Just wanted to mention, the two I spoke of were together for 18 years before the older fellow passed away after a two year illness.
Just wanted to mention, the two I spoke of were together for 18 years before the older fellow passed away after a two year illness.
That's a pretty long time. I can see why the younger one was devastated and unsure of any relationship after that.
However, consider that everyone deals with death in their own ways and differently. Also some people do "cling" to a relationship and some people either get in relationships that don't make them strong and make them dependent. So if someone gets into that kind of relationship it's obvious that if the other dies than the dependant one will suffer the most.
However, with that being said it is also a great loss and understandable if the person doesn't date again or is nervous about getting into another relationship. But again I think it all depends on the relationship.
I know some people in Daddy/son relationships and some go well and others don't.
Any young people who want to explore feelings for an older man are welcome to hit me up. I just love young guys of all ages, but especially 18 - 25 or so, with a special fondness for twinks and Asians, but if you are young, male, and horny, I'm interested and ready to be friendly.
I like what my friend said about his partner (20 yrs older)...
I love it when they whimper in bed as they are coming.
I personally only like guys 40+. I'm seeing somebody in his 50s. It is really hard to explain why i like older, but they are just really really hot to me. I think it may have something to do with their masculinity and maturity. Something about that just turns me on. I love a masculine older hairy daddy!
Sorry for my English, too. It is my second language, and I am still learning it.
I've always been attracted to older men and I feel bad about it for many reasons, for reasons behind what has already been mentioned--not being able to spend "all" of life together (assuming we all live to our maximum "natural" age )--as well as moral issues (I'm not saying it's wrong, but I think I'd feel guilty if I were in that kind of relationship as there's no way I can offer as much that the older partner can offer to me, as well as the feeling that I'm being judged by some higher power).
The problem is, I'm attracted ONLY to older men. I've never been in a relationship with one (or anyone for that matter since I'm not interested in anyone else really ), so it really is a unique position to be in.
I don't know why exactly I am attracted to older men; I can tell you though it's definitely not because of money or social status (unless I'm lying to myself ). I think they are physically delectable and such a pleasure to talk to--it's always great getting insight from an older person--and being able to relate to them is THAT much cooler!
This topic used to make me really depressed, but luckily I'm so busy with college and focusing on starting up a career that I've had little to no time to think--or even care--about it much anymore. I think it's almost petty of me to be attracted to just older men. I guess my way of coping with this was just to rearrange my priorities in life. Life can be beautiful without a partner too ya know
I have a question...have any of you who are only attracted to older guys tried to imagine how your attractions to men would be when you're older?
For instance, I'm usually attracted to only men between 45-70. I've tried to imagine if I'd be attracted to that age range if I'm say--80? I really don't know..
Hi, I'm 23 (soon to be 24) and just started dating this amazing older man for just over a month so far. The fun thing is that we've known each other for a year and a half now but I was dating someone up until recently. He's 53, and while there is a 30 year age difference, after a week being with him I forget how different we are in age. While in the past i've always dated guys around my own age, I have always had an attraction to older men but have been too afraid to act on my feelings and desires. Now that I have, I feel complete. He's just so different than other guys i know or have tried to date who are around my age.
As i've said, I have know him for over a year before we started dating. The funny thing is that we have both been attracted to each other from the first moment. My ex and I would occasionally come out to his lake house to party and hangout, and apparently one night I had a little too much to drink ( i say a little, but i don't even remember this story as he was telling me last week), but I was standing in his kitchen, it was only dimly lit since everyone was out on the porch drinking, and before i knew it he was across the way talking with me and we chatted for a while. Then my boyfriend came in (drunk as well) and told him that i looked cold there with my shirt off and if he wouldn't mind keeping me warm [insert big smile here]. But as he got closer he felt my chest, my abs, and just stopped short of my pants. My boyfriend had stumbled off and then it was just the 2 of us. Regardless if i remember this all happening or not, i know that at that moment in time i had really wanted him to hold me. And as he told me this story the other day he said how much he wanted to kiss me but that i was with my ex at the time. But now we get to hold each other all day and all night long. It's just fun to think of all of the affection and desire that was only shared in intense eye contact before this last month or two.
