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  1. #1
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    Friend "claims" I raped her.

    I will preface the post by saying I'm not sure if this is the right forum/section to post this in..but anyway here I go.

    I have a friend that I have known awhile and while we've playfully flirted at times, nothing really happened between us. Fast forward to a few days ago: we were both intoxicated and one thing led to another and we had sex. Everything was fine between us the morning after and life moved on...until I overhear from a few people saying that she's been telling people that I raped her.

    Rape is a very strong word and I never use it lightly. We were mutually consenting adults (though perhaps not completely sober at the time) and there is absolutely no way I raped her. I don't even understand why she is trying to pull this shit. She states it rather matter-of-factly, which infuriates me. I think she must be joking (and this is no subject to joke about, mind you)...but she has kept up with this "running joke" and it is getting very annoying. She will just blurt out the word "raper" towards me, out of the blue, while discussing other things. Mutual friends are giving me the evil eye and a double-take, and it gets tiring trying to explain things. Why is she trying to damage my reputation?

    I try to talk to her but she stands by her assertion that I took advantage of her. I feel like this a no-win situation for me, as she is the girl, and people will believe her before they will believe me.

    This really is just all kind of messed up...

    Any advice? Is this even a salvageable situation?
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  2. #2
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    Re: Friend "claims" I raped her.

    UGH...I feel sorry for you. I haven't been in the same situation but I have been (and still am) in a situation where a female who was once a friend and who I now hate has spent the better part of my life attempting to control me.....she is sick and she is a toxic bitch....

    I am not sure if I am seeing this because of my own situation but my initial thought is that she is playing a game of control with you and it is very difficult to disengage from it if that is the case. I'm afraid I could use advice more than I can give it myself. The best I have is to just ignore her and not have anyhting to do with her. Did you use protection?

    Maybe it would be a good idea to ask for legal advice? You don't want to let her get into your head very far if you can help it and maybe you could get a perspective from someone who knows the law. She is slandering you.

    I do know one thing...stay away from her in the future! Even if she has a talk with you and you forgive her...never forget who you are dealing with! That was my biggest mistake.
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    Re: Friend "claims" I raped her.

    Quote Originally Posted by eastofeden View Post
    UGH...I feel sorry for you. I haven't been in the same situation but I have been (and still am) in a situation where a female who was once a friend and who I now hate has spent the better part of my life attempting to control me.....she is sick and she is a toxic bitch....

    I am not sure if I am seeing this because of my own situation but my initial thought is that she is playing a game of control with you and it is very difficult to disengage from it if that is the case. I'm afraid I could use advice more than I can give it myself. The best I have is to just ignore her and not have anyhting to do with her. Did you use protection?

    Maybe it would be a good idea to ask for legal advice? You don't want to let her get into your head very far if you can help it and maybe you could get a perspective from someone who knows the law. She is slandering you.

    I do know one thing...stay away from her in the future! Even if she has a talk with you and you forgive her...never forget who you are dealing with! That was my biggest mistake.
    I have very briefly contemplated seeking legal advice but I really don't want to go that route if I don't have to. I very much want this whole event to just disappear without involving more and more people. In a way, I already feel controlled, since the thought of lawyers just scares me. I don't want it to end up being a "my word against hers" kind of scenario.

    We used protection so I am not worried about that. I am planning on ignoring her for the time being and hope all of this just dies down and blows over. I will NEVER see her the same way again, even if she apologizes and cleans up this mess.
    If I had a flower for every time I thought of you…I could walk through my garden forever.
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  4. #4
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    Re: Friend "claims" I raped her.

    I'm so sorry this has happened to you, i think ignoring her and hoping it will all die down is the best idea for now, and of course stay clear of her as much as you can.

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    Re: Friend "claims" I raped her.

    Legal advice as fast as possible. This is a serious question and even when it is proven to be a lie, a rape accusation sticks with you for the rest of your life. Fight back and fight hard. Rape is not something to joke about.
    ¨Beware the fury of a patient man¨ - John Dryden

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    Re: Friend "claims" I raped her.

