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  1. #1
    On the Prowl BelovedEnigma's Avatar
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    Using my last nerve to lace my boots

    Hello,

    I've decided to post here to vent and ask for any advice that might help me deal with the stress I'm going through. Okay, I have been married for 13 years to my best friend from high school and we have three children together. We have had our share of problems, like coming to terms with my sexuality, but we always seemed to figure things out together. And for the most part we have had a happy life together. But this past year has been exceedingly rough for us. My wife lost her father unexpectantly in an accident 8 months ago and everything seems to be spiraling downhill ever since. My wife took his death very hard and has been stuggling with depression and anxiety, coupled with some medical problems. Two months ago I quit my job of 10 yrs because my employeer and BIL was saying ill things about my wife, children, and myself. At first I thought that I would have more time to take care of my familys personal needs. Of course that didnt last long before my wife quit her job sending us into financal hardship. This sent my wife into an alcahol and drug abuse spiral that made me give her an ultimatum of no drinking and drugs or I was leaving with the kids. While this is going on Im also dealing with her bank to get her car back from repo and deal with her wreaking her mothers car, and picking her up from work because she sounds baked out of her mind that gets her fired from her second job. She swears it was because she was exhausted and I knew she wasnt and still isnt sleeping well to this day although she lays in bed until 12 everyday and falls asleep on the couch the rest of the day. After this all happened things seemed to level out and we both recieved calls for job interviews. When it seemed like we might be pulling through we get papers in the mail for allegations of misconduct for my wifes professional license. So this has been my life for the past months. I am completely drained and feel like I'm barely keeping my familys heads above water. My house looks like a war zone because three kids and two barely functional parents doesnt go well together although its not like she helped clean before.

    Idk... I feel like a failure as a father and a husband...
    You're just ugly enough to be wise.

  2. #2
    JUB Addict HunterM's Avatar
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    Re: Using my last nerve to lace my boots

    I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. Your family needs you to lead to get through this. BUT...you need help. You cannot do all of this by yourself.

    Go get counseling for your wife for her drug and alcohol abuse and her depression. Get counseling for the whole family for emotional & financial support. Hopefully, these professionals would be able to help you manage the situation better. Look back to learn from it so you can move forward for the better. Don't look back and start placing blame on yourself or anyone else. This is not the time to do that.

    Wish you the best, buddy!
    Last edited by HunterM; July 30th, 2014 at 11:15 PM.

  3. #3
    Lascivious Lush altlover85's Avatar
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    Re: Using my last nerve to lace my boots

    It sounds like things are very difficult for you right now and I'm very sorry to hear that.

    I second HunterM's advice and one thing I would suggest that might help is to just google "breathing exercises" as I've found that taking a deep breath and/or just being more aware of my breathing can help me get out of the negativity that I can feel at times.

    The most important thing for me to tell you is that you shouldn't feel like a failure at all. You are doing the best you can and sometimes bad things happen to good people. I think it's commendable that you are able to keep things going given the circumstances.

    Best of luck and thanks for having the courage to post here and ask for some advice. I think it's a great first step!

  4. #4
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    Re: Using my last nerve to lace my boots

    you can do it alone.


  5. #5
    On the Prowl BelovedEnigma's Avatar
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    Re: Using my last nerve to lace my boots

    One day at a time I guess. Today was one of the better days I've had in awhile. Don't know if it was the venting, advice, or the pot of coffee I consumed this morning. I had much more energy today and took the wife and kids out to the park. Heres to hoping tmrw will be just as good.

    Thanks for the advice so far! I am currently reasearching counselors in our area. Hopefully I can find a good one thats not too expensive. I am also a believer of meditative exercises and breathing techniques but I think it's something I've done instinctively. As for taking the kids and calling it quits, I have concidered it I just don't want to give up just yet. Even if our romantic relastionship is at an end, she really is my best friend. I would want to get her to a better place before we go down that road.

  6. #6
    JUB Addict HunterM's Avatar
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    Re: Using my last nerve to lace my boots

    Sounds like a good plan!

    Lead your whole family toward meditation. If everyone around you is more relaxed, you will be more relaxed as well.

  7. #7
    🌈❤️ June26, 2015 ❤️🌈 JUB Moderator Seasoned's Avatar
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    Re: Using my last nerve to lace my boots

    She'll need to tackle her depression. A drug and alcohol assessment also seems to be in order. Don't make threats you won't keep. It will put you in the dark hole of co-dependency.
    "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."--Dr. Seuss

  8. #8

    Re: Using my last nerve to lace my boots

    You never failed. You're the only one there trying to keep things together, and you must be a pillar of strength now. I know this must be hard, andwe can't even imagine what's going on, but you must really take the job. Your wife needs help, and if she can't have a job, she really should take care of the house at least. Is there anyone who can help with the kids? Grandparents maybe?

