And it's killing me. Seriously, there's this pain or pressure in my chest when I even think about it (which is constantly). Granted, I already struggle with my confidence and this isn't helping. I've invested a lot in this relationship and it was awesome to begin with. When we first met, it was a dream come true for the both of us (I assume). He was affectionate. Texted me all the time.
Recently, however, I came down with a tooth infection and ended up in the hospital. Over that weekend, he went to a nudist camp and went hiking with another guy (howbeit the hiking was done with clothes on). The reception was bad and I didn't really hear from him much, but after the fact he was raving about how he had such a great time. I was happy for him that he was able to get out and have some fun. However, that's when the texts started coming in sporadically and the phone calls were few and short on time. Our evening FaceTime sessions were growing shorter and shorter. Then I overheard him speaking to his friend about this guy he went on a hike with, how "woof" he is, and how the guy told him after the hike "I really like you!"
But he tells me he loves me. He holds my hand - sometimes. Yet at other times, he seems so distant. He says I'm overanalyzing things. He's invited this guy over and said he wants to go over there sometime to hang out. I don't want to be "that" guy who is controlling, but I also don't want to feel as if I'm being dragged around to be dumped later on. I just don't know what to do. Part of me wants to leave, but part of me wants him.
Ugh, I hate this feeling.