    To quote Judge Judy the fact that she was fine the next day and not calling the police tells me she is an a hole and disgrace to women every where stay away from her

  7. #7
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    Re: Friend "claims" I raped her.

    ummm you can tell people back she raped you.
    Even.


    NEVER LISTEN TO A ONE SIDED STORY AND JUDGE.

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    Re: Friend "claims" I raped her.

    "Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker." Unfortunately that old saw is still too true.

    I would consult a criminal lawyer immediately. While the impact of her story diminishes over time, consistent accusations of rape tend to lend support. She may have no present intention of going to the authorities, but remember she can go at just about any time. Also, a friend of hers may report the allegations for her. I don't know how old you are, or the laws of your state/country, but the charge and consequences of being labelled a "sexual predator" are in the background.

    It strikes me the girl is sick - but that has become your problem now.

    Seek advice from a qualified criminal attorney.

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    Re: Friend "claims" I raped her.

    Here's what you need to be concerned about: depending on where you live, having non-consensual sex with a person who is impaired by alcohol or drugs can be defined as rape.

    The question of whether it was consensual is your word against her word.

    Because this girl is going around repeatedly insinuating that you raped her, it is time for you to get recommendations from a criminal defense attorney. While the girl doesn't seem to be completely serious, every allegation of rape warrants investigation.

    This is a serious allegation and since you've tried to reason with her without success, it is time that you got advice from an attorney on how to handle the situation.
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    Re: Friend "claims" I raped her.

    As others have suggested, get legal counsel ASAP. Otherwise, with her repeated lies, you might start to believe her lies in the future when you're feeling down.

    Although it is tiring to explain and defend yourself among your peers, keep doing it. You have to keep nipping this rumor at the bud.

    So sorry to hear about this man.

    Jokingly accuse someone as a "raper" is a serious matter...just as one could be arrested for jokingly yelling "fire" in a theater or jokingly yelling "bomb" in an airport.
    Last edited by HunterM; May 2nd, 2014 at 05:45 AM.

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    Re: Friend "claims" I raped her.

    It will look better for you in the long run if records show you sought out legal counsel first.

    Understand this: she is no friend of yours and never should be, even if she has a bizarre sense of humor.
    Everyone wants to be heard. No one wants to listen.

  12. #12

    Re: Friend "claims" I raped her.

    Women can be funny... they're often brought up with Disney princess puritanical ideals of sex and relationships, and to believe that sex is sacred, while dirty and evil. Then once they give into their carnal knowledge they start questioning if they've been used, feel dirty and embarrassed, unable to take credit for their own desires, will point blame at the other party involved... "YOU made me do this!! How dare you!". Unfortunately women have been using sex as a weapon for millions of years. Which isn't to say that women haven't been manipulated for sex too... but I digress...

    I'm not sure ignoring her is the best idea. I fear that would make her feel more used. She's probably embarrassed that all her friends know she slept with you, and thinks they're all going to think she's a whore now.

    I wouldn't begin to know how to go about doing it, but I'd let her know that she wasn't used, and you're not ok with what she's saying.

    Was it her first time? She has sex. She needs to grow up and own up to her own actions too.
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    Re: Friend "claims" I raped her.

    Sorry this is happening to you, unfortunately, not the first time I've heard such a story----woman throw the "r" word around when they don't take personal responsibility for their actions----I'd be really surprised if she does anything about it other than what she already has done and tarnish your reputation.

  14. #14

    Re: Friend "claims" I raped her.

    I'll keep it short.
    Seek legal counsel. She is no friend of yours.

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    Re: Friend "claims" I raped her.

    Lucky said it best - the fact that she's already saying it to people means this person is NOT your friend. I don't care if this is a sadistic joke on her part or if she really feels this way, you need to find a legal recourse before she starts believing the hype - or one of her friends does - and the cops get called on you. Do it today dereperez; you're a smart guy - don't get sent to jail on something that isn't true.
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    Re: Friend "claims" I raped her.

