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About jamie_01930

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Date of Birth
July 13
About jamie_01930
near Boston
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I'm totally out.


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October 18th, 2010 09:54 AM
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June 12th, 2004
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Recent Entries

There is a Reason for Everything

by jamie_01930 on September 1st, 2010 at 02:05 AM
I have gone from a deep depression and attempted suicide b/c I knew I was gay and didn't think I could live being out. What would people think and say.

My wife left me after I told her that I was gay. I wanted to be the person to tell her rather than she would hear it through rumors that I was seen in a gay bar. We were married for 35 years+/-. Adopted two babies a boy then a girl and watched and felt them grow with us into a family.
When the wife left me so did the kids/adults

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The darkness of July and August

by jamie_01930 on July 21st, 2010 at 03:45 AM
July is the month that my partner was coming to the end of his life and the 3rd of August,,2008 was our last day together as partners in life... how I miss you xoxoxo

Still in love..............

by jamie_01930 on May 17th, 2009 at 01:57 AM
My partner died in Aug 2008 and just before he died he told me to go out and enjoy the gay life style.

As much as I try to do that, I can't as I am still in love with him.

Five days after he died I woke up in a hospital from a drug overdose. It was my attempt to be with him. However He is there and I am still here. Guess I will have to wait for my body to give out naturally.

Our relationship wasn't based on sex , but a whole lot of love.

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life after a partner passes Chapter 5 , Part 2

by jamie_01930 on October 4th, 2008 at 06:45 PM
Okay Bob has been gone 2 months and not much has changed. i sit and cry, I lie down and I cry just not continuous.

Might sound crazy but I talk to him often during the day. I have his picture under my pillow and place my hand on it every night and go to sleep.
I see my shrink a lot more often but always honest as to what I have been thinking and wanting to do. Not sure about that one.

I know that Bob would not approve and as I have learned from a post here, I would

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the end of one chapter and the start of another

by jamie_01930 on August 5th, 2008 at 05:25 PM
Bob,my partner of four years died august 3,'08.
From the time we got the word, there was no question wether I would be there for him or not. I stayed by his side 24/7 and loved every minute of it. It was all that I could do for him.

I found some good in myself that I didn't know I had.

As many times he would say, go out and have a gay time. I stayed with him and never went out with the desire to hook up. The door was wide open but i never used it.

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