Actually, it's been more like 31 years.

I graduated high school in June 1983. Bi-curious was kind of a new word that I learned around that time. It aptly described me. I loved women - always have and always will. I love having sex with women. I love everything about women.

Still, there was always some part of me that found a certain type of guy attractive. I used to fantasize in high school and (later) college about being with a guy. Always, my fantasies related to me pleasing the guy. Me on my knees sucking him off. Me taking his cock in my ass. You get the picture. 1983 was not as progressive as today. Bisexuality and homosexuality were starting to become prevalent, but, certainly nowhere near the acceptance level that now exists.

One very drunken night, I made a pass at a guy in my high school class that I found attractive. We were at a high school dance. I was there with my girlfriend but I was in the bathroom with this guy and I said, "I want to suck your dick." I had playfully joked with him before about this, but, nothing ever happened. This night, however, he said, "Why do I think you're joking?" I told him I was not and please pull his pants down. He lifted his shirt up a little to show me the waist section on his pants. He wanted (without saying) me to slide his pants down. I did. I can't believe now I was so brazen. This was a bathroom where people were coming in all night. I slid his pants and underwear down, though, and started to suck his cock. No more than 30 seconds into it, we heard the bathroom door open so we had to stop. Twice more we went back to the bathroom that night but all we did was make out. I never was with him again.

I made a pass at another guy I knew and he flat out rejected me. I hit the jackpot with the third guy but we were out of high school by then. He was a good friend. Every time we went out, drinking, I'd make some comment to him at some point about letting me suck him off. It went on like that from our senior year in high school to our freshman year in college. We went to different colleges (in different states) but every time we were both home (spring break, summer, etc.), we'd hang out, go to bars, etc. Back then, you only had to be 18 to drink. We'd get loaded and I'd try to make a pass at him. He always gently rebuffed me, again, thinking it was a joke.

But, one night, in the late Spring of 84, we were out and thoroughly drunk. It was midnight and we left the bar (as we were running out of money) and decided to get a 12 pack and drink somewhere. My friend, Chris, said there was a little secluded place by a park where he sometimes took girls to drink and make out. We got our beer and drove there. It was a hot night and Chris had a Fiat that had a removable roof. The roof was off and we sat drinking. I again made some comment about letting me blow him and, to my surprise, this time, he unzipped his pants and pulled his dick out. It was very erect. Once, about 6 months earlier, he had said that if I ever tried to give him a blow job, he'd hit me. This time, his cock out of his pants, he said, "Go ahead." I said, "and then you'll hit me." He sort of laughed and said, "Yeah."

I went down toward his cock and he didn't do anything. He didn't say no, he didn't try to hit me, nothing. Still, I pulled my head back up and started to say something and then, I thought, "fuck it, it's now or never." I immediately put my head down again and started sucking him. We always had a joke about girls not letting us cum in their mouths, and so, he asked me, "can I cum in your mouth?" I sort of said "no" because I had his his dick in my mouth but, then, I thought, "why not?" So, I told him that he could.

I glided up and down on his dick with my mouth for 5 minutes. He'd make comments like "you're good, you've done this before," but I just kept sucking him. He always told me that he could last a long time and boy could he. After 10 minutes, I started getting tired and told him that sometimes what helps me is when the girl kisses my legs and balls, etc. So, I took his pants and underwear completely off and left them in a crumpled heap on the floor. He was in the driver's seat, I was in the passenger seat (his car was a little 2 seater). I tried for another 5 minutes and couldn't bring him to climax. I said, "let's take a 5 minute break." We started to sip our beers when out of nowhere, a police car's spotlight was on us. At the time, we hadn't been doing anything but I had no idea how long the officer had been there.

I was pretty skinny then and I had let my hair grow long. I wouldn't say I was androgynous looking but I was close. The officer came to the car. Chris and I were safe except that his pants and underwear were still off. Chris tried to pull his T Shirt over his cock, so that it might appear he was wearing shorts. The cop didn't seem much older than us (later, I learned he was 24). He was tall and muscular with a short blond haircut. He came to the car and asked what we were doing. We told him drinking. He said, "You can't drink here." He said, "You need to pour out the open beers. I'll let you take the others but you have to go."

Then he said, "I'll need one of you to come with me, just to check your info." Since I was the only fully clothed person in the car and we believed our ruse had worked, I volunteered. We walked back to his cruiser. Chris stayed in the car. The officer, whose first name was Steve, let me sit up front. He took my license, looked at it, and said, "I'm going to call this info in, are there any warrants for you?" I told him there were not.

Then, he looked at me and smiled and said, "I saw what you were doing back there, you know, I could write you up for public indecency." I was stunned. He went on, "I don't want to do that, but, I can't think of a way around it. I don't want to embarrass you or your friend, but ...." I was sick to my stomach. My mind started to reel. This would be more than embarrassing - being caught and charged with giving a guy a blow job. I said, "Please, don't do that, I'm sorry. I'll do anything, please."

