Are you shy? Is it hard for you to connect with anyone?

[sb]

The only times I come across shy is when there isn't anybody worth talking to.

 

[RenaissanceMan]

Caring for Your Introvert
http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200303/rauch

It's not a lifestyle. It's an orientation.

Great, at least this is more obvious than my other kinds of orientations.

I'm shy but definitely not anti-social. In the right company, I can usually "chat up a storm" or at the very least, ramble on about everything I can (some people find this a good thing, others not so much).

Unfortunately my shyness stops me from getting on with my usual self early enough sometimes when dealing with people.

Most people also get the wrong impression about me. Some think I'm just shy and will stay like that forever, others think I'm arrogant...if they give me a chance, they usually find out neither is the case (and we eventually have a conversation about it too).

 

[marcde]

Trust me...I am shy. It's easier for me to type than to talk. LOL
I always get nervous. When that happens I either clam up or talk alot and then get embarassed. I don't know how to really start a conversation and I think I bore people. I don't really have a way with words until I really get to know people well. I don't have the confidence to go and talk to people either. So there. I think that's why I have no friends. LOL

No friends??? -

 

[Pegasus69]

It isn't so much that I am shy, but I do tend to "watch" and observe. At the job that I had at the airline my manager and the senior agent both told me, upon my become the assistant station manager, that they did not think I was going to make it there because I was too quiet. I told them I wasn't being quiet, I was sizing everyone up, learning who was who and who to avoid. I find that I do that in most settings with many new people.

 

[slobone]

Trust me...I am shy. It's easier for me to type than to talk. LOL
I always get nervous. When that happens I either clam up or talk alot and then get embarassed. I don't know how to really start a conversation and I think I bore people. I don't really have a way with words until I really get to know people well. I don't have the confidence to go and talk to people either. So there. I think that's why I have no friends. LOL

I won't try to contradict you Elvin, because you obviously know your own situation in life better than anyone else does. But I can make a couple of generalizations.

One is that we often don't see ourselves as others see us. Where you think you're shy, other people may be saying "Elvin is such a good listener."

The other, which is both good news and bad news, is that most people spend about 90% of their time, or more, thinking about themselves and the rest divided among their many friends and acquaintances.

So if you're at a social gathering, and later you think you made a bad impression because you talked too much or clammed up, what people are actually thinking afterward is, "I shouldn't have had so much of that potato salad. It looked like it had been sitting out in the sun all day."

 

[Just_Believe18]

I have a bit of a shy streak that I still struggle with now and then. Its sort of easy just to sit by and let time to cultivate friendships go, but I work to keep regular contact with everyone I know and to make it an effort to break out of my shell.

 

[EveretteB1975]

I am also very shy. I dont have much gay friends. I have one friend that lives in italy, and one live in michigan. We email each other all the time. But i am to shy for words. I really didn't have any friends when i was in high school. I was such a loner this depresses me all the time.

I dink alcohol every weekend. I know this is not the answer. To me it helps. when i drink booze it makes me more open and less shy. I just cant explain it.

Thats my sad story

 

[theatreboi]

^no, most gay guys are not shy. Most gay guys who spend their time at home on the computer are shy, that's to be expected.

yeah...don't take that the wrong way, but it's true.

 

[spooger]

i have many very good friends, and i am not shy at all....i love to meet people from all over the world and engage them in conversation....about anything...

having said that, however, i will say ..... i am solo (6 years now) and i find it difficult to engage people on a purely PERSONAL or intimate level.....i just don't seem to get into looking around for a partner....even though i would love to meet a special friend....i'm stand-offish about that...

but publically i have no problem....what's up with that????

 

[cliffified]

i got low self-esteem,shy and low confidence--people think i am arrogant..whih makes me feel more like shit.
my friends are countable and majority of them are girls who dunno that i'm gay..
sonner or later..i am going to become a queen.

 

[frost_bite]

I'm not sure if its soo much that I'm shy but more so that I sometimes feel ackward just because i'm tall and skinny and for better or worse, I stand out so naturally I want to put my best image out there.

 

[alister9669]

I'm very shy in person. It even took me a couple months before I'd start responding on the forum here. Most of my close friends joke about it, they always laugh about how hard it is to get me to talk and when I finally do they can't get me to shut up.