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  1. #1

    Closeted=NO HOPE for relationship?

    So I just found out this site several days ago and it seems like a nice community where I feel like I can talk.

    I'm a 22 yr guy who has never had sex or a boyfriend. For some reasons I cannot come out yet. However, I really, really want to date and have a boyfriend. I tried dating apps or even craiglist but didn't work out. Part of the reason being I'm a really discreet guy about personal information since there are all kinds of people out there.

    Anyway, I really want to change, including becoming more outdoor and outgoing. I even thought of gaining weight because I know guys like nice body. I really could use some tips and advice. I'm tired of wasting my youth..... I deserve love!

  2. #2
    JUB Addict maxpowr9's Avatar
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    Re: Closeted=NO HOPE for relationship?

    Love like respect is earned and not given. Most "out" gay men have little interest in dealing with closeted men outside of sex. It goes back to the adage: "you can't love anyone else until you love yourself." Being closeted is not being honest with yourself or others.

  3. #3

    Re: Closeted=NO HOPE for relationship?

    Quote Originally Posted by maxpowr9 View Post
    Love like respect is earned and not given. Most "out" gay men have little interest in dealing with closeted men outside of sex. It goes back to the adage: "you can't love anyone else until you love yourself." Being closeted is not being honest with yourself or others.


    Yeah I hear that kinda of statement a lot. But I really do doubt that closeted=not loving/accepting yourself. There are so many other factors and gay people should know better than anyone else. Not trying to debate or something, but I just feel like it starts from encouraging people to come out, which is a good thing, to the point we start to judge people who don't.

  4. #4
    Are u haleloo ya ? Telstra's Avatar
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    Re: Closeted=NO HOPE for relationship?

    yea go to gym and make some nice muscles and give it to me ...


    NEVER LISTEN TO A ONE SIDED STORY AND JUDGE.

  5. #5

    Re: Closeted=NO HOPE for relationship?

    Quote Originally Posted by Telstra View Post
    yea go to gym and make some nice muscles and give it to me ...

    haha deal!

  6. #6
    Are u haleloo ya ? Telstra's Avatar
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    Re: Closeted=NO HOPE for relationship?

    Quote Originally Posted by Shyboyjoy View Post
    haha deal!
    in my gym,
    only me using the sauna, so yea come and do some stretching ...


    NEVER LISTEN TO A ONE SIDED STORY AND JUDGE.

  7. #7

    Re: Closeted=NO HOPE for relationship?

    Quote Originally Posted by Telstra View Post
    in my gym,
    only me using the sauna, so yea come and do some stretching ...

    lol ok. book me a flight first

  8. #8
    Are u haleloo ya ? Telstra's Avatar
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    Re: Closeted=NO HOPE for relationship?

    Quote Originally Posted by Shyboyjoy View Post
    lol ok. book me a flight first
    One way ticket ? ....


    NEVER LISTEN TO A ONE SIDED STORY AND JUDGE.

  9. #9

    Re: Closeted=NO HOPE for relationship?

    Quote Originally Posted by Telstra View Post
    One way ticket ? ....

    I wouldn't mind lol

    and dont make my thread a hook up on thread!!!lol

  10. #10
    Are u haleloo ya ? Telstra's Avatar
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    Re: Closeted=NO HOPE for relationship?

    Alright, no more hook up for you.
    Don't even know what country you are in LOL

    - - - Updated - - -

    Alright, no more hook up for you.
    Don't even know what country you are in LOL


    NEVER LISTEN TO A ONE SIDED STORY AND JUDGE.

  11. #11
    JUB Addict innocentbychoice's Avatar
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    Re: Closeted=NO HOPE for relationship?

    Quote Originally Posted by maxpowr9 View Post
    Love like respect is earned and not given. Most "out" gay men have little interest in dealing with closeted men outside of sex. It goes back to the adage: "you can't love anyone else until you love yourself." Being closeted is not being honest with yourself or others.
    I agree with this.

    I'm not saying that you don't love yourself, as you said there might be multiple reasons why you can't come out right now. But what I'm saying is, any gay guy who is out and secure of himself and his life will probably not want to go back to hiding and having to think twice about what they do or say in front of people just because their new date is not out. You might be able to find someone but keep this in mind, we all want a normal type of life, and hiding isn't a part of that.

  12. #12

    Re: Closeted=NO HOPE for relationship?

    Quote Originally Posted by innocentbychoice View Post
    I agree with this.

