Hi guys. Iím not a very religious person, but Iíve always believed in God and Jesus. Lately, Iím having problems to reconcile my beliefs and my sexual orientation.
Since I was a little kid, I always imagined being with a beautiful woman and forming a family with children. I imagined being a father and educating my children with joy (I still do it when I see a child). But when I started to realize I was gay, I repudiated it because I didnít want to be so. I knew it would bring complications in the future and I wanted to change.
So I went like that for a few years in my teens. I even researched about psychological theories of why people are gay and about supposed transformation therapies to stop being homosexual. However, I noticed that most people who had participated of these therapies had developed a great sense of frustration in their lives and that the range of suicides of these patients was very high. Therefore, over time I came to accept the fact that I was born like this and it was not my fault. I was just created this way. And without actually accepting 100% at least at my 20ís I was living with the supposed certainty that being was gay was not wrong.
However, during this last two years many "coincidences" and important situations in my life have occurred that have made my faith in God to grow quite. Especially in the last three months, I have lived some serious events that could directly relate to my sexual orientation and could be interpreted as God is calling my attention.
I know many of you are atheists or those who believe in God are assured that if you're gay is because He made you like this. But I cannot just ignore the fact of the evil concept that The Bible has about gay people, and I need to know how to reconcile my beliefs with what I am.
I hope you can give some advice, especially from the Christian point of view (if there are some around here) and I have lot of uncertainty.