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  1. #51

    Re: The Strange Condition Of J. Smithson 02

    psst... hate to tell ya this Sparky... but it's got a hole in it too!

    http://www.justusboys.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic216959_1.gif

  2. #52

    Re: The Strange Condition Of J. Smithson 02

    It looks like sealing the butt crack was a bad idea. I am expanding and spreading all over the place. I may soon need my own zip code. The things one does to fit in. I should of been satisfied with my unique situation. If I expand into a neighborhood near you, remember I can be placated with triple cheese pizza and butterscotch ice cream. Along with the bloated feeling I am feeling a tad biotchy.
    Last edited by J. Smithson 02; April 9th, 2014 at 12:49 PM.

  3. #53

    Re: The Strange Condition Of J. Smithson 02

    Quote Originally Posted by borg69unimatrix View Post
    psst... hate to tell ya this Sparky... but it's got a hole in it too!

    Please don't add to my worries. I have learned my lesson I ain't gonna have any more of my exit holes plugged.

    If I am truly full of sh*t now, there is only one remedy a career in politics. I think I could become a Republican front runner with these qualifications.

  4. #54

    Re: The Strange Condition Of J. Smithson 02

    To become a politician do they accept individuals who can stretch the truth until it loses all credibility? Do they accept people that are a little out of touch with commonplace reality? As long as I don't have to abandon my pajamas and my ratty old bathrobe, I will have to give this some serious thoughts. I will have to invest in some abestos lined undies as my buns get overheated if I think too much. It is bad enough I smell of mothballs, scorch marks on the undies I have to get away from that, that could sink my political ambitions before I even get started. Maybe I should become a master of this new fangled social media. Maybe it is time for J. Smithson 02 to embrace the 20th Century.

  5. #55

    Re: The Strange Condition Of J. Smithson 02

    They were talking one day on "The View" about periods. Yet another way to signal out the uniqueness of J. Smithson 02. Here I am a man who will soon me in his mid forties, and I can't recall ever having a period at any point in my life. I feel like a unicorn. So I ask my fellow men what have I been missing? I feel so deprived. You all get to have this monthly visitor and I am left lonely. Some people get to have all the fun. Guys I think I need a cyber group hug, I am starting to get a complexion. Maybe I should consult a Gieco Cologist, they do double duty advice on issues like this and sell car insurance. I am a bit anxious about letting that computer generated lizard near my genesecouis though. Oh the trials and tribulations of J. Smithson 02.

  6. #56
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    Re: The Strange Condition Of J. Smithson 02

    Your posts bring a smile to my lips and a laugh from my mouth each and every time. Thanks..........

  7. #57

    Re: The Strange Condition Of J. Smithson 02

    Quote Originally Posted by medic1 View Post
    Your posts bring a smile to my lips and a laugh from my mouth each and every time. Thanks..........
    I am glad you are enjoying them.

  8. #58

    Re: The Strange Condition Of J. Smithson 02

    Maybe I should start a fitness regime. Find a way to transform the manboobs into spectacular pecs. Trade the pizza belly in for washboard abs. Then there is my big fat butt. There was a legal question about my big fat butt. You see I didn't see my big fat butt coming; it just snuck up behind me. Well I thought that meant plausible deniability; but then I am reminded that posession is nine tenths of the law. There is probably an exercise to make my butt more upwardly mobile.

    So I may buy Sweatin' To The Oldies, hunker down in the lazy boy chair with pizza on hand and butterscotch ice cream and watch the people exercise, that should mean the pounds should just melt away. I am a man with a plan.
    Last edited by J. Smithson 02; April 11th, 2014 at 08:20 PM.

  9. #59

    Re: The Strange Condition Of J. Smithson 02

    Watching the exercise tape while pigging out, sitting in the lazy boy chair is not working; I have gained a pound or two since starting.

  10. #60
    JUB 10k Club palbert's Avatar
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    Re: The Strange Condition Of J. Smithson 02

    Pushing the recliner back when you sit and pulling it forward when you arise will burn up that fat.

  11. #61
    stop the bullshit rareboy's Avatar
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    Re: The Strange Condition Of J. Smithson 02

    I suggest getting one of those vibra-massager recliners.

  12. #62

    Re: The Strange Condition Of J. Smithson 02

    Quote Originally Posted by BENDERBOY View Post
    Same here. it's brill to have someone with a fabulous sense of humour posting.
    Thank you; I will keep trying to come up more stuff to make you and the other thread posters and readers laugh.