    I'm not saying that you don't love yourself, as you said there might be multiple reasons why you can't come out right now. But what I'm saying is, any gay guy who is out and secure of himself and his life will probably not want to go back to hiding and having to think twice about what they do or say in front of people just because their new date is not out. You might be able to find someone but keep this in mind, we all want a normal type of life, and hiding isn't a part of that.

    That I can understand

  13. #13
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    Re: Closeted=NO HOPE for relationship?

    hi Shyboyjoy,

    Welcome to JUB and I am glad to read you enjoy yourself over here. So you told that you want to become "more outdoor and more outgoing". That's very good. I would not bother about gaining weight.

    I do have the idea that staying closeted will become a burden as soon as you will get some gay friends, let alone a boyfriend or a close gay friend.

    I mean, you will need to start some sort of life of 'hiding and lying' to keep pretending that you are still 'single and looking around for a nice girlfriend'. No way you can just mix your new gay friend / boy friend with your other friends / relatives. That's tough / impossible and also needs to llive a life with 'hiding and lying'.

    You don't need to disclose your reason why you want to stay in the closet, but please be aware that it will be very tough to get a real good relationship with a boyfriend when you are in the closet. The same is the case when you will get some gay friends.

    Feel free to react and/or to ask for more advice.

    I would like to wish you all the best. Please continue with making friendships with people over here.
    I am Dutch, so please excuse me for my low level of English.

  14. #14

    Re: Closeted=NO HOPE for relationship?

    Some close friends do know that I am gay and I was away from home for college and had pretty much a lot freedom. Even so, I did not make a single gay friend, let alone a bf. But I did make friends in college tho. But I dont go to bars or drink. Too be honest, if I find a stable bf I would not mind acting like couple with him. I would not ask him to lie or introduce him as "my friend."

    Although many friends of mine are curious about why i dont look for gf, they did not ask me if i am gay



    Quote Originally Posted by Ganoderma View Post
    hi Shyboyjoy,

    Welcome to JUB and I am glad to read you enjoy yourself over here. So you told that you want to become "more outdoor and more outgoing". That's very good. I would not bother about gaining weight.

    I do have the idea that staying closeted will become a burden as soon as you will get some gay friends, let alone a boyfriend or a close gay friend.

    I mean, you will need to start some sort of life of 'hiding and lying' to keep pretending that you are still 'single and looking around for a nice girlfriend'. No way you can just mix your new gay friend / boy friend with your other friends / relatives. That's tough / impossible and also needs to llive a life with 'hiding and lying'.

    You don't need to disclose your reason why you want to stay in the closet, but please be aware that it will be very tough to get a real good relationship with a boyfriend when you are in the closet. The same is the case when you will get some gay friends.

    Feel free to react and/or to ask for more advice.

    I would like to wish you all the best. Please continue with making friendships with people over here.

  15. #15

    Re: Closeted=NO HOPE for relationship?

    In addition, my question isnt really much how I should stay closeted/keep it a secret while dating a guy, but more about how i can better my chance of finding one. Unless you all think the first thing to do in order to find a bf is come out? Like putting a tag on myself as being "available?" Because like I just said, if I find someone and he doesnt want it to be a secret, I dont mind telling people he is my boyfriend.

    Also, to Ganoderma, thank you very much for your post. The reason I wanna gain weight is I know people are attracted to appearance for most of the times, including me. I'm really skinny and I know there are guys that are into my body type. But according to my "experience," people who are into twinks aren't usually my type. lol.....

  16. #16
    On the Prowl checkinthingsout's Avatar
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    Re: Closeted=NO HOPE for relationship?

    Quote Originally Posted by Shyboyjoy View Post
    Some close friends do know that I am gay and I was away from home for college and had pretty much a lot freedom. Even so, I did not make a single gay friend, let alone a bf. But I did make friends in college tho. But I dont go to bars or drink. Too be honest, if I find a stable bf I would not mind acting like couple with him. I would not ask him to lie or introduce him as "my friend."

    Although many friends of mine are curious about why i dont look for gf, they did not ask me if i am gay
    I think it also depends on to what extent are you out. I am technically out, but I have 2 gay friends I met recently that know I am gay and my parents. That is it.

    I say this to say you shouldn't be afraid to go to a gay bar and meet some friends who are gay and out, chances are if you are in a city, their paths wont cross with your other friends, and if they do you can let your new friends know your situation beforehand. Not being completely out shouldn't prevent you from going and experiencing gay life and meeting other gay men.

