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  1. #1

    The sexual experiences of a confused man

    Hi everyone,

    I'm a 21 year old guy living in Israel. I had been struggling with my sexuality, but I have recently come out of the closet and am much happier since. During the past few years I have had some pretty cool experiences, some very fun and exciting and some that just made me feel confused or even dirty.

    So this is basically a post for me to vent out and share all the fun I've had. I won't try to paint a pretty picture - this is all true (except for names and all that). I'll appreciate any feedback you will give me - and it will make my stories get better. Also feel free to ask for more details on any part of the stories.

    Let me know what you think and enjoy

    -------------------------------------------

    Chapter 1 - Matan

    This Part will focus on some special interactions with my high school buddy Matan. Of course we were both 18 in all three occasions. I chose to write about him first, because he was the first man I had any sexual contact with. He is a handsome guy, a bit shorter than me and with a skinny muscular body. his hair is dark blond and his eyes are somewhere between green and brown. He is also mostly straight, and has had lots of girlfriends over the years.

    We always had a sort of weird sexual tension in our relationship. It started with talking a lot about sex, and slowly started getting more and more intense. We would often go pee together and stand next to each other, even when there was room to space out. We would dare each other to take off our pants in class. We even sort of dared ourselves to compare our balls in the bathroom.

    We would also play "chicken" every once in a while. He would place his hand on my knee in class, and would slowly start moving it upwards. I could not resist getting hard as a rock, and would always pre-position my cock to the opposite direction when we would sit together. I would stop him about two-thirds of the way up, and he would call me a wuss. Then we would switch rolls, and he would let me get much higher, sometimes even allowing me to graze his bulge before stopping me.

    I was always very turned on by these games, but also very scared that he might realize just how much I was enjoying it. And yet he was always the one to dare the first dare, to invite me to pee with him or to ask me for tips on how to jerk off. It was both exciting and terrifying.

    And then we got drunk.

    We live in a relatively small town, without much to do, so we would occasionally get a bottle of cheap, shitty vodka or tequila and get drunk in some public park. On one of these Friday nights, we were both in the park with another three or four guys. We had a few drinks, and started running around and acting stupid.

    At some point, I remember Matan chasing me, screaming "Hey, if I catch you I'm gonna rub my dick on your face!". I ran around for a minute, and then decided it would be a good idea to trip. A man of his word, Matan promptly caught up to me, whipped out a chubby not so soft cock and half slapped half rubbed my face with it a couple of times.

    My memory skips ahead to me chasing Matan, the front of my jeans open and my boxers hanging out - I guess we decided to switch roles. I saw him fall over and lie on his back, and I ran and stood over him, with his chest between my legs. I panted and looked up, not sure what I was supposed to do now that I caught him. Then, out of nowhere, I felt his hand on my boxers.

    It was like lightning flowing through me. I was extremely aroused, and my dick shot up in a split second. I was also suddenly very aware of the fact that we were right in the middle of the park, and very visible to our friends running around in the distance.

    He began playing with my hard dick through the underwear, and trying to stroke it. I looked down at his drunk, concentrated face. He told me "Take them off, I want to go like this" and jerked off an imaginary dick floating next to mine. I couldn't resist, and lowered the front of my boxers, freeing my dick into the cold air.

    I looked around, terrified that we might be seen, as he started stroking it quickly and in an almost business-like way. It was the most sexual thing I had experienced at that point, and it felt incredible. Still, I couldn't shake the fear of getting caught, so I told him to follow me and went into some bushes that provided very little cover.

    He followed, and when he arrived he took out his own chubby not soft at all cock and asked me to rub it. I did, but despite the fact that it felt great, I was very confused and a bit overwhelmed by the whole situation. He stopped me rather quickly, claiming that I was hurting him. He pulled my dick out again - and told me he was going to suck it.

    I might have objected if I were a bit more sober, but I did not, and a few seconds later I was sighing with pleasure. His mouth was warm, and he clumsily worked his way up and down the top half of my dick. He didn't take it very deep, and didn't put that much effort into it, but the steady speed and wet mouth felt good enough to me.

    A couple of minutes went by before he stood back up and told me it was my turn to suck him. I felt so confused, I really just wanted to go home and think, but I figured that would be unfair. I was also incredibly curious to see how it would feel to have that thick cock in my mouth. So I got on my knees and took the tip in my mouth.

