JustUsBoys.com gay porn forum

logo

Page 3 of 38 FirstFirst ... 2348 ... LastLast
Results 101 to 150 of 1874
  1. #101

    Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

    Well...right now..my concern is...Why did he use your credit card? And why did you give him one...but since you did, and it was for emergencies...now he used it. It didn't sound like an emergency. What is he going to do about this?

  2. #102
    JUB Addict LostVegas's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Brooklyn
    Orientation
    Gay
    Posts
    1,003

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

    Quote Originally Posted by mike0501
    Well...right now..my concern is...Why did he use your credit card? And why did you give him one...but since you did, and it was for emergencies...now he used it. It didn't sound like an emergency. What is he going to do about this?
    Oh hes def gunna pay it back..hes just worried bout using up all his money..he had asked me prior to doing it if he could...but now the card is gone anyway..they have about 4100 dollars left as of now they have their first month there paid..they better get work soon, supposedly she has a job lined up as a teacher which I find odd because she doesnt even have her B.A. yet and I almost have my M.A. and couldnt find fast work out there..plus hes got no education after 10th grade..so Iim hoping he does ok..I can no longer help him financially, I have to hope hes does his best out there and focus on myelf in some aspecst now..BRIAN

  3. #103
    JUB Addict LostVegas's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Brooklyn
    Orientation
    Gay
    Posts
    1,003

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

    Hey it is about 5am here on the east coast in NYC..and Im just about to eat some breakfast and hit the shower..Just walked Dante and it is cooooooooooold out..going to leave round 530 to get the bus..public schools will always be open even if Nuclear war happens I suppose...anyway just wanted to say a quick good morning to my fellow JUBers and also to say thank you to all the people who have been readingthis and all the people just finding this thread...talk to you all in the afternoon..peace..Bri

  4. #104
    Optimist Eternal
    halubtsi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Ottawa
    Orientation
    Gay
    Posts
    1,638

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

    LV, I was gone for the weekend, but from the looks of your messages, you seem to be doing a lot better. Good for you man! (I normally use the word 'buddy' but since I know how much it means to you, I'll use 'man' instead).

    Enjoy the snow! I hope it stays until June. j/k.

  5. #105
    JUB Addict LostVegas's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Brooklyn
    Orientation
    Gay
    Posts
    1,003

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

    Hey guys..how is it going...I am a little sad tonight...


    I called my bro up...we went through our usual sh*t of how thing are not the same without each other...he said today hit him hard because him and his girl were driving down the strip looking for stuff to do and she said "Damn if Bri was here we wouldnt be driving around aimlessly, we would be in the mountains and shopping and looking at stuff.."..this kind of got him down...I tried to take his mind off of things and I told him bro, everything happens for a reason..and he goes "Bri you are sounding strong tonight and positive...Im getting more down now.."

    Me and my buddy are weird in a way...When one of us is down..it makes us more down if the other one sounds or is more positive...I guess it makes us feel that no one is in our depression with us....something which we both have acknowledged as a problem but also something we laugh at...

    I told him I am taking things day by day and that school is taking stuff off my mind and that it only really hits me at night now...I asked him what he and his girl were up to..hoping to change the topic for a few.and he said they got free tickets to see a show at the Wynn Hotel later tonight and I said cool...and he goes "no..not cool..I feel bad even doing these things without you..you should be here" I told him that was silly and that he needs to live his life and have fun...

    Boy was I jealous and sad ...maybe that they were having a good time...or possible maybe that they will learn to have a great time even when I am not there....I asked what hes doing for work and he said that some guy saw his license plate(still NY plates) and struck up a conversation with him about his real estate business..and that the guy gave him his card....See..my buddy has ALWAYS been the type of person to have luck and it doesnt hurt that he talks to everyone..hes got a great personality....I was always jealous of this...Im human and I freely admit the emotions and feelings that come along with that..we had always talked of doing real estate together and this news just made me sad and in a way hoping he doesnt do it...I know..I sound like a bad friend...but maybe Im just writing out of jealousy and sadness...I mean your not supposed to be jealous of your bet friends right????? I feel so bad for writing this but at the same time its the only way I know to get things out of my system...

    We hung up with him saying "can I call you tonight?" and I said "sure" and we left it at that...

    I guess I am feeling left out of things..I guess hes living the life that I always pictured myself having and now thats delayed for me and hes moving on..maybe Im jealous of her..and what she has...and who she has...I do not know...do not crucify me here..Im just human..going through the motions..and emotions....talk to you guys soon, maybe tonight after I hear from him..peace..brian

  6. #106

    Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

    ^No one's going to crucify you. It's not wrong having certain feelings as long as you don't act on them I guess. But you've been strong and a good person. You have strenghtened you friend and his gf's relationship when you could have verywell destroyed it. You're a good person and no one is going to crucify you for feeling a little jealous. Who doesn't at times.

  7. #107

    Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

    ^ Totally in agreeance. No one is going to crucify you for being jealous for having the emotions you're experiencing. It's human nature to have those feelings.

    The fact that you and you're best friend talk on a daily basis is amazing and the way you verbalize your emotions with each other is . Glad to hear you've coped better without your friend and that you're helping him with the process of missing you too badly. Have fun too! (Although with the snow.. ) No one is going to crucify you for having your own fun either

  8. #108
    JUB Addict LostVegas's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Brooklyn
    Orientation
    Gay
    Posts
    1,003

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

    Hey..just got woken up with a phone call from my buddy they said they saw Avenue Q at the Wynn and that they ar staying there one night free of charge because of a guy they knew gave them a comp for the night for Valentine's Day.. I feel like life and everyone I care for is moving on without me...my buddy calls me every Valentines because he knows I am not with anybody and he always felt bad that I was spending it alone...tomorrow will be hard on me...I cried when I hung up the phone with him...it is hard to focus and go on here, it really is..I feel very lost and very empty...and Im finding it hard not to dump everything here and just go there now..but that would mean adbruptly quitting my job and bailing out of my Masters program...alot to lose right? but somehow when I think of being near by buddy, all that doesn't really matter and seem so big..Im so lost..

  9. #109
    JUB Addict LostVegas's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Brooklyn
    Orientation
    Gay
    Posts
    1,003

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

    I had to write to you guys...I do no think I am holding up well...I do not think I am feeling all that good..in fact I know I am not..I cant get back to bed, Im in such a deep depression..I feel all alone..I am missing him so much that it literally hurts my gut...I know you guys have written great advice and i know some of you will keep telling me it will get better and to focus on me here and keep busy...but I cant..Im falling apart..I feel like a house thats built on quicksand..the foundation is very weak..I feel like I have been putting up a front and ignoring my feelings and that tonight my true feelings are hitting me...I hate depression and would not wish it on anyone..I figure after I told my bro that Im out that my depression would go away..it didnt...and my bro thought by going out there he'd be totally happy..hes not...I think we both miss each other on such an astronomical level that it cant be described...I miss his smile and his presence...anyway lata bri

  10. #110
    HUGS! ;-)
    Kyanimal's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    Milwaukee
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Open Relationship
    Posts
    18,126

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

    All things happen in their own sweet time, and, I believe, for their own reasons. Though "You Guys" may be (physically) apart, for the time being, it does NOT mean your "Connection" has been broken! In fact, this "period" may serve to bring you closer together, in your realizations of what you both mean to each other, through your absences!

