day home alone, he announces he's going to take a shower but then started yelling for me to come to the bathroom, as I go, there he is standing naked with his hand over his cock, asking me if his haircut was fine.

- He gives me a haircut, after persuading me to get on my knees for it even though I wanted to sit, and the whole time I felt his cock through his sweats pressed against the back of my head. If I felt it, then he felt it too.

- He begins to downplay our mutual best friend, throwing him into the catergory of ppl that are not good enough for me, which is extremely odd at how close they are.

- He begins to regularly sleep in my bed, even though he had his own room down the hall. He would just find a reason to be in my room, and under my covers and to go to sleep.

- One day at his moms house, I'm in his room and he jokingly asked me to come cuddle with him. I ignored him.

- At his moms I went to shower and he came up with this excuse of why I gotta leave the door open. -_-

- We are smoking and the lighter is on my crotch and he reaches for the lighter and then says in all seriousness "sorry, i didnt mean to grab your dick"

- One night i stayed over his place and woke up to his hand basically around me. I just told myself he was sleeping bad and moved his hand. I woke up to his head so close to mine, I could kiss him if I wanted.

- He calls me every night for a month straight just to say nothing and sit on the phone.

- We get into our first serious argument, and he basically threatened me, so I told him I was done with him. I thought it was done until he texted me several hours later saying "i wish you were here right now. I love you." (when i do something that he thinks is "fishy" he starts compairing me to his ex girlfriends)

- Our mutual bestfriend told me that he talks about me all the time when I'm not there. He would see something and laugh then comment that I would think its funny or something.

- We are in a straight club and he is super fucked up and comes up to me and ask me to come with him to get a drink then kisses me on the cheek.

- I dont see him in a long time because of work, so I go briefly see him, and we literally did nothing but sit in a car and speak for about an hour, then he text me that he misses me and its fun when he gets to see me.

And now he is on my mind too much because I really do like him but I'm scared that what he is doing is me over analyzing stuff. Especially for the fact, he acts almost lovey dovey to me around our mutual bestfriend and our friend says NOTHING at all. Not even when we lived together and he was sleeping in my bed. I dont know what move to make or if I should do anything. I'm so scared of losing my best friend. regardless of my attraction to him, he treats me so good. And he is a macho guy and fucks alot of girls that I know about, All them times we've slept next to each other, you would think something would have happened by now.

What is your take on it?

Wow it sounds like he likes you a lot. He cares about you and that's why he's so intimate with you. It sounds like it's more than a bromance love too lol. It also sounds like he might never admit to having feelings for you in that way. You should text him one day and ask "do you love me" and then ask "how, in what way?" If he says as a friend then ask why he gets all touchy feely with you and wants to sleep with you. You gotta ask him something, it's the only way you'll get answers.

[shadowfang156]

hes deff interested in you. no straight dude will ever kiss-regardless of any other type of kiss (unless its family in some instances, like your dad) another dude EVER

your mutual best friend may think or know of something too.

[shadowfang156]

Wow it sounds like he likes you a lot. He cares about you and that's why he's so intimate with you. It sounds like it's more than a bromance love too lol. It also sounds like he might never admit to having feelings for you in that way. You should text him one day and ask "do you love me" and then ask "how, in what way?" If he says as a friend then ask why he gets all touchy feely with you and wants to sleep with you. You gotta ask him something, it's the only way you'll get answers.

and maybe get drinks together alone and talk about it. alcohol calms the nerves. remember, a drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts

[MatttheBruinsfan]

- Our mutual bestfriend told me that he talks about me all the time when I'm not there. He would see something and laugh then comment that I would think its funny or something.

Aside from all the boundary-crossing stuff, that right there shows that he's pretty much obsessed with you and thinking about you all the time. Which does not read as platonic at all. The question is, are you attracted to him, and do you want to get involved with someone who has such poor control of his own emotions and behavior?

[neogx89]

Aside from all the boundary-crossing stuff, that right there shows that he's pretty much obsessed with you and thinking about you all the time. Which does not read as platonic at all. The question is, are you attracted to him, and do you want to get involved with someone who has such poor control of his own emotions and behavior?