    The taste surprised me. I saw all the porn stars saying how good their partners dick tastes, so I didn't expect the fleshy, sweaty, kind of ordinary flavor of his thick tip. It didn't taste bad, but I had somehow expected fireworks on my tongue. Oh well.

    I started pushing more and more of his dick into my mouth, trying to take it as deep as I could. He grunted and sighed his appreciation of each extra centimeter I took, and I began enjoying it. His sounds of satisfaction satisfied me very much, and I started to lick his cock and stroke it to try to evoke more and more of those moans.

    It was over as suddenly as it started. Neither of us came, but the weirdness of the situation suddenly caught up with us, and we heard our friends starting to look for us. We were out of the bushes fully dressed in about five seconds, and we all went home shortly after. I jerked off quickly and shot a larger than usual load, before falling to sleep with a mind full of confusing thoughts.

    In the weeks following that night, we both didn't talk about it at all. We saw in each other's eyes that we remembered the night's events very well, but we both acted as if the alcohol had made us forget. Things went on pretty much the way they were, except we didn't play as many games of "chicken" anymore.

  2. #2
    ********* JUB Moderator Autolycus's Avatar
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    Re: The sexual experiences of a confused man

    Hi! Welcome to our story board. True stories are always appreciated here and we look forward to reading all you 'confessions' should you be happy to share them with us. Thanks for this amazing first episode!



  3. #3
    JUB Addict hardreader's Avatar
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    Re: The sexual experiences of a confused man

    I enjoyed the opening to your story and am definitely looking forward to reading more. Your writing is clear and clean and very touchingly sexy as well. Please keep posting!
    "Reading should be easy. Only the reader should be hard." -- hardreader

  4. #4
    JUB Addict Craiger's Avatar
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    Re: The sexual experiences of a confused man

    How exciting to relive vicariously through your experiences those wonderful days of yore....... Welcome, hard1816. It's a pleasure to have you on board. Looking forward to your stories and remembering the confusion and excitement that most of us felt in the beginning.

    Craiger

  5. #5

    Re: The sexual experiences of a confused man

    Hi everyone, thanks for the comments, keep them coming!



    Chapter 2 - More Matan

    One down, two to go.

    During the few weeks after that night at the park, Matan and I basically acted normally. There was a certain awkwardness between us, but not a very significant one. A more significant change was that the sexual tension between us had grown and multiplied a thousand times, and each time we made eye contact my heart started pumping really hard, and another thing would get hard too.

    A few weeks later, we had another night at the park. I had resolved not to get too drunk, in order to avoid having another weird experience with him. It's not that I didn't want to, I had fantasized about it quite a lot but I felt scared and wanted to figure myself and him out before going there again. Unfortunately, or maybe not, things did not go according to plan.

    We had a very fun, normal night at the park. I only had a couple of drinks, so I was mostly sober and we all had a great time. I got through the whole night without any awkwardness, and I was pretty satisfied, but frankly also a bit disappointed. Matan, another friend and I lived in the same area and we started walking home together.

    When we reached my house, Matan suddenly started to act as though he was very drunk. He started to say he didn't want to walk the extra mile to his house as he was afraid he would get lost. He also refused my offer to walk him home, claiming he would be worried about me. The other friend quite quickly lost patience with him and headed off in his own direction, leaving the two of us alone. After a few more failed attempts to convince Matan to go home, I invited him to sleep at my house.

    We entered the house quietly, as both my parents were asleep upstairs. I went to the fridge to get a cup of water and made Matan drink one too. When I put our cups in the sink, I saw that he was looking at me. I met his eyes, and he gave me a goofy smile and didn't move his eyes one bit. The eye contact became uncomfortable to me, so I suggested we go to sleep and started heading out of the kitchen.

    Matan stopped me, and said, "I'm bored, let's do something.” I was starting to lose my self control, my kitchen had suddenly become very hot. "What do you want to do?" I asked and he simply replied, "I will do whatever you want.”

    I had no idea what to do. I could feel the blood rushing all around my body, and filling up my dick. In a last feeble attempt to avoid the situation we both knew where we were going to, I suggested "I'll give you something to eat and then we'll go to sleep.” He agreed and I took a few strawberries out of the fridge.

    He made me feed them to him. Each time I gave him a strawberry he made more and more contact between my hands and his lips. At the last strawberry he started licking my fingers and then took my finger in his hand and gently sucked on it. I was rock hard at this point, and realized I would not be able to resist him anymore.