  9. #9
    On the Prowl BelovedEnigma's Avatar
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    Re: Using my last nerve to lace my boots

    Wow! It's been almost a year since my last post. I can't believe how fast this year has gone by. Well it's about time for a bit of an update I guess. Since I last posted I managed to support by family myself up to April when we moved out of the area. My wife was offered a really good job and I was finally hoping our luck had started to turn around. I had gotten my wife to see a counselor and she started on some depression medication that seemed to be helping her through a lot of her hard times. I also think I had gotten through to her about her drinking/drugs after I had to call her friends and family to get her under control one night. I think the worst part of that night was that she kept trying to talk to the kids all drunk and whacked out of her mind. I think I've never been more hurt and scared for my family than that night. But after that night she seemed to settle down and she focused on getting this new job which took us across the state. I agreed that maybe a change would do us good and we could make a new go of things. We got the car out of repo and the matter with her license was cleared. Things seemed to be getting back on track. Even the kids where excited to be moving. It didn't last long, one month after the move she quit her job. Unemployed for a month! Car back in repo, just barely got the rent paid, both bank accounts overdrawn, sold my wedding ring for food for the kids. I had to put up with another of her drunken nights. After that night, our relationship is in the crapper. I told her I would only stay because of the kids. It's to the point that I took the kids and spent an entire week at my parents house. I've only been back with my wife a week and it feels like a month. I don't believe in God and I caught myself praying for some kind of good turn of events. So for right now everything is in limbo. She starts another new job soon, I can only hope that we can fix some of our financial problems and reduce the stress. I said I was willing to clear the slate again for a fresh try, but I'm just not sure if it's going to happen this time. I might be too bitter and resentful.
    You're just ugly enough to be wise.

  10. #10
    🌈❤️ June26, 2015 ❤️🌈 JUB Moderator Seasoned's Avatar
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    Re: Using my last nerve to lace my boots

    Geographical moves to make things better is common among addicts. Things will only get worse unless she stops using. No amount of talking, threatening or screaming will change things. A new job will be only one more thing to lose. Now, why are you not looking for work?
    Last edited by Seasoned; June 19th, 2015 at 10:46 PM.
    "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."--Dr. Seuss

  11. #11
    On the Prowl BelovedEnigma's Avatar
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    Re: Using my last nerve to lace my boots

    It was part of the deal. I would stay with the kids until summer was over and they went back to school. I'm pretty much at the point that either she will live up to her commitment or I will go. I'm not listed as a tenant on the lease, only an occupant, so hopefully the landlord won't sue me if I leave and she doesn't pay. As much as it will pain me to move back in with my parents I would have a place to lay my head. I also left on very good terms with my last job so if they have an open position I would have a job the next day. She truly is my best friend and I love her but we have grown far apart over the last couple years. I told her the other day I want the amazing girl I fell in love with in high school back. I know that will never really happen but I thought it might spark some recollection of who she once was. We had so much fun laughing and acting like idiots together. We didn't care what anyone thought as long as we were together, we were happy.
    You're just ugly enough to be wise.

  12. #12
    🌈❤️ June26, 2015 ❤️🌈 JUB Moderator Seasoned's Avatar
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    Re: Using my last nerve to lace my boots

    You're going to have to take care of yourself and the kids. She seems to be an addict that so far has not accepted her condition. There's no way to convince her to get help and she is unable to stop on her own volition. She is powerless over alcohol and drugs and you are powerless over her usage.

    Your kids are growing up in a dysfunctional family and you all need help. Staying with her in these circumstances is enabling her.

    All bets and arrangements are off when it comes to caring for children. You need money to care for them. They need to be safe and feel safe.

