If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

[slnattak]

Gay men: You're being bullied because you're bullying them. Your very existence threatens them. You are naturally different and have different brains so that's why they pick on you so much. It's their way of trying to handle it.

Acting like a victim 24/7 about it helps nobody. If you weren't scaring the shit out of them, they wouldn't be trying to scare the shit out of you. Gay men are naturally bullied... how else could I relate so much to what you're saying? And you're all gay like me.

I was treated so badly in high school, like ones of the worst ones. And I hear soooo many gay men report EXACTLY the same thing.

I never let it make me suicidal though or anything. So that's why I think suicide isn't related to this issue and if a gay teen is suicidal it's more to do with the fact that he has non-supportive parents. My parents are supportive.

[Kulindahr]

Gay men: You're being bullied because you're bullying them. Your very existence threatens them. You are naturally different and have different brains so that's why they pick on you so much. It's their way of trying to handle it.

Acting like a victim 24/7 about it helps nobody. If you weren't scaring the shit out of them, they wouldn't be trying to scare the shit out of you. Gay men are naturally bullied... how else could I relate so much to what you're saying? And you're all gay like me.

I was treated so badly in high school, like ones of the worst ones. And I hear soooo many gay men report EXACTLY the same thing.

I never let it make me suicidal though or anything. So that's why I think suicide isn't related to this issue and if a gay teen is suicidal it's more to do with the fact that he has non-supportive parents. My parents are supportive.

Our mere existence "bullies them"?

That's ludicrous. They're not harmed by our existence, not disturbed at all except in their own minds. The only bullying going on with them is what they are doing to themselves -- deluding themselves that there's a threat, and purely fantasizing that there's some sort of harm.

Gay guys, the ones bullying you don't count as people. They're behaving with their hindbrains, like animals. They're beneath you -- so don't let it get to you.

[Lostlover]

This thread is reminding me that I can be nicer to people. You never know what they're going through.

[Yomaga]

I hate bullying. It pisses me off so much when i see people bully other people

[mikey3000]

AS a married guy with a wonderful wife and two little kids, realising my need for male affection was devastating for me. Suicide was (and still sometimes is) a daily thought. Would my family be better off without me? But in the last year I've had two suicides hit close to home and I've learned how truly devasting suicide is. I'm comming to terms with my sexuality a little more every day and learning how to fit it in to my current situation. But still, every day is a struggle.

[xxxMAD376xxx]

I'm just so sick of hearing about LGBT suicides! I can't stand the fact that we don't make more of an effort to fight back! I'm also sick to death of the "Turn the other cheek" approach! It obviously DOSE'NT WORK! Let's try "Fight fire with fire", or "Eye for an eye"! Let's see some of those nazi scum kill themselves! Yes I'm filled with rage. I've been filled with rage my whole life because I'm less than & second class to the government & "society". What I don't understand is how calm everyone else can be during a time like this! I'm not always like this, but it just kills me every time I see that another brother or sister has fallen to hate.

[nathanielby]

OMG this really bothers me that people committed suicide cause of bullies, smh this is terrible

[Kulindahr]

OMG this really bothers me that people committed suicide cause of bullies, smh this is terrible

Be glad that people pay attention now. When I was a swimming instructor, one of my students didn't show up one day. He'd finally had enough of "getting picked on" at school, was the guess; at any rate, he went and hung himself from a tree.

No one talked about it. It was hushed up. I was told to never mention it. The staff at the Y pretended it never happened.

[larryng]

Jason you're post seems pretty down. Call this number if you need help.

Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255

[frankfrank]

Jason, you have found a place here where there are a lot of [unseen] people who care about you and wish you the best possible kind of life, and I'm one of those. Do you have hobbies or other things which keep you busy, such as gaming, spending time with media, etc.? Are you "fulltime or mostly" working and/or in school? Being busy with things doesn't solve the underlying issue, but it can break the vicious circle of worrying about things and having that become a cycle which grows by feeding on itself.