    And to be honest, it has made me more comfortable with myself that I will be able to come out to my brothers and close friends soon. I just wish I hadn't waited so long to put myself out there, but time is still kind of on my side as I am only 25.

    dating someone is a whole different issue, but you cannot attract people who you aren't meeting, so best to just introduce yourself to more gay people out there, but keep a level of discretion that you are comfortable with. Trust me you aren't the only guy that isnt completely out of the closet in a gay bar, and in general in my experience other gay guys tend to respect that because it is a different journey to self realization for everyone.

  17. #17
    Stabbed My Heart CupidBoy's Avatar
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    Re: Closeted=NO HOPE for relationship?

    You can't really be in a happy relationship with someone who isn't true to themself.

    Good luck finding a guy.
    We only see two things in people, what we want to see and what they want to show us. - Dexter Morgan

  18. #18

    Re: Closeted=NO HOPE for relationship?

    Quote Originally Posted by checkinthingsout View Post
    I think it also depends on to what extent are you out. I am technically out, but I have 2 gay friends I met recently that know I am gay and my parents. That is it.

    I say this to say you shouldn't be afraid to go to a gay bar and meet some friends who are gay and out, chances are if you are in a city, their paths wont cross with your other friends, and if they do you can let your new friends know your situation beforehand. Not being completely out shouldn't prevent you from going and experiencing gay life and meeting other gay men.

    And to be honest, it has made me more comfortable with myself that I will be able to come out to my brothers and close friends soon. I just wish I hadn't waited so long to put myself out there, but time is still kind of on my side as I am only 25.

    dating someone is a whole different issue, but you cannot attract people who you aren't meeting, so best to just introduce yourself to more gay people out there, but keep a level of discretion that you are comfortable with. Trust me you aren't the only guy that isnt completely out of the closet in a gay bar, and in general in my experience other gay guys tend to respect that because it is a different journey to self realization for everyone.

    Thank you so much! I got your point. But do you think people actually meet "the right one" in a bar? I was told most of them are there for hook ups and fun. Just like people don't really look for LTR on craiglist, instead they are there for hook ups. Not saying I dont like fun or judge people who do go to a gay bar. Plus, is there a difference between a bar and a pub or club? Sorry if I sound stupid

  19. #19
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    Re: Closeted=NO HOPE for relationship?

    I agree with everyone basically who posted haha, it's just really unfair to put someone through that.

    Gay bars usually (not always) there isn't a dance floor, club usually is more for drinking and dancing whereas a gay bar is more so chilling/talking/drinking hope that helps

  20. #20
    Kein Ayin Hara JUB Admin KaraBulut's Avatar
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    Re: Closeted=NO HOPE for relationship?

    We're moving more toward a western culture where the idea of "coming out" is probably going to be limited to teenagers and maybe a few people who come to the realization later in life.

    For the rest of gay people, it will be just like it is for straight people- one day you just mention a "boyfriend" or bring a guy to a social event to introduce to friends and family.

    Your straight friends don't have to announce that they're fucking someone of the opposite gender but they also don't have to lie about it, either. And that's a perfectly acceptable for gay people, too. The days of a defined "coming out" will eventually be a thing of the past.

    The added bonus when you put an end to the pretending, the evasions, the changing of genders and all the stuff that comes with the closet, it does make it easier to meet guys, to date and to have a normal life... and to exhale.
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  21. #21

    Re: Closeted=NO HOPE for relationship?

    Quote Originally Posted by KaraBulut View Post
    We're moving more toward a western culture where the idea of "coming out" is probably going to be limited to teenagers and maybe a few people who come to the realization later in life.

    For the rest of gay people, it will be just like it is for straight people- one day you just mention a "boyfriend" or bring a guy to a social event to introduce to friends and family.

    Your straight friends don't have to announce that they're fucking someone of the opposite gender but they also don't have to lie about it, either. And that's a perfectly acceptable for gay people, too. The days of a defined "coming out" will eventually be a thing of the past.

    The added bonus when you put an end to the pretending, the evasions, the changing of genders and all the stuff that comes with the closet, it does make it easier to meet guys, to date and to have a normal life... and to exhale.

    There you go! By the way you mind telling me how you met your partner?

  22. #22

    Re: Closeted=NO HOPE for relationship?

    One more question I have. Is it wise to make sure what the other party wants in the very beginning? Let's say I meet a cute guy at a bar and we start talking and I can feel that something is going on. Is it stupid to ask if he is just looking for fun?

