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  1. #1
    Virgin onataria's Avatar
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    Am I abnormal? I feel like I am.

    Hey guys, first time posting in this area but I feel like I need some advice from someone in the community as such.

    I am gay. I know I am. 100%. I have no attraction to women whatsoever except as friends and can appreciate if they are gorgeous.

    But I can't stand anal sex. There's been many times when I've been at the point of it, even with my old secondary school/high school crush but I couldn't do it. Even when prepped properly, I found it too weird and too awkward.

    I love giving and recieving blowjobs but I constantly get rejected by guys because I won't let them fuck me.

    Is this normal in the gay community or am I like a freak of nature in the community?

    It's gotten to the point where I doubt I'll find someone who would like me for me, regardless of whether or not I'd give or recieve.

    I'd appreciate and and all advice you guys could give me.

    Thanks in advance,

    John aka Onataria.

  2. #2
    Do I dare to eat a peach?
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    Re: Am I abnormal? I feel like I am.

    There is nothing wrong with you: some guys like anal, some don't. If the other guy can't respect your limits then you probably don't need him. You will eventually find someone; just stay your own course.

  3. #3
    Lions&Tigers&Bears Oh My!
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    Re: Am I abnormal? I feel like I am.

    You are not abnormal. I have the opposite thing...I can't stand oral...giving or receiving...but I love anal...and I have been with my man 28 years with only a few BJs under our belt. I knew I was risking losing his interest when I told him BUT that didn't happen...obviously...and we still have a great sex life after all these years.

    Most gay men can't understand how that can happen without oral...but it can and it does. You have to be true to yourself...period.

    ...and you will have an easier time than me because a lot of men like oral but no anal...trust me...I got around and met a lot of them. You'll be fine

  4. #4
    On the Prowl
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    Re: Am I abnormal? I feel like I am.

    I believe that you're not the only in this. Some people might find anal too uncomfortable or difficult to go through with. I'm sure there'll be someone out there that would respect you for it.

    Or if you want to actually get over your aversion to anal, you could try playing with yourself? With maybe a toy or something. Try getting used to the idea? I mean I'm not particularly sure why you don't like/feel weird about anal. Maybe identifying it might help you.

  5. #5
    Ruminating
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    Re: Am I abnormal? I feel like I am.

    You are not alone because someone recently started a thread stating the same thing.

    John, have you ever been in love or in a relationship? I ask because the kind of intimacy that comes in a loving relationship can make a difference. Even in a loving relationship you might not like it, but trust has a way of making us consider other things.
    It wasn't until I was in love that I considered all the places my dick could go, but in all honesty, when I first saw his erection, I thought no way was that going in my butt. I know how big and hard it felt in my hand, I just couldn't imagine it fitting back there or even feeling good. It just held no interest for me, but after spending time loving each other and exploring his body with my tongue, I began to reconsider.

    Ultimately, you don't have to like anything just because it is expected of you.
    Everyone wants to be heard. No one wants to listen.

  6. #6
    I'm now a grandfather! JUB Moderator Seasoned's Avatar
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    Re: Am I abnormal? I feel like I am.

    My husband and I are going on 31 years and it's mostly been oral. The right guy will come along. Just be open with that guy and I'm guessing you'll occasionally be open (no pun intended) to it. Don't worry and don't do anything you don't want to do.
    "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."--Dr. Seuss

  7. #7
    Virgin onataria's Avatar
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    Re: Am I abnormal? I feel like I am.

    Thanks for replying guys. I've tried using a finger but it just feels weird and not normal.to be honest. The only way I think I'd ever feel comfortable is if it was with someone I 100% trust.

  8. #8
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    Re: Am I abnormal? I feel like I am.

    It's normal. You're called a top. Although a lot of guys do tend to have problems if you're a total top.
    One way is to feel comfortable with ass play so you can take dick up the ass. First, clean yourself up (enema would be the best) then use a lubed finger or finger inside a lubed condom. Try playing with your ass by fingering yourself. Always use lube otherwise it WILL hurt. And that's the reason most guys hate a finger up their ass. Even I don't like a bare finger up my ass because it DOES hurt. I'd rather have a cock up my ass than a bare finger.
    Try to make yourself comfortable with the idea. Not only physically but mentally. When you can finger your hole with two fingers in a lubed condom and liking it, then get a guy to fuck you. Sniffing some poppers also tend to open you up more easily also but it's not necessary.

    Then tell us how it goes. It would take about a few months to get fully comfortable with it.

  9. #9
    nerd of prey hylas's Avatar
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    Re: Am I abnormal? I feel like I am.

    Some guys just aren't into anal. You don't say anything about whether or not you're into being the active partner during anal sex, but either way, both exists. I'd be upfront about it on dating and hook-up profiles, that filters out the incompatible ones right away.

  10. #10
    Virgin onataria's Avatar
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    Re: Am I abnormal? I feel like I am.

    I wouldn't say I'm a total top. I mean I feel like I want to bottom, and have been fingered as well but I wasn't comfortable with it at the time. I also wouldn't say I'm much of a top given my "size" in the basement as you could say x.x

  11. #11
    PerScientiam AdJustitiam bankside's Avatar
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    Re: Am I abnormal? I feel like I am.

    Do you think it is sexy in theory but weird in reality, or do you just not find it erotic at all?
    Americans need to keep their guns so they can protect themselves from gun violence just like Nancy Lanza did. And like Chris Kyle did. And