    "What do you want me to do now?” he asked and I simply responded by pointing at my crotch. He went down on his knees and opened my pants, before lowering my boxers and releasing my dick. This time he was slower and spent a short time at the beginning licking around the shaft and playing with my balls. It felt amazing and when he finally took my tip into his mouth it was even better than before.

    I stopped him, suddenly aware that my parents could come down any second and pulled him over to the tiny guest bathroom. It was barely big enough for both of us to stand inside, so I sat down on the toilet and let him stand in front of me and take out his familiar chubby cock. Now that we were in the light, I took a second to study it. It wasn't any longer than mine, probably average length, but it was as thick as three fingers, slowly getting thicker from the base to the chubby tip.

    I followed his lead and took it slow; I licked his dick all over and even licked his balls a bit, to the sounds of his groans and moans. The flavor was starting to grow on me, not a tasty but a fun flavor. I took the tip in my mouth and starting pumping up and down, a bit deeper each time, making his moans a bit louder.

    After a few minutes I stood up and asked him, "Can I kiss you?” He shook his head quickly and said "No, I don't want to.” The awkward moment passed quickly as he went down on his knees and started sucking me off faster than before, with his hand stroking my base, but not in a clumsy way as on the previous night.

    Before long I was very close to an orgasm, and was kind of caught off guard. I barely managed to pull out of his mouth and turn around before spraying my load all over the toilet, not a drop actually going in. I was so surprised that I didn't get to enjoy it as much as I would have wanted, but it still felt incredible.

    "Did you cum?” he asked and I suddenly felt very tired and embarrassed. "Yeah," I said, "do you want to cum too?” My words didn't make much sense, and he continued jerking himself off for a few seconds before moving me out of the way and cumming. I didn't look, but he let out a large sigh of satisfaction that managed to squeeze one last bit of excitement from me.

    After that we were both very embarrassed. It wasn't one of my finest moments as I asked him to walk home so I could sleep alone and think about this. He seemed a bit insulted but agreed to leave. I lay awake for a long time, a heavy feeling of guilt on my heart and many questions running through my head.

    Am I in love with Matan? Is he even gay? And if he is, why wouldn't he let me kiss him? And if he isn't, why would he work so hard to get into this situation with me? Maybe we were both just horny?

    But the next day, things went on normally, just like the last time.

  6. #6
    JUB Addict Craiger's Avatar
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    Re: The sexual experiences of a confused man

    At that age, you each seemed to be testing your sexuality. Not entirely being gay, but obviously enjoining the new found pleasure. Matan, in each case, setting the pace and starting the exciting events. I understand your confusion and hesitance in allowing these things to progress, however, the lust and hormonal energy seems to always win. Not a bad thing...... Anticipating the next chapter.

    Craiger

  7. #7
    ********* JUB Moderator Autolycus's Avatar
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    Re: The sexual experiences of a confused man

    A great new chapter! Let's hope there is a solution to your confusion in the next episode



  8. #8
    JUB Addict hardreader's Avatar
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    Re: The sexual experiences of a confused man

    Please, keep writing! I like!
    "Reading should be easy. Only the reader should be hard." -- hardreader

  9. #9

    Re: The sexual experiences of a confused man

    Hey, thanks for the comments and sorry it took me a while to write another chapter!

    Chapter 3 - Moving on

    So we left off after Matan and I had two separate sexual encounters. And as I said, in between these encounters we did not talk about it at all. A couple of months after that fun but ultimately uncomfortable night in my house, we were at it for the last time.

    This time I had a more active role in initiating our meeting. The situation was similar to the last two times - we were both a bit drunk and after a night out. He was tired, so he excused himself from the group. I instinctively offered to walk him home, and he accepted, both of us fully knowing at this point where this was going.

    We were walking for about two minutes when Matan starting thanking me a lot for walking him home. "This is really nice of you", he said "I'm going to reward you! Do you know what your reward will be?". I played stupid and said I didn't know, and he answered playfully "you're going get a blowjob!". I didn't react, I suddenly became nervous again. He continued "don't you believe me?" and I told him I didn't.

    He then grabbed my crotch, right there in the middle of the street, gave my package a good rub and asked if I believe him now. The nerves gave way to other, much more pleasant feelings, and we quickly found some bush to hide in.