He raised his eyebrows, "Anything, huh?" He looked down at his groin. I looked too and saw he had a raging hard on underneath his pants. My mind was racing in a million different directions but at the time I felt like I had no choice. He said, "Go ahead." I reached down, unbuckled his belt, popped the button on the top of his pants and slid them down a bit. I took his cock out of his underwear with my hand and started to give him a blow job. I'll never forget the taste of his cock. Very sweaty and salty, like he had been really active that night. This was before guys really shaved and I could see his blondish pubic bush. His hairs kept getting in my mouth. I sucked him, though. Then, I noticed something really odd. When I had been sucking Chris, my own cock had not been hard. Now, I was rock hard. My cock was trying to break through my jeans.

Steve grabbed the back of my head, pushed my head and mouth up and down quickly and deeply on his cock. He'd grab my long hair and force me down even further, making me deep throat him, causing me to gag a little. He said things like, "You like cock, don't you? You like my cock, tell me how much?" I would pull off and say, "I love your cock." I said it to please him but I also sort of meant it. He was so rock hard and big, really big (at least for my near virgin mouth). Now, looking back, I'm sure he was about 8 inches but his cock was thick too.

It didn't take long for him to tense and cum. I had never brought a man to orgasm before and never had cum in my mouth. It was quite a shock to my system. He seemed to cum in buckets. I tried to swallow it all down, but I kept gagging. He held my head down, though, right on his cock until every last drop came out. He pulled his hand off my head but I was exhausted. I sort of lay my head on his lap and he said, "How did I taste?" I told him "Great" (which was a lie only because I had never tasted cum before and that first time it was kind of gross). I kissed his legs a few times and said, "You going to let us go, right?" He said he was.

This is the really odd part. When I was ready to leave, I didn't know exactly what to say. So, I said, "Thanks." Then, realizing how hard I still was, I said, "If you ever need anything like that, you can call me." He laughed and said, "You really like my dick, don't you. Yeah, I might call you. You better not tell anyone what happened." I told him I wouldn't.

Chris didn't have any idea what had happened. I told him the cop had run my license info and it took a while for the radio to get the info back. We left and he drove to drop me off. I can't believe this looking back but there was a little wooded area near my house. He suggested we go out in the woods and drink another beer. What he really wanted was for me to finish him off. So, I got on my knees, in the woods, and sucked him until he came in my mouth.

Chris and I stayed friends, but, for awhile it was really strange. I avoided him. I was embarrassed I guess. I never was with him, sexually, again. Well, sort of, a few times after that, we both ended up with women and once I got a blow job from mine, and he his, while in the same car.

For weeks after, I would fantasize about Steve. I mean, really fantasize and jack off, thinking about his big strong hands and his big cock. I would think of the taste of his cock, his sweat and his cum. About a month later, I saw him at a restaurant late one night after drinking. He was on duty getting a cup of coffee. I went into the restaurant bathroom and he followed me a few seconds later. At first, I thought he was going to hurt me or something, he looked angry. Instead, he said, "I get off at 7:00. Meet me at this address." I stayed up the rest of the night, driving by the address (it was an apartment) several times. Finally, at 7:30, I went there and waited in the parking lot. He came in his car soon after.

We went up to his apartment and the first thing he said was, "this won't do" referring to my one day growth of facial hair. He told me to go in his bathroom and shave. I did as told and washed my face after. When I came out, he was on the couch. He told me to come over to him. He said he was tired and his body ached and wanted a back message. He got up and we went to his bedroom. He stood, waiting for me to take his pants and uniform off. I fumbled unbuttoning things but finally got him down to his underwear. He lay on his stomach and I started to massage his shoulders and back. Eventually, he turned over and I slid his underwear off and gave him a blow job.

We had a weird relationship that lasted over a year. It was a once every couple week kind of thing. He had really odd demands of me. I had to be clean shaven. I always had to be freshly showered. After a while, he developed a thing for me wearing women's panties (don't ask). For me, it was everything I fantasized about. It was not a lovey dovey relationship. He wanted his cock sucked and I did it. Later on, he took me anally. He never reciprocated and I never asked for anything. He would let me jack off afterwards, sometimes, but usually, he'd leave the room.

I could write a lot (and maybe I will) about it all but eventually he left town to pursue a job in law enforcement elsewhere. The whole time, we each had girlfriends.

Then, today, I saw him for the first time in 30 years. He still looked good. Still muscular, still blond haired, still carrying that swagger.

I have to confess that in the last few years, I have cybersnooped (or whatever it's called) him. I've seen his facebook page, I've seen pictures of him. He's married, I'm married. But 31 years ago, he completely controlled and dominated me, sexually. He fulfilled so many fantasies of mine. It was unsettling seeing him today. It was a fluke thing. We didn't talk but nodded at one another. Ever since, all I could do is remember those days of my youth, 18 and 19 years old, taking his cock in my mouth. I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss it.