I mean, I liked him since I met him, I'm closeted basically, only my gay friend (who was "straight" for many years but turned out to be a Queen) knows. So, I don't want to risk something that may "out me" so to speak. That's why I'm so scared to do anything back to him, because I don't want it to turn out to a situation where he begins saying he was joking and now has evidence or fact that I would go for a guy.

I mean, I still act different toward him too. I let him sleep in my bed when we lived together, and now when I visit him, I sleep in his bed still. We sleep head to head, if that makes a difference. He just makes me feel good and makes me laugh which is hard to do. And because I've been around him for so long I'm starting to think it might be love, but it would suck to be in love alone. I dont know how to feel or what to do. And when he calls me now, because I'm so confused, I make up excuses for why I can't see him. I think I'm masculine enough, alot of girls try to get me and such, and I do still like girls. I just was the unlucky guy to fall for his best friend.

[neogx89]

hes deff interested in you. no straight dude will ever kiss-regardless of any other type of kiss (unless its family in some instances, like your dad) another dude EVER

your mutual best friend may think or know of something too.

its funny you say that, because alot of people who meet me then meet our mutual best friend will ask me if he's gay. And till this day I dont understand why people ask that, and he denies it. He always says no and I never see him do anything 'gay" that would alarm me. But I wondered the other day, if they both were bi or on the DL and knew about it, and thats why they were so close.

[looseliam]

Who's to say?

But it's time to start testing the waters. If he wants to cuddle, cuddle. He seems like he may want to go further and is looking to you for the okay.

[Georgiadude]

You said what I was thinking in post #6. Your initial post was kicking off red flags all over the place. To me, it really sounds like he may be one of those guys that is interested but when if pushed will blab all over about how you tried to get into his pants. Of course I could be wrong but I'd tread lightly until he either makes a move or you have stronger evidence he's interested. That doesn't mean you cant open the door but I'd let him make the first move.

Steven.

[neogx89]

You said what I was thinking in post #6. Your initial post was kicking off red flags all over the place. To me, it really sounds like he may be one of those guys that is interested but when if pushed will blab all over about how you tried to get into his pants. Of course I could be wrong but I'd tread lightly until he either makes a move or you have stronger evidence he's interested. That doesn't mean you cant open the door but I'd let him make the first move.

Steven.

thanks. thats all i could ever do was wait till he made a move or I had more evidence. I just hoping life isnt teasing me.

[MattClaimer]

First, he's into dudes, and he's definitely into you ... I'd say there's no doubt about that .... but he's living DEEP in the closet in the land called denial. At least that's what I see.

I'd just straight up ask him his deal. I mean he can either get pissed and not talk to you or make veiled threats that he's never going to follow through on because you have just as much on him as he does you. So just ask him what's up and tell him where you stand.

Don't worry over the what-if's and that what-might's. Just bring it all out on the table with him in a neutral place and time - EVERYONE SOBER and comfortable -- and be straight up (no pun intended) about the whole deal. And here's the thing -- while you obviously have feelings for him, if things didn't go so well and he ended up ditching you as a friend because he's not strong enough to accept his reality - well, then, you can't let that wreck you. If he'd dump your friendship over the truth, yours or his, OR do anything to hurt you in trying to hide who HE is - then he's not a real friend to begin with nor would he make a good boyfriend or whatever, for you.

I say this from my own experiences of both being the guy you're talking about and being you. I've had these same battles with my demons and I learned that the best thing is just to be honest, open, direct, and not hide behind things or make excuses or run from the reality of either of you. Just handle it that way and I think you'll know everything you need and want to know.

[genthree]

I would relax and let things advance.
He has had the realization that, although he is a butch hetro, he is really turned on by you and wants to advance the relationship , I would give the guy a chance. I would tell him to back off a little because he is over playing it all - we all make fools of ourselves when trying to impress or get attention - tell him you like him and go from there.
Make sure you keep us informed.

