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  1. #1
    JUB Addict mikey3000's Avatar
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    Poly relationships

    So, what have been your experiences with them? Was it MMF, MFF, MMM, FFF? What were the intentions going into it, what happened and how did it end?
    Inspired - but too tired.

  2. #2
    Of Nightmares & Secrets. MoufOfKhaos's Avatar
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    Re: Poly relationships

    Never been in or seen one, and would only be in one with an out bi or gay man who treats both partners equally, rather than trying to be, say, with a woman because she has a vagina but still wants to be with a man because he likes to bottom for a real dick rather than a strap-on.
    "I snuff their tongues, my heart a-flutter,

    These words i speak are gates to Hell..."

  3. #3
    JUB Addict luckynumbah7's Avatar
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    Re: Poly relationships

    Quote Originally Posted by mikey3000 View Post
    So, what have been your experiences with them? Was it MMF, MFF, MMM, FFF? What were the intentions going into it, what happened and how did it end?
    Exactly which type of poly are you referencing? There's open relationships, triad (and other multiplications), There's one person in the relationship who isn't poly while the other is and who persues outside relationships (with their partners knowledge, dammit), and lo, there's also being poly in a relationship but not dating/seeing each others' partners. And other permutations.

    The current one has a couple 'fwb' situations and one platonic life partner who I am most emphatically not dating. Although everyone else seems to think we're married, which I've come to the conclusion happens when you live with someone for a while. Also on the lookout for a possible dom or couple relationship, but they tend to be hard since most already-cemented couples who're new to the concept tend towards not being able to discuss things like adults. Doesn't help that it seems like half the couples are opening their relationship in an attempt to save it, which I want nothing to do with since that doesn't take the place of actual conversation about their current issues in their relationships. Then there's finding a dom who hasn't conceptualized the thing by reading "Fifty Shades of Stupid".
    If I blow your mind, do you promise not to think in my mouth? - Unknown

  4. #4
    JUB Addict mikey3000's Avatar
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    Re: Poly relationships

    Quote Originally Posted by luckynumbah7 View Post
    ...There's one person in the relationship who isn't poly while the other is and who persues outside relationships (with their partners knowledge, dammit)...
    LOL!! Oh, IDK, let's say, this one .
    Inspired - but too tired.

  5. #5
    JUB Addict luckynumbah7's Avatar
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    Re: Poly relationships

    Quote Originally Posted by mikey3000 View Post
    LOL!! Oh, IDK, let's say, this one .
    Heh, your situation then. Mine's a bit different, we're not married and it's platonic. Has been for the past six or seven years and I don't see that changing. I do plan on having a live-in partner but not until we've a house instead of this tiny apartment, since the roomie and I are stuck in a one bedroom once again. I couldn't conscious a third person in there, it would drive everyone batty. Also haven't found one I clicked with well enough yet, although I do have high hopes for the one who tends to travel. We'll see, I suppose.

    There's a poly group on fetlife that has quite the level of various discussions involving poly, registration is free. Seeing the oodles of posts here, you might be interested in it simply for the plethora of various experiences. I think most people here are prolly in a conventional relationship.
    If I blow your mind, do you promise not to think in my mouth? - Unknown

  6. #6
    JUB Addict The Fly's Avatar
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    Re: Poly relationships

    I saw "poly" and thought,... blow up dolls.................WTF??? ..............LOL

  7. #7

    Re: Poly relationships

    I've had bottoms who wanted to bring another bottom guy in so it's something I have thought about.

    It's probably something that will come up more after the het style gay marriage becomes old news.

  8. #8
    JUB Addict cgymike's Avatar
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    Re: Poly relationships

    I hate Polygrams, Polyester, Aunt Polly, Polytechnics....just bad ok.

    Polygram was a so so record label tho...
    Your post comments are forwarded to the CIA.

  9. #9
    I need water Kabluey's Avatar
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    Re: Poly relationships

    I can't even hold a conversation with more than one person at a time.
    Blah blah blah, something enigmatic sounding...

  10. #10

    Re: Poly relationships

    A billion or so years ago I was in a MFM relationship. Looking back in my naivete, at the time I thought it was kinda bliss. My GF at the time and I just kinda took in and adopted a co-worker of hers for a while. I slept in the middle, and it was about the most content I think I've ever been.

    Eventually he moved on and she and I broke up. I later came to the realization that I missed him more than her, and that I was indeed gay instead of the Bi/curious/adventurous I thought I was at the time.

    Now days I'm pretty much in the One on One frame of mind... but I could see where maybe under the right circumstances, I could do a MMM relationship.
    http://www.justusboys.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic216959_1.gif

  11. #11
    JUB Addict SaskGuy's Avatar
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    Re: Poly relationships

    I have nothing against it. In fact, a lot of people argue that monogamous relationships are unnatural to human behaviour. Hey, whatever works for the couples. Some want only one partner, and others want several at a time.