  23. #23
    I'm now a grandfather! JUB Moderator Seasoned's Avatar
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    Re: Closeted=NO HOPE for relationship?

    I think what some closeted people don't realize is that as soon as they make their intentions known to another person they are in the process of coming out, not to their family or friends, but, nonetheless, to someone. That can actually rachet up the fear level because it can cause you to spend more time looking over your shoulder, and that is why there is so much advice to be out.

    As far as finding someone compatible, it's the most difficult when meeting one guy at a time and wishing he's the one. It's easiest when you're part of an association or social club where you have contact with lots of people all at the same time.

    That being said, people have been in same sex closeted partnerships since the beginning of time. As people have become less afraid of being themselves they've become more open. In general an open person would find it difficult, even impossible, to be in a ltr with someone closeted, and vice versa.

    It's easier to find sex as a closeted person than it is to find a relationship unless, perhaps, you're living in a repressive society.
    "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."--Dr. Seuss

  24. #24
    On the Prowl pilotguy121a's Avatar
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    Re: Closeted=NO HOPE for relationship?

    We sound pretty similar. I was 20 and in college, I still lived with my parents. I started searching/posting to craigslist, not really sure what I was looking for. One thing I did know, I wasn't planning on coming out in the near future. Seasoned really hit it, as soon as you start looking for a boyfriend or some gay friends, you are in the coming out process. By putting yourself out there, it starts to build a sense of acceptance, at least for me it did.

    I didn't find anyone I was looking for until the following year, I met my current bf on Jack'd. I did meet him while in the closet but after meeting him and realizing that it would be far to difficult to continue to meet him/have a relationship while still in the closet, the following day I came out. We have been together for two years now.

    So being out of the closet makes things a lot easier. Also, it may have a bit to do with where you live, as a pointed out already. Either way, I hope you find what you are looking for! You sound like a genuine dude!

  25. #25
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    Re: Closeted=NO HOPE for relationship?

    hi Shyboyjoy.

    Thanks alot for your friendly reply. Good to hear that some of your close friends (at college) are already aware that you are gay and that you also had alot of freedom when not living at home.

    I tend to think that your main theme is around "how i can better my chance of finding a boyfriend."

    Well, you told us: "Although many friends of mine are curious about why i dont look for gf, they did not ask me if i am gay".

    Please be aware that quite a few straight guys, in particular the polite ones, won't ask you point blank if you might be gay.

    On the other hand, these guys are curious why you don't look around for a girlfriend. Please note that this will not stop. On top of that, some of them might already have figured out why you don't seem to be interested in girls. Please note that single girls around them and around you will have noticed that you don't have interest in them.

    Telling all these friends that you are gay will widen your circle of possibilities of finding a nice boyfriend / a nice gay friend. Maybe some of them will have another gay friend / brother / cousin (whatever). Any idea if these group of friends are homophobes?

    Best wishes.
    I am Dutch, so please excuse me for my low level of English.

  26. #26

    Re: Closeted=NO HOPE for relationship?

    Quote Originally Posted by Ganoderma View Post
    hi Shyboyjoy.

    Thanks alot for your friendly reply. Good to hear that some of your close friends (at college) are already aware that you are gay and that you also had alot of freedom when not living at home.

    I tend to think that your main theme is around "how i can better my chance of finding a boyfriend."

    Well, you told us: "Although many friends of mine are curious about why i dont look for gf, they did not ask me if i am gay".

    Please be aware that quite a few straight guys, in particular the polite ones, won't ask you point blank if you might be gay.

    On the other hand, these guys are curious why you don't look around for a girlfriend. Please note that this will not stop. On top of that, some of them might already have figured out why you don't seem to be interested in girls. Please note that single girls around them and around you will have noticed that you don't have interest in them.

    Telling all these friends that you are gay will widen your circle of possibilities of finding a nice boyfriend / a nice gay friend. Maybe some of them will have another gay friend / brother / cousin (whatever). Any idea if these group of friends are homophobes?

    Best wishes.

    So going to bars, clubs, hotspots, and internet dating just isn't enough, huh? We have to let the entire town or as many people know that we are gay in order to have more of a chance of meeting great guys? That's Fucking ridiculous. Some of the places I just don't like going to because of the drag queens. I don't want to be around that. I don't care who knows about my sexual preference, but I'm not the type that goes around parading my sexuality. Straights don't have to do that, why should we
    Last edited by MilkShake83; July 11th, 2014 at 02:46 PM.

