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  1. #1
    JUB Addict IceColdLover's Avatar
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    Lost all my "fuck buddies"

    Even though I'm taking a sabbatical from sex due to my health and taking care of mom, I seem to be losing guys that I am interested in getting together with on occasion. My twink that I had over twice blocked me on Grindr awhile ago and never came over one Saturday when he said he would and after I gave him $80 for both Friday and Saturday that week. The reason I gave him money is because he needed it for gas and weed allegedly, even though I knew it was more like prostitution, but I couldn't resist that boy and his perfect body. I feel ashamed for giving him money now and not being able to fuck him anymore. I wanted him all the time, but he doesn't know that.

    A straight guy I sucked and rimmed in his van on a country road blocked me on Meetme and ignored my texts today. Not sure what caused that sudden change, but it alarmed me a bit, especially since he enjoyed it and said I did it better than the girls he's been with and we talked about a lot of different things. Straight guy problems on his part I guess?

    Am I a fool for wanting these guys for good sex? I don't have to have sex with them all the time, and I've told them that we can just hang out, but that's not good enough and they go and block me and cut me out. Who else has this kind of bad luck where EVERY single guy you've been with doesn't come back for more and doesn't even consider friendship either? I guess it's awkward to be friends after fucking, but it's even more strange to do it once and never come back, leaves an unpleasant feeling inside you. I feel selfish for wanting sex and the company of a guy, though it helps with my anxiety to be near a guy and I can relax and enjoy being with one.

    I deleted my accounts on Adam4Adam and Grindr, but might go back once I am well again and when mom is better. What bothers me is that if and when I go back, the guys I had sex with from there won't want anything to do with me and the guys I talked to on a friendly level or wanted to talk to will just ignore me. So difficult for me to make friends anymore and/or to find guys I want to hook up with, since my preferred ones are ignoring me and my "options" are dwindling. What does a guy like me do?

  2. #2
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    Re: Lost all my "fuck buddies"

    First of all, I think this thread is better suited for the relationships forum, not fetish.

    Secondly - correct me if I'm wrong but you've only recently started having sex? I think I remember seeing a thread you created a few weeks ago about losing your virginity? Apps and sites like Grindr and A4A are primarily for hooking up; for most people "hooking up" means a single encounter and that's it. The twink you described sounds like he was just using you for money, and the "straight" guy may have been feeling or confused about hooking up with you. I'm also going to presume that while you might have felt some chemistry with them they clearly didn't - and that's fine. Honestly I think when you first start to have sex you're seeking a connection, or at least the act of sex feels more intimate to you than it may for others simply due to a lack of experience. For some people sex can be just sex - a physical act with no emotional attachments - and for others sex carries more meaning. You might be a more "meaningful sex" person even if right now your hormones are telling you they only want the physical side of sex, your mind/heart might be saying something completely different even if you haven't recognised that yet. What I'm trying to say is that it can take some time before you truly learn how you feel about sex, so do your best to roll with the punches until you have some more experience under your belt, and different people want different things, so don't take it personally.

    I'd also suggest that if you're looking for something more than a 1 night stand you're probably looking in the wrong places or have the wrong expectations. Relationships, friendships or even fuck buddy arrangements all require some form of chemistry on both sides - you can't schedule or order an arrangement like that which kind of seems like what you're doing. If you are meeting with somebody from Grindr/A4A/ect my advice would be to go into the encounter expecting to never see that person again - if there is chemistry on both sides something more consistent and regular will develop naturally.

  3. #3
    JUB Addict cocksucker4use's Avatar
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    Re: Lost all my "fuck buddies"

    Sounds like there are some lessons to be learned: NSA is NSA. Whores have no loyalty, and at 40 bucks a pop, the twink could either make more on a Saturday night, OR...be with another twink! Married men to get bj's and rim jobs on country roads are usually conflicted and sometimes desperate. NSA is NSA (reprise). I have had guys that I thought it was happening with, and then never heard back. I've had other fuck buds, married or not, whom I have known for like 7 years, and even after I moved away, they text email me to hookup whenever I am back. Must be because I am such a STUD , OR, possibly because I hook up with people with a compatible sex thing or kink, whatever, and don't hassle them and let them call or text me, or not. Even is they or I miss an appointed meeting, no worries. Stuff happens. In truth, I met one twink was supposed to come over for to get a bj. I ended up fuckin him, and we actually dated and were, if not in love, mutually infatuated and had hella hot sex....and he had his own gas money! LOL. If you want sex from casual hookups, don't try and read more into it. If you make them comfortable and don't pressure them, they will be contacting you for a rematch.