    This isn't the first time this has happened to a guy. It is a very serious accusation that *you* should be taking most seriously of all. I would go speak to a lawyer before she becomes so emboldened to have you arrested. If she's telling people around you that you raped her, this is slander that needs to stop. The only way you are going to stop this is by speaking to a lawyer. Don't sit it out. Too many bad things will happen if you let the rumors continue.

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  17. #17
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    Re: Friend "claims" I raped her.

    What a bitch she has some deep issues.

    Also stay away from her if you "can" it "may" make it worse if you try talking to her about it.

    I think, legal advice is best for this cause "it is" actually a form of slander.
    This once happened to a guy i knew, he got "her" arrested for harassment, she wanted money from him.

    She ended up the criminal, but i do live in UK and i am not sure about other countries rights.


    It does suck but must bite back in this situation, i do hope it blows over for you though.

    Good luck.

  18. #18
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    Re: Friend "claims" I raped her.

    Thanks for all the advice, guys. I guess the smartest thing is for me to take action myself, before she does. This whole thing seemingly came out of nowhere...sigh.
    If I had a flower for every time I thought of you…I could walk through my garden forever.
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  19. #19
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    Re: Friend "claims" I raped her.

    Quote Originally Posted by Telstra View Post
    ummm you can tell people back she raped you.
    Even.
    Umm, no. Rape is nothing to joke about, even if she is on my shit list.

    Quote Originally Posted by palbert View Post
    "Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker." Unfortunately that old saw is still too true.

    I would consult a criminal lawyer immediately. While the impact of her story diminishes over time, consistent accusations of rape tend to lend support. She may have no present intention of going to the authorities, but remember she can go at just about any time. Also, a friend of hers may report the allegations for her. I don't know how old you are, or the laws of your state/country, but the charge and consequences of being labelled a "sexual predator" are in the background.

    It strikes me the girl is sick - but that has become your problem now.

    Seek advice from a qualified criminal attorney.
    Sadly true. It is frightening how easily someone can throw slander around and get a person screwed for life. I will seriously consider seeking legal counsel.

    Quote Originally Posted by KaraBulut View Post
    Here's what you need to be concerned about: depending on where you live, having non-consensual sex with a person who is impaired by alcohol or drugs can be defined as rape.

    The question of whether it was consensual is your word against her word.

    Because this girl is going around repeatedly insinuating that you raped her, it is time for you to get recommendations from a criminal defense attorney. While the girl doesn't seem to be completely serious, every allegation of rape warrants investigation.

    This is a serious allegation and since you've tried to reason with her without success, it is time that you got advice from an attorney on how to handle the situation.
    Even if alcohol was involved...it was consensual.

    Quote Originally Posted by HunterM View Post
    As others have suggested, get legal counsel ASAP. Otherwise, with her repeated lies, you might start to believe her lies in the future when you're feeling down.

    Although it is tiring to explain and defend yourself among your peers, keep doing it. You have to keep nipping this rumor at the bud.

    So sorry to hear about this man.

    Jokingly accuse someone as a "raper" is a serious matter...just as one could be arrested for jokingly yelling "fire" in a theater or jokingly yelling "bomb" in an airport.
    I'll never believe her lies...
    If I had a flower for every time I thought of you…I could walk through my garden forever.
    -Alfred Tennyson.

  20. #20
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    Re: Friend "claims" I raped her.

    Quote Originally Posted by sixthson View Post
    It will look better for you in the long run if records show you sought out legal counsel first.

    Understand this: she is no friend of yours and never should be, even if she has a bizarre sense of humor.
    I know she's not my friend. What a backstabber.

    Quote Originally Posted by borg69unimatrix View Post
    Women can be funny... they're often brought up with Disney princess puritanical ideals of sex and relationships, and to believe that sex is sacred, while dirty and evil. Then once they give into their carnal knowledge they start questioning if they've been used, feel dirty and embarrassed, unable to take credit for their own desires, will point blame at the other party involved... "YOU made me do this!! How dare you!". Unfortunately women have been using sex as a weapon for millions of years. Which isn't to say that women haven't been manipulated for sex too... but I digress...

    I'm not sure ignoring her is the best idea. I fear that would make her feel more used. She's probably embarrassed that all her friends know she slept with you, and thinks they're all going to think she's a whore now.