    An analogy, for your relationship, thus far, may be a strong rolling River, rushing downstream at exhilerating speeds. There have been Water Falls, Rapids, times of rolling, smooth, "Sailing", Languid Pools, and those stretches of Strong Currents roiling beneath a Calm Surface. And, now, you are each following separate, yet PARALLEL, courses, but still within "sight" of each other.

    Your "River" has been (temporarily) split by Present, Practical, Obstacles, but with the Knowledge that your individual "Streams" shall rejoin further along the Course of Time. (A Knowledge that is not always that certain in most other "Divided Relationships"!)

    And, now, eventhough you are each still aware of what the other is experiencing, coping with, it is also Important that you keep an eye on YOUR Present Course! You will each be going through your own periods of "White Water", so it is now Critical that you also concentrate on your own Navigation! Keep your focus on your (mutual) goals, though separate just for Now, and arrive at that Rejoining, in the best shape possible, to continue that Reformed, Co-mingled, "River", again, rushing downstream Together!

    I'm quite familiar with Depression. It can lead you into "false" directions. Resist the best you can! There IS a Point to Aim For!! Focus on that Most Worthwhile Goal! Do what you must, each, and every, day with that Purpose in mind! Positive DETERMINATION! The TIME shall pass quickly! Have No Doubt that you SHALL arrive there! The only question is how Well you will DO it!

    Easy? Hell No! Worth it? Hell YES!! And you have a Tremendous "Pool of Strength" to draw from! You can find it through your Faith in, Trust of, and Love for Your Friend! And ... your own inner desire to accomplish The Best you possibly can for Yourself AND Him! Afterall, who better Deserves a Happy, Confident, Accomplished Brian than Your "Bud"?? (Beside YOU, that is!)

    I'm wishing YOU The Very Best!! Take Good Care, Man!!!

    And, of course (Seriously!) ...

    Keep smilin'!!
    Chaz
    WISDOM is the Knowledge you've gained ... After you could have used it! _Me

  11. #111
    Bammer's Papa
    Kulindahr's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    on the foggy, damp, redneck Oregon coast
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Bisexual
    Status
    Single
    Posts
    104,476
    Blog Entries
    78

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

    Quote Originally Posted by LostVegas
    I had to write to you guys...I do no think I am holding up well...I do not think I am feeling all that good..in fact I know I am not..I cant get back to bed, Im in such a deep depression..I feel all alone..I am missing him so much that it literally hurts my gut...I know you guys have written great advice and i know some of you will keep telling me it will get better and to focus on me here and keep busy...but I cant..Im falling apart..I feel like a house thats built on quicksand..the foundation is very weak..I feel like I have been putting up a front and ignoring my feelings and that tonight my true feelings are hitting me...I hate depression and would not wish it on anyone..I figure after I told my bro that Im out that my depression would go away..it didnt...and my bro thought by going out there he'd be totally happy..hes not...I think we both miss each other on such an astronomical level that it cant be described...I miss his smile and his presence...anyway lata bri


    Took me three tries to get myself to respond here -- that hits so close to home I can't stop the tears. If I could reach out and turn it off for you....
    Loneliness intense enough to make your gut hurt isn't funny. I get chest pains, constricted breathing, rashes... and the doc pegs it to the loneliness. That probably won't make you feel better, but, well, know that I understand and that it isn't "all in your head".

    There aren't any easy ways. Like my doc tells me, we can talk all I want, but the solution is buddies to fiull the hole -- in your case, that might just mean somehow being together with your best bud for a while. My first thought is, what's a round-trip to Vegas costs these days?

    "Thirty-one* states allow all qualified citizens to carry concealed weapons. In those states, homosexuals should embark on organized efforts to become comfortable with guns, learn to use them safely and carry them. They should set up Pink Pistols task forces, sponsor shooting courses and help homosexuals get licensed to carry. And they should do it in a way that gets as much publicity as possible. "

    --Jonathan Rauch, Salon Magazine, March 13, 2000

    *the number is now forty

  12. #112
    JUB Addict LostVegas's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Brooklyn
    Orientation
    Gay
    Posts
    1,003

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

    Hey guys...just got home and wishing for those who who are with someone or are seeing someone....Happy Valentines Day...and for those in my boat...try and watch a cool movie or lose yourself in some songs..and know Im right there in the same boat with you...



    When youíre standing on the edge of no where
    Thereís only one way up so your heartís got to go there
    Through the darkest nights
    You see the light shine bright
    When heroes fall in love or war they live forever

    Though love donít need a reason
    She can pick you up or leave you bleeding
    Iíve seen a strong man cry
    I know the reason why
    We all forgive, we all forget
    We just keep believing

    This is a song for the lonely, can you hear me tonight?
    For the broken hearted, battle scarred
    Iíll be by your side
    And this is a song for the lonely
    When your dreams wonít come true
    Can you hear this prayer
    Because someoneís there for you

  13. #113
    Bammer's Papa
    Kulindahr's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    on the foggy, damp, redneck Oregon coast
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Bisexual
    Status
    Single
    Posts
    104,476
    Blog Entries
    78

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

    Quote Originally Posted by LostVegas
    Hey guys...just got home and wishing for those who who are with someone or are seeing someone....Happy Valentines Day...and for those in my boat...try and watch a cool movie or lose yourself in some songs..and know Im right there in the same boat with you...



    When youíre standing on the edge of no where
    Thereís only one way up so your heartís got to go there
    Through the darkest nights
    You see the light shine bright
    When heroes fall in love or war they live forever

    Though love donít need a reason
    She can pick you up or leave you bleeding
    Iíve seen a strong man cry
    I know the reason why
    We all forgive, we all forget
    We just keep believing

    This is a song for the lonely, can you hear me tonight?
    For the broken hearted, battle scarred
    Iíll be by your side
    And this is a song for the lonely
    When your dreams wonít come true
    Can you hear this prayer
    Because someoneís there for you

    Thank you, immeasurably much.

    "Thirty-one* states allow all qualified citizens to carry concealed weapons. In those states, homosexuals should embark on organized efforts to become comfortable with guns, learn to use them safely and carry them. They should set up Pink Pistols task forces, sponsor shooting courses and help homosexuals get licensed to carry. And they should do it in a way that gets as much publicity as possible. "

    --Jonathan Rauch, Salon Magazine, March 13, 2000

    *the number is now forty

  14. #114
    JUB Addict LostVegas's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Brooklyn
    Orientation
    Gay
    Posts
    1,003

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

    Hey guys so many songs can sum up what Im going through..here are two more..talk to you all later..


    Boulevard of Broken Dreams...

    My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
    My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
    Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
    'Til then I walk alone....



    Incomplete...

    Empty spaces fill me up with holes
    Distant faces with no place left to go
    Without you within me I can't find no rest
    Where I'm going is anybody's guess

    I've tried to go on like I never knew you
    I'm awake but my world is half asleep
    I pray for this heart to be unbroken
    But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete

    Voices tell me I should carry on
    But I am swimming in an ocean all alone
    Baby, my baby
    It's written on your face
    You still wonder if we made a big mistake

    I've tried to go on like I never knew you
    I'm awake but my world is half asleep
    I pray for this heart to be unbroken
    But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete

  15. #115

    Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

    Hi Lost Vegas, I want you to know that I've been reading your thread since the first day, but I haven't had much time to respond. I finally got caught up with the last several days tonight.

    Wow, man. What an ordeal you've gone through!

