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i'm watching these documentaries about crime, criminals and stuff.

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you know, i was watching msnbc lockup yesterday with the lexington, kentucky county jail. there was one inmate there that really got me angry. it was a woman that beat her mother up and burned her with a curling iron. she knocked her two front teeth out. when i heard that shit and saw that she had no remorse or whatever, i was heated. now, i don't know what the household was like, if the mother had abused her when she was a child or whatever could have played a part to make her do that BUT i was getting pissed at the fact that she laid hands on her mother and treated her like that. i also wasn't feeling the way she treated her daughter as if she was a coat. she was like "my daughter better come over there and give put money in my account so i can get stuff with it". when she was talking with her daughter, it seemed like she was focusing on herself and only herself. there seemed to be one form of care for the daughter. now to me, the woman is no doubt a sociopath at least to me. she didn't give a fuck about anybody besides herself. it just bothered me to see that she would fuck over her family like that.

when she was in court to get her sentence, she tried to walk in the court talking about she was a devoted muslim, came in the court room with the robe and everything basically trying to put on an act that she had changed or was a better person. that got me heated just seeing that shit. then when the mother went up to the judge and expressed herself. i felt bad for her. she was basically crying talking about what her own daughter did to her and i feel her pain. like i could see myself in her shoes where i could envision myself keeping my daughter, don't have one by the way, at home, she doesn't care and then all of a sudden, she gets mad and beats me up. like that is fucked up. man, if i was the judge, i'd give her ass 10 years in prison. beating up on your mother like that. fucking crazy.

now i'm watching this other documentary and i can't imagine or wonder how a man, woman or whoever could fucking molest or rape kids. like i see this guy talking about how he basically was scared for his life when he heard his stepdad come home. his stepdad would beat, talk down and sexually abuse him and his siblings. man, the whole thing just makes me cringe at how someone could do that to a kid or anybody for that matter. you know, i hear some people trying to sympathize with pedophiles saying that they didn't chose to be that. you know, the same thing could be said about sociopaths. no one choses to be who they are. however, if what they are is a risk to the general public, then they should be dealt with as such.

i think the more disturbing part about this is you never know who's who. it could be the same person you think highly of that turns out to be someone messed up.

however, as much as some people's actions and mindstates are cringeworthy and frightening as they put lives at risk, i don't hate them. i don't hate anybody. i feel sorry for them. i disagree with the whole "we should hang them, kill them or whatever". that's not up to me to decide if they live or die. if they put someone's life in danger where they have to deal with in that fashion then okay but other than that, it's not up to me.

just had to get that out my head real quick.