    Also, when I saw the title, I immediately thought of this stuff... haha I'm so BUTCH! :P

  12. #12
    PerScientiam AdJustitiam bankside's Avatar
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    Re: Poly relationships

    No experience with it and I'm rather more particular about relationships than most. I think it is easy to make a case why they are legitimate but not typing on my phone.
    Americans need to keep their guns so they can protect themselves from gun violence just like Nancy Lanza did. And like Chris Kyle did. And like Gabby Giffords did. And like Tom Clements did. And like Michael Piemonte. And Joseph Wilcox.

  13. #13
    Sex God otters's Avatar
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    Re: Poly relationships

    Quote Originally Posted by cgymike View Post
    I hate Polygrams, Polyester, Aunt Polly, Polytechnics....just bad ok.

    Polygram was a so so record label tho...
    Hasn't someone told you that you should urgently dedust your record player, hm?

  14. #14

    Re: Poly relationships

    I have nothing against them but they are definitely not for me. Would never even consider one.

    I'm curious how long they last and how content each person usually is though.

  15. #15
    PerScientiam AdJustitiam bankside's Avatar
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    Re: Poly relationships

    Okay here's my logic:
    We used to believe that people should be virgins, fuck the one and only one person they were married to, and then die. None of this "poly" stuff. No playing the field first. No "no strings attached." Having sex was serious business. It required the approval of the families involved and the society.

    But even then, people were allowed to re-marry if their partner died. They were allowed to fall in love with and lust after and have sex with another completely different person than the one they were first with.

    Not everyone did. Queen Victoria put on a black gown and spend the next 40 years of her life in weeping solitude. (at least publicly)

    But apart from her example it is pretty clear that we have the capacity to open up to more than one person and find joy with them. I'm not sure there is any good reason why that needs to happen in sequence, and only when someone dies.

    If I think of my own life with my guy, I would not want him to put on a black gown and weep in solitude. I would want him to find another guy who is as spectacular as I am and be with him. And even have really good sex. With someone else, other than me. I think a little bit about the character and the quality of the person he might find, but I can't say I worry about that because he set the bar for me after all, and I'm spectacular. (see above).

    The fact that I can sit here, right now, picturing him having really fucking amazing sex with someone else who is not me does not even begin to touch the love I have for him. It can't touch the loyalty. I just think I'd be sad to be gone, but happy for him. Being happy for him is what I signed up for.

    Then I picture instead of being dead that someone has a time machine and a transporter room or something, and suddenly things have changed and I'm not dead. If that's too sci-fi for you, imagine I've been kidnapped and was parachuted out of a plane over the amazon where I spent 8 years living in a jungle village struggling to get back to a city, and it was only assumed that I was a corpse.

    The point is, there I am alive, and I'm highly deeply enthusiastic about it, and I find it vastly preferable to being dead. And then what? Am I miserable to see him happy with someone else? No. Is he miserable to see the first love of his life alive? No. Has he now got the possibility of two relationships? Two relationships that nobody would ever question if they were sequential? Two relationships that everybody would be happy for him to have and to congratulate him on his good luck, but only if I died first? Hmmm. That doesn't seem right somehow.

    At this point I should point out I can't help thinking about bizarre impossible situations like this, because if you can figure out the extremes on either end, then it leaves lots of possibilities open for our fairly ordinary lives in the middle.

    The funny thing is, this thought experiment based on purely Victorian morality of virginity until marriage and then monogamy until death does you part. What if death doesn't do its part for Victorian morals? And the more I think about it, why should I want it to at all?

    It's clear to me that love and loyalty can extend to more than one person, even in the most traditional of morality. Well, I suppose there is an exception in some parts of India where a woman is expected to burn herself to death on her cremating husband if he dies first. But generally, we accept as a society that people can have multiple legitimate love interests as long as it is one at a time. I don't know why that should be the rule.
    Last edited by bankside; September 15th, 2014 at 04:03 PM.
    Americans need to keep their guns so they can protect themselves from gun violence just like Nancy Lanza did. And like Chris Kyle did. And like Gabby Giffords did. And like Tom Clements did. And like Michael Piemonte. And Joseph Wilcox.

  16. #16
    Sex God otters's Avatar
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    Re: Poly relationships

    Quote Originally Posted by bankside View Post
    Okay here's my logic:
    (…)
    It's clear to me that love and loyalty can extend to more than one person, even in the most traditional of morality. Well, I suppose there is an exception in some parts of India where a woman is expected to burn herself to death on her cremating husband if he dies first. But generally, we accept as a society that people can have multiple legitimate love interests as long as it is one at a time. I don't know why that should be the rule.
    flawless reasoning.

  17. #17
    Come again? dereperez's Avatar
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    Re: Poly relationships

    Whatever floats one's boat and tickles their G-spot. I don't think it could work for me if it were to get serious and committed. I'm a one-on-one kind of guy.
    If I had a flower for every time I thought of you…I could walk through my garden forever.
    -Alfred Tennyson.

  18. #18
    JUB Addict cgymike's Avatar
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    Re: Poly relationships

    More feckless attempts to justify so called bisexuality.


    Pathetic and useless!
    Your post comments are forwarded to the CIA.

  19. #19
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    Re: Poly relationships

    My partner and I had many MMM's when we first got together. 4 years ago I had an MMF with a str8 hot room mate and a girl he picked up at a club he did her I sucked him off and rimmed him while he fucked her I got myself off 3 times lol.

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