  27. #27
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    Re: Closeted=NO HOPE for relationship?

    hi MilkShake83,

    Excuse me very much that my posting was not very clear.

    Please note that I have not told OP that he should walk around with clear marks which indicate that he is gay. My sole purpose was to point out to OP (= Shyboyjoy) that Karabulut (#20) made some very valuable remarks. Quite a few straight guys don't bark around that they are straight, they just incorporate a girlfriend in their life whenever they get a girlfriend.

    I have examples within my -large- circle of friends / aquaintances in which I have seen how such straight guys start to incorporate in a very natural way their girlfriend in their public life. One of these guys never ever had a girlfriend. It was a very nice and a very kind guy. For years and years, he already had a job, but he was still living together with his parents. At a certain moment, he started to undertake common activities with 'Female Name' (an unknown person). The guy has a very popular website and activities with 'Female Name' were just reported on his website (otherwise he would report that he undertook the same activity with one of his friends). Now he is married with her, they live together and both are very happy when they got a kid.

    So straight guys don't bother they are straight, and open gay guys don't bother they are gay. Such gay guys won't need to look over their shoulder when drinking coffee with one of their gay friends in a very public surrounding , in case some of their relatives will notice them.

    I still lack your argument why you shouldn't tell your straight friends the real reason why you don't look around for a girlfriend. Please note that we are currently living in 2014, so almost all straight guys will be aware what might be the real reason why OP is mute when his friends are talking about girls / girlfriends (shy / gay / ugly / ....).

    Feel free to react.
    I am Dutch, so please excuse me for my low level of English.

  28. #28

    Re: Closeted=NO HOPE for relationship?

    Wow, you lost me a couple of lines in...the rest is just garbage.
    Last edited by MilkShake83; July 12th, 2014 at 05:39 AM.

  29. #29

    Re: Closeted=NO HOPE for relationship?

    Guys!!! Updates!!!!

    So I met this guy through a dating site. And he just asked me out tomorrow. I suggest lunch. Anyone have any tips for tomorrow? What should we do after lunch??? HEEEEELP!!!!!

  30. #30

    Re: Closeted=NO HOPE for relationship?

    Also, I dont drive and the city I am in has no good public transportation. I am thinking taking a taxi. I also prefer to meet at downtown......

  31. #31
    Kein Ayin Hara JUB Admin KaraBulut's Avatar
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    Re: Closeted=NO HOPE for relationship?

    Quote Originally Posted by Shyboyjoy View Post
    So I met this guy through a dating site. And he just asked me out tomorrow. I suggest lunch. Anyone have any tips for tomorrow? What should we do after lunch??? HEEEEELP!!!!!
    If it goes well, how about make plans for another date? Don't try to do everything on the first date.
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  32. #32

    Re: Closeted=NO HOPE for relationship?

    Quote Originally Posted by KaraBulut View Post
    If it goes well, how about make plans for another date? Don't try to do everything on the first date.
    He is driving to me to meet because we are about 30 miles away and I dont have a car. We planed a lunch but didn't say anything else. However, I think he somehow suggested hanging out at my place because it's 60% chance that it is gonna rain. But I said I prefer to eat lunch since its the first date and he said he prefer lunch too.

    But I kinda feel bad that he has to drive 20 minutes. How should I turn him down if he asks to go to my place? (I'm 100% not going to have sex).

  33. #33
    JUB Addict Craiger's Avatar
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    Re: Closeted=NO HOPE for relationship?

    Quote Originally Posted by Shyboyjoy View Post
    But I kinda feel bad that he has to drive 20 minutes. How should I turn him down if he asks to go to my place? (I'm 100% not going to have sex).
    Hey SBJ,

    It's OK to feel bad about his having to driver 20 minutes, but don't let that influence you to accept anything that is not to your liking. If he asks to go to your place and you are uncomfortable after having lunch explain that you would prefer to make it for a future time and also that you don't have sex on the first date. You are not obligated to agree to anything you do not want. After you have met him for lunch and get a feeling of his character and you are not sure, be honest and explain your feelings. That's when you can make, or not, arrangements for a second meeting. If he is looking for a friendship and not just a hookup, he will understand completely and abide by your decisions. Good luck and hopefully it will be a very enjoyable time.

    Craiger
    Last edited by Craiger; July 12th, 2014 at 09:35 PM.

