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Sex and fun

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This will sound crazy to just about everyone who hasn't read my blog entries:

a few nights ago, for the first time in my life I experienced a moment when sex was fun -- not duty, not being dominated by lust, not pain, but just fun.

In the midst of dealing with my brother dying, I can't tell how I feel about that. That night it was astounding to me, and briefly I was giddy about it; now I'm wondering if it's even worth remembering, because I doubt it will ever happen again.