  4. #4
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    Re: Lost all my "fuck buddies"

    Sounds like you want more than "fuck buddies". Maybe you should make the effort to find a guy for a relationship based primarily on the affection.

  5. #5
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    Re: Lost all my "fuck buddies"

    In another thread, I told you that you were desperate for sex. You denied it and called me your mother in an effort to insult me (I wasn't, btw). Now, I am glad to see others are telling you what I am telling you...it is not sex you want, it's love. If you were to read what you wrote from another poster, you would have seen what we are saying. You are servicing men who care nothing for your pleasure, you are paying for sex and being risky about it.

    You may not believe it, but I have never said anything to you for any other reason than for concern for a young gay man making bad choices. You can go on having the kinds of relationships you have had in the past and there will be more guys to replace those who are now rejecting you, but is that really what you want?
    Everyone wants to be heard. No one wants to listen.

  6. #6
    Are u haleloo ya ? Telstra's Avatar
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    Re: Lost all my "fuck buddies"

    No strings attached.
    Thats what happened when you meet people online or people for "fuck buddies" in general.
    They are not your friends.


    NEVER LISTEN TO A ONE SIDED STORY AND JUDGE.

  7. #7
    JUB Addict IceColdLover's Avatar
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    Re: Lost all my "fuck buddies"

    You act like I'm a hooker or something. That twink was the only one I gave money to, because he asked for it, and I halfheartedly agreed to pay him under the guise that he needed it for gas and weed. I've never paid any other guy. Yes, I want love, but I never said anything about going to these sites for love, that's what dating sites are for, and these are hookup sites. At that moment, I wanted lust, and that's what I got. I was hoping that I'd have a fwb or two, but obviously that didn't happen. I'm not concerned with sex right now, I haven't had it in weeks and I am nursing my own health problems right now.

  8. #8
    Porn Star jubdown5's Avatar
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    Re: Lost all my "fuck buddies"

    Quote Originally Posted by IceColdLover View Post
    Even though I'm taking a sabbatical from sex due to my health and taking care of mom, I seem to be losing guys that I am interested in getting together with on occasion. My twink that I had over twice blocked me on Grindr awhile ago and never came over one Saturday when he said he would and after I gave him $80 for both Friday and Saturday that week. The reason I gave him money is because he needed it for gas and weed allegedly, even though I knew it was more like prostitution, but I couldn't resist that boy and his perfect body. I feel ashamed for giving him money now and not being able to fuck him anymore. I wanted him all the time, but he doesn't know that.

    A straight guy I sucked and rimmed in his van on a country road blocked me on Meetme and ignored my texts today. Not sure what caused that sudden change, but it alarmed me a bit, especially since he enjoyed it and said I did it better than the girls he's been with and we talked about a lot of different things. Straight guy problems on his part I guess?

    Am I a fool for wanting these guys for good sex? I don't have to have sex with them all the time, and I've told them that we can just hang out, but that's not good enough and they go and block me and cut me out. Who else has this kind of bad luck where EVERY single guy you've been with doesn't come back for more and doesn't even consider friendship either? I guess it's awkward to be friends after fucking, but it's even more strange to do it once and never come back, leaves an unpleasant feeling inside you. I feel selfish for wanting sex and the company of a guy, though it helps with my anxiety to be near a guy and I can relax and enjoy being with one.