Just ask, and there are people here who will gladly talk to you, perhaps even on the phone, as well as there being other general resources which are quoted through this thread.

[slnattak]

Stopping bullying is simple:

don't have people with such vastly different psychological perceptions in the same building. That's madness, that's insanity. We should be able to interact with people that we are free to interact with. Nothing good comes out of forcing anybody to do anything.

school is a lie, the knowledge you get is worthless... and the socialization doesn't work for the kids who are actually smart and compassionate.

If people would just listen to me the world would be better off but obviously somebody 'up there' likes to see so many people tortured and in pain. Whoever it is, it's certainly the world's biggest asshole.

Yes, you don't have to remind me that evil is fought primarily within. I already know that and spend much of my time meditating and conquering my own inner demons. That is why I am one of the leaders of humanity. Om!

[Kulindahr]

^
Better, reduce the size of schools. It's been shown repeatedly that schools where everyone knows everyone else, students learn better, learn social skills better, have more self-esteem, and engage less in bullying.

[IAMTHATIAM]

Life is what we make it.

When we are back-slapping 'HAPPY' stupid apes, lost in lies (what are lies? assertions with no foundation -- these are lies; contorted rhetoric mascerading as reasonable thought, leading to (sadly) usually lies, but just to mess with us at times truth.

Why do I care SO much for the WAY gay dudes? I am one, but I love all life.

I do not understand but a persistent truth reverberates, one not understood WHICH CAN NOT BE IGNORED--YOU are important, vitally important to our survival.


Sure, most are shallow and foolish, but those who love, struggle, do not fit into the insane 'perfect' order -- YOU ARE LOVED AND MUST LIVE!!!

YOU ARE NECESSARY. I'm sorry your lives are so hard.
___

It gets better? No, not unless you grow, struggle and change. It sucks. It's life, and you are MORE alive than most. I'm sorry, and I love you, what more can I say. YOU ARE NEEDED FOR ALL, in some strange impossible way I do not fully understand. Not your suffering, YOUR GROWTH! YOU BECOME MORE. YOU LIGHT UP THIS WORLD. YOU ARE SO MUCH MORE BEAUTIFUL INSIDE...

I don't know what I'm trying to say... except YOU ARE LOVED AND LOVABLE. Can't you see that in one another? Not blindly, never that, just... live and love. Make this horrible world, this horrible humanity BETTER!!!!

YOU CAN DO THIS! Only by living can you do this, NEVER in dieing. We all die. FUCK that.

LIFE is too hard, FAR too ALL-ENCOMPASSING. Who has time to ponder death? Only those already dead inside, those who fear death and hate life. NOT YOU!

LIVE!!!

[Daximus]

I miss my partner of 7 years so much all I think about lately is offing myself. In the last 6 months I've thought more about suicide than my entire life. I have no one to blame but myself. I knew what I was doing when I tried to drink myself to death. Now all I have is regret and sorrow.

Ron if you can forgive me it would literally save my life.

[Kulindahr]

Having never had a partner, I can't really comment on the pain. But I have tried suicide, and afterward realized something: there may be future joys in my future, but if I take away that future by killing myself, I'll never find out.

Don't rob yourself that way.

[DreamDancer310]

This is lovely....but I have to respectfully ask...I'm a little puzzled how the gay community can position itself as being so concerned for our bullied and hurt gay youth yet.....in every other thread there's posters making generalizations, bashing, belittling, berating, judging, and really demonizing FEMININE gay men. And it happens everywhere in the gay community. No, not wanting to sleep with a fem gay man is not my example of femmephobia. But assuming bitchy automatically means fem (it doesn't, and bitchy or mean is not exclusive to being fem) or going out of your way to make our feminine gay brothers feel ostracized and ridiculed (which some posters seem to...and with pride, and when confronted, say "grow a pair!")....

I mean isn't that counter productive to this whole "we're so concerned about bullied gay youth?"

