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  1. paganzak's Avatar
    I don't think your venting was long, lamenting, tedious, blabber, or whining! You were just stating the facts as you see them and who cares if those facts point out negative aspects! We all need to vent every so often (and sometimes that venting is about some people that you would normally use to listen to your rants and raves)!

    It sounds like you're a doctor and you are in this situation because you want to be someone who helps others. The situation you are in truly sucks! The feelings of your countrymen seem insurmountable, but I think that you might be able to gradually change that (with friends in the news industry). Talk them into highlighting the situation and bad attitudes of people towards medical care providers. It might make things better until you can make the changes you talk about in some of your other posts. For right now, you have to make the best of a difficult situation. You sound like a pillar of strength and a great example of a caring individual (who just happens to be gay).

    I hope that you are soon able to set your plans in motion for the move and changes you would like to make. How long have you committed to serve in this rural area?
  2. dpnice's Avatar
    Obviously it is difficult to comment due to the differences in cultures; I for one have no real experience of the conditions and obligations in other countries.

    But I have always understood that in the western world young doctors always had difficult working conditions, long hours and low salaries just after leaving university. Seems unfair some how.

    Hang in there though and plan your means of "escaping" to the USA in the future.

  3. ruivinho's Avatar
    I have no idea of what must be to be in your situation, but I've often wondered what I would do in such a case. Depending on how old you are, could you maybe gather some money to go abroad? There are many gay-friendly places in the world, and to be honest, I think being condemned by discrimination and a false life is a price too high to pay to be closer to other people we love (even if they're our own family). I really hope you are able to go and live somewhere else. All the best
  4. freefall's Avatar
    Then another loveless marriage, hooray. And it's already difficult enough finding non-sexual homosexual friends when you're out let alone when you're in.
  5. zoltanspawn's Avatar
    If you don't move abroad, could you marry a lesbian? Is that sort of thing possible in Indonesia? You might then find a loving relationship, and still enjoy a measure of fulfilling sexual autonomy outside of your marriage.
  6. sixthson's Avatar
    Aren't you doing your medical residency/training? You are feeling pretty normal for such a time in your life, I would say.
  7. dpnice's Avatar
    It is good that you are not feeling suicidal but it is obvious that you are not enjoying your life either.

    I am certain that you must realise that the only way to improve things is to make the change yourself. So stop everything and do just one thing for yourself, something to give you pleasure and try to do something a little different each day.

    Life is not easy but it can be quite pleasant at times. Don't give up, hang in there.

  8. freefall's Avatar
    No, Vixen, I'm not. I just decided I must not sulk for too long the only thing which will make me self-delete/leave is if this web is banned in my country. Let's hope that day will never come
  9. redfox70's Avatar
    By that last line it sounds like you're thinking of leaving us. Please say it ain't so
  10. kaz11711's Avatar
    I can relate. I've tried everything to enduce creativity, but it's just not there for me any more.