    I have a couple of questions, though, and I'm sorry (in advance) if I didn't get all the details you wrote in your notes.

    Your best friend who's in Las Vegas...why did he go there? He seems to miss you as much as you miss him, but he didn't seem to have a job to go to, did he? I know you mentioned his gf might have a teaching job or something, but I can't for the life of me figure out why he went. Sorry if I missed that, but I can't get past that in my head to follow this story.,

    Secondly, he says he's straight. What's your best guess about that? Is he, you think? I feel silly second-guessing someone I've never met, so who am I to doubt him? But, I've had lots of straight guy-friends and never has one carried on with me the way he carries on with you. I've had straight friends say "I love you" and "I miss you" and that stuff, but it was rhetoric and compliments, without passion and without being repeated over and over. This guy sounds in love with you.

    But, given that he wants to perceive himself as straight, ok...where does that leave you in all this? In love with a "straight" guy? That must be very painful. Even if you moved out there, where would you fit in with the two of them--at least in a way that's fulfilling for you? Wouldn't that be painful and tormenting to be out there next door or something and watching them be husband/wife and popping kids and all that? And, could you find a guy for yourself when you're in love with him?

    I'd just hate to see you shooting for the unobtainable, and I fear he might be--either he's not gay or he's very closeted and not willing to BE gay. I worry about where that leaves you in all this.

    Take care and thanks for posting all this. I know you must be very upset. I hope it gets better soon.

  16. #116

    Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

    Brian,

    Even if you have nothing to "report", please check in once a day (at least for the next few days) to let us know you're ok. I'm worried about you. You don't seem to be in too good a place right now. I just want to know you're ok. If I knew you personally, I'd move in for a week to keep an eye on you! Brighter days are ahead, my friend. And that's the truth. You just have to keep your head up, or you won't notice them!

    Mike

  17. #117
    Slut GayBoiJared's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Johannesburg
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Single
    Posts
    151
    Blog Entries
    4

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

    Hey Brian

    I know this has been said before, but I think I need to say it again.

    My best friend and I also have a very close relationship, he is definitely straight, but affectionate, but NOTHING like your friend!

    I really think you are not the only one coming to terms with your feelings.

    That being said, I don't think he would ever be able to be with you, because he doesn't seem to be able to accept who he is, and that is unfair to you. While he obviously doesn't hurt you intentionally, it is inevitable. I know it is a lot easier to say this beeing on the outside looking in, but you really need to get over him, before this ends up causing you even more hurt.

    You need to meet new people, there are a lot of guys who could return your feelings. Life is too short to waste on something that will never happen, I know it sounds like a clichť but it's true. If he loves you like he does then you are obviously a great guy. Maybe him moving to Las Vegas is a good thing, because you can't just fall out of love with him. So now would be the perfect time to meet someone, because you won't be distracted.

    And as said above, you need to check in, so we all know your ok!

    Hope you feeling better.
    J.

  18. #118
    JUB Addict LostVegas's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Brooklyn
    Orientation
    Gay
    Posts
    1,003

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

    Hey all just checking in here...thanks for your concern and some more of your great advice...just been busy with parent teacher conferences at school...its a sad state when most of my kids parents pull a no show and those that do are not even directly related to the kids..ie..not their father or mother...but I digress


    The past few days have been tough..Im getting kind of fed up with my job, nothing but backstabbers and the principal is really messing around with my pay and is pretty clueless...but anyway onto the reason most of you read this...


    My friend and his girl and I originally moved out to Vegas because we wanted a change....we wanted a new life...I think my buddy found ag great friend in me and me in him, so we kind of guessed that no other friend can top who we are to each other and as long as we got each other things will be ok...my buddy had no job going out there either time..but I know hes the type of person to get a really great job....this time going though he was really torn as to what to do..many a time he pondered breaking up with his girl and staying here or just me and him going out to vegas...


    I missed a call from him yesterday and didnt get back to him yet..this is the longest I have gone probably without speaking to him ever..going on 2 days now...and it is odd...he sounded very sad on the last message and I know he fully cant be happy there until I come, hes told me this countless of times...hes having trouble moving on with his life without me there with him by his side...

    Ii think Im a good piece of his life and I care for him and I am there for him than anyone in his life, his girl and parents included...I dont know what hes going through..I have said it before...if I had to guess...from all signs I would say hes straight and respect that..but then there are some things that make me question...but like I said at this point all I can do is think sometimes he might be..but ultimately I respect the feeling and the impression that he conveys..that hes straight...


    Dont know If I will hear from him tonight..I think me pulling away from him a little is really showing him how much I mean to him...Im not playing games..Im just letting him see on his own I guess his feelings and how much he misses me...god only knows I miss him very much....talk to you all soon..Bri

  19. #119
    JUB Addict LostVegas's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Brooklyn
    Orientation
    Gay
    Posts
    1,003

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

    Small update....just called my buddy...he had to to talk quick because the guy was there installing his new phone line and cable and computer stuff...he said he misses me and getting the phone set up will be cool as it will give him more time to talk to me, since hell have long distance now....he told me that it looks good that he will be getting a job at a paper company or something and that it makes 14 an hour plus benefits..Im proud and glad for him but at the same time sad in a way..I cant explain why ....maybe because hes making it out there without me? Maybe because things are becoming easier and easier for him and eventually it might even get easier to gorget me here and the friendship die or at the very least get weird like most long distance friendships/relationships do?

    I don't know...I hope whoever is reading this responds I can sure talk to someone tonight..brian

  20. #120
    Optimist Eternal
    halubtsi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Ottawa
    Orientation
    Gay
    Posts
    1,638

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

    LV, thanks for checking in. I've been in an odd "mental state" for the past few days, so I haven't really been posting. Anyway, things are back on track again.

    Your buddy will never forget you. He cares too much about you to do that. Will you grow apart? Possibly, but I doubt it...considering that the two of you are in fairly constant communication.

    I'm not an expert on LD friendships, but I do have many of them. But unlike you and your buddy, we don't actually talk that often. But I know that they're always going to be there for me. ALWAYS. When I head to Ottawa, I drop a line to my buddies a few days before and I've got my social life for the weekend. And it truly feels like I had never left. The same is true for when I head back to my home city.

    I've said this to a friend before...Good friendships, unlike good relationships (romantic) don't require a lot of effort to keep alive. Anyway, I hope things get easier for you emotionally.

  21. #121

    Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

    It sounds like your having emotions similar to what happens when parents have children move out on their own (Empty nest syndrome or something like that) and you end up constantly worry about what is going on and how your children are doing without your help or support. And if they are doing well, you end up being mad, sad, happy, and a combination of other emotions at once because you want them back in your house, but at the same time, you are happy they are doing fine without the physical support. He maybe having the same emotions.

    I don't think you ever need to worry about your buddy ever forgetting about you. There is too much history between you two for that to happen .

    Similar to Halabutsi, when I go visit my friends in Vancouver, my friends and I do stuff that we have done in the past and it's like nothing has changed. I don't think there would be any awkward moments between you and your buddy , unless you smell bad, have something stuck between your teeth, or have a booger hanging out of your nose . Cheer up, brighter days are ahead...and with computer access and a phone at his place, your communication with each other will increase.

  22. #122
    JUB Addict LostVegas's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Brooklyn
    Orientation
    Gay
    Posts
    1,003

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

    Hey guys whats up? I hope all is well with you guys..a small update for you...or me....


