JustUsBoys.com gay porn forum

logo

Results 1 to 3 of 3
  1. #1
    Newbie RyanCJJ's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2014
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Partnered
    Posts
    1

    Code of Conduct

    What should I do..?

    I met my boyfriend on an online dating app, I am 18 and he is 21. We met a few days later and had sex for the first time on my birthday, and the second time was on his birthday. Which is only 14 days apart. It's going well until recently he keeps trying to bring up the topic about sex whenever we chat. I tried changing topics and asking him random questions but he'll just ignore it and carry on.

    He's been having sex with me for like 2 times a day for the past week. I'm kind of getting tired of it and I don't want our relationship to just be based on sex.. When I asked him if we can do something else.. He'd always say things like "Fine i'll just do it with others then." and that I am tired of him. But in a joking manner. I can't help but give in again and again.. I'm not saying that I ain't liking the feeling of it, I just want to do something else for once..

    So how do I say no without letting him having the wrong impression? I'm never good when it comes to serious talks because I've always been that playful and cheeky boyfriend whenever I'm around him. I need serious answers please.. This is like my 3rd relationship so I pretty much don't know how to react sometimes...

  2. #2
    I'm now a grandfather! JUB Moderator Seasoned's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Married
    Posts
    6,108

    Code of Conduct

    Re: What should I do..?

    It's going to be important to discover whether he's playful or whether he's addicted. Do you know his history and his pattern of sexual behavior?

    This is a tricky subject even on forums such as JUB and among random gay men. Some will say that it's a sexual comparability issue. Some won't recognize that there is such a thing as sex addiction. Some will ask what's the problem. The truth is that you have a problem as long as you identify one.

    Sometime soon, away from home, do have a serious chat. Frame it as wanting to learn more about each other in terms of where you each place sex in your lives. You can't afford to be blackmailed into having it when you don't what it, which is what he's done by planting to seed in your mind that he'll look elsewhere. Yes, he said it under the guise of a joke, but you haven't laughed it off.

    Maybe it is a comparability issue, but if it turns out to be addiction it's quite serious and, as a non-addict, sets you up xa a co-dependent.

    Check out two organizations on line. One is SCA, Sexual Complusives Anonymous, and the other is SLAA, Sex and Live Addicts Anonymous. Never accuse anyone else of addiction in a derogatory way, but, if you suspect, be gentle, kind and loving.

    I know quite a bit about this and would gladly take any PMs.

    Mind you, I'm not accusing him. I'd just like you to be informed.
    "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."--Dr. Seuss

  3. #3
    Kein Ayin Hara JUB Admin KaraBulut's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Status
    Partnered
    Posts
    20,145

    Code of Conduct

    Re: What should I do..?

    Quote Originally Posted by RyanCJJ View Post
    ...He's been having sex with me for like 2 times a day for the past week. I'm kind of getting tired of it and I don't want our relationship to just be based on sex.. When I asked him if we can do something else.. He'd always say things like "Fine i'll just do it with others then." and that I am tired of him. But in a joking manner. I can't help but give in again and again.. I'm not saying that I ain't liking the feeling of it, I just want to do something else for once..
    You have to do some thinking about where the true issue lies in this situation.

    Are you tired of having sex so often? Or is the real issue that you're not getting your other needs satisfied?

    It's not unusual for new couples to fuck like rabbits when it's all new. So, what you're describing doesn't sound strange or out of norm.

    The abundant amount of sex is partially horniness but it's also partially part of the process of getting to know the other person. The real question is whether the other parts of the "getting to know you" process is lacking- the talking, the finding out about each other and the emotional aspects that make the relationship more well-rounded. It's that communication and time spent together that distinguishes a "relationship" from being just "fuckbuddies".

    Maybe you're focusing on the sex instead of telling him what else it is that you want from the relationship?

    Quote Originally Posted by RyanCJJ View Post
    ...So how do I say no without letting him having the wrong impression? .
    What "wrong impression" would that be? That you want more than just fucking all the time?

    Don't apologize for wanting more. Just be clear what you want and ask for it. You can say, "The sex is awesome but there's other things that I need- like...".

    If this guy isn't interested in your needs, find someone who is.
    JUB's full list of smilies can be found here.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Terms of Service | Privacy Policy | About JustUsBoys.com | Site Map | RSS | Webmasters | Advertise | Link to JUB | Report A Bug on this Page

Visit our sister sites: Broke Straight Boys | CollegeDudes.com | CollegeBoyPhysicals.com | RocketTube
All models appearing on JustUsBoys.com were over 18 at the time of photography. The records for sexually explicit images required by U.S. 2257 are kept by the
individual producers of the images. The location of the records is available by clicking the Custodian of Records link at the bottom of each gallery page.
© 2012 JustUsBoys.com. The JustUsBoys.com name and logo are registered trademarks. Labeled with ICRA and RTA. Member of ASACP and The Free Speech Coalition.