    I wouldn't begin to know how to go about doing it, but I'd let her know that she wasn't used, and you're not ok with what she's saying.

    Was it her first time? She has sex. She needs to grow up and own up to her own actions too.
    I'm thinking about having a friend of mine talk to her, since me talking to her isn't going well. My friend believes and trusts me. I want to go through with this idea before I do anything else. I think my best bet right now is to stay away from her.

    Quote Originally Posted by nycguydowntown View Post
    Sorry this is happening to you, unfortunately, not the first time I've heard such a story----woman throw the "r" word around when they don't take personal responsibility for their actions----I'd be really surprised if she does anything about it other than what she already has done and tarnish your reputation.
    Even if she doesn't do anything more than what she has already done...she's already tarnished my reputation in front of many.

    Quote Originally Posted by LuckysRevenge View Post
    I'll keep it short.
    Seek legal counsel. She is no friend of yours.
    Quote Originally Posted by MoufOfKhaos View Post
    Lucky said it best - the fact that she's already saying it to people means this person is NOT your friend. I don't care if this is a sadistic joke on her part or if she really feels this way, you need to find a legal recourse before she starts believing the hype - or one of her friends does - and the cops get called on you. Do it today dereperez; you're a smart guy - don't get sent to jail on something that isn't true.
    I will do everything to defend myself.
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    Re: Friend "claims" I raped her.

    What if you just carried on?

    You're not the first. Don't explain yourself. I'm sure many people will already understand and just smile. Some women are just like that, no?

  22. #22
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    Re: Friend "claims" I raped her.

    Quote Originally Posted by dereperez View Post
    Even if alcohol was involved...it was consensual.
    According to the law in California, it could still be considered rape...

    http://www.shouselaw.com/date-rape.html
    Voluntary intoxication may negate consent

    If you have sex with an individual who voluntarily consumes enough alcohol and/or drugs to the point where he/she is unable to resist the sexual encounter, prosecutors could charge you with Penal Code 261 PC date rape.
    http://articles.latimes.com/1995-02-...1_young-people

    This is why we are telling you to discuss what you should do with an attorney now- before you make the situation worse.
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  23. #23

    Re: Friend "claims" I raped her.

    You were drunk too... maybe she raped you?
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  24. #24

    Re: Friend "claims" I raped her.

    Derek,

    this sucks.

    Other than repeating what has already been said regarding consulting a lawyer, I am trying to wrap my brain around how someone could so casually "joke" about rape and have it go on for days without someone realizing she is just full of BS. If she were truly raped, I would think she would be genuinely traumatized where her parents would be consoling her, filing a police report, pressing charges, seeking therapy, medical attention etc.

    My point, it's all very bizarre. I would think, if all these people in your circle had half a brain, they would be wondering the same things, rather than just giving you dirty looks and gossiping. So just based on what you have said here and not being there to fully grasp the scope of the situation, it doesn't sound as serious to the point of having it end with you in prison as a sex offender, being someone's bitch.

    Still seek legal counsel though.

    To me it just sounds more like this girl really did want to sleep with you and she is just pissed at her self for giving in to her desires or whatever, not accepting personal accountability, so it's her twisted sense of humor basically saying "how dare you be so fucking hot you make me lose all self-control". The term "raper" stands out to me.

    In high school and college I had a girlfriend who had that same type of humor. Her and her bff would constantly joke around with each other using the term "raper" or "rape" when they were simply describing how much they liked someone or something. "I'm going to rape this donut." "he's so fucking hot, I want to rape him."

    My gf would often say, "so, you gonna rape me tonight?"
    I learned quickly that was her indirect, defensive way in using humor, albeit twisted; to express how horny she was and how much she wanted me to fuck her. She would also use the term raper whenever we had really good sex the night before. She would pass by me and give me this look of "how dare you" and throw out the term "raper" as she would pass by, but usually you could catch a sly little smirk starting to form that she would be desperately trying to fight. Off-color sarcasm is how I would describe it.

