June 21st, 2014, 06:21 PM
My odd relationship musings
This is perhaps a rather unusual situation so I'll do my best to explain it, both to formulate and preface my questions.
I'm currently in a mostly secret relationship with a guy who's a year younger than me (yes, we're both legal even though I'm the only one classed as an adult.) He's bisexual. We met at college (I think it's the British equivalent of high-school) and about 2 months before we became 'friends,' he started a relationship with a girl in his same year.
I should perhaps point out here that he's had several relationships before, I have had none.
Though we'd met before, we started talking at the beginning of this year and quickly became very close. Predictably, the conversation turned to sexuality and because of how I felt, I decided that I'd make him the first person I told that I'm gay. It went perfectly well of course and he then admitted his bisexuality.
From then our friendship continued as it had, we became closer and closer, texting every day. Within a few weeks it was clear we were both falling for one another, and when he stayed at my house we opened up a lot to one another, both admitted; somewhat awkwardly as the first times are, our love and he became my first kiss. It was great but nothing else happened. In time I found out that this encounter had a actually made him pretty uncomfortable, not me per say but his continuing relationship - to this day he is still seeing her.
Now he had told me very early on that their relationship was to last their two years at college, and very unlikely to continue to university.
So as we continued to get ever closer, it became clear that I was part of a love triangle. We both admitted an understanding for the others pain, but we've broadly settled on an agreement that we won't engage in anything - physical at least - until we're both at university (ie I'll have been there a year extra) - which reluctantly I'm okay with and I'm now becoming very happy having him as a mostly conversational boyfriend.
Interestingly though, we've spoken A LOT about the future, jobs, house, kids etc. And I'm optimistic that we will one day have something lasting, as I already feel it's special.
Equally interestingly, when I admitted my worries and feelings about the triangle as it had become, he was very open with me about some of the difficulties he too was having, though never directly mentions his girlfriend, though being all at the same college I've met her plenty and he's very close with her when they're together. I suspect he doesn't like to cross over the two relationships. He has within that many times echoed my affections and love. But he made one interesting recommendation that I seek as much casual fun as I can in the year that I'm at Uni and he is not. Which to an extent brought about my key question ...
I would love your ideas or opinions on what is I admit a difficult situation, and would like to pose the question of how many gay guys tend to favour (as I find myself ever more doing) monogamous relationships. More than that, that I am more than happy to be with only him, having been with no one else, for the foreseeable future; and how atypical (or perhaps not) this might be for gay teens. (Of course I do within this have an opportunity to sleep with other guys over the next year)
I'd appreciate any responses and if you have questions or clarifications I'll answer where I can in the thread or in pm.
June 21st, 2014, 06:33 PM
Re: My odd relationship musings
If he wants to be with you and not her, he needs to break up with her instead of hoping the relationship falls apart conveniently just after he sits his last exam.
June 22nd, 2014, 02:37 AM
Re: My odd relationship musings
Thanks for replying
See, Im not all that sure he really wants to choose me over her just yet, which to be fair I can understand given that for the next year I'm gonna be at uni and would have to maintain a long distance relationship for the most part, wheras he'll be spending that time at college with her. And I know he cares a lot about her too.
And just to clarify, there's quite a gap between him finishing his exams and going to uni; quite a lot of couples do split up when it comes to that stage.