Like many previous posts, the maturity level is definitely a factor in my attraction. The fact that he doesn't get steamed and angry, but rather remains calm, collected and talks things out with other people is a quality that i can't help but love. I have been in some pretty violent past relationships, but now i find myself at a point where life is too short to spend any part of it angry.
He's sweet, generous, ADORABLE, loves to cuddle, kiss, sexy, gray hair, semi-hairy chest...i just melt... And the best thing is that half the time we would rather lay on the couch intertwined and talk about life, philosophy, psychology, politics, the future, our feelings, anything and everything instead of having sex. To the both of us, it's the connection with another person that is the erotic experience. (Not going to lie, it's some of the hottest sex i've had in my life)
He's highly supportive of my education (i'm still in graduate school) and he always wants to make sure that i have enough time in the days that we are together to get my papers done or reading so that i don't get behind. I love to workout throughout the week and he's very supportive of my time that i need to be at the gym. Past boyfriends have dealt with my gym time as "choosing the gym over them." When in actuality, the gym was just there before you were in the picture and i have my routine in the week.
He's one person that i can just sit and do nothing with and not feel restless or bored and he's 30 years my senior...It's hard to explain and I know a lot of people won't understand in life, but we love who we love and can't help it.
I do have concerns about hiding this from my parents however. I have been out to them for 5 years and they finally came to a point that they are accepting, and now i'm dating someone who is...the same age as them...i think right now in my life, and my BF and i have discussed this at length, and perhaps this is a moment in my life where leaving out some details will allow for less drama in my life. After all at 24, it's my life and not theirs.
But yeah, older, to me equals better. At least in my current experience.
Oh man what a deep question. I'll do my best to answer!
Older men are extremely attractive because of numerous reasons. I think a lot of younger gay men (not all) have extremely bad relationships with their fathers. I personally had a very not so good one with my father and he would let me know about it physically. Anywho before I delve too much in my personal life the thing with older men is safety and security. I don't know who wrote earlier but there is NOTHING i repeat NOTHING better in this world than having an older man have his arms around you and silently whispering in your ear. I think we all go through stages in our lives where we need to be told it's ok and that we're safe. Older men provide that sense of security. A couple of other things that make me so attracted to them.
1. Their maturity level. Not physically but mentally. They aren't like guys who are in their twenties and cry about every little thing.
2. They can hold a decent conversation and respectfully disagree without making a deal about it.
3. They understand. They've been in your (my) shoes at some point in their life and they don't take offense to certain things that younger men would.
4. I don't think I really need to go on about how good they look.
5. They have their shit together in life and know what they want. There comes a time when a person transitions in life between partying/living it up and settling down and working. Now I'm not saying you are one or the other but people are often more so on one side of the spectrum than the other. Older men have their lives in order (most of the time) and have the stability that we want and crave so much.
6. Grey hair. Come on people. We all know we fucking love it.
A note to the older men:
I don't want to discourage you from anything online. What I'm about to say is NOT truthful of everyone so please don't take offense. A lot of younger men are quite confused in life and if they meet a man on the internet they are basing everything on lust. Things that normally you wouldn't stand for in real life might pass them by on the internet. I.E. if I'm pretending to be the younger, confused man and I'm chatting up an older man. He might say well I go to the gym two hours after work every day. Even though I might say oh thats cool great NOW if and when i meet or stay with this older man I might not like that. So you need to be careful and understand how different lust and love are. Young men who have just "came out" often are much more lustful. (Again, not everyone and do not rip me a new one over it).
Hope this is helpful to all!
I know exactly what you mean about having always liked old guys, not knowing why but still going crazy about them. I don't have any daddy-issues and I don't want to be dominated in a "wiser-than-you"-way. A certain type of daddy (or just say older guy) just turns me on.
I've thought about that so many times, trying to find out why that special kind of moustached/bearded daddies over 50 attract me. I couldn't figure it out.
BUT: That is just what I like. Like you can't ever REALLY explain why your favourite movie is the best movie ever made, although you know it for sure. Or why you like Heavy Metal better than HipHop. You just KNOW its right for you.