    It sounds like this may be the same sense of humor this girl has with you.
    Not to diminish the seriousness of it all, and not to offend you or anything, but you could be misreading those signs and not fully understanding the meaning behind the words or the tone. Could be you just being overly sensitive about it as well.

    Not sure if any of this helps. But that is one perspective to consider.
    I do agree it is not a salvageable situation and she is not your friend. Treat her with respect and civility, remain calm when having discussions about this to anyone.

    One reason I really have learned now to be more trusting of people before I do anything with anyone.

    Seek legal help. Keep us posted.

  25. #25
    mizanin66
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    Re: Friend "claims" I raped her.

    If you do seek legal advice, don't go near her.

    When my friend was accused of this, he went to seek legal advice for blackmail as she tried to get money, she did get in trouble and was proben to be a liar.


    But i think you don't need to worry to much she "may" drop it after a while.I think she wont act on it she just wants attention, see how it goes if it stops good but, if she continues then get legal advice.

    I get why you "should" be upset about it, my friend was annoyed but talking about it to her "may" make it worse depending on how you go about it.

    If she say's sorry good, but i advice you to watch her in future backstabbing does happen even when you think you know someone, your'e not alone.

    Btw i'm sure it shall blow over try not to let it get to you.

    That is my advice.
    And i spelled haha.

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    Re: Friend "claims" I raped her.

    Quote Originally Posted by KaraBulut View Post
    According to the law in California, it could still be considered rape...



    http://articles.latimes.com/1995-02-...1_young-people

    This is why we are telling you to discuss what you should do with an attorney now- before you make the situation worse.
    This is why that law is very much imperfect. While it justifiably protects a lot of true rape victims...there is too much of a huge gray area. I still stand by my belief that I am not a rapist.

    Quote Originally Posted by borg69unimatrix View Post
    You were drunk too... maybe she raped you?
    I could in theory bring that up...but me thinks that wouldn't end well for me at all.
    If I had a flower for every time I thought of you…I could walk through my garden forever.
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    Re: Friend "claims" I raped her.

    Quote Originally Posted by ElmosToe View Post
    Derek,

    this sucks.

    Other than repeating what has already been said regarding consulting a lawyer, I am trying to wrap my brain around how someone could so casually "joke" about rape and have it go on for days without someone realizing she is just full of BS. If she were truly raped, I would think she would be genuinely traumatized where her parents would be consoling her, filing a police report, pressing charges, seeking therapy, medical attention etc.

    My point, it's all very bizarre. I would think, if all these people in your circle had half a brain, they would be wondering the same things, rather than just giving you dirty looks and gossiping. So just based on what you have said here and not being there to fully grasp the scope of the situation, it doesn't sound as serious to the point of having it end with you in prison as a sex offender, being someone's bitch.

    Still seek legal counsel though.

    To me it just sounds more like this girl really did want to sleep with you and she is just pissed at her self for giving in to her desires or whatever, not accepting personal accountability, so it's her twisted sense of humor basically saying "how dare you be so fucking hot you make me lose all self-control". The term "raper" stands out to me.

    In high school and college I had a girlfriend who had that same type of humor. Her and her bff would constantly joke around with each other using the term "raper" or "rape" when they were simply describing how much they liked someone or something. "I'm going to rape this donut." "he's so fucking hot, I want to rape him."

    My gf would often say, "so, you gonna rape me tonight?"
    I learned quickly that was her indirect, defensive way in using humor, albeit twisted; to express how horny she was and how much she wanted me to fuck her. She would also use the term raper whenever we had really good sex the night before. She would pass by me and give me this look of "how dare you" and throw out the term "raper" as she would pass by, but usually you could catch a sly little smirk starting to form that she would be desperately trying to fight. Off-color sarcasm is how I would describe it.

    It sounds like this may be the same sense of humor this girl has with you.
    Not to diminish the seriousness of it all, and not to offend you or anything, but you could be misreading those signs and not fully understanding the meaning behind the words or the tone. Could be you just being overly sensitive about it as well.