    Your current arrangement is working for no one. Have you ever attended an Al-Anon meeting?
    "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."--Dr. Seuss

  13. #13
    JUB Addict Georgiadude's Avatar
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    Re: Using my last nerve to lace my boots

    as a recovering addict I can tell you your life and situation isn't going to get any better until she gets into a treatment program. Right now you need to focus on your children. you need to get them away from her asap. move back to your parents and get your job back. at this point you have to put your kids first. Right now her addiction is running the show. until she gets professional help and some extended clean time her illness is going to reek havoc on all of your lives. Your children need stability in their lives and seeing their mother in this state is not good for them. your wife isn't going to be the same person you fell in love with until she is clean and sober for a long time. I don't believe in "hitting rock bottom". she's going to continue doing what she's doing until she decides she's had enough. you can't wait around got that to happen. move, get a job, give your children a clean, stable place to call home and once your wife gets her act together slowly allow her back into your lives. I strongly advise you to get them into therapy and attending alanon meetings will help. I hope things work out

    Steven

  14. #14
    On the Prowl BelovedEnigma's Avatar
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    Re: Using my last nerve to lace my boots

    Thank you for your words of wisdom. I have much to think about. I have not attended an Al-anon meeting but took some time to look at their website. A few clicks and realizations I guess…
    You're just ugly enough to be wise.

  15. #15
    JUB Addict Georgiadude's Avatar
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    Re: Using my last nerve to lace my boots

    your wife is suffering from a disease that she has no control over. addiction is a terrible disease that can hit anyone. old or young.....rich or poor. ....it doesn't discriminate. she's lost control of her life and addiction is running the show. without professional help she'll most likely never get her life back. the disease of addiction is like any other disease, left untreated it just gets worse and worse. it leaves a trail of destruction in its wake. it will make a person do things they never thought they were capable of doing. that doesn't mean she's not responsible for her actions. she is. but the disease is not in remission and she doesn't have control of herself. this turmoil is going to continue until she decides she's had enough. she's not seeing the damage she's causing and she won't until the consequences of her actions get to be too much. she's not thinking clearly and it's showing in her actions. she's lost several jobs, walked out on others knowing your family needed the income, had trouble with her professional license. .. those are just a few things that you've told us about. I guarantee there's a lot more that we don't know about.

    al anon is a good resource. look into narc anon as well. it's similar to al anon but deals with drugs and alcohol. whether it's alcohol or drugs, the disease is the same. it's just a different substance. I know it's hard to deal with but like I said in my other post, you need to put the kids first and get them out of that chaos. maybe losing her family will be the catalyst to get her into treatment. obviously I don't know how the communication is between you and her but you could sit down with her and tell her you're taking the kids and moving unless she gets into treatment immediately. not a week or a month from now. you mean right now. a mini intervention if you will. if that doesn't do it then leave. don't argue with her or let her try to talk you out of it. you have to be firm and straight forward with her. remember she's not herself. addicts are very good at manipulating people and making them feel guilty. they'll rationalize almost anything. if you've already had that talk with her follow through with what you said you were going to do.

    feel free to pm me if you want.

    Steven

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    On the Prowl BelovedEnigma's Avatar
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    Re: Using my last nerve to lace my boots

    Thank you, Steven for the advice. I'm seriously thinking about attending a meeting and seeing how it goes. I know it would be helpful, I just need to overcome the mental hurdle that is stopping me. I also need to be able to fit it into my schedule. I have a job offer tomorrow that I'll most likely take. I just have this feeling that things are only going to get worse before they get better.
    You're just ugly enough to be wise.

  17. #17
    JUB Addict Georgiadude's Avatar
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    Re: Using my last nerve to lace my boots

    you're welcome. I've been fighting addiction for many years. I've been clean for 8 years. believe me. I know the havoc addiction causes to the addict and those around them. May I ask what your "mental hurdle" is? you can pm me if you don't want to make it public. trust me. the people at the al anon meeting will be more than welcoming and will not judge you. I know taking that first step and going to a meeting can be intimidating but you'll find a lot of support from the group. give it a try. if that particular meeting isn't for you don't give up. try another location. I've attended many different groups. some are really good and some just werent a good fit. I honestly think you'll like it. it helps to know you're not the only person who's struggling with an addicted loved one. there will be people from all races, religions, and socio economic classes. remember addiction doesn't discriminate. it can attack anyone. billionaires to street people. some people view AA, NA & al anon as a "cult". NOTHING could be further from the truth. they're support groups. nothing will be forced on you and it doesn't cost anything to attend.

    good luck with the interview and I really hope you give the meetings a try.

    Steven

  18. #18

    Re: Using my last nerve to lace my boots

    What on Gods green Earth inspired you to quit your job until you had a new. HUGE error. I am a Director of Marketing for 4 states and if you are not working an gave me that excuse, I woulld save you have poor judgement at times. You do what I had to do years ago just keep showing up, as iin being involved in the relationship. I am gay and I have lived with my husbannd for 25 andd have a stedy boyfriend for 8 years who got tossed in the state pen for 2 yeaars annd he iis miserable. He's costing me $240 a month and is so controling and miserablle I am ready to call it quits. But kids do that as adults we should honor them and work as hard as we can to keep them.

