I am NOT shitting any of y'all while I'm sharing this.
When I first purchased my farm in Central Texas I wanted to "grow organically."
Texas A&M University in College Station, Texas has a simple soil evaluation/pH test.
So this is what I did:
Three tablespoons of soil from my garden into a peanut butter jar.
3/4 cup of water.
Shake to mix.
Let it settle.
The heaviest material will settle to the bottom first; clay, then sand, then "organic material."
Depending upon which of those layers were the "thickest" would determine the "amendments" that needed to be added; mulch, manure, minerals, etc..
Before I sent off my soil sample to get a reading on the pH balance, I showed the peanut butter jar to my socially conservative GOP/Libertarian BFF since middle school friend.
He pointed at the jar and said, "
That's proof of the Great Flood!"
I said, "What?"
And he said, "
Remember that trip we took to the Grand Canyon?"
And I'm like,
"NO!
2,000 + years ago God did not put the Earth into a Peter Pan Peanut Butter jar, shake it up, then let it settle into a National Park!
I just want to figure out if I can grow plumb tomatoes!"
Turns out that I could, and we still haven't found the ark.