  13. #63

    Re: The Strange Condition Of J. Smithson 02

    Quote Originally Posted by palbert View Post
    Pushing the recliner back when you sit and pulling it forward when you arise will burn up that fat.
    Quote Originally Posted by rareboy View Post
    I suggest getting one of those vibra-massager recliners.
    Thanks for the advice guys; I will keep that it mind. I borrowed my sister's cellphone once. I left it on vibrator mode and put it in my hip pocket. They should add more warnings on those things. A call came in on the phone and I nearly had an organism.

  14. #64

    Re: The Strange Condition Of J. Smithson 02

    I just had a visit to the Geico-cologists. I had some strange sounds coming from my pizza belly. It was a precautionary visit. I watched that demon baby YouTube video advertizing that new movie. Well anyway even though I am male, soon to be middle aged, and practically a virgin I just had to rule out the possibility. Just about the only way I could be pregnant is if I got sucked up to a mothership and illegal aliens from outspace decided to probe me and implant me. I don't have any memories of any such event, but they could of zapped my brain so I don't remember that happening.

    There I was at the Gieco Cologist's office with the gown on and my legs in the stirrups. The Doctor was quite the salesman, I don't even own a vehicle or could drive one any way, but I am signed up for a year's automobile insurance. Well anyway he lifted the gown, and he reeled in shock, became cross eyed and his boss has sent him home for six months mandatory bed rest. But we now know for certain it was just gas and J. Smithson 02 is not in the process of multiplying. Unfortunately that gas let itself be known at the Gieco Cologist Office, why oh why did I eat those pickles with the extra garlic? Windows had to be opened, but it worked out to their benefit, they had ordered new wallpaper, and thanks to my little outburst the old wallpaper came peeling off the walls.

    Oh the trials and tribulations of J. Smithson 02. I have been assured that they expect a full recovery for the Gieco Cologists, they say within twenty fours hours his eyes went back to their original state. The facial tick and shakes are expected to be gone in three months and the additional three months is for the psychological trauma.
    Last edited by J. Smithson 02; April 15th, 2014 at 07:52 AM.

  15. #65

    Re: The Strange Condition Of J. Smithson 02

    Everyone has a different constitutionality. I am finding that when I am constipated that I tend to lean toward the right wing of the political spectrum. Now that I have incorporated oat bran into my diet and I am regular, I am galloping to the left wing of the political spectrum. If I had a colonic I might become a peace loving hippy dippy flower power socialist.

    Now that we are immersed into the 20th Century, one hears new phrases in the language. It is so easy to get confused. If one has a big butt, one has as they say "my junk is in my trunk". I suppose if one is sexually active and doesn't have very good hiegincals that one could have spunk and gunk in one's trunk. One does try to keep up with the lingo of the day. I have always said that one should get a firm grip on one's vanaculars. Not too firm a grip or one might end up going stirile.

    What one watches can have an effect one's behavior. They say that Sadam Hussein's favorite movie during his formative years was "The Godfather". Now if he would have liked "The Sound Of Music" instead; he may have never took on the role of a dictator, but he could have been alive today trapsing the Alps wearing his laderhosen singing some catchy little ditty from that musical. Well I suppose it is just conjecturological or just a hypothereticalogical proposition, but he may of had a better fate. Well that was just some radom musilix that was rambling around in my brain and I just had to write it down.
    Last edited by J. Smithson 02; April 21st, 2014 at 01:32 PM.

  16. #66
    Whatever
    redfox70's Avatar
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    Re: The Strange Condition Of J. Smithson 02

    This thread has me


  17. #67

    Re: The Strange Condition Of J. Smithson 02

    Quote Originally Posted by redfox70 View Post
    This thread has me

    I am glad that you are getting a laugh out of my posts.

  18. #68
    JUB Addict backagain's Avatar
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    Re: The Strange Condition Of J. Smithson 02

    Quote Originally Posted by J. Smithson 02 View Post
    I am glad that you are getting a laugh out of my posts.
    *Shoves a Jaffa Cake between his cheeks*

  19. #69
    JUB 10k Club palbert's Avatar
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    Re: The Strange Condition Of J. Smithson 02

    Well, so much for these guys.

  20. #70
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    Re: The Strange Condition Of J. Smithson 02

    How is OJ Simpson doing?

    I hope he is well.

  21. #71
    stop the bullshit rareboy's Avatar
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    Re: The Strange Condition Of J. Smithson 02

    Quote Originally Posted by palbert View Post
    Well, so much for these guys.
    It is the problem when they peak too soon. Or put down the bong.

  22. #72
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    Re: The Strange Condition Of J. Smithson 02

    ^I have heard you orgasm in like a minute....

  23. #73

    Re: The Strange Condition Of J. Smithson 02

    I am still around. I just ran out of funny material.

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