Let's keep it really real now...really really real.......which gay youth do you think are more prone to getting bullied? or better yet, what do you think is the typical day of a young gay kid who is inherently fem?

If you're so concerned about his well being....how about in a few years when he turns 18, and is still inherently fem (not bitchy, not mean, but simply fem) and has to be met with an onslaught of "uhh, stereotypical fem f*gs are just embarrassing. They give us all a bad name! Freak shows!"....and those things are coming at them from....GAY people.

The irony always puzzles me. And this isn't addressed to all, but some.

[Florent]

Nothing written makes sense. Put some thoughts together - please. Your scattered - is there a point?

[Kulindahr]

Nothing written makes sense. Put some thoughts together - please. Your scattered - is there a point?

I read the whole page above this and couldn't figure out who it's addressed to. Care to enlighten us?

[richanth]

i just wish that my depresion didnt also make it as hard as it is too no matter what i do i cant stop thinking of somthing i dont want to do

[Praxus]

I hate to say it but I've been seriously depressed for a while now (relationship issues) and I just keep getting darker and darker thoughts about just ending it, soon. My bf will be away this long easter weekend and I just keep thinking this is the time. I really just want to go to sleep and not wake up. I hurt so bad inside and my thoughts have become so black that it's really a struggle to get out of bed each day and pretend that I'm ok. My head hurts all the time, my heart hurts all the time, and when I'm alone, which is a lot, all I do is cry. I just really don't think I can take another week feeling like this. I put on a fake smile when I leave the house and it really feels like I'm dying inside and I just can't take feeling like this anymore.

[dustin-33]

You are not alone. There are more gay people around than you might think. Make use of the resources posted here. Create an account and post your trouble in Coming Out & Relationships.

[dereperez]

I hate to say it but I've been seriously depressed for a while now (relationship issues) and I just keep getting darker and darker thoughts about just ending it, soon. My bf will be away this long easter weekend and I just keep thinking this is the time. I really just want to go to sleep and not wake up. I hurt so bad inside and my thoughts have become so black that it's really a struggle to get out of bed each day and pretend that I'm ok. My head hurts all the time, my heart hurts all the time, and when I'm alone, which is a lot, all I do is cry. I just really don't think I can take another week feeling like this. I put on a fake smile when I leave the house and it really feels like I'm dying inside and I just can't take feeling like this anymore.

It's been a month....I hope you are doing ok buddy. Small consolation, but if you could just see all the support you can get from here.

[Draven]

I've come to terms with the fact that if I disappeared tomorrow, no one would care.

[KennyD]

I hope this is the right place to post my story....
I will be 64 years young next month in June ... All of my life; I have questioned my sexual orientation , dealt with the remarks from friends and family .... BUT; I managed to exist in my own private world.
Recently; an extended family member has come forward and is telling others including his mother (my best friend and confident) that I Molested him some 30 years ago . This is a LIE if there was ever a lie told ....
This from the guy whom I took places , had in my home many many times even on week ends when he wanted to get away from the lonely farm they lived on .... then; when he was 20 years old or so , I came home one day and he was sitting at my front door with his belongings in garbage bags because he had been kicked out of where he was living .... so I took him in for about eight weeks until he got his self re organized .
He continued to come to my home now and then for years until I moved out of state, sometimes staying over and sleeping on couch or spare bedroom .... and NOTHING sexual ever happening .....
Now; out of the blue he begins making these unfounded accusations and I am at my wits end .... my entire extended family is not speaking to me , I haven't spoken to blood family since my sister murdered our mother back in 2006 and go away with it ...
I've seriously considered taking my own life .... I have NO ONE whatsoever who really cares if I am dead or not and I know this ... and NO ONE can tell me any different ....
If it wasn't for my little five year old dog ... I would have taken my own life by now .... BUT: I've "Humanized" him to the point where he THINKS he is a little boy .. sleeps in the bed with his head on the pillow, wants to go "Get the mail" with papa" ... etc etc .. and I know that NO ONE would take care of him and treat him / spoil him like I do if I was not around ....
Yet; I just have this feeling that I am so tired of living or rather EXISTING in the cruel and evil world .... yet; I do so for my little boy.
I just hope that he goes before me in the land of spirit .. then; I will have NO Problem of doing what I need to do to leave this earth plane , also ....
Thanks to all of you who read this ... just had to vent and share my own story with maybe someone or those who might understand what I am dealing with ...
AS I sign off ..One piece of advice that you all need to take very seriously ... NEVER ; under any circumstances or conditions be ALONE with anyone under the age of 18 ... NO Matter who they are , how well you THINK you know them or their parents / family etc ... it can come back to haunt you YEARS later as it has be ....
Thanks for letting me tell my story ... KennyD