So far, we're level.
But you feel guilty about being younger than the partner. I don't think you need to, honestly.
These guys are just in the same position as we are: They're attracted to men of a different age. That's all.
You talk about FEELING BAD; BEING DEPRESSED; and even thinking about avoiding to have an older partner at all!!
Don't get yourself in there.That's not the way. As you already know Exactly what you like in men, it is just that final kick in the ass you need to give to yourself to move towards it. It was the same for me. After 5 years of contemplating I finally made a move and was successful at once. now I've been with my daddy for almost 7 yrs.
...And when I'm 80...??? (I hope I get that old)
I GUESS I still like the 60-year-olds, but who knows???
And, seriously, I don't give a fuck. Whatever I like, I like. It's like that now, and it will be like that in 48 years.
The important thing is:
BE TRUE TO YOURSELF.
YOU#re into daddies, go get yourself one.
Life's short, man!
Why would that be petty? What the hell is petty about an attraction to a kind of person? It should be pretty obvious to a gay man that you don't choose who you're attracted to. A lot of young gay guys are extremely unattractive, just in the way they live their lives; their demeanor; their attitudes. A lot of older guys are more down to earth and act like real people with real people problems.I think it's almost petty of me to be attracted to just older men. I guess my way of coping with this was just to rearrange my priorities in life.
I often thought about it when I first realized I only liked older guys. That was probably 4 or 5 years ago, and during this time I have learned to extend my range of who I can and can't find attractive. I can now respect that someone closer to my age IS attractive, in a 'oh you're kinda nice to look at mr pretty face' but it's never an attraction from me, you know? I think that I will always primarily be attracted to men in the 30-50ish ranges, although as I grow up and mature more I find that my standards are not quite so detailed. At heart though, I think your type is your type. Nothing to fret about.I have a question...have any of you who are only attracted to older guys tried to imagine how your attractions to men would be when you're older?
As ayoung bottom im into older tops because they are usually more dominant, are experienced and know what they want. They push your limits and arent into drama. Theres just also something sexy about submuitting myself to an older guy even though I have the body to be picky
In my case it is not just about older/younger but definitely dad/son. I actively look for a son as I never had a biological son... and so leading, teaching, educating are all important to me. Plus I get to fuck him which I would never do with a blood son!
For some of us, gray hair is a turn on, but there's more to it than that. Older guys are more likely to have a better sense of themselves--knowing who they are and what they want. When you're at peace with yourself, you make a better friend, lover, partner, etc. Older men tend to be more patient, mature, and accepting, whereas younger men often lean the other direction.
I live in a college town where guys are focused on finishing their degree, getting a job, making lots of money, etc. But when you get to that point in life when there are fewer years ahead of you than behind, your perspective changes. Limiting yourself to guys of a certain cock size, age, role in bed, or whatever no longer makes any sense.
I'm bored with most of the men-seeking-men ads on Craigslist and other hookup sites. You know the ones.....the guys in search of the perfect top, the perfect bottom, the perfect cock sucker, the perfect body, etc. The younger guys are usually fixated on finding someone in a certain age range, typically men close to their own age.
Regardless of the stated preference, by ignoring/avoiding particular categories of men, you end up not understanding what you're missing. The more narrow minded somebody is, the more likely you are to have a lousy experience with him, even if it's only a one night stand.
When I'm hot for a guy, I don't ask to see his birth certificate to make sure he passes inspection. If you find someone you're attracted to (whether he's older, younger, tall, short, hairy, smooth, or whatever), just go for it. Sometimes the best pairing happens when/where you least expect to find it. Think Brokeback Mountain.
I cant honestly say why I am attracted to older men, I just am. I have fantasized about older men since i was 13. At 18 I hooked up with one of my step dads friends and we have been together ever since, I am now 19. I know it hasn't been a super long time yet, but I love my Mr. Wonderful.
I agree with everything that's been said.
I hope to find a nice older man to love me someday.
I wish I knew! I just find them very, very attractive...
"Keep on dreamin' boy, cause when you stop dreamin' it's time to die." - Shannon Hoon
I'm an older guy who appreciates all you young guys who appreciate me.