    Unlike the other times, I was the first one on my knees. He lowered his pants and boxers, and the familiar thick twig sprung up. I took it quickly into my mouth, and played around with my tongue a bit, before beginning to thrust my head up and down the shaft. This went on for a few minutes, before he pulled me up and switched our positions.

    But after only a few seconds of sucking my dick, he suddenly said he didn't feel well. Seconds later he threw up a few steps away. He apologized, said he didn't want to do this anymore because it didn't feel right, and ran home.

    Needless to say I was left pretty surprised and a little disappointed, and even guilty. What had I done that made him run in that way? Could it really be that he was disgusted by these secret meetings all along?

    Sadly, I don't have a happy ending here. We both continued to act as if these encounters had never happened. A certain sexual tension remained between us, but it never came close to realization. Over the years we drifted apart, he has had a few girlfriends, and I had moved on. I like to think one day we'll talk about those nights, even if it is merely to satisfy my curiosity about his take on them.

    On a lighter note - life moves on! It was over a year after we finished high school, and I was living in Jerusalem and traveling a lot back and forth from Tel Aviv. These are the two biggest cities in Israel, about 50 minutes apart on a bus.

    Now I was after over a year without having anything but my hand as a partner, and I was eager to experience and experiment some more. I was still in the closet, and had no idea how I could find and get together with people who were looking for the same.

    One day, I was in the central bus station in Tel Aviv, and I had to pee pretty badly. I went into one of the bathrooms, and entered a stall to do my business. After washing my hands, I turned to exit the bathroom and saw a tall, blonde, European-looking guy standing by the door. He was probably about 25 years old, and I particularly remember he was wearing bright red pants that were slightly small on him.

    Our eyes met, and for some reason I didn't look away. He nodded at me and I politely smiled back, not quite understanding the situation. He started walking towards me, so I stood where I was. He got very close very quickly, and rubbed his hand on my crotch while leaning in to kiss me.

    I was very surprised, and reacted by stepping back and letting out a cry of shock. He looked just as surprised as me, and when he saw my probably frightened face he began to apologize, and left quickly. I stood there another minute, feeling my heart pounding all the way up in my throat and down in my stomach.

    I left the bathroom, and got on my bus. After calming down, I realized I was quite attracted to that European guy, and I became horny and a bit frustrated that I hadn't gone along with him. I resolved to return to that bathroom and check whether such an incident might occur again.

  10. #10
    JUB Addict Craiger's Avatar
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    Re: The sexual experiences of a confused man

    Oh....the fun is starting. Even just learning about where such things happen is part of the newbie process. Trouble is, when it finally is realized, it can become a small obsession. Tasting the fruit always causes greater desire... I love your retelling of your experiences and look forward for more.

    Craiger

  11. #11
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    Re: The sexual experiences of a confused man

    I love this, felt like I was having my first time again. Thank you, and please let us see more!

  12. #12

    Re: The sexual experiences of a confused man

    Hi! Haven't written in a while.
    Keep commenting and giving me ideas on how to write better, what to focus on and so forth.
    Here goes.

    Chapter 3 - Tel Aviv Central

    Well, we left off with me feeling horny and unsatisfied, after a missed opportunity with a very good looking guy. It had been a while since the whole Matan story, and I was starting to go crazy. Gladly, before long I had to go back and do some errands in Tel Aviv again. I had a tight schedule, and had to get back to Jerusalem. I rushed back to the station, and managed to get there five minutes before my bus left. I stood and looked at the bus for a minute, felt my dick grow slightly against my underwear, and caved to it. "Just missed my bus, I'll be late..." I lied via text message to whoever I was supposed to meet in Jerusalem.

    So I was in the station, all alone, with some time to kill. Determined to make good use of this time, I started stalking the bathrooms looking for decent company. The way the bathrooms were built in this station is funny. There are four floors, and two staircases that spiral up all of them. Each staircase leads to four bathrooms between the floors, two men's and two women's. After about thirty minutes, I had climbed a LOT of stairs.

    During this time I had a few unsuccessful tries at hooking up. At one point I stood at a urinal to actually pee, and a man who was about 60 years old stood next to me and started staring and coughing in a way that made me run for the door. I also went into one of the bathrooms and saw an extremely hot, ripped, big guy checking himself out in the mirror. I stood at the entrance and smiled at him, but he just smiled back and asked me for directions to a certain store. I even got stopped by a couple of girls who offered me sex for very cheap in a heavy Russian accent. I politely declined, of course.