    Not sure if any of this helps. But that is one perspective to consider.
    I do agree it is not a salvageable situation and she is not your friend. Treat her with respect and civility, remain calm when having discussions about this to anyone.

    One reason I really have learned now to be more trusting of people before I do anything with anyone.

    Seek legal help. Keep us posted.
    This is what I am hoping for. She makes it seems like a joke...but that's precisely why she's so messed up. I am not being oversensitive as it is one thing if she were joking with me privately...but this is something completely different since she decides to throw the four-letter word around with others. People will hear and think.
    If I had a flower for every time I thought of you…I could walk through my garden forever.
    -Alfred Tennyson.

  28. #28
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    Re: Friend "claims" I raped her.

    What is the problem with you seeking legal advice?

    Stop talking around it and get to a legal advisor. Now.

  29. #29
    JUB Addict Gentleheart's Avatar
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    Re: Friend "claims" I raped her.

    wowwwwww...seriously?

    First off...she's an asshole. Two--she's definitely not a "friend". Stay away from her...please.

    If you want to talk to her and clarify things, you need to do so discreetly...so that she doesn't suspect why you're trying to get confirmation that she seriously thinks she was raped. She could just be throwing the word about in a semi-joking manner...but still, that's not cool. It's going on far too long, and she even has your friends (whose loyalty I would be SERIOUSLY questioning at this point) believing her/looking at you all crazy and stuff. Hell nah.

    Either way, I agree with everyone that you should be sitting in an attorney's office asap. I know it's intimidating to even have to consider going such a route (when you're not even certain this could escalate), but it's better to be safe than sorry. You don't know what this chick has planned, or if she's just talking shit. Cover you ass though. Don't wait for it to come to YOU.



    I'm here for you if you need to talk. I'm so sorry this has happened to you. I mean, wtf!?
    Last edited by Gentleheart; May 4th, 2014 at 06:46 AM.
    I like to watch...

  30. #30
    JUB Addict RaKroma's Avatar
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    Re: Friend "claims" I raped her.

    First advice is to stop discussing your situation on the internet even if you're innocent. There is no anonymity. And as already has been said, find an experienced lawyer fast and follow the advice. I feel for you because you're her hostage now. She can file a police report at any time and you will be in legal quagmire to prove your innocence. Write down everything, EVERY DETAIL about that day with her: your conversations, interactions, down to what food you ordered and every detail of the sex itself. Memories fade, but in your word against hers, consistency and detail in events is key to investigations.

  31. #31
    Oh, cum now! peeonme's Avatar
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    Re: Friend "claims" I raped her.

    Get legal advise, don't speak of this to anyone, if asked by the cops refer them to your lawyer. So far it's all he said she said, anything from friends would be hearsay, don't talk to her about it.
    Do what your lawyer says, tell him about this thread as he needs to know everything, good luck.

  32. #32
    CupidBoy
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    Re: Friend "claims" I raped her.

    That's horrible. Don't know what to say.

    Best wishes.

  33. #33

    Re: Friend "claims" I raped her.

    Quote Originally Posted by KaraBulut View Post
    According to the law in California, it could still be considered rape...



    http://articles.latimes.com/1995-02-...1_young-people

    This is why we are telling you to discuss what you should do with an attorney now- before you make the situation worse.
    Having drunk sex, when both people are drunk is not illegal and is not rape. Of course, it can be, but when two drunk people have sex, the case gets way too fuzzy. When both are drunk, there is no consensual sex because neither of them can consent. What IS rape is when a sober person has sex with a drunk person, even when he/she 'wants' it, since that person is not competent enough to consent.

    Now lawyer would want to prosecute a case like this. Two drunk adults won't have reliable accounts of the night. If a the female can accuse of rape, the male can as well. If not, that would be gender discrimination, and no one wants to get into that. There's no way you'd be convicted, but it's still serious, as others have said.

  34. #34
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    Re: Friend "claims" I raped her.

    Quote Originally Posted by LiberoK View Post
    Having drunk sex, when both people are drunk is not illegal and is not rape. Of course, it can be, but when two drunk people have sex, the case gets way too fuzzy. When both are drunk, there is no consensual sex because neither of them can consent. What IS rape is when a sober person has sex with a drunk person, even when he/she 'wants' it, since that person is not competent enough to consent.