  19. #19
    On the Prowl BelovedEnigma's Avatar
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    Re: Using my last nerve to lace my boots

    I'm not sure to which job you’re referring to. If it was the first job, I quit because I was unhappy working there. I think my brother-in-law's behavior pushed me over the edge. If you’re referring to the second job, the reason I quit was to move to another location because my wife got a very good job offer. Both jobs have expressed interest in hiring me back which should say a lot about my character. In both instances my wife was employed when I resigned my jobs. I'm sorry you feel that I exhibited poor judgment, but if I'm correct in reading the tone in your script it seems it is just that, judgment. We each hold to our own ethical and moral standards; I'm sorry but neither your approval nor condemnation will change mine. I understand that in relationships "just showing up" can be a large part of the battle, but to me that seems lack lustered if a truly loving and meaningful relationship is the goal. I think this holds true for both professional and romantic relationships. I would much rather employee an individual who enjoys coming to work and is enthusiastic than one that is just there for a paycheck and is miserable. The same goes for romantic relationships. I will always love my wife whether I'm standing next to her or from afar. My love for her will not change, but I do not need or want to be a victim of her behaviors and poor choices.
    You're just ugly enough to be wise.

  20. #20
    🌈❤️ June26, 2015 ❤️🌈 JUB Moderator Seasoned's Avatar
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    Re: Using my last nerve to lace my boots

    Do yourself a lot of good by reading up on the disease of alcoholism and also on the topic of codependency. There are limited consequences for an active alcoholic- incarceration, wet brain, death or recovery. And you, in order to have a healthy life, need to stop enabling her. So far, she hasn't seemed to have faced any consequences.
    "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."--Dr. Seuss

  21. #21
    On the Prowl BelovedEnigma's Avatar
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    Re: Using my last nerve to lace my boots

    Thanks Seasoned, I've read a bit about alcoholism and now that you mentioned codependency I will focus more on that. I also looked up a local Al anon meeting and got as far as sitting in the parking lot watching people walk in until my own insecurities took over.

  22. #22
    On the Prowl BelovedEnigma's Avatar
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    Re: Using my last nerve to lace my boots

    I guess it's time for a bit of an update. So after doing some research I put into action a plan of "loving detachment." I made a promise to myself that I would stop trying to fix my wife's problems. I have enough of my own dealing with the kids, work, and the house. I can tell that it is taking it's toll on my wife. Although she is going to work every day and has not used alcohol, as far as I know; she has fallen into a habit of sleeping or confining herself in our bedroom when she is at home. I fear that she is falling into a more depressed state.

    She also has a habit of calling me when she's at work and giving me an earful about all these things she wants to accomplish but rarely follows through on them. The worst is when she does this with the kids. In the past I've had to be there holding her hand or completely take care of it so my kids didn't feel like they were lied to. I've talked to her numerous times how it's inappropriate but it never seems to completely sink in. Now that I've been implementing my "plan" I feel really bad that my kids are going to have to learn this hard lesson.

    Financially, we are slowly clawing our way from the bottom of the hole but it will be a long drawn out lesson that I hope we both will remember. That's my life right now... some days are better than others but at least I have a plan that will hopefully work for the long haul.
    You're just ugly enough to be wise.

  23. #23
    On the Prowl BelovedEnigma's Avatar
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    Re: Using my last nerve to lace my boots

    So I've been having a series of rough days and slipped into a depressed mood of late. I spent much of yesterday laying around, mostly in bed, thinking about stuff. The interesting part was I had thought to myself I never dream or more likely never remember my dreams once I'm awake. But this morning I had a very vivid dream that I'm going to record here for posterity and I think some may enjoy it. I'm not the best story teller so you may have to bear with me...

    ~~~~~

    It started with me walking through my parents house and there seemed to be a gathering of people because I could hear voices and music playing. Soft music, something one would hear in an elevator or developing more into the glossy tones of slow jazz. It was surreal and I walked / glided through the rooms and hallways. I didn't talk to anyone and no one seemed to notice my presence. I came to stand in my glassed in porch with its large windows over looking a pasture of tall green grass that gently swayed in the warm summer breeze. On the burgundy painted concrete floor were half a dozen blue and red play mats. I remember they were red side down because the two different reds clashed completely and they were weighted down almost smashing the red part out of sight. Surely, if someone would try to pick one up or move them they would make that strangely enjoyable sound of humid sticky dried paint.