    I was just about to give about, and told myself that this bathroom would be the last I would enter (although I admit that was about the fourth time I told myself that). I saw the bathroom was empty, so I decided to go into a stall, jerk off quickly and be on my way. I didn't lock the stall door, and was making a fair amount of noise, between the spit on my dick and an occasional silent moan. I was probably in there for about two minutes, working my hand quickly up and down, when someone slowly opened the door just a bit. I was hoping for this, but still - I panicked. I pushed the door open, hitting him slightly, and ran out the stall into the empty bathroom.

    "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" he half whispered, half shouted "You're not interested?". I turned around to look at him, and saw he was probably in his mid-twenties, tan, with a friendly face full of dark stubble. He was just a bit chubby, with a striped shirt and black pants on.
    "No", I lied, "I'm straight", third lie of the day!
    "I'm sorry, can't blame me for being horny." He joked, and I smiled back. He seemed like a decent guy, but I was still kind of shaken and scared. I worked up some courage and said "you know, if you want I would let you suck my dick". He nodded. "But I won't touch you or anything" would turn out to be the fourth lie.

    He nodded again and retreated back into the stall, motioning me to follow him. I closed the door behind me, locking it this time. He quickly and efficiently grabbed a few pieces of toilet paper and clogged up some peeping holes I hadn't noticed. He then lowered his pants and underwear to his ankles, exposing a thick sausage-like dick, about six inches long with a very slight cure up and right. He sat down on the toilet and before I knew it, my dick was out and in his mouth, his right hand stroking his own dick and his left stroking mine.

    It felt amazing. With all my sympathy for Matan, there was no point in even comparing. He was an expert, taking my dick in deep at times, and at others making quick short strokes up and down the tip. His tongue flailed around his mouth whole time, hitting my tip and base and increasing the pleasure so much. I told him to lick my balls, and he did, taking them in his mouth one at a time, and then working his way slowly back up to the tip. I could fuck his mouth fast and hard, and he never once blocked my thrust or even gagged. It was incredible.

    A few minutes later, I took a few deep breaths, and pulled out of his mouth. I muttered something like "let me try this" and got on my knees in front of him. I did my best to copy his style, but his dick was too big for me, and that slight curve was more trouble than it looked like. I pumped my head up and down about half his cock, pausing every few pumps to lick around his tip. I licked his dick up hand down, occasionally pausing to lick his balls, and this made his breathing become faster. I looked up at him, and he stood me back up, and I kissed him. It was my first kiss with a man, not very romantic, but still fun and satisfying. He kneeled down on the floore and started blowing me again, faster than before. He meant business, and it didn't take long for me to start to feel the cum rising.

    "I'm gonna cum!" I announced.
    "Where do you want to cum?" He asked
    "I don't know... can I be creative?"
    "Sure."
    "In your mouth?" I asked, embarrassed.
    He laughed and mocked me for calling that creative, but promptly continued throwing his head up and down my dick and I couldn't care less. My hard breathing turned into soft, hushed moans and I came a bucket load in his mouth. I think he swallowed, but I was too shaken up by the orgasm to notice. He then let out a short moan and came on the floor, the kind of sticky, heavy cum.

    We quickly got dressed, and he told me to exit first. I asked his name, and he said it was Avi. I exited the stall, and was surprised to see about five men in the bathroom, in line to the stall or just listening. Some middle aged man tried to enter the stall I vacated, and was comically surprised to see that it was not, in fact, vacant. He looked at the stall and back at me, but by that time I was already gone.

  13. #13

    Re: The sexual experiences of a confused man

    And just a small comment - no hate meant to older people or Russians - just wanted to tell the story like it was

  14. #14
    JUB Addict Craiger's Avatar
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    Re: The sexual experiences of a confused man

    Sounds like a very satisfying experience, hard1816. Very erotic! There's always an extra thrill with the knowledge that at any time you could be caught. I'm sure those five men were probably so jealous...... Too bad you didn't get Avi's phone number...

    Craiger

  15. #15
    ********* JUB Moderator Autolycus's Avatar
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    Re: The sexual experiences of a confused man

    Quote Originally Posted by hard1816 View Post
    And just a small comment - no hate meant to older people or Russians - just wanted to tell the story like it was
    No harm done - we all have our preferences and things that can be a 'turn off'. Your story is very erotic, so missing the bus was not a disappointment after all



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