    My day at work went well...I found out today they corrected the money problem I have been having ...I came home to a message from my buddy saying that he got his phone and this is his number and to call him when I get a chance...

    I saved the message and signed on aol about 15 minutes later...I saw that his girls screenname was logged on..Ii didnt say hi because me and her rarely talk on aol..she IMed me "Hey whats up?" and I responded back "hey" and she then asked me to foward her some email I have been saving for her until they get their aol up and running again and I did...then he said "**** said to call the house at the number she gave"...I didnt respond..In fact Ii put my away message up...I logged off a little later..and then my buddy called...


    He said whats up and he was waiting for me to call and he got the phone up and running and now we can talk for a long time if we wanted to he said..I said cool and asked him whats up...whats new...how are things...he said he was applying to the job that that guy was helping him get..and that later on tonight they are going to a hockey thing and then out to dinner, all on comps that this guy got and so he just gave them to my buddy and his girl...

    This guy I am talking about is a friend of my buddys girl's mother...who I apparently found out was out there when we were out there last....so I asked him where were these people when we were out there last..and he said they were here but the mother in law said not to associate with them because they were bad people...truth be told, they are nice people and the mother in law just said that to be a prick....so anyway I just find myself getting more and more frustrated with what could have been if we gotten this kind of help last time when I was there, we would all still be together..anyway..he asked me what was wrong and I said, nothing at all...I wasnt even in a bad moo,d I was pretty happy because my pay at work as gone up...but maybe he noticed something in my voice???...He said it sounds like I am angry at him and I assured him that wasnt the case...I just said I wish that guy was fucking helping us out like he is helping you out now..maybe all this shit wouldnt have to happen....but anyway he asked me if I could come out there sooner, like this weekend, and I told him I couldnt...which I cant...he said he misses me and I said, yeah I know, I do too...we ended the call shortly after that...and he told me to call him later if I want...


    I don't know guys...I just see things changing already..I see myself staying here another year more, because my pay went up and I need to save money..It finally sunk in today that I have to get my shit together and my money and then move out there...but it hurts...It will hurt when he gets a job..when he finds new friends...when he gets married..when he has a kid ...all this stuff will hurt and also make me happy at the same time...Im going through several emotions right now...I just do not want things to mess up and deep down I know they wont mess up...I guess what I am afraid of is change...and I know with life comes constant change...but i never want to lose the feeling I have for him...this bond...brian

  23. #123
    Optimist Eternal
    halubtsi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Ottawa
    Orientation
    Gay
    Posts
    1,638

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

    Brian, you're right about life and change. Change is inevitable, yet there are always constants in your life. You determine what those constants are. For me, it's Faith, Family and Friends. But one thing I noticed, is that you can't force something to remain a constant in your life...You just have to put your trust in those constants, then weather the storm of life.

    A lot can happen in a year...and not necessarily bad things either. I realise that you'll be hurt when he "succeeds" without you, but ask yourself if that's really fair. Do you feel that your relationship is totally based on his dependency of you? Imo, that's not a good state for any friendship to be in. From what you've told us, your friendship goes much deeper than that. So...be happy for your friend. Be happy for yourself. I know it seems easier said than done, but look at it this way: If he's successful, he becomes more independent. You, being away from your buddy, become more independent as well. I mean, the two of you can either get depressed and weak from this experience, or you can use it to make yourselves happy and stronger. The choice is yours to make.

    As an optimist, I always look for the silver lining in everything. I moved to a village of 1000 people from a city of a million. ALL of my friends are elsewhere. My social life went from full weekends to nil. You want a shock? Come to rural New Brunswick. I'm sure Soilwork can attest to the amount social activities available to 20-somethings in rural NB communities. But did I sit and sulk in my room when I arrived in September? No. Did I miss my friends? Absolutely. But I also knew that they were always going to be there for me. I took advantage of the solitude to put my life in order. I've got no social life to speak of now, but I don't feel sorry for myself either. I make due with what I've got. And I find joy in everything that I do.

    What it all boils down to Brian, is perspective. The fact that you're going to be happy and hurt when good things happen to your buddy shows that you're looking at things from 2 perspectives. I suggest, forget the negative perspective and throw EVERYTHING behind the positive side. When you find yourself thinking about how you're going to feel hurt...smile. Force yourself to smile and then let yourself have happy laughter for your friend's success. Use your friend's success and happiness to propel your forward. In turn, your buddy can feed off of your happiness. I know it may sound absolutely ridiculous, but never underestimate the power of happiness and positivity.

    Take some of my happiness if you'd like. I've got lots. And have a hug. Hopefully, it'll give you a little warmth.

  24. #124

    Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

    I remember in 6th grade I had a best friend who went to a different school the next year. So i had to make new friends on my own, and he was at a completely different school. We used to talk at school and on the phone everyday, but once he changed schools we lost contact. I'm not saying thats what's gonna happen with your friendship, b/c my friendship with my old friend was nothing like that. But we lost contact and we haven't talked since. I tried calling and keepin in touch but our conversations never went anywhere so eventually i stopped trying, b/c he would never call me. Funny thing is I saw him, and stopped and we had a conversation(a good one) He gave me this excuse of why we never called me. I gave him the benefit of the doubt b/c our numbers changed over the years, but we exchanged numbers AGAIN and he still hasn't called me yet. I want to call, but I don't want to be the one putting all the effort in our friendship like last time.

    But I guess I said this b/c, he's on a different side of the country. I think, eventually you will not speak as often as you used to. It's natual, and i think thats what is happening. Your conversations are already becoming "hey hows it goin? nothing much, I miss you." But you seem to be fine. I hope you get to see him soon though.

  25. #125
    ok455
    Guest

    Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

    I guess you should start breaking ground and try to make some new friends and a possible boyfriend . you never know you might end up being happy in ny then moving down to lv. i feel if you move to lv with your bestfriend u might end up feeding you being inlove with your bf. and then your going to be jealous with him and his girlfreind. like i said and im always going to say this your a strong person for putting up with him and his girlfriend and being inlove with him. i think if i had a friend like that i would get away from him as fast as possible


    And are you sure u want to leave having a job and everything to move to lv and not have a job?

  26. #126
    JUB Addict LostVegas's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Brooklyn
    Orientation
    Gay
    Posts
    1,003

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

    Quote Originally Posted by ok455
    And are you sure u want to leave having a job and everything to move to lv and not have a job?

    Actually I am finishing up my Masters this spring/summer..plan on staying here till Summer 2007 to save more money up and then Ill go..Brian


    My family owns a house here so Ill be getting some of the rent money from the house also..Hopefully so I can eventually buy my own house in Vegas..talk to you all later tonight, enjoy your Saturday

  27. #127
    Slut
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Single
    Posts
    179

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

    Wow. I am blown away by this thread. I couldn't stop reading. I am new here. I would like to give you my opinion, to you, Vegas.

    From all that I have read, I have to say that there is more here than meets the eye. I think he loves you in a way he's not ready for. You never know, he could tell you the same thing a year or 2 years from now. I am not trying to get this back on your mind or put thoughts in your head for you to obsess about.

    It's so engaging to read. I don't know. If it were me, I would assume that he was gay too. I mean, come on. He played Madonna songs for you. I don't know. I see all the mixed signals and even I can't give you anything to go on. I guess I just have to keep saying that there's something more.