  34. #34

    Re: Closeted=NO HOPE for relationship?

    Quote Originally Posted by Craiger View Post
    Hey SBJ,

    It's OK to feel bad about his having to driver 20 minutes, but don't let that influence you to accept anything that is not to your liking. If he asks to go to your place and you are uncomfortable after having lunch explain that you would prefer to make it for a future time and also that you don't have sex on the first date. You are not obligated to agree to anything you do not want. After you have met him for lunch and get a feeling of his character and you are not sure, be honest and explain your feelings. That's when you can make, or not, arrangements for a second meeting. If he is looking for a friendship and not just a hookup, he will understand completely and abide by your decisions. Good luck and hopefully it will be a very enjoyable time.

    Craiger



    Thank you for the advice!! I hope it will go well too haha

  35. #35
    FEAR THE LIBERAL DETENTE! TX-Beau's Avatar
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    Re: Closeted=NO HOPE for relationship?

    It is utterly and completely an asshole move to ask someone to lie for you.

    IF you are in the closet, you are NOT relationship potential. Period.
    ATTACK OF THE LIBERAL ELITE

  36. #36
    Kein Ayin Hara JUB Admin KaraBulut's Avatar
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    Re: Closeted=NO HOPE for relationship?

    Quote Originally Posted by Shyboyjoy View Post
    But I kinda feel bad that he has to drive 20 minutes.
    Then offer to buy his lunch. It's a gesture but you don't owe him anything.

    Quote Originally Posted by Shyboyjoy View Post
    How should I turn him down if he asks to go to my place? (I'm 100% not going to have sex).
    You just say, "I have some things that I need to do, so I have to go. But I'd like to see you again - so, why don't we plan something for next weekend when I can hang out longer?"
    JUB's full list of smilies can be found here.

  37. #37
    On the Prowl checkinthingsout's Avatar
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    Re: Closeted=NO HOPE for relationship?

    Quote Originally Posted by Shyboyjoy View Post
    Thank you so much! I got your point. But do you think people actually meet "the right one" in a bar? I was told most of them are there for hook ups and fun. Just like people don't really look for LTR on craiglist, instead they are there for hook ups. Not saying I dont like fun or judge people who do go to a gay bar. Plus, is there a difference between a bar and a pub or club? Sorry if I sound stupid
    I'm in the U.S., so Bar tends to have a different meaning than club...I would say that is pretty true for gay clubs, but if you go to a gay bar or gay friendly restaurant, you could sit down and have a couple drinks on Sunday afternoon or for happy hour during the week and potentially run into someone cool. And I think that how you come off will usually attract the right person. (i.e. if you arent looking for sex, dont go shirtless or with a ripped up tank top and short shorts lol.

  38. #38

    Re: Closeted=NO HOPE for relationship?

    Quote Originally Posted by checkinthingsout View Post
    I'm in the U.S., so Bar tends to have a different meaning than club...I would say that is pretty true for gay clubs, but if you go to a gay bar or gay friendly restaurant, you could sit down and have a couple drinks on Sunday afternoon or for happy hour during the week and potentially run into someone cool. And I think that how you come off will usually attract the right person. (i.e. if you arent looking for sex, dont go shirtless or with a ripped up tank top and short shorts lol.

    I'm in the U.S too. Guess I should try a gay bar then. But its gonna be really awkward for me since I've never been to one...

  39. #39
    On the Prowl checkinthingsout's Avatar
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    Re: Closeted=NO HOPE for relationship?

    Quote Originally Posted by Shyboyjoy View Post
    I'm in the U.S too. Guess I should try a gay bar then. But its gonna be really awkward for me since I've never been to one...
    I went to my first one in February of this year, for a trivia night. It was almost the same as any other bar on a monday night except for the MC dressed in drag, which I thought would be very uncomfortable since I am not really into that, but it wasnt. I just felt normal and I had a good time.

    Also, a very wise friend once told me, awkward is a choice. So dont go in there with that mind set, go in thinking that you belong, because you do.

    Keep us posted on the guy you meet!

  40. #40
    JUB Addict darden's Avatar
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    Re: Closeted=NO HOPE for relationship?

    I wouldn't say no hope, but yeah... dating a closeted guy is hard, and I'd say impossible if you're in the closet with your friends as well as your family.

    I could live with a guy who was just closeted to his family, especially if they weren't close or lived far away. but never getting to meet his friends or having to lie to them would make maintaining a relationship damn difficult.

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