Okay, just a quick disclaimed before I get started but this is going to be a LONG post.
Me and my boyfriend first met when I started working at the same place as he does in 2010. At the time of us meeting I didn't really think much of it, I think I might have thought to myself Is he gay? when we first met, as he was the guy who was showing me the ropes on my first day but it was simply a fleeting thought. The duration of my probation period I didn't really give it much thought as it was my first job and I was too preoccupied trying to make a good impression, not to mention that I was already in a relationship at the time with a man 14 years my senior (I was 19).
After that probation period I was kept on but I was moved to work downstairs (my boyfriend works upstairs) so I didn't really see him much for the next year as we worked different shifts, etc. Anyway, one day in the October of 2011 he randomly started to chat to me on Facebook (I was still with my ex at the time) and that led to me adding him onto MSN (as it was then) and we used to chat every so often if we both happened to be on, at the time I was staying at my ex's pretty much 4 nights a week though. Anyway, that relationship eventually broke down in November after a vacation, so I was single again.
Over the next year, me and my boyfriend started chatting more frequently and doing things occasionally on our days off. Nothing particularly romantic though as he was into this guy who lived in London at the time and it was such a rarity. Eventually I was transferred back upstairs, so we saw each other a lot more. Things eventually started to develop but it was never officially stamped, even though I kept asking about it.
Now, a bit of a backstory on my boyfriend as I think it's pretty relevant. His mother died when he was two, so he's never known her and all his life it's just been him and his dad, and then his dad's girlfriend. He only really sees the rest of his family once a year and about 11 years ago now, he decided to come out to them all on this one day. Apparently, the reaction was so bad that he never mentioned it again (which I know was the worst thing he could've done). And, when we got round to talking about our relationship, he said that was the one reason why he couldn't be in a relationship because it wouldn't be fair for me to be kept a secret. At the time, I didn't care and I said that, so we decided to get together.
Now, I don't even know when we got together, so I have no idea what our anniversary is. Anyway, over the course of that time (beginning of 2013-2014) we obviously work together a lot more and the only day off we get to do stuff together is a Wednesday night. We used to go to the cinema and then the opportunity came up for us to actually go round to his because his dad goes out. Apart from that and the odd work-related thing, we don't really do anything outside work. Although, we do walk home from work a couple of nights a week too.
Anyway, over the course of that time, especially this last year, it's really started to get to me that he isn't out at all because I am and it just feels like I'm this big massive secret. And that he's kind of ashamed to me. I know it probably sounds selfish because I knew what I was getting in for and he's only really got his dad (he's 29 and he still lives with his dad) and his dad might disown him. But I just can't help but think that he needs to grow a pair and come out. I mean, I haven't even met his friends and, as far as I know, they do know he's gay...
And, I just don't know what to do about the situation really. Any help would be appreciated.