    I experienced something like this, but with a childhood friend. I was a boy, she was a girl. It started in second grade. She just came up to me after I moved where I was and wanted to be my friend. I went over to her house every day and every weekend. We did everything together. I was invited to thanksgiving parties, christmas parties, etc... I remember one day we were in her basement (we liked to do role playing games). I don't exactly remember why, but she started crawling on her knees towards me looking provocatively. She came towards me, acting like she was going to kiss me. And then, she stopped and said, "I'm just kidding, I would never do that." Then, it got quiet. I wanted her to, but I told her, "yeah, that's crazy." I still wish she would have.

    God, I'm sorry for rambling. But, I know the type of relationship you're talking about. Everybody thought we were dating, but we weren't. I haven't spoken to her in 5 years.

    Anyway, it seems like you're struggling with a different secret. He knows but he doesn't know everything. I think your next move should be to admit your feelings to him. If you don't, can you really guarantee that you can move on? I mean, that sounds cold and that's NOT my intent, but just think about how great it felt to tell him the other truth. Think about how great you would feel if you told him this truth. He already told you he wouldn't be mad if you were, but if you don't tell him soon, he may resent you later (if you decide to tell him in the future) for keeping it a secret for so long.

    I've never read anything so complicated before. If it were me, I would just tell him that you had feelings for him. Ask him if he feels anything for you. Maybe you should be the one asking questions now. Ask him hypothetical questions, "what if..." I know it could be disastrous. It's up to you. But if you don't tell him or ask him why he feels so close to you, then you'll never know.

    I will keep reading anything you post here. I almost cried reading all of this.

    strangelittleboy

    P.S. If you want to send him a song, I suggest: "Don't Make Me Come To Vegas" by Tori Amos

  28. #128
    Bammer's Papa
    Kulindahr's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    on the foggy, damp, redneck Oregon coast
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Bisexual
    Status
    Single
    Posts
    104,476
    Blog Entries
    78

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

    It's pretty clear you've invested a lot in him. Seeing that brings to mind what a doctor told me when I was in a similar situation -- invest in other people. THat's not a betrayal, because it won't change your love for him, but it's like having more feet on the ground -- think of a horse; it's almost like you're a horse with just one leg, so with that leg disturbed , you're threatened and scared. Making other friends will be like getting more legs under you, and give you balance.

    That's an important concept... and you are 'WAY out of balance! Don't take this wrong, but one way to approach it would be asking yourself, What would I be doing if he'd been killed in an accident going out there? I'm not saying write him off, it's just a way of looking at what you can do to keep your equilibrium right now.

    I really feel for you, since I'm in a very similar boat. With just three "pre-out" friends left, and none of them I can really talk to about this whoile new adventure, I'm 'way off balance myself. It isn't easy! And I don't see any way to go except make new friends and get my balance back.

    "Thirty-one* states allow all qualified citizens to carry concealed weapons. In those states, homosexuals should embark on organized efforts to become comfortable with guns, learn to use them safely and carry them. They should set up Pink Pistols task forces, sponsor shooting courses and help homosexuals get licensed to carry. And they should do it in a way that gets as much publicity as possible. "

    --Jonathan Rauch, Salon Magazine, March 13, 2000

    *the number is now forty

  29. #129
    JUB Addict LostVegas's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Brooklyn
    Orientation
    Gay
    Posts
    1,003

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

    Hey guys, what's doing?

    Been a little while since my last update...just started a masters course today (I hate school)


    The past two days have been weird. I have not spoken to my friend. He has not called. And I have not called him. The last time we spoke was on Friday afternoon and I detailed that call on my last post or two....I miss him...I don't want to call him for some reason..I dont know what it is...I guess I just dont wanna be in pain and be sad and I also in some way want to show him I can be strong out here by myself...He knows sometimes I could be a loner and not call and distance myself and that always scared him about me because he always wants to be talking to me..I think he has not called because lately hes been the one calling and I guess he wants to see when or if I will call..plus I think in some ways he also wants to show me he has a life out there now too...Im so sad guys...talk to me..Im feeling alone tonight...Bri

  30. #130

    Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

    I don't think you show weakness if you gave him/them a phone call tonight. You are still in the transitionary phase of life without your second family and they are probably going through the same thing. From all your postings, they both care for you and you them.

    Just chat on sweet nothings if that will bring you some comfort. Sounds like they are getting their lives in order in Vegas and I'm sure the comfort of your voice will bring them happiness. I'm sure they want to hear about what went on with your life for the past week as you are interested in what is happening with their lives down in Vegas with the big move and all. (Wish him well on his job interview! and that you miss him/them) Please take care of yourself ok?

  31. #131
    Optimist Eternal
    halubtsi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Ottawa
    Orientation
    Gay
    Posts
    1,638

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

    LV, to some extent it's probably easier to not call him. I can relate to that. But don't let your pain get in the way of your friendship. You probably still think about him often...and you probably wonder if he thinks about you as often as you do him. And even though you already know the answer, you still question.

    Rule of thumb: Do what your heart tells you. If you want to talk to your buddy, pick up the phone and call him. Don't wait days or weeks to speak to him...otherwise, you're just playing mind games. ie: "you shouldn't call him until the 3rd day because you don't want to look too anxious, but you don't want to seem disinterested...etc.." And one last thing: Don't let anything stop you from talking to him...that includes yourself.

    Good luck LV. Take care.

  32. #132
    Slut
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Single
    Posts
    203

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

    ...want to show him I can be strong out here by myself...I think he has not called because lately hes been the one calling and I guess he wants to see when or if I will call..plus I think in some ways he also wants to show me he has a life out there now too.
    It seems to me that both of you are trying to show the other that you are strong and can handle being on your own. I'm really scared for your friendship, scared that this will be the quickest way to end up by yourself, I'm afraid that you'll both end up trying to show that your strong for yourselves and each other. Suddenly a week has passed since you talked then the next time your being strong it will be two weeks...I don't know the exact wording of that phrase that says "you left and you were my life" at the end but I guess I'm saying there is nothing wrong in admitting that even if it can't go beyond being the best of friends. I'm really going to plead with you not to use the loner thing to allow yourself to be distanced from him. Call him from time to time to let him know you care, even if its not tonight, people need to hear it. It seems he knows you pretty well but all it takes is one thought of "maybe I'm annoying him" or "maybe I'm suffocating him..." to poison your relationship from the inside out. I'm thinking of ya.

  33. #133
    Slut
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Single
    Posts
    179

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

    I agree with clorox.

    Don't separate yourself from others. I do that all the time and it's not good. Just try to call him twice a week or something he feels comfortable with

  34. #134
    Slut
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Single
    Posts
    179

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

    I agree.

    I really think he feels the same way - that is my impression. And I believe that he does love his fiance, but not as much as he loves you.

    Why else would he be able to be so open with you? to cry in front of you? To tell you think he's of you when he listens to Madonna?

    You have one hell of a friend and either way, I don't think you will lose. If you tell him you love him and he says he feels the same way and wants to be with you, that's wonderful. If you tell him that you love him and he says he doesn't feel the same way, that's ok too becasue you know he's got your back in the end. You know he's going to stick by you.

    Granted, if the latter plays out, you won't get everything you want, but you've got someone who's not going to judge you or downgrade you just because of your sexuality.

    Either way, he's going to be there, so you won't lose him.

    I would love to have a friend like that right now.

