JustUsBoys.com gay porn forum

logo

remove these banner ads by becoming a JUB Supporter.

Results 1 to 15 of 15
  1. #1
    JUB Addict MMMonsterBoy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Single
    Posts
    1,186

    Code of Conduct

    Got drunk and came out ?

    4th of July, what a weekend. Every year the family gets together and celebrates. This year was different, as I brought my friend (straight) along with me. Together, with the help of an uncle and some other guys, we got pretty drunk. I have never been drunk around my family, but when I am drunk I get really flamboyant! So that came out...

    The next morning was full of talk and lectures. I'm already out to my mom and one of my sister's, but according to my mom I have raised eyebrows and now people have answers. One of my aunt's gave me the "I'm a Christian....I don't know if you're going through a phase.....I still love you......" speech.

    I just feel really strange now. My family looks at me different, and a few of them are disappointed ( well, the older ones...my cousins and the like didn't care). I told my mom that I didn't really care if people found out, but I know she's embarrassed as she said she was. It just frustrating because I don't feel like I fit in with my own family, yet I am supposed to want to do everything with them. I just hate this, but it was going to come out eventually regardless.

    We have another trip coming up and I really don't want to go. I just want to move somewhere across the country!

  2. #2

    Re: Got drunk and came out ?

    Live your life for yourself, not for others or what they think about you. Don't let adverse reactions affect you, let it affect those who have those reactions. And if it does affect you, let it make you a stronger and more confident person.

  3. #3
    JUB Addict HunterM's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Bisexual
    Status
    Single
    Posts
    6,498

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Got drunk and came out ?

    Go to your next family trip with a mission to come out to everyone. It is the elephant in the room that no one talks about. Yes, it will be awkward for some people. So be it. With time, they will get over it. Hang out with people who don't care if you're gay. Avoid people who pass judgment on you.

    For the aunt who said "I'm a Christian....I don't know if you're going through a phase.....I still love you..."...walk up to her and said, "THANK YOU for loving me for who I am. This is not a phase. I really appreciate that."

    Take control over your life. You are an adult. You don't need their permissions to live your life. Get this announcement over with so you can move on spending time with your family that you love. It may be awkward for this time...but it won't be for many more family gatherings in the future. Once everyone knows you're gay...you don't have to stress about whispers behind your back. You don't have to stress about trying to please everyone...because nobody can please everyone.
    Last edited by HunterM; July 6th, 2014 at 09:13 AM.

  4. #4
    veni, vidi, reliqui
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Partnered
    Posts
    33,552

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Got drunk and came out ?

    Quote Originally Posted by HunterM View Post
    Go to your next family trip with a mission to come out to everyone. It is the elephant in the room that no one talks about. Yes, it will be awkward for some people. So be it. With time, they will get over it. Hang out with people who don't care if you're gay. Avoid people who pass judgment on you.

    For the aunt who said "I'm a Christian....I don't know if you're going through a phase.....I still love you..."...walk up to her and said, "THANK YOU for loving me for who I am. This is not a phase. I really appreciate that."

    Take control over your life. You are an adult. You don't need their permissions to live your life. Get this announcement over with so you can move on spending time with your family that you love. It may be awkward for this time...but it won't be for many more family gatherings in the future. Once everyone knows you're gay...you don't have to stress about whispers behind your back. You don't have to stress about trying to please everyone...because nobody can please everyone.
    Quoted for truth.

  5. #5
    Inactive
    star-warrior's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Home is where the heart is
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Bisexual
    Status
    Married
    Posts
    36,635
    Blog Entries
    9

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Got drunk and came out ?

    Hunter's message above hits all the points.

    You can please some people some of the time, but not all the people all the time. But in doing so, don't forget about what makes you happy too.


  6. #6
    Dejavudoo
    Guest

    Re: Got drunk and came out ?

    Several things.

    You mentioned you were drunk. Imagine how differently your coming out could have have been to yourself and to your mother should you have done it cold turkey and sober. How well do you remember exactly what you said? Is it possible she is more embarrassed because you showed your ass?

    At any rate, you're out, sorta. As Hunter said, end the questions and firmly plant your feet and consider loving your family, even the conservative ones, instead of running away.