    Now lawyer would want to prosecute a case like this. Two drunk adults won't have reliable accounts of the night. If a the female can accuse of rape, the male can as well. If not, that would be gender discrimination, and no one wants to get into that. There's no way you'd be convicted, but it's still serious, as others have said.
    A rational assessment.

    To me it seems its more likely she will face damaging herself because her claims is baseless, you can defend yourself better thanks to her.

    Stick to dick - you might have fewer problems.


  35. #35
    JUB Addict GreyUnderscore's Avatar
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    Re: Friend "claims" I raped her.

    Some people are just vile. Go get legal help.

    I believe things will work out for the better.

  36. #36

    Re: Friend "claims" I raped her.

    I am sorry that this happened to you. Yes, I will join the chorus, you need to seek legal advice on how to deal with the situation and her now

  37. #37
    Dimples glasvegas's Avatar
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    Re: Friend "claims" I raped her.

    If you're under alcohol influences, it could argue that it wasn't consensual as your judgement is impaired. Perhaps you should confront her about it

  38. #38
    JUB Addict luckynumbah7's Avatar
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    Re: Friend "claims" I raped her.

    Quote Originally Posted by ElmosToe View Post
    If she were truly raped, I would think she would be genuinely traumatized where her parents would be consoling her, filing a police report, pressing charges, seeking therapy, medical attention etc.
    Not really, no. Most rape kits don't get processed, nor are most people able to coherently go to the police for a while. As an adult it took several days to even wait out most of the shock and you can forget medical attention, it's too goddamned much of an ordeal, what with the general "in what way did you manage to ask for it" trope. And I dropped all the people whose first reaction to seeing me after was laughter. So you can forget about the 'comfort from friends' as well. And by no means, s'far as I'm aware, is my example unusual.

    I did, however, confront the guy about twenty minutes later. I really don't think he's going to be pulling the "ask for anal every three seconds and then decide to ignore all the No's".

    That said, I do know of two people exactly like the op describes. I'd like to smack 'em myself, they certainly help ruin it for everybody.
    If I blow your mind, do you promise not to think in my mouth? - Unknown

  39. #39
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    Re: Friend "claims" I raped her.

    1. Get legal advice.

    2. DO NOT talk to her.

    3. Don't say a thing to anyone else any longer.

    4. Under no circumstances say a single word to any law enforcement people.

    "Thirty-one* states allow all qualified citizens to carry concealed weapons. In those states, homosexuals should embark on organized efforts to become comfortable with guns, learn to use them safely and carry them. They should set up Pink Pistols task forces, sponsor shooting courses and help homosexuals get licensed to carry. And they should do it in a way that gets as much publicity as possible. "

    --Jonathan Rauch, Salon Magazine, March 13, 2000

    *the number is now forty

  40. #40

    Re: Friend "claims" I raped her.

    So Derek either fell in the toilet or he's in jail\prison.

    Yoohoo, sexy ass mofo! Where you at?

  41. #41
    Dejavudoo
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    Re: Friend "claims" I raped her.

    He's been in touch with someone out there. I know he'll be back when he's ready.

  42. #42

    Re: Friend "claims" I raped her.