    The best part of this room was what was weighing down the mats. Each mat had a beautiful male specimen differing in build, eye color, hair color, ethnicity, and state of arousal. The men all sat on their knees pleasantly smiling as I slowly walked from one end to the other admiring the different shapes of their human forms. I reached the far end and stopped short in front of one particularly pleasant form. I held my breath as my eyes ran over his creamy tanned skin. I remember he had dusty brown hair, dark liquid golden eyes with green flecks, and his face showed his European desent in his high cheek bones, strong jawline, and pouty but masculine red lips. He was the only one not smiling and gave off a haughty attitude. I dare say he could have been a Bel Ami model. I felt a strange connection to him as we looked each other over.

    The scene darkens like a heavy eye lid closing and opening to me leading him into my old room and onto a low formed king bed. Beyond the bed there are no walls to speak of, yet there is some unseen barrier that keeps us from being disturbed. I know there are other people milling around the house but my complete attention was then turned to the warm soft skin pressing slowly down against my complete nakedness and the sweet taste of his lips. I enjoyed the weight of his body ontop of me and the pleasures of gliding my fingertips through his hair down the nape of his neck between his shoulder blades and lower back then faintly across his bare bottom to which added a slight shiver to his grinding hips. I relished in our too few minutes of snogging until with the swiftness of a cheetah he pivoted on one knee and swung his body a 180.

    My heart pounded as he lowered his proud manhood against my face. I remember the smell of soap mingled with pre-cum. I opened my mouth to receive him and ran my tongue over his tip. The saltiness enflamed my taste buds and sent sparks up to my brain. Deeper into my mouth until my uvula was pushed aside and his gland inched down my throat. What a strange and surprisingly pleasant feeling. A feeling of complete surrender and trust. He had sufficent length to reach my Adam's apple and his girth was enough to make me concentrate on relaxing my throat muscles. One of my favorite sensations was his silky smooth balls resting over my eyes, then sliding down the ridge of my nose to my upper lip. If I had the talent I would want him to stuff his fleshy bag into my mouth too but I couldn't accommodate him. So I instead settled on using my nose to gently nudge his sack and prenium which made my throat work his shaft.

    Between my legs I could feel him lovingly taking me into his mouth. The sensations of his tongue lapping my balls and leaving a trail of saliva in his wake drove me to madness. As swiftly as his crotch had appeared in my face he was gone only to appear laying pressed against me head to head. His member snuggled into the crease of my thigh and mine in his. Together we lurched and jostled moaning into each others mouths. I tried to breath him into me, steal his essence from his mouth but only received his tongue exploring, fighting my own for dominance. I remember wanting him inside me, for him to take my innocence. It wouldn't be pain like before it would only be rapture. Suddenly, his aggressiveness was abandoned and he slinked purring to my side resting his head into the crook of my neck. My head was a buzz of muffled voices and my hand absent mindedly played with the slickness on my thigh. I remember taking one large white mass and rolling it between my thumb and index finger when the words rang through. "I love you! I don't want to leave here."

    I knew that wasn't going to be a possibility. This wasn't even my house! Or he may have been referring to this dream state. I curled my arms around him to hold him tighter against me. To my surprise he felt some how smaller in my arms. His eyes filled with tears from a deep ocean of emotion. I wanted only to make his wish my life long ambition. I held tight but it was though he was slipping between my fingers. So it came to the point where my arms were almost empty. Instead of the gorgeous man in my arms clinging to my body was a strange withered skinned lizard looking thing. He was different shades of green with a long cylindrical body. His skin was warm to the touch and had the scaly repulsion I get with reptiles, but I knew he wasn't something to fear. I ran my hands down his long body trying to covey comfort and support.

    I had some innate sense that this person had been cruelly misunderstood and the withered form before me was the result. Sitting there looking into those sweet innocent eyes, the eyes I knew I loved, I resolved to return him to his genuine form. I willed myself to stand and before my sheet crumpled bed stood fully clothed in my finest and tightest pin stripped suit. I liked this suit the most. I filled it out nicely in all the right places; it definitely gave me a sense of power. The power I'd need to complete my task. Carefully, I draped my new friend across my shoulders and he instinctively settled next to my skin. He playfully nipped my earlobe and I chuckled flashing a sly smile his way. I lifted one foot out with no idea where we were going but my determination drove me.