[silentalk]

I hope this is the right place to post my story....
I will be 64 years young next month in June ... All of my life; I have questioned my sexual orientation , dealt with the remarks from friends and family .... BUT; I managed to exist in my own private world.
Recently; an extended family member has come forward and is telling others including his mother (my best friend and confident) that I Molested him some 30 years ago . This is a LIE if there was ever a lie told ....
This from the guy whom I took places , had in my home many many times even on week ends when he wanted to get away from the lonely farm they lived on .... then; when he was 20 years old or so , I came home one day and he was sitting at my front door with his belongings in garbage bags because he had been kicked out of where he was living .... so I took him in for about eight weeks until he got his self re organized .
He continued to come to my home now and then for years until I moved out of state, sometimes staying over and sleeping on couch or spare bedroom .... and NOTHING sexual ever happening .....
Now; out of the blue he begins making these unfounded accusations and I am at my wits end .... my entire extended family is not speaking to me , I haven't spoken to blood family since my sister murdered our mother back in 2006 and go away with it ...
I've seriously considered taking my own life .... I have NO ONE whatsoever who really cares if I am dead or not and I know this ... and NO ONE can tell me any different ....
If it wasn't for my little five year old dog ... I would have taken my own life by now .... BUT: I've "Humanized" him to the point where he THINKS he is a little boy .. sleeps in the bed with his head on the pillow, wants to go "Get the mail" with papa" ... etc etc .. and I know that NO ONE would take care of him and treat him / spoil him like I do if I was not around ....
Yet; I just have this feeling that I am so tired of living or rather EXISTING in the cruel and evil world .... yet; I do so for my little boy.
I just hope that he goes before me in the land of spirit .. then; I will have NO Problem of doing what I need to do to leave this earth plane , also ....
Thanks to all of you who read this ... just had to vent and share my own story with maybe someone or those who might understand what I am dealing with ...
AS I sign off ..One piece of advice that you all need to take very seriously ... NEVER ; under any circumstances or conditions be ALONE with anyone under the age of 18 ... NO Matter who they are , how well you THINK you know them or their parents / family etc ... it can come back to haunt you YEARS later as it has be ....
Thanks for letting me tell my story ... KennyD

I'm really sorry to hear this. I've had suicidal thoughts myself last year. I know the feeling that no one can help and that life won't get better. And honestly I don't have a solution. People told me to go to therapy, which I did. It didn't help. But the depression is gone now, and I don't even know the reason. Right now, I want to "live life to the fullest". One thing I did that calmed me down: I prayed a lot and kept praying. I know many people don't believe in God, but to me, it was a place to pour my heart out. If you're not religious, I'm not telling you to pray. Find someone to let it all out. But if you are (or if you prefer not to talk to people about it), maybe you should give it a try, whatever your faith is and whatever you believe in.

I was deeply touched by what you said. If I could do anything to ease the pain, if anyone here on JUB can do anything, just let us know. Our hearts are with you

[IAMTHATIAM]

Guess what... this world Is a mess.

Surprise. It's true.

...........
You are fine as you are.

You are fare from perfect, but YOU ARE FINE.

BETTER struggling and fumbling toward BETTER.

Yeah, it's that simple.