    I think you should try to tell him...He said he wouldn't be mad before and I dont see how that could change now. He said it would be ok if you were and you know he's gonna be there through it all, so take some comfort in that.

    strangelittleboy

  35. #135
    JUB Addict LostVegas's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Brooklyn
    Orientation
    Gay
    Posts
    1,003

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

    Hey guys..just got home from one of my Masters classes so I just thought I would log on and post here...There was this new guy in class with a body so ungodly I couldnt take my eyes off of him ...I checked him out the whole day..He sat next to me...And all I could do was undress him and think what I would do to him with my eyes..Talkin ripped body with tight jeans and a tight tee..nipples coming right through the shirt, and nice many arms and big hands...ok ok ok...let me stop I could go on..


    I fell asleep last night...and I woke up groggy to what I thought I heard was my buddy talking to me...then I went back to sleep..to my surprise I wasnt dreaming..but that I was hearing him after all, he left a message for me on the machine..I got it in the morning and it brought a smile to my face...what better way to wake up??? I made a promise to myself that I would call him back...and I will..maybe Ill post later today if I feel the need...anyway thanks for reading...Bri

  36. #136
    Bammer's Papa
    Kulindahr's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    on the foggy, damp, redneck Oregon coast
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Bisexual
    Status
    Single
    Posts
    104,476
    Blog Entries
    78

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

    Quote Originally Posted by halubtsi
    LV, to some extent it's probably easier to not call him. I can relate to that. But don't let your pain get in the way of your friendship. You probably still think about him often...and you probably wonder if he thinks about you as often as you do him. And even though you already know the answer, you still question.

    Rule of thumb: Do what your heart tells you. If you want to talk to your buddy, pick up the phone and call him. Don't wait days or weeks to speak to him...otherwise, you're just playing mind games. ie: "you shouldn't call him until the 3rd day because you don't want to look too anxious, but you don't want to seem disinterested...etc.." And one last thing: Don't let anything stop you from talking to him...that includes yourself.

    Good luck LV. Take care.
    When my best buddy moved to Indiana to the farm he inherited, we called all the time while he was on the road. Once he was at the farm....
    I kept telling myself he was busy, and not to bother him, but the truth was that it hurt like hell not to be able to drive over and see him and go do something crazy together. If there's somewhere worse than hell, that's what it felt like not having him there to cry on through the pain of coming out. Calling made the pain sharper, so I didn't call.

    Don't be that guy: call!

    Random thought: call and say, I called to say hi. HI! and hang up. TO my buddy, that would be stupid and funny... so it would work. I don't know about wiuth you two.

    "Thirty-one* states allow all qualified citizens to carry concealed weapons. In those states, homosexuals should embark on organized efforts to become comfortable with guns, learn to use them safely and carry them. They should set up Pink Pistols task forces, sponsor shooting courses and help homosexuals get licensed to carry. And they should do it in a way that gets as much publicity as possible. "

    --Jonathan Rauch, Salon Magazine, March 13, 2000

    *the number is now forty

  37. #137
    Bammer's Papa
    Kulindahr's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    on the foggy, damp, redneck Oregon coast
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Bisexual
    Status
    Single
    Posts
    104,476
    Blog Entries
    78

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

    Quote Originally Posted by strangelittleboy

    I would love to have a friend like that right now.

    strangelittleboy

    There's something you should tell him!

    I'd say I missed him so much I've talked about it with plas on-line, and they all say he sounds like the best friend anyone could ever have, and I felt that way anyway and really want him to know it.

    Off-the-wall thought: in your position, I'd be hoping that when I told him, he'd say, Dude, I want you, too, but I can't leave her <pause>. Could you share me? because I can't live wikthout either of you.
    That way I could be happy for him, and love him the way I wanted.
    But my best buddy says my dreams are "so full of shit", this is probably just another dumb one.

    "Thirty-one* states allow all qualified citizens to carry concealed weapons. In those states, homosexuals should embark on organized efforts to become comfortable with guns, learn to use them safely and carry them. They should set up Pink Pistols task forces, sponsor shooting courses and help homosexuals get licensed to carry. And they should do it in a way that gets as much publicity as possible. "

    --Jonathan Rauch, Salon Magazine, March 13, 2000

    *the number is now forty

  38. #138
    Bammer's Papa
    Kulindahr's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    on the foggy, damp, redneck Oregon coast
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Bisexual
    Status
    Single
    Posts
    104,476
    Blog Entries
    78

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

    Quote Originally Posted by LostVegas
    Hey guys..just got home from one of my Masters classes so I just thought I would log on and post here...There was this new guy in class with a body so ungodly I couldnt take my eyes off of him ...I checked him out the whole day..He sat next to me...And all I could do was undress him and think what I would do to him with my eyes..Talkin ripped body with tight jeans and a tight tee..nipples coming right through the shirt, and nice many arms and bug hands...ok ok ok...let me stop I could go on..


    I fell asleep last night...and I woke up groggy to what I thought I heard was my buddy talking to me...then I went back to sleep..to my surprise I wasnt dreaming..but that I was hearing him after all, he left a message for me on the machine..I got it in the morning and it brought a smile to my face...what better way to wake up??? I made a promise to myself that I would call him back...and I will..maybe Ill post later today if I feel the need...anyway thanks for reading...Bri
    It sounds to me like your mind knows you need to get to know some more people, to get some balance back.
    I'll just say "awesome" to both paragraphs. Awesome! Awesome!

    "Thirty-one* states allow all qualified citizens to carry concealed weapons. In those states, homosexuals should embark on organized efforts to become comfortable with guns, learn to use them safely and carry them. They should set up Pink Pistols task forces, sponsor shooting courses and help homosexuals get licensed to carry. And they should do it in a way that gets as much publicity as possible. "

    --Jonathan Rauch, Salon Magazine, March 13, 2000

    *the number is now forty

  39. #139
    JUB Addict LostVegas's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Brooklyn
    Orientation
    Gay
    Posts
    1,003

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

    Just called and left him a message..He wasnt home..anyway gunna go cruise the boarde here..pretty upbeat today...cant get that guy from class out of my head lol, talk to you all soon..bri

  40. #140
    JUB Addict LostVegas's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Brooklyn
    Orientation
    Gay
    Posts
    1,003

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

    Well it is about 2am here on the East coast and after several episodes of phone tag where we kept missing each other..my buddy and I finally spoke to each other on the phone ...the call lasted two hours and it was the quickest two hours ever...we talked about everything...he said how he got a ticket and was worried about money and that he was tempted to call me for help but he refrained from doing that..he repeated over and over that he misses me and things aint the same there without me....


    My buddy asked if I told or have seen a counselor or a therapist "about what we talked about before I left" and I assured him that I didnt and that I really didnt get down anymore about anything...I told him the only thing I get down about is that they are not here anymore...I spoke to his girl for a while and things sound good for the m both and I really couldnt be happier..they have it hard over there but they are slowly but surely making their way...I cant wait to go out there in August and they agreed...

    What worries me about my friend is that everytime since I told him gay...when he wants to bring that topic up...hell say..."what we talked about" ....He'll never actually say the words "since u told me u were gay"...so I dont know what to think...I know hes ok with it..but maybe his girl was around and he didnt want to keep saying it? Maybe HE was uncomfortable saying it?: I dont know....I told him that my college classes are going well and that Im meeting and hanging out with new and different people..I could tell in his voice that he didnt like that and was jealous..He kept asking over and over "please dont forget me...just dont forget me..thats my biggest fear is that you will forget me.." and of course I said I wouldnt, which I wont!!!