    Major embarrassments are quite like major hangovers: you have to man up and get through them. Be big about owning any apology you may owe those who saw you misbehave, if you in fact did. At the same time, take the opportunity to speak as an adult, and declare that the real or perceived pressure from your family led to the awkward coming out, and that you would like to change that.

    Most adults have their own skeletons and respect this sort of courage. We welcome you to own your stance.

    Thank you for sharing openly here. It can only help those dealing with similar stresses.

  7. #7

    Re: Got drunk and came out ?

    At least you didn't get drunk and tell a girl you were going to marry her even though you're gay.

    Anyway I definitely agree with what was said above. What's done is done. For some reason I think the best thing is that your cousins don't care. I'm guessing that they're happy for you that you have this off of your chest. It's nice to have people your age being a support system. They see you differently now, but I hope they see past your sexuality and realize there really isn't anything different about you.
    Quote Originally Posted by Saybrooke View Post
    I was at the gym once, and this woman was on the elliptical next to me, making motorcycle noises.

  8. #8
    JUB Addict mikey3000's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    Toronto
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Bisexual
    Status
    Married
    Posts
    3,434

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Got drunk and came out ?

    Whoops!
    Inspired - but too tired.

  9. #9
    Aphid Attraction MakeDigitalLove's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Location
    Voorhees
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Partnered
    Posts
    2,135

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Got drunk and came out ?

    What HunterM has said, one of the best parts of coming out to people for me is knowing whether or not you should really keep these people around over time. And the suckiest part is the change in dynamic that people have. Some times great relationships turn not so great when the truth is revealed, but you're better for it cause there are always will be people in life where this won't matter.

    Hope everything works out for the better for you. I imagine things might feel a bit heavy when you feel like all eyes are on you.

  10. #10
    JUB Addict MMMonsterBoy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Single
    Posts
    1,186

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Got drunk and came out ?

    Thanks you guys! I really applied the advice and feel better about the situation now.

  11. #11
    Dejavudoo
    Guest

    Re: Got drunk and came out ?

    What does that mean? What did you apply?

  12. #12
    JUB Addict MMMonsterBoy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Single
    Posts
    1,186

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Got drunk and came out ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Dejavudoo View Post
    What does that mean? What did you apply?
    Well I can't please everyone, and I told my mother that my relatives can react however they want. If anyone chooses to ask me about it, or if I feel the need, I will squash any doubts and just come out and say it. I really do appreciate the advice here, and have taken it to heart.

  13. #13
    Come again? dereperez's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Bisexual
    Posts
    3,932
    Blog Entries
    5

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Got drunk and came out ?

    Thanks for sharing your story and it seems like it's a happy ending. Living freely is a wonderful thing.
    If I had a flower for every time I thought of you…I could walk through my garden forever.
    -Alfred Tennyson.

  14. #14
    Dejavudoo
    Guest

    Re: Got drunk and came out ?

    Quote Originally Posted by MMMonsterBoy View Post
    Well I can't please everyone, and I told my mother that my relatives can react however they want. If anyone chooses to ask me about it, or if I feel the need, I will squash any doubts and just come out and say it. I really do appreciate the advice here, and have taken it to heart.
    Thank you for explaining. It is good to hear you feeling more calm.

  15. #15
    Inactive
    star-warrior's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Home is where the heart is
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Bisexual
    Status
    Married
    Posts
    36,635
    Blog Entries
    9

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Got drunk and came out ?

    May you be happy and get on with your life


Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Terms of Service | Privacy Policy | About JustUsBoys.com | Site Map | RSS | Webmasters | Advertise | Link to JUB | Report A Bug on this Page

Visit our sister sites: Broke Straight Boys | CollegeDudes.com | CollegeBoyPhysicals.com | RocketTube
All models appearing on JustUsBoys.com were over 18 at the time of photography. The records for sexually explicit images required by U.S. 2257 are kept by the
individual producers of the images. The location of the records is available by clicking the Custodian of Records link at the bottom of each gallery page.
© 2012 JustUsBoys.com. The JustUsBoys.com name and logo are registered trademarks. Labeled with ICRA and RTA. Member of ASACP and The Free Speech Coalition.