Those who STRUGGLE,FUMBLE, FAIL BUT LEARN and grow.

True. Honest. Hard won. but honest,

[billycollege]

Life is really hard sometimes. I have been bullied my whole life. Not for sexual orientation. but just for being odd. I wish I could be normal sometimes, but then I think that normal sucks and I want to be me. Self esteem is a big issue for me, nothing makes me feel better than a compliment. Being in college isnt perfect, but its far better than high school. So I guess this random thought post of mine is about over. Thanks

[Kulindahr]

Life is really hard sometimes. I have been bullied my whole life. Not for sexual orientation. but just for being odd. I wish I could be normal sometimes, but then I think that normal sucks and I want to be me. Self esteem is a big issue for me, nothing makes me feel better than a compliment. Being in college isnt perfect, but its far better than high school. So I guess this random thought post of mine is about over. Thanks

Affirming thought: just being in college in the U.S. puts you in the stop few percent of the most educated people in the world.

[billycollege]

Affirming thought: just being in college in the U.S. puts you in the stop few percent of the most educated people in the world.

You just made my day! THANKS!!!!

[Gentleheart]

I'm so worried about Praxus.

I wish he would just log in or answer my PM from the other day, so we'll know he's alright.

...and I still see that he never signed in after this post.

I feel sick. I just hope he didn't hurt himself.

[Ichigofang16]

I think we coddle these new batch of kids too much, they are way too soft and I don't understand why. I'm not trying to be insensitive to their pain but there are better and more productive ways to deal with a problem then killing urself. I believe the natural response to some one hurting you is hurt them back. When a crowd of people bully you, sneak around and find other victims, band together and stand up as a unit of your own--strength in numbers.

Personally I believe that bullying is a natural way of setting up social roles and order, all creatures bully--animals do it and we do it too, it is a means to put all in there place. Boys seem to understand this instinctively --our bullying is a form of testing ones strength against another's and usually ends in respect or friendship if handled right (not counting gay factor, that depends on how much homophobia was programmed into the other party--thought it can easily be exploited). I've been on both sides of the fence....well the Bully--only those who picked on people I liked, and the victim--but I rarely stayed in that position and those who tried regretted it lol (nearly drowned my bully in the toilet and only let him go when he promised to leave me and my friends alone ).
Though the type of bullying that is leading to the most irreversible violence is the girl type of bullying, that relentless psychological assault that cuts u off socially and drives you insane...leave it to females to come up with a way to kill others with words smh over stupid shit.
K i'm ranting, but my point is that kids today don't seem to be trying to find ways to fight back--I don't expect hollywood level school revolutions but I do expect one to put up a fight and not wimp out and kill themselves or shoot up a school and kill innocents rather than the ones that actually hurt them. I know i sound sadistic but its a circle of unresolved evil with no justice, no lessons are being learned no strengths are being tested and the punks who bully believe they are untouchable until shit gets so real they are drowning in it.
I was at work and was watching this kid bully another I told him to stop and he literally asked me what I'm going to do about it I got in his face and whispered exactly what I'd do and sat back and watched the color drain from his face--this aint no message board bitch there is real world ass whoopings to be had out here...I digress but after I dealt with him I moved on to the kid he was bullying and talked him and told him to fight back and how to go about it 3 different ways to strike back. 2 weeks go by no problems.

My long winded point is this, instead of trying to rid the world of bullying...which is impossible...teach kids how to handle it themselves (no cop outs of tell an adult, teach them to stage a bully event in a public way--scream for help, be dramatic get attention and as the bully is freaking out and is caught--let him/her know that ur not afraid because you know how to deal with them.)

Bullying is a social teaching tool and can only be rectified by those of that social arena--the kids themselves, no outside interference--

[Ichigofang16]

Oh i didn't read everyones post, I didn't know someone on the forum was getting bullied. Don't cave man, stand up for yourself, find other victims band together, ect. but what ever you do do not take it out on urself, It may be bad now but if you struggle through it you'll see yourself the victor eventually

[frankfrank]

True, bullying IS more innate than we would like to admit. The whole concept of the "alpha-male" among dogs, lions, elephants, crocodiles, birds, rats, etc. is part of it.