[neogx89]

thanks for the support guys. I saw him yesterday, we just hung out, nothing different but after making this thread, i think i was behaving awkward and I didnt mean it. I layed next to him watching tv, and he layed so close but as usual I dont make a fuss about it. At one point I sat up and his hand was sprawled against my back, still I make no fuss about it lol. I'm such a chicken. He seemed sad when I told him I had to leave so soon though and even sadder when he was saying goodbye, almost as if he didnt want me to go. He claimed he hadnt seen me in a while, which I think is weird cause even though I've been busy with work, I could of sworn I saw him recently. Either way, I'm just a big pussy and I'm waiting for the day he makes a blunt move.

[seven2go]

I think you need to look up the definition of the word "reciprocate".......

[looseliam]

I'd go for gold - next time you're leaving, give him a kiss on the lips, no tongue, just a gentile kiss.

Why look back on life and regret the things you didn't do?

[neogx89]

I'd go for gold - next time you're leaving, give him a kiss on the lips, no tongue, just a gentile kiss.

Why look back on life and regret the things you didn't do?

i wish i was strong like you guys because im so scared to reciprocate it back. He looked so sad last time I was leaving and even when his friend was trying to get him to leave early, he got mad and mad sure to stay until I said I was leaving, like he didnt want to miss a moment with me. But my problem is, I always convince myself I'm over analyzing.

[LeicsDom]

I have had this sort of thing happen to me in the past.
I would say he is definitely into you but is probably in denial about being bi-curious
It is difficult to know whta to do about it. Maybe both get drunk, make a very obvious pass at him and then laugh it off if it goes wrong by saying you were drunk

Reading about his behaviour towards you I would guess he is trying to communicate to you that he wants you without being too obvious and scaring you away.

You are probably both circling each other like stags, afraid to make the first move LOL

[looseliam]

i wish i was strong like you guys because im so scared to reciprocate it back. He looked so sad last time I was leaving and even when his friend was trying to get him to leave early, he got mad and mad sure to stay until I said I was leaving, like he didnt want to miss a moment with me. But my problem is, I always convince myself I'm over analyzing.

It doesn't have to be all romantic and stuff. I recommend it be playful. When he looks forlorn over your departure, you go in for a quick kiss, peck on the lips, and say something like, "don't look so glum. I'll see you soon. Night!" Then dash off leaving him wanting more!

[TheAverageJoe]

lol. I was emotionally all over the place reading your post haha.

One minute I was happy, next I was sad, then I was jealous, then I was annoyed lol.

I think you are the one in denial. If it were me, I'd already know what is case was.

My suggestion would be to simply ask him what's going on. That's all you can do until he comes out to you.

[MindBlast]

He likes you, FOR SURE. He just doesn't know how to say it. You gotta reciprocate just a little, man. Don't lie there and do nothing like a dead fish. You don't have to flat out say you like him. SHOW HIM. When he puts his hand on you, snuggle up to him tighter. Hug him more. Put your hand on his shoulder.

The thing is, he's totally afraid of outing himself as bi (he seems like he's bisexual and not gay or straight, but only he can answer that question eventually, don't ask him directly in my opinion right now). I'm 28 so it hasn't been that long since I was probably close to your age and I remember what a lot of guys were like. Also, avoid talking about girls at all when you and him are together. That'll chill the mood and keep him from talking about how he feels about you if he's going that direction. It's kind of a 'closet' enforcer if you know what I mean.

Things you can tell him:
-"I really like spending time with you, I wish we could hang out more often."
-"Could we stay like this a little longer?" (said when you're cuddling up to him)
-"So, I think we have an unfinished wrestling match, what do ya say?"

Things you can show him:
-that you MAKE TIME for him, specifically. Like you're busy with other stuff, but instead of not seeing him, you cut something else or someone else so that you can spend time with him.
-that you really like cuddling and touching
-spending time with him doing hobbies that you both enjoy
-YOU CALL HIM, for once! Sounds like he's always calling you. Don't make him feel like you don't like hearing from him. Show him you want to by calling him.