    I deleted my accounts on Adam4Adam and Grindr, but might go back once I am well again and when mom is better. What bothers me is that if and when I go back, the guys I had sex with from there won't want anything to do with me and the guys I talked to on a friendly level or wanted to talk to will just ignore me. So difficult for me to make friends anymore and/or to find guys I want to hook up with, since my preferred ones are ignoring me and my "options" are dwindling. What does a guy like me do?
    I can relate to you 1000% I've met several guys on Grindr and A4A . I've had VERY successful meet ups . One guy I chilled with 5 times and we would text here and there . I hit him up a few days ago, he answered and then suddenly stopped .

    There is also another kid I smoked with then we messed around and every time I texted him he would answer, but never made an effort to hang out .

    It's just really annoying that you can chill with someone multiple times, have fun and then they just stop talking one day . I don't want "strings" just something consistent .

    Out of allllll of the guys I've been with ( a lot ) I don't have any consistent friend with benefits . I've been pursuing guys for 3 years and have had a lot of success, but still nothing solid ... It's so weird .

  9. #9
    Virgin TucsonHorny's Avatar
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    Re: Lost all my "fuck buddies"

    Quote Originally Posted by IceColdLover View Post
    You act like I'm a hooker or something. That twink was the only one I gave money to, because he asked for it, and I halfheartedly agreed to pay him under the guise that he needed it for gas and weed. I've never paid any other guy. Yes, I want love, but I never said anything about going to these sites for love, that's what dating sites are for, and these are hookup sites. At that moment, I wanted lust, and that's what I got. I was hoping that I'd have a fwb or two, but obviously that didn't happen. I'm not concerned with sex right now, I haven't had it in weeks and I am nursing my own health problems right now.
    Stop reading his response like it's an indictment of your choices. In no way is anyone calling you a hooker. Let's be honest, though, "halfheartedly" or not, you did pay a guy to have sex with him, regardless of what the money was supposedly for. Move past it.

    You're looking for something more than just a hookup. I just read this entire thread and that's what I pulled from everything you've said. There's nothing wrong with that, but getting bent out of shape because guys who you thought you had a dynamic with have moved on (and granted, blocking isn't the nicest thing, but it's a means to an end). That means you need to move on, too! There's tons of guys out there and who knows, the twink who blocked you today might unblock you tomorrow or next month or whatever. Enjoy what you get when you get it and stop dwelling on the minute stuff about "why did he stop liking me"?

  10. #10

    Re: Lost all my "fuck buddies"

    I dont know why you think people give a shit dude.

  11. #11
    The Fondling Observer Singularity's Avatar
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    Re: Lost all my "fuck buddies"

    I've realized, when it comes to sex and random hookups, guys have a "reset-button" allowing them to edit other guys out of their (sex) lives, often reflected by their profiles having been deactivated or deleted, and then if you see them pop up a few months later and try to reconnect they ignore you or worse block you revealing the ugly truth behind NSA encounters.

    Men are pigs, you either wanna fuck 'em or kill 'em, anything in between is just finding a reason for it.

  12. #12
    On the Prowl RankPitSFO's Avatar
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    Re: Lost all my "fuck buddies"

    It takes time to develop a nice group of fuck buddies, but it's possible because I have several reliable and very nice guys in my life. Since this is the fetish forum, let me say that my man stink fetish is mentioned in all of my online profiles, so I know that the guys who contact me for a fuck (me on top) usually have this same fetish in common with me. I think that our mutual appreciation for each other's ripe male body odors and dirty undergear keeps things more interesting than a run-of-the-mill suck 'n fuck situation, because we bond over our mutual interests, explore them outwardly in bed, talk about them, and then want to reconnect when the urge to fuck and sniff each other out strikes.

    Perhaps you just need to find buddies that you have something in common with to explore sexually -- some interest that is unusual enough as to be somewhat "special," so that as you get to know your buddies, the more bonded/connected you will become. Finding buddies who share your more personal fantasies and interests and then developing a sexual bond with them has worked for me in that they stick around more often.
    Last edited by RankPitSFO; February 18th, 2015 at 04:14 PM.

  13. #13
    The King of Sorrow... sweet_taboo's Avatar
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    Re: Lost all my "fuck buddies"

    This......
    Quote Originally Posted by RankPitSFO View Post
    It takes time to develop a nice group of fuck buddies, but it's possible...

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