I guess that bullying doesn't exist among extremely-highly-regimented species such as bees, but it probably exists in NEARLY all "higher orders" of animals. By "higher orders" I'm generally thinking of animals and critters that are at least large enough to see easily.

However, being the thinking and (hopefully) logical creatures which we are supposed to be, we have the tools to work our way past these natural traits.

[Daximus]

Hang in there Cupid. I've been there. It's not easy but it does get better.

[Kulindahr]

Really sick of living.

Really really sick of living.

I'm not feeling thrilled with it myself at the moment. But I've been here before, and I know one thing: this, too, shall pass.

[star-warrior]

Really sick of living.

Really really sick of living.

Hope you're ok Come back and let us know. Please!

[LilBit]

Jason, I don't know if you plan to come back, but I hope you know that there are people who care about you. Sending big hugs your way.

[Kulindahr]

Bender says he's taking a break --
http://www.justusboys.com/forum/thre...=1#post9356380

[Alistair]

Really sick of living.

Really really sick of living.

I hope you're okay Jason. You know I'm here when you need me. I hope you still have my email, contact me whenever you need to. I'm always here for you.

[dpnice]

I see he has returned. New account, Same name.

[Wojtek]

there are just plain evil people in this world i hope they die soon.. what to do about if someone does cyber bullying?

[dpnice]

there are just plain evil people in this world i hope they die soon.. what to do about if someone does cyber bullying?

Exactly what you have done; come here for a little support and advice.

But you need to give a little more information before any of us can make a helpful comment.

[88Jockstraps]

The idea and notion of 'turning the other cheek' is a lie.

Push back, as appropriately as you can, metaphorically at first, then literally and physically if need be and can be. No need to torture yourself by giving the other person a chance to hit you in the face.

[Kulindahr]

there are just plain evil people in this world i hope they die soon.. what to do about if someone does cyber bullying?

Exactly what you have done; come here for a little support and advice.

But you need to give a little more information before any of us can make a helpful comment.

Yes, there are plain evil people -- and dp is right.

Meanwhile, welcome, and hope to hear from you again.

[Kulindahr]

The idea and notion of 'turning the other cheek' is a lie.

Push back, as appropriately as you can, metaphorically at first, then literally and physically if need be and can be. No need to torture yourself by giving the other person a chance to hit you in the face.

For most people being bullied, yes, it's lousy advice. "Turn the other cheek" requires being in a position of solid confidence and decent strength -- neither of which I would apply to myself for the periods when I would have been in need of help.

So basically, if you feel at all you need help, don't turn the other cheek: either depart the situation or resist in some way.

[88Jockstraps]

For most people being bullied, yes, it's lousy advice. "Turn the other cheek" requires being in a position of solid confidence and decent strength -- neither of which I would apply to myself for the periods when I would have been in need of help.

So basically, if you feel at all you need help, don't turn the other cheek: either depart the situation or resist in some way.

I do look at it as a metaphor than anything else. To me, it means be as nice as you can.

[JPGhost]

Some folks try to bully my english- just standing tall here ^^

[JPGhost]

Sometimes I wonder though..if people pay attention; I never knocking someone's door and assault them personally or trying to find their weakness, but very often some low lifes do that to me? Should I turn like them? To be appear strong?

I dont think so, keep doing the Jesus way . Sometimes I wonder though..why people try to put others down for their own amusement? Like I said, I dont have that character and I dont want to know..^^ and I dont even want to spend my time trying to figure it out why some people love being assholes.

[88Jockstraps]

Some folks try to bully my english- just standing tall here ^^

Your English is fine to me.

[FGordon]

who are the people or organizations that donate the most for stuff to help the bullied?im over 60 i was bashed -sick of mean people--there should be drop in centers in every town--create a list of those places or churches