    In an instant we stood in front of a moderately sized house with white siding, black shudders, and large circular concrete porch. The grey lawn adorned the bleakness that oozed like mist around the house. There was a crowd gathering around the front stoop, their faces grim and twisted in a strange assortments of expressions. As we walked closer I found that we towered two feet taller than the crowd. I pressed through the crowd closing on the front door. I could feel the warmth of my green friend reach under my shirt collar with a strange vibration running from his head to toe. I reached up resting my hand upon my collar bone overtop of my scared friend. I extended my arm and fingers to press the single white button ringed with silver to summon the occupants. Before I had the chance, I was staring into the worn, weathered face of an older woman. The lines of her face were deep with years of a hard life. Her skin was as grey as the hair that hung in straight severe lines framing her face. The only color in her complexion were her two liquid golden eyes with green flecks. My heart broke, and I tried stifling my sharp intake of breath. I looked into those eyes and I... smiled. Her eyes changed, I could see the complex emotions behind her eyes: doubt, fear, but tinged with intrigue.

    I once again raised my arm and gently rested it on my collar bone. The shivering there was replaced with a soothing warmth. As the old woman drew her eyes to my hand see noticed my strange adornment. Her eyes grew wide and fierce. I could feel the greyness swell around her like an inflated balloon ready to burst. I was ready and wanted to scream or tear at her like a wild animal. Instead she caught me in her stare and she searched my eyes leading into my soul. She blinked first and a few clear tears rolled down her cheeks. She stepped backwards into the gloom and was gone.

    I sat on the top step of the stoop and held my friend in a warm embrace. In my arms he grew in stature and girth until a boy of 18 sat next to me. With our arms intertwined we reveled in our closeness. Colors of deep greens, dark browns, and hues of orange drifted in pushing the grey away. He caressed his head against my shoulder and I opened my liquid gold, green flaked eyes to a new day.

    ~~~~~

    Interestingly, I felt pretty good for the rest of the day.

  24. #24
    Know thyself kallipolis's Avatar
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    Re: Using my last nerve to lace my boots

    “Manhood” won’t do, for it's far too archaic, and reminiscent of the days when uplifting pornagraphic fiction masqueraded as serious literature appropriately wrapped between brown covers. Please don’t abuse your leading man by calling his wang a petzel. Be certain not to call it something trivial like cock, far too common for the devoted reader of cheap erotica. Demonstrate a little respect, and opt for a metaphor such as "staff" especially, if you don’t mind sounding aloof. You could go for “rod” perhaps, a little too Boons and Mills. Be absolutely certain not letting the reader hear you refer to it as “Tiny Tim.”

    Now back to the cappuccino...

  25. #25
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    Re: Using my last nerve to lace my boots

    Hang in there you will get through it!

  26. #26
    On the Prowl BelovedEnigma's Avatar
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    Re: Using my last nerve to lace my boots

    Quote Originally Posted by kallipolis View Post
    “Manhood” won’t do, for it's far too archaic, and reminiscent of the days when uplifting pornagraphic fiction masqueraded as serious literature appropriately wrapped between brown covers. Please don’t abuse your leading man by calling his wang a petzel. Be certain not to call it something trivial like cock, far too common for the devoted reader of cheap erotica. Demonstrate a little respect, and opt for a metaphor such as "staff" especially, if you don’t mind sounding aloof. You could go for “rod” perhaps, a little too Boons and Mills. Be absolutely certain not letting the reader hear you refer to it as “Tiny Tim.”

    Now back to the cappuccino...
    You made me smile, my day is better already! Thanks You!

  27. #27
    On the Prowl BelovedEnigma's Avatar
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    Re: Using my last nerve to lace my boots

    Quote Originally Posted by lambdaboy View Post
    Hang in there you will get through it!
    Thank You! I know I will!

  28. #28
    🌈❤️ June26, 2015 ❤️🌈 JUB Moderator Seasoned's Avatar
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    Re: Using my last nerve to lace my boots

    Quote Originally Posted by BelovedEnigma View Post
    Thanks Seasoned, I've read a bit about alcoholism and now that you mentioned codependency I will focus more on that. I also looked up a local Al anon meeting and got as far as sitting in the parking lot watching people walk in until my own insecurities took over.
    It can take a long while to muster up the courage to walk into a meeting. Do know that you don't have to participate or share. That is up to you. Many people if not most come to their first meeting feeling alone and afraid.

    Please feel free to pm me anytime.
    "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."--Dr. Seuss

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