So after 5 years of hardcore dating and meeting new people I realized that I don't have any friends whatsoever.
If I meet someone it is a date and I always want it to lead to some form of physical involvment, at the very least, kissing. I don't do sexdates, it isn't my thing, but anything safe that is not sex is welcome.
Now I just found out that I want kissing and touching, and it is at least as important to me as talking and chatting, and if I am refused I go through the stages og grief and move on, but I never want to be "just friends" with men.
The problem with that is that while I don't feel the need for friends, I sometimes feel extreemely desolated. Lonely even. And often that feeling claws it's way to my mind and I become apathetic for weeks.
I am not interested in women at all, but I did form some form of partnership with one or two female loners, and we go to pubs together, drink a coffe and talk about shit, but I do realize that we really aren't interested in each other's problems and life.
What to do?