    But anyway we left off saying how good it was to finally be able to talk for a little while and that we couldnt wait to talk again....anyway thats my small update guys..speak to you more soon...Bri

  41. #141
    Bammer's Papa
    Kulindahr's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    on the foggy, damp, redneck Oregon coast
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Bisexual
    Status
    Single
    Posts
    104,476
    Blog Entries
    78

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

    Quote Originally Posted by LostVegas
    What worries me about my friend is that everytime since I told him gay...when he wants to bring that topic up...hell say..."what we talked about" ....He'll never actually say the words "since u told me u were gay"...so I dont know what to think...I know hes ok with it..but maybe his girl was around and he didnt want to keep saying it? Maybe HE was uncomfortable saying it?: I dont know....I told him that my college classes are going well and that Im meeting and hanging out with new and different people..I could tell in his voice that he didnt like that and was jealous..He kept asking over and over "please dont forget me...just dont forget me..thats my biggest fear is that you will forget me.." and of course I said I wouldnt, which I wont!!!

    But anyway we left off saying how good it was to finally be able to talk for a little while and that we couldnt wait to talk again....anyway thats my small update guys..speak to you more soon...Bri
    Ask him! A friend as good as that will tell you if he's uncomfortable. And if it would do you good to hear him say you're gay, tell him so!
    I finally told my best buddy that it totally bugs me that he goes dead silent when I tell him about dancing with a dude. I said he's known three years longer than I have, and he should be more used to me being like this than I am! He laughed at that, and said he'll try to do better, but DON'T tell him if I spent the night with a dude! And Eric isn't as good a friend to me as your buddy is to you, so just get it out there.

    I have a pal who's in jail right now, and he's worried that I'm looking for friends to "replace him". I told him that's not it, I just need more friends in my life -- but it's up to him to believe me. Tell your buddy the same thing -- you're not trying to replace him, and you won't forget him, but it's good to have another friend or two.

    Somehow... either he's REALLY emotionally dependent on you for some reason, or he wants you in more than "just great friends" fashion -- that's my guess.

    "Thirty-one* states allow all qualified citizens to carry concealed weapons. In those states, homosexuals should embark on organized efforts to become comfortable with guns, learn to use them safely and carry them. They should set up Pink Pistols task forces, sponsor shooting courses and help homosexuals get licensed to carry. And they should do it in a way that gets as much publicity as possible. "

    --Jonathan Rauch, Salon Magazine, March 13, 2000

    *the number is now forty

  42. #142
    JUB Addict LostVegas's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Brooklyn
    Orientation
    Gay
    Posts
    1,003

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

    Hey guys whats up..I am back to post with a rare early morning update...


    Ii woke up to my alarm at 5am and realized there was a message on the machine...It was my buddy and he sounded sad, he was asking if I was there to pick up the phone...As soon as I heard the message I called him and he immediately picked up..


    He said that he misses me very much and how he hoped that things were different and that he is always thinking about what I am doing during the day ...He said he was putting up a front before and he is really sad...sad about me not being there and he doesnt know how he is going to last out there without me..He was sad in a way about me hanging with different and new people out here and I said I miss him also. He said he doesnt want me to forget about him or try to replace him and I assured him thats silly and that I wouldnt...He said while hes happy out there because thats the place he wants to spend his life, that its very much a different place without me there...I told him I think about him all the time and that it is different here also without him..I said you are lucky to have 3 great friends...I said besides your wife you have me..and your two other childhood friends...and he goes "they are nothing like you...other friends? I have no other friends..you are the only one that cares for me.." I told him that unlike his mom or dad or some of his other friends that I will always be here for him no matter what...

    We stayed on for an hour and a half and we simply ended the call saying..."Goodbye..I miss you.." and he said "Bri, I mis you so much too..." I told him I would call him tonight...and he said he would do the same....


    See what I mean??? When his girl was around before he was cool..if not jovial...and then later on when shes asleep..he opens up to me more...whats up with that? Maybe hes afraid of being this emotional around his girl...and if so isnt that bad that he cant be like that with his girl???? I don't know...all I know is Im glad to hear from my bro....


    P.S.-Kul you hit the nail on the head..we are both emotionally dependent on each other...sometimes I think hes more dependent than me.....talk to you all soon...Brian

  43. #143
    Optimist Eternal
    halubtsi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Ottawa
    Orientation
    Gay
    Posts
    1,638

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

    LV, I'm glad your buddy was able to let his guard down. I don't think it's unusual for your friend to act tough around his girlfriend. It's unfortunate he can't be as open around her, but it's understandable. I know a few guys who'll be ultra-chauvinistic in the presence of other guys, but be very open when they're alone with me. Whereas, they'd never discuss girlfriend problems in front of other guys, they'll readily discuss it with me.

    You're comfortable around your buddy, and he's comfortable around you. You've shared things with each other that I'm sure neither one of you has shared with anyone else. He does seem to be dependent on you. That's not surprising, since he really has opened up to you. We already know that he's closer to you than he is to his girlfriend. From what you've told us so far, it looks like a relationship of convenience more than anything else. Since they've been together for so long, it's like they think marriage is the next logical step, regardless of the fact that she doesn't fill his emotional needs. But I digress. He depends on you to fulfill him emotionally. He knows no one else with whom he can do that. He invested time in your friendship and discovered that he could tell you anything. He doesn't want to lose the only outlet where he can truly be himself; unencumbered, no facades.

    His fears are justified too. You've come out and dealt with your sexuality. Yes, you've only told him, but in time, you may have the confidence to start dating guys. And truth be told, if you do start going out with someone, do you not feel that there is a slight possibility that you'll provide greater emotional support to your boyfriend than your bestfriend? Keep in mind, if you start going out with a guy, it wouldn't be out of convenience...It'd be (I'd hope, anyway) because you like the person...perhaps even love the guy. Then again, you could always just go out with some gl guy so you could have a trophy boyfriend, while keeping your emotional side with your best friend...but I don't really think that's the best way to go, imo.

    Anyway, thanks for the update. I'm off to school, too. Cheers.

  44. #144
    JUB Addict LostVegas's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Brooklyn
    Orientation
    Gay
    Posts
    1,003

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

    Small small small update...


    Cute straight guy in my class(italian boy who teaches guitar in public schools) started talking to me during lunch and we got into an intense conversation about exercise and diet and just about anything else, we exchanged emails and phone numbers and we might chill soon...yeah hes straight but Im finding it SO easy to make friends..its unreal...Im very excited about this..I know its something that comes easy to some or is no big deal but I've never been more sociable in my life..I think I carry myself different after coming out to my friend...bri

  45. #145
    aww I wanted to explode looseliam's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    infernis
    Posts
    16,975

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

    I've followed your posts, and had my 2 cents to add, but everyone seems to be hitting the nail on the head. Just wanted to say 'Hi' and I'm glad to see you're getting out there and meeting more people. Though I doubt any will replace your friend; as you know it's nice to have someone to chill with. I got to hand it to you on pulling yourself through and keeping an upper lip. Best wishes Bri.

    Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day.
    Give a man religion, and he'll starve praying for a fish.

