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  1. #1
    grizzled
    smelter's Avatar
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    No Sex since 1955!

    No Sex Since 1955

    A crusty old US Army Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young, idealistic men in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.

    "Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?"

    "Negative, son. Just serious by nature."

    "The young man looked at his awards and decorations and said, "It looks like you have seen a lot of action."

    "Yes, in my time I've seen a lot of action."

    The young man, tired of trying to start up a conversation, said, "You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself."

    The Sergeant Major just stared at him in his serious manner.

    Finally the young man said, "You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?"

    "1955."

    "Well, there you are. You really need to chill out and quit taking everything so seriously! I mean, no sex since 1955! The young man took his hand and led him to a private room where he proceeded to "relax" the Sergeant Major several times.

    Afterwards, panting for breath, the young man leaned against his bare chest and said, "Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955!"

    The Sergeant Major, glancing at his watch, said in his matter-of-fact voice, "I hope not, it's only 2130 now."

  2. #2
    The_Pianist
    Guest

    Re: No Sex since 1955!

    I like it.

  3. #3

    Re: No Sex since 1955!

    hehe...

  4. #4
    coldsnowcat
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    Re: No Sex since 1955!

    Good one!

  5. #5
    jangluk
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    Re: No Sex since 1955!

    poor old bastard...!!

  6. #6
    Jy_Star
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    Re: No Sex since 1955!

    hahahaa, thats lovely... gotta send that one to my ex, lol

  7. #7
    WHO? dynk's Avatar
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    Re: No Sex since 1955!

    Now that was funny.
    The thing about quotes on the internet is you can not confirm their validity -Abraham Lincoln

  8. #8
    Hugs Cost For Free
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    Re: No Sex since 1955!

    Very good indeed!
    "Separate... Unique...

    Neither can exist without the other."

  9. #9
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    Re: No Sex since 1955!

    enjoyed it quite a bit, thanks!!
    "Maybe we're not supposed to be happy. Maybe gratitude has nothing to do with joy. Maybe being grateful means recognizing what you have for what it is. Appreciating small victories. Admiring the struggle it takes to simply be human. Maybe, we're thankful for the familiar things we know. And maybe we're thankful for the things we'll never know. At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing is reason enough to celebrate." -Grey's Anatomy

  10. #10
    JUB 10k Club
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    Re: No Sex since 1955!

    Quote Originally Posted by smelter44
    No Sex Since 1955

    A crusty old US Army Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young, idealistic men in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.

    "Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?"

    "Negative, son. Just serious by nature."

    "The young man looked at his awards and decorations and said, "It looks like you have seen a lot of action."

    "Yes, in my time I've seen a lot of action."

    The young man, tired of trying to start up a conversation, said, "You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself."

    The Sergeant Major just stared at him in his serious manner.

    Finally the young man said, "You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?"

    "1955."

    "Well, there you are. You really need to chill out and quit taking everything so seriously! I mean, no sex since 1955! The young man took his hand and led him to a private room where he proceeded to "relax" the Sergeant Major several times.

    Afterwards, panting for breath, the young man leaned against his bare chest and said, "Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955!"

    The Sergeant Major, glancing at his watch, said in his matter-of-fact voice, "I hope not, it's only 2130 now."


    Ever since my stint in the United States Coast Guard I've always used "military time." (Take the time after noon and add 12.)

    I didn't see that one coming!

    Love it! Love it!
    Never regret anything, because in that moment it's exactly what you wanted.

  11. #11
    In Memory of Shaun
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    Re: No Sex since 1955!




    Cute and clever. Nice job. I enjoyed that one.

    Now, the sad part of the joke is, if I just replaced the year, that joke would be oh so true.





  12. #12
    Friendly Fireman
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    Re: No Sex since 1955!

    Ha, ha, ha!! I was thinking if this guy could not have sex since 1955, I couldn't go from 19:55 hours either! (And it is only 21:13 now!)

  13. #13
    aww I wanted to explode looseliam's Avatar
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    Re: No Sex since 1955!

    I told that to my dad, an old Navy guy, sans the "he/him," he thought it was hilarious.

    Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day.
    Give a man religion, and he'll starve praying for a fish.

  14. #14
    TÍtu, coquin. C'est moi. b_o_n_n_i_e's Avatar
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    Re: No Sex since 1955!

    Haha, nice one!

  15. #15
    Ranting Ideologue! sparky95's Avatar
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    Re: No Sex since 1955!

    Excellent!

  16. #16
    Zero gravitas.
    Guest

    Re: No Sex since 1955!

    A few of my friends are getting a suprise in their e-mail.

  17. #17
    Agamemnon
    Guest

    Re: No Sex since 1955!

    I know a slight variation of that joke . . . . Researcher knocks on the door and a crusty old retired Major-General answers . . . . etc etc.

    Very funny!

    Thanks, smelter!

  18. #18
    Porn Star apt125's Avatar
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    Re: No Sex since 1955!

    I like it.

  19. #19
    Canuck rhymes with f*ck
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    Re: No Sex since 1955!

    I'm sure Tim 'The Toolman' Taylor is still trying to figure it out.

  20. #20
    Insanity v2.0 FirePhoenix's Avatar
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    Re: No Sex since 1955!

    That was funny.


  21. #21
    JUB Addicts kev's Avatar
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    Re: No Sex since 1955!

    I didn't see that one coming at all...great joke!

  22. #22
    Meeeoooowwww!! Pffffft!!!
    RationalLunacy's Avatar
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    Re: No Sex since 1955!

    "Don't ask -- don't tell time."

    Rational Lunacy's Facebook.

  23. #23
    Sex God skinIsIn's Avatar
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    Re: No Sex since 1955!

    So Clever....such wit.....love love love it!!

    If I'm ever in the messhall at either San Diego or Norfolk, I now have a second piece of humor up my sleeve. The other one bieng:

    There once was a barmaid, from Sale,
    on whose breasts were tattoed
    all the prices of ale.
    While on her behind,
    for the sake of the blind,
    was precisely the same, but in braille!

    "Dear Sexy Knickers,
    I don't half fancy you, meet me outside at five-thirty and we'll get it together!
    ...Get wha-?" --Mrs. Slocombe, AYBS?

  24. #24
    JUB Addict Ohiospeedo's Avatar
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    Re: No Sex since 1955!

    Good joke...heard it the straight way before. Where a woman asked the major...this way is better

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