    I am sorry this is happening with you. I would seek legal advice, just to protect yourself, and stay clear of her. Has she gone to a lawyer pressed charges or anything? if not then maybe just maybe is time for you to clear your name and sue her for " SLANDER" therefore in some ways you show her you have nothing to hide and let people know that she is lying. When i was 18 years old, i knew i was gay, at that time i told myself i was Bisexual. I had a very good friend ( girl). One day she and a friend of hers took advantage of me. They way it happened was that she was mad because i had sucked a guy she liked and when i was honest about it she said she was ok with it...Well one evening we were drinking and at the time i was not very good holding my liquor. She and her friend overpowered me, they said it was a game took my pants off and her friend gave me oral and later she got on top of me and fucked me. I remember the whole scene and remembered saying "NO" but it happened. She later went on to say it was a game but i felt violated. I did not press charges who would have believed me? but i removed myself from her completely. Years later i saw her and she recognized it was wrong of her to do that and apologized she admitted it was a rape and she also admitted it was a pay back for me sucking the guy she liked which she also came to terms that they were not dating and i did not do it to hurt her. Are we friends now? hmmmm no, but i forgave her because she finally apologized. My point is eventually this girl may or may not recognize she was not raped and apologize to you but like i said in the beginning STAY CLEAR OF HER...but don't hide your head in the sand, confront it head on otherwise you seem guilty, talk to someone about it a therapist, your parents, someone who will be on your side...GOOD LUCK..and seek LEGAL ADVICE.
    Last edited by spanishguy; June 3rd, 2014 at 06:51 AM.

  43. #43
    Come again? dereperez's Avatar
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    Re: Friend "claims" I raped her.

    Thanks for all the advice and kind words, guys. I believe it's finally all behind me now. I did end up seeking legal advice and I wrote a long and detailed written account of what happened. I have friends that were able to vouch for me and give written testimonials to my character. I believe the accuser heard about the legal action I was taking through the grapevine and has since stopped her accusations. She and I no longer talk and I am just fine with that.
    If I had a flower for every time I thought of you…I could walk through my garden forever.
    -Alfred Tennyson.

  44. #44

    Falcon16's Avatar
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    Re: Friend "claims" I raped her.

    Hi Derek, let's hope it's behind you now and there's no further issues.

    A big welcome back

  45. #45
    of the 99%
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    Re: Friend "claims" I raped her.

    You took it seriously, and she backed off. Good for you, and I'm glad you can put it behind you.
    #439th oldest member on JUB.

  46. #46
    Labore et Scientia ScottishBiTeen's Avatar
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    Re: Friend "claims" I raped her.

    I'm glad to hear that this is finally behind you. You firmly stood your ground and she (eventually) backed off. It's good you severed all ties with her as well. You don't need someone like that in your life.
    Oh, and welcome back, by the way.

  47. #47

    Re: Friend "claims" I raped her.

    Quote Originally Posted by dereperez View Post
    Thanks for all the advice and kind words, guys. I believe it's finally all behind me now. I did end up seeking legal advice and I wrote a long and detailed written account of what happened. I have friends that were able to vouch for me and give written testimonials to my character. I believe the accuser heard about the legal action I was taking through the grapevine and has since stopped her accusations. She and I no longer talk and I am just fine with that.
    I told you, things need to be confronted head on. When she backed out it was proof she was making it up. Happy for you buddy...thanks for letting us know how things went

  48. #48
    Bammer's Papa
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    Re: Friend "claims" I raped her.

    Quote Originally Posted by dereperez View Post
    Thanks for all the advice and kind words, guys. I believe it's finally all behind me now. I did end up seeking legal advice and I wrote a long and detailed written account of what happened. I have friends that were able to vouch for me and give written testimonials to my character. I believe the accuser heard about the legal action I was taking through the grapevine and has since stopped her accusations. She and I no longer talk and I am just fine with that.
    I actually sighed with relief reading this!

    Ya did good.

    "Thirty-one* states allow all qualified citizens to carry concealed weapons. In those states, homosexuals should embark on organized efforts to become comfortable with guns, learn to use them safely and carry them. They should set up Pink Pistols task forces, sponsor shooting courses and help homosexuals get licensed to carry. And they should do it in a way that gets as much publicity as possible. "

    --Jonathan Rauch, Salon Magazine, March 13, 2000

    *the number is now forty

  49. #49
    Sex God aaggii's Avatar
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    Re: Friend "claims" I raped her.

    Good job! I hope you scared her well. Be careful though, crazy won´t cure easy, keep an eye out there!
    ¨Beware the fury of a patient man¨ - John Dryden

  50. #50
    JUB Addict GreyUnderscore's Avatar
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    Re: Friend "claims" I raped her.

    Oh man that's great to hear! Good idea to cut ties with her. Who knows what else she could do in the future.

    Welcome back

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