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  1. #1

    To meet or not to meet?

    Hello,

    As many of you know I recently posted how I am in the midst of an identity crisis and kind of freaking out the last few weeks http://www.justusboys.com/forum/thre...ome-things-out

    So at the same time as all this is going on, for the first time I start looking online (other than craigslist) for people to potentially meet to test the waters so to speak. Now I am not out to anyone other than my mother kind-of as explained in the thread above, but In my searches online I find a guy I went to high school with a few years under me who is listed as BI, which I could not believe.

    The long short of the story is we chatted on there me with no photos or any thing and him with multiple and all his other information matches up it is definitely him. I did go as far as to say that I went to school with him and would it be weird to meet etc. not too much after that.

    Then out of the blue weeks later he contacts me and asks if I want to fool around a bit. Now I know him and I know that NO ONE knows that he is bi at all and he still doesn't know who I am but he still is willing to meet anyway.

    So the long short of all this is this--Is it better to meet someone who you are aquanted with that you know is a normal person, but could tell the whole world your business (which I totally could not deal with now) Or do you find a complete stranger and hope for the best.

    This guy is extremely conservative and you would never guess, much like me so I highly doubt he would say anything, but I am still hesistant. At the same time something needs to give here--I need to start experiencing life so as to confirm/deny my identity myself.

  2. #2
    On the Prowl checkinthingsout's Avatar
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    Jul 2011
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    Atlanta
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    Re: To meet or not to meet?

    I think it is better with someone you are acquainted with, because you are better able to relate with them through shared experiences, and they better understand your situation as it is close to their own.

    Advice:
    Send him your pictures and meet him. You are both closeted and he has put enough trust in you without receiving any in return. After all, what would his motive be for exposing you anyway?

    It seems to me that he is in the same position you are in, except he has probably been looking online longer than you have with no one to connect with. Now that he has found you, he has just grown more bold because he wasn't able to find anyone compatible before, and he is hoping that being a little more open will pay off.

    Meet the guy halfway and stop being a big baby about it. Start living dude.

  3. #3
    I'm now a grandfather! JUB Moderator Seasoned's Avatar
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    Sep 2005
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    Re: To meet or not to meet?

    Two things.

    Doesn't he have the same need for discretion?

    Once you start meeting people, self-disclosing and having sex more people than you and your mom will know you aren't straight.

    Guess what? As long as you live in a country that doesn't criminalize same sex behavior, you will be ok.

    I'd meet with this guy. It won't be as scary for you since you have a connection. Let him know in advance who you are.
    "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."--Dr. Seuss

  4. #4
    Virgin
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Toronto
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    Male
    Orientation
    Bisexual
    Status
    Single
    Posts
    44

    Code of Conduct

    Re: To meet or not to meet?

    I used to have the same fears of people I was acquainted with or knew of finding out by seeing my profile, but as Seasoned mentioned above; it wouldn't make sense for him to bait your scene if he's also deep in the closet. I think this is actually a pretty ideal situation for you. It looks like for the most part you're both in the same boat. I'd say meet up and see where it goes.

  5. #5

    Re: To meet or not to meet?

    Dipping your toes in from the safety of your closet isn't going to get you far. One way or another, weather you wade in, or dive in head first you're eventually going to have to make a plunge of some kind. Don't get all crazy, but take some calculated risks (... and wear a life jacket!).

    http://www.justusboys.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic216959_1.gif

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