DL fuck buddy for 7 years-should i continue?

[bzeboy]

So when i met my DL fuck buddy, he was a fish out of water. He wanted me to dress up and even wear female underwear and i kindly said no. Several times he lost his erections during sex but slowly we have a different relationship now. he doesn't care anymore if i have a beard, he stays rock hard and never again ask for me to dress up. it all changed in our 5th year of fucking where our interaction changed! Maybe he got comfortable or maybe he started liking me more.

We use to just have sex late at night and him refusing to take his hat off. Now he started to come and visit me in the day and having sex.

He asked me in our 5th year of fucking around if i wanted to be his bitch. What do you guys get from this?

I always catch him staring and at me when i am sucking his dick. Then he will kiss me and say i am so sexy!

we have our little breaks here and there, where he will disappear and do his thing but i took one the last time and i think it shook him up. reason being the first night after this break, we had sex and when he came through the door he kissed me, he caressed me and kiss me some more and didn't get straight into having sex, while we were fucking he was whispering in my ear telling me how i was sexy, that his dick is mine and for me to tell him i love him! it send me loopy because this was lovemaking and not fuck buddy fucking. 6th year of fucking.

He started calling me shorty, act less paranoid, leaves his phone and wallet when he goes to the bathroom. He even answered a call from his daughter infront of me once. (he has a daughter but not married). this was in our 6th year.

he is the one who text me, he is the initiator but recently when i contacted him he answers me right away. I never had an issue with communicating with him, if i call he answers, if i text he answers. I just was not being a buga boo and plus if we are fuck buddies we don't need to be chatting all the time.

i know he will never come out to the point i need him too be but i am starting to fall for him, He is letting his personality out and i like what i see. He even told me his right name and birthday lol. I even went to his job, no one was there of course so i gave him head, lol. He has open up so much to me which he hid for such a long time.

he wants us to go to Hong Kong or Paris together!

there is lot more but from what i wrote, do you guys think he like me a lot but still caught with his hetero-norm conditon and life so he's scared to take it further?

[newt72]

sounds like he is starting to come around, maybe he realized what you mean to him and not willing to loose it sit down and talk with him and find out what is going on

[bzeboy]

Thanks for you perspective on this newt72....he is not the best communicator, he avoids stuff thats to deep, he prefer showing his care by actions. Sometimes i feel so sorry for him because he lies in my bed obviously embattled.

[bzeboy]

My major concern is that i am 29 and think if i continue waiting for him to come around i might miss out on someone else. He respects me, he's polite and caring...he was trying to come see me after hurricane Sandy but couldn't drive to me because the FDR was close. He lives in Brooklyn. I was never the relationship type when i first met him but suddenly i turned 29 and all these relationship hormones is kicking in. I even like babies and kids now, I stop having sex with other people for about a year now and thats BIG for me. I haven't told him that i but i think he figured it out though! he brings boxes of condom and we will use one out of it and when he comes back he will count how much he left in there since the last time haha its so cute![/QUOTE]

[Maklaar13]

You should continue to enjoy your time together. Like others wrote, he has change and seems more comfortable with you. Someone told me once that if we worry too much about the future we forget to enjoy the present. Best of luck.

[BrianPGH]

It sounds like the two of you really care for each other and enjoy being with one another -- there's a lot to be said for that. Like you mentioned, he may never be fully comfortable with coming out or with defining your relationship as "boyfriends," etc.

However, that doesn't mean you can't continue to have something very special together for years to come. Although you may want to reevaluate your relationship with him if/when you meet someone who can offer you all the things you're looking for.

I wish you (and him) the best of luck in the future.

[bzeboy]

your so correct @Maklaar13, i get so caught up in my head a lot of times that i never stop to smell the roses!!

[bzeboy]

Exactly @BrianPGH i think thats my fear because i am starting to lean more towards wanting a boyfriend, To share something other than my apt/bedroom. Will we never go to a movie or dinner? When i love, i love hard and i am just scared that when i do meet someone to give me all i want in a relationship, i won't be able to walk away.

[newt72]

you might have to tell him excatly what you need communication can be hard for some people it is for me like your buddy i am not the best at it i show through actions as well, a good case of my ex wife for example i wish you the best of luck but you may have to call it quits for your own peace of mind

[The lad of night]

Congratulations you're on your way to becoming a mistress :P
Personally , I require more..... instant gratification .
after 7 yrs you might as well stay, just don't be too available opportunities are abound for the out and about gay

[bzeboy]

i am not a mistress yet....he is not married remember! i hear ya....good oints though and noted @The lad of night.

[jleon83]

I had a relationship like that, it didn't last 7 years though. My experience was a bad one so my opinion is a jaded one. It sounds like he has fallen in love with you and you have done the same but he will never come out for you and do right by you. I would say leave because in the end you will only get hurt and he will go back to his life where you do not exist. I am still a little bit of a romantic so if there is a chance at love and true happiness you should try. My only advise is to realize you will probably never have a relationship where you can express your love in public or talk to his friends or family, you will always be a secret. I could not accept that but if you have been doing this for 7 year you already know how to handle that. Best of luck.

[Bi Married Male]

You are very lucky to have this DL guy in your life. Give us a current update.

[bzeboy]

You are very lucky to have this DL guy in your life. Give us a current update.

UPDATE: We are more intimate, he kisses me when he comes to see me and when he is leaving! He said i love you and i'am the best after one of our hot love making sessions. I went over his job, he invited me to lunch but was a little terrified....i was so proud of his baby steps that i gave him a blowjob in his office lol!
I must say do he is enjoying me rimming him and he plays with my cock now. The other day he was whispering in my ears while he stroke my dick and fucking me on back to fuck his hand like it was fucking his ass! Now i normally bottom but in past had some encounters where i top, ( i am not one of those queens weirded out by entering a tight asshole, i only run from pussy and trust i never say i am a versatile because i am not). When he did that i almost asked him to marry me because he is trying and i came the hardest than i ever did! I think we've fallen for each other but our relationship will never be the fairytale heterosexual norm that we mostly base gay relationships on but then why should we base homosexual relationships on heterosexual norms? I just taking it slow and everyday he make big strides, more than i ever expected...well after all its going on to 8 years. Oh its so cute that he gets jealous and insecure that i am seeing someone else when i am busy with work and cannot see him. The other day we were texting and he wanted to come over but i had a friend over, i told him this and he responded with 'truly'....i responded with 'cross my heart' and he responded back with 'i meant ttyl lol' haha! its cute to see him and i as well fighting our true feelings...

[Storybook_Man]

I am so happy for the both of you. I wish my current guy that I am seeing would be this way but like yours, he is making big strides. Granted I am more like your friend when it comes to in the closet. I think I am falling in love with the guy I am seeing, just afraid to tell him because he is 56 and I am just turning 26, also because this is all new to me. He has gotten me to do so many things that I wouldn't normally do. The biggest one is sleeping in bed with a guy yet alone and the biggest part, I have had him sleep over my house a couple times the past few weeks and this past week he slept over 3 times. Now this may not seem big to you guys but I have a third floor tenant that knows my family very well and its scary the thought of getting caught especially because of his age but my love for him is conquering it.

I wish you and him the best of luck. I am truly happy for you.

[emancipado]

it seems to me that he might have strong feelings for you!

[emancipado]

omg, that's so great!!!

[bzeboy]

Thanks @Storybook_Man and @emancipado just hoping that i can accept that he might never meet my mother! I am taking it slow and praying for the best and keeping my expectations low.