Stepdad relationship?

[Shookone88]

I just want your thoughts on this. My mom got married in July to this guy, and he never speaks to me or attempts to make any kind of contact. He doesn't respond to my emails or messages. I have only seen him a few times around holidays, and even then he never wants to have a conversation, he comes off as rude and ignores me. He has no problem talking to other people, and is not a shy person at all.

I talked to my older brother and he says the same thing..

My dad died last Christmas. It would be nice to have somebody there as a father figure, but I don't understand what I did wrong to make him not want to talk to me. And ever since they got married, my mom stopped talking to me. I've only heard from her once since July. We used to talk almost every week.

[AngolaZee]

Obviously its time for you AND your brother to discuss this with your mom. Call a "meeting" if you have to but you have to get to the root of this (is it because you are gay?). If your mom doesn't want to talk to you anymore then she must say so and you can move on.

Just one question: Were your parents divorced when your father died? Because for her to get married just 7 months after her husband passed away is just unbelievable. After you lose a soulmate you need time to grieve

[jaysizzles]

If you cannot think of any reason why he does not like you, then I'd say it's him, not you, but there is not a lot go go on here...your history with him (any confrontations?), your mom's state of mind, background, etc. It does seem like he moved into her life very quickly since the time of your dad's passing. I question whether your mom's new husband is purposely trying to alienate her from you and your brother...seems that way....does your mom have money?

I'll assume you live far away from them since you say you call/email...no mention of visits. I do think it's important for you to visit your mom, take her to lunch...away from him...and have a heart to heart with her, get to the bottom of this. Make sure she is not depressed or under his control. If she insists that she is fine and he's a good guy (I kind of doubt it tho), then perhaps you need to make more of an effort to get to know him and accept him. In turn, he may reciprocate.

[racer2438]

You and your brother need to sit down w/mom ALONE/PRIVATE and talke to her about this. It's the olny why you 2 are going to get some answers.


He may be or is putting up a wall between you 3 and if you let it go up it's hard to bring down. And don't let this guy run the show, stand up to him and let him know you have a right to see your mom, and don't let him bully/push you guys around.

[HunterM]

If I were you, I would check with the local police to see if there's a criminal record of your stepdad.

You wanted to get to know him better in person, but he refused multiple times. He blew you off. Sounded like suspicious behavior to me. So why not do some background checking on him?

[loveguys72]

If you've made multiple honest attempts to get on good terms with your stepdad and been rebuffed, take that as a clue he doesn't care to have a relationship with you. As for your mom, I agree with others here. You and your brother need to meet with her in person, just you three, and both of you need to calmly, clearly express your concerns for her and your relationships with her. Based on the outcome of that conversation, proceed accordingly.

Sounds like a sad and tough situation all around. I hope everything works out for the best.

[Seasoned]

You mention seeing him on holidays. We're your parents divorced and had she been dating her husband for awhile? We're you and your brother at the wedding? I hate to think that she is one of those desperate people who will allow a partner to control her life. Do you have grandparents or aunts and uncles that could offer support or insight? It's important to see your mom when she is alone. I hope she's ok.

[Shookone88]

Obviously its time for you AND your brother to discuss this with your mom. Call a "meeting" if you have to but you have to get to the root of this (is it because you are gay?). If your mom doesn't want to talk to you anymore then she must say so and you can move on.

Just one question: Were your parents divorced when your father died? Because for her to get married just 7 months after her husband passed away is just unbelievable. After you lose a soulmate you need time to grieve

Yes they divorced in 2006