[seven2go]

i think you need to look up the definition of the word "reciprocate".......

he likes you, for sure. He just doesn't know how to say it. You gotta reciprocate just a little, man. Don't lie there and do nothing like a dead fish. You don't have to flat out say you like him. Show him. When he puts his hand on you, snuggle up to him tighter. Hug him more. Put your hand on his shoulder.

The thing is, he's totally afraid of outing himself as bi (he seems like he's bisexual and not gay or straight, but only he can answer that question eventually, don't ask him directly in my opinion right now). I'm 28 so it hasn't been that long since i was probably close to your age and i remember what a lot of guys were like. Also, avoid talking about girls at all when you and him are together. That'll chill the mood and keep him from talking about how he feels about you if he's going that direction. It's kind of a 'closet' enforcer if you know what i mean.

Things you can tell him:
-"i really like spending time with you, i wish we could hang out more often."
-"could we stay like this a little longer?" (said when you're cuddling up to him)
-"so, i think we have an unfinished wrestling match, what do ya say?"

things you can show him:
-that you make time for him, specifically. Like you're busy with other stuff, but instead of not seeing him, you cut something else or someone else so that you can spend time with him.
-that you really like cuddling and touching
-spending time with him doing hobbies that you both enjoy
-you call him, for once! Sounds like he's always calling you. Don't make him feel like you don't like hearing from him. Show him you want to by calling him.

Exactly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[neogx89]

Exactly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh man. is there a class for this. i need to register asap. You're right though, I barely call him. I text him cause text is my preference and he responds but sometimes its one worded. But he does call me from time to time and linger on the phone basically saying nothing lol or complaining about something. Idk. Its so hard.

Then he will randomly start talking about any girl he's recently fucked and how sexy she is and if it was anyone else I would respond and talk about it. But because its him, I just smile akwardly. Idk what the fuck is wrong with me.

[seven2go]

There's nothing "wrong" with you.......you're afraid of possible consequences.
AGAIN: reciprocate
Do unto him as he does to you.......what do you have to lose?....... ........and a helluva lot more to gain.......

[neogx89]

There's nothing "wrong" with you.......you're afraid of possible consequences.
AGAIN: reciprocate
Do unto him as he does to you.......what do you have to lose?....... ........and a helluva lot more to gain.......

I'm going to next time. I'm gonna suck it up and try something.

Also, if I had it in me, I would call him all the time and such but because I didnt want to make it seem like I was too into him, I avoid contacting him so much. Maybe once a week. Is that bad? I sound like a lil girl lol.

[seven2go]

^ You're so cute.......

[borg69unimatrix]

He's practically throwing himself at you, and you're not playing "hard to get", you're playing "practically impossible to get".

I agree with everyone else... if you're nervous, let him make the first moves, and then copy back everything he does. Eventually, SOONER then later he'll one up you to the next step.

[neogx89]

^ You're so cute.......

you made me blush

[neogx89]

He's practically throwing himself at you, and you're not playing "hard to get", you're playing "practically impossible to get".

I agree with everyone else... if you're nervous, let him make the first moves, and then copy back everything he does. Eventually, SOONER then later he'll one up you to the next step.

You guys are amping me up. I laughed at "practically impossible to get" because I never thought about it that way but I am technically for no damn reason. I keep hoping for blunt interactions and maybe all those were blunt actions and I missed the signs. Ughh. Excuse me while I go stare aimlessly at the sky.

[seven2go]

I text him cause text is my preference and he responds but sometimes its one worded. But he does call me from time to time and linger on the phone basically saying nothing lol or complaining about something.

Let's cut to the chase........
YOU call/text HIM and ask him if he would like to join you somewhere for coffee/ice cream/a drink or two/whatever and take it from there.......

[genthree]

Let's cut to the chase........
YOU call/text HIM and ask him if he would like to join you somewhere for coffee/ice cream/a drink or two/whatever and take it from there.......

....................and if he gets all girly and silly like you and starts to make excuses tell him you are on your way and will see him in 30 mins.
( I rang a guy once and he couldn't this , bla bla bla, so I said "I am on my way".........it was'nt a waste of time........)

[neogx89]

Thanks for the support guys. I truly appreciate it. I dont feel so alone anymore.