Quickies with Brandon and Angel Dec08 Article

Articles - December 2008:

Quickies with Brandon and Angel Dec08
Oct 24, 2008 | By: Admin

Brandon: I always go first. I like it that way. It’s cause I am older… and wiser. That’s probably pushing it, but can we go with it? This issue we’re supposed to talk about our favorite gay movies. Does that mean porn? We always talk about porn.

Angel: No hon, I think we’re supposed to talk about mainstream gay movies.

Brandon: OH! Well, then I think the readers should check out a film called Britney, Baby, One More Time! which stars, well, YOU! That shit was hilarious!

Angel: Why thank you, sugar! I’m glad you liked it. It certainly was a fun movie to make. I’m a big fan of drag queen movies like To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything, Julie Newmar! or The Adventures Of Priscilla, Queen Of The Desert.

Brandon: Mommie Dearest and Steel Magnolias should be on every gay card too, don’t you think?

Angel: Ha. I don’t think that’s what they meant by gay movies, but in that case, you can’t leave out the quintessential gay camp classic Showgirls!

Brandon: Oh geez… not so much if you ask me. That movie sucked. Now there is a whole new era in gay movies like Another Gay Sequel and RuPaul’s cheerleader movie. I cheer for that.

Angel: When the fuck are WE getting OUR own movie?

Brandon: I don’t think the world is ready for that yet.

Angel: I suppose we should do some talking about porn this month. Lately, I have been really feeling the suit-and-tie fetish sites like MenAtPlay.com and MenHardAtWork.com. Seeing a hot guy like Trevor Knight in a suit and tie really turns my crank. You probably hate those sites though, because you have an unnatural fear of black socks.

Brandon: You are so not joking. It’s crazy. Dark socks freak me out. Keep them away from me. It’s like vampires and garlic, they are scary. One keeps the other away. If it’s an unnatural idea we have here, it’s an unnatural addiction to porn that I have. I can’t get enough of it. Frat boys, big boys, fetish boys, pretty boys, hairy boys, pissing boys, uncut boys, I want them all.

Angel: Well, it would make sense then that you have the same attitude toward boys that you do toward the buffets in Vegas. I’m kidding! You know I love you more than I love my luggage.

Brandon: I don’t need to go to Las Vegas to eat or to gamble. In fact, it’s a big enough gamble being friends with you!

Angel: You’re so sweet…just like gunpowder. Ooh, you know what else is really hot right now? DILFs. People are going crazy online for hot daddies.

Brandon: What the hell is a DILF? It sounds like a Muppet.

Angel: It means “Dads I’d Like to Fuck”… like Brad Pitt. Yum!

Angel: Moving on to Earth-shaking news, can you believe that Clay Aiken is gay?? I am shocked!.... (bursts out laughing) Sorry, even I couldn’t say that with a straight face.

Brandon: I always harbor this feeling that if people say something, they mean it. I should know better, but I want to believe people when they take the time to say something with their own breath. Know what I mean? I always say stuff that ummm… stretches the truth, but it’s always based off the truth. I guess he might not have been lying when he said, “I wasn’t gay”… if he meant the one time he knew which side the guys on the football field should have been running. I mean, did you know they change the sides they run toward halfway though the game? It’s really straight to know that.

Angel: Are you being serious right now? Babe, he is this generation’s answer to Liberace. How the hell could you not know he was gay? Helen Keller knew he was gay!

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