  46. #146
    Slut
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Single
    Posts
    203

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

    I'm just curious what does your best friend think about you getting a boyfriend? Would he get jealous of that as well? If he did sound jealous could you slide a comment about it into the conversation? Would he be less apt to joke about his feelings behind his jealousy if his girlfriend isn't around? Does he truly know that you love him or do you hold back because of emotional backlash? Its no wonder your confused those questions would have me incapable of functioning...but the answers to those questions could let you move on. And rock on with your new found social success! I need some of that over here, I'm horrible in big groups.

  47. #147
    JUB Addict LostVegas's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Brooklyn
    Orientation
    Gay
    Posts
    1,003

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

    Quote Originally Posted by clorox
    I'm just curious what does your best friend think about you getting a boyfriend? Would he get jealous of that as well? If he did sound jealous could you slide a comment about it into the conversation? Would he be less apt to joke about his feelings behind his jealousy if his girlfriend isn't around? Does he truly know that you love him or do you hold back because of emotional backlash? Its no wonder your confused those questions would have me incapable of functioning...but the answers to those questions could let you move on. And rock on with your new found social success! I need some of that over here, I'm horrible in big groups.
    1. I think he would be jealous on some level. Jealous that I can have the emotions and love for another guy besides him and also that this person might be taking my time and my attention away from him. I only think this because even when I mentioned the new people I met in class this week, he sort of seemed odd about it and I asked and he said "Im jealous, I dont want you to forget about me"

    2. I think on some level he knows I love him more than a brother. Hes joked about it several times, so that shows me on some level he thinks that.


    Just another small update..The last I spoke with my friend was from about 3am-6am late Wednesday night or early Thursday morning, however you want to look a it...We had a very deep conversation..He stated he was sad and depressed..and that he has been putting on a front about how happy he is..He afraid of running out of money and afraid he wont get a decent job..He said on top of everything he is missing me and his heart is breaking..we both agreed that we cant wait until August when I go out there for a week...

    He asked me if I would or am planning on seeing a therapist and would I tell the therapist what I told him, about me being gay...I said I dont plan on seeing anyone because since I told him I was gay I have not really ben depressed at all(save for this thread)I told him about the people I have been meeting...and how socially I am changing and he seemed happy for me but at the same time jealous..he even said so..he talked about what hes doing there...and the few people he has been chilling with and he says its not the same as me..he said that he cant thank me enough for coming into his life and helping him out in everyway..he noted that no one, not even his parents(his father doesnt speak to him) or his long time best friends helped him out all...and he said no one has helped him out like me...he also said that out of all his friends Im the only one who cares and looks out for him and that his other long time friends dont even seem to call anymore or when he calls they cant stay on the phone too long.....anyway it was a very nice talk, even though he was down and I cant wait to see him....Brian-thanks for all your continued responses and advice and personal stories...they are an inspiration to me always, and to be honest if it wasnt for this board I dont think I would have had the courage to come out to my buddy before he left..I never quite said thank you...so thank you!

    Here is a song I just heard recently called "You're Beautiful" but I changed some of the "shes" to "hes" to reflect what Im feeling...talk to you all soon

    "You're Beautiful"

    My life is brilliant.
    My love is pure.
    I saw an angel.
    Of that I'm sure.
    He smiled at me on the subway.
    He was with another girl.
    But I won't lose no sleep on that,
    'Cause I've got a plan.

    You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
    You're beautiful, it's true.
    I saw you face in a crowded place,
    And I don't know what to do,
    'Cause I'll never be with you.

    Yeah, he caught my eye,
    As we walked on by.
    He could see from my face that I was,
    F**king high,
    And I don't think that I'll see him again,
    But we shared a moment that will last till the end.

    You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
    You're beautiful, it's true.
    I saw you face in a crowded place,
    And I don't know what to do,
    'Cause I'll never be with you.
    You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
    You're beautiful, it's true.
    There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
    When she thought up that I should be with you.
    But it's time to face the truth,
    I will never be with you.

  48. #148

    Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

    ^I kind of wish you tell him you had feelings for him. Feeligns that were more than brotherly/best friendly. I mean, I wish you'd just tell him that, but in a way that lets him know that you're not anymore. Something like, "I never told you but I had strong feeligns for you, like more than friends feelings, but now that I'm meeting new people(guys) they're not as strong. NOt that I don't love you, b/c you're still my best friend, but the sexual attraction is on someone else." Im not tellin gyou to tell him that b/c you should, but I would just like to know his reaction to something like that. To see if he infact has closed up gay feelings for you. Too bad theres no way to test it. Oh well, I'm happy for you. Hope you find alot of new friends.

  49. #149
    JUB Addict LostVegas's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Brooklyn
    Orientation
    Gay
    Posts
    1,003

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

    Hey whats up guys..have not written here as of late..been a little busy with masters classes..back to regular school tomorrow-work!


    Interestingly enough ever since I came to terms with being gay and outed myself to my friend, I have had more offers from girls to go out or to go out with one of their friends than ever before, it is quite odd ..Today for instance this girl says to me that my humor and personality would fit in great with her friend...I should have said I was gay right then and there, but for some reason I didnt and just kind of laughed it off..she snuck a picture of me onto her cell and sent it to her friend ...but anyway


    I have spoken to my buddy twice since I last posted and he really is miserable out there. Work is hard to come by and they are both down to 800 dollars...I feel bad for him..I really cant help him financially anymore even if I wanted to, I have my own shit to worry about here in NYC....


    He misses me very much and he never fails to tell me..he said he cant enjoy it there at all without me...and that August is too long a wait..he keeps trying to convince me to leave everything and come down there, which he says he knows is the wrong thin to do, but he misses my presence and doesnt feel secure he said without me there..hes planning on calling later tonight...


    One thing bout my buddys girl...even when money is tight or its good..she has to live spoiled and like a queen..she has to get her nails done, and is always asking my buddy "what are we doing for dinner??" and she absolutely had to go buy furniture to fill her Las Vegas apt...so now because of that they are low on money...

    But I miss him so much..and in a way I feel guilty because I am doing quite well over here, socially and with everything else....anyways good talking on here again...talk to you guys soon..brian

    PS-Some poster asked If I will ever tell him about my love for him....I think I will when I go down there in August..he has stated that If i was in love with him that he would be ok with that but its also not his thing..so Im not afraid of a rejection, because he kind of already did that..but at least I will get my real feelings out to him and for some small reason one night if he ever leans to going "gay or bi" lol or having a one time experience, he knows Ill be there...crazy??? you tell me..bri

  50. #150
    Slut
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Single
    Posts
    179

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Undying love for my best friend...please read(long)

    I think you should do it.

    You WON'T lose him.

    You have nothing to lose.

    If he is curious, it wouldn't hurt if he did know, and he might do just that.

    You never know.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Terms of Service | Privacy Policy | About JustUsBoys.com | Site Map | RSS | Webmasters | Advertise | Link to JUB | Report A Bug on this Page

Visit our sister sites: Broke Straight Boys | CollegeDudes.com | CollegeBoyPhysicals.com | RocketTube
All models appearing on JustUsBoys.com were over 18 at the time of photography. The records for sexually explicit images required by U.S. 2257 are kept by the
individual producers of the images. The location of the records is available by clicking the Custodian of Records link at the bottom of each gallery page.
© 2012 JustUsBoys.com. The JustUsBoys.com name and logo are registered trademarks. Labeled with ICRA and RTA. Member of ASACP and The Free Speech Coalition.