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About andymike

Basic Information

Date of Birth
August 12
About andymike
Fort Lauderdale
State / Province:
Area Code - United States and Canada Residents:
Are you out?:
I'm totally out.


Lord, please pray for the soul of this beyotch and guide my pimp hand and make it strong Lord, so that she might learn a ho's place. Amen.


Total Posts
Total Posts
Posts Per Day
General Information
Last Activity
July 27th, 2011 02:22 PM
Join Date
January 14th, 2005
View andymike's Blog

Recent Entries

You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if ...

by andymike on July 19th, 2005 at 11:28 AM
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if ... the finance committee
refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none
of the members knows how to play one.

You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if ... people ask, when they
learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or
catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.

You Know Your Church is A Redneck Church if ... when the pastor

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Chocolate math

by andymike on June 7th, 2005 at 11:38 AM
It takes less than a minute. Work this out as you read. Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've worked it out!

1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to have chocolate. (More than once but less than 10.)

2. Multiply this number by 2 (Just to be bold)...

3. Add 5. (For Sunday)

4. Multiply it by 50 I'll wait while you get the calculator...

5. If you have already had your birthday this year

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Tech Support

by andymike on June 4th, 2005 at 02:43 PM
Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon notice that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity --applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5 and Racing 3.6. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications.

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A cowboy walks into a bar

by andymike on June 3rd, 2005 at 06:22 AM
A cowboy walks into a bar and two steps in, he realizes it's a gay bar. "What the heck," he says to himself, "I really want a drink."

When the gay bartender approaches, he says to the cowboy, "What's the name of your willy?" The cowboy says,"Look, I' m not into any of that. All I want is a drink."

The gay bartender says, "I'm sorry but I can't serve you until you tell me the name of your willy. Mine for instance is called

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For those of you who thought you knew everything

by andymike on May 4th, 2005 at 02:36 PM
The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for blood plasma.

No piece of paper can be folded in half more than seven (7) times.

Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.

You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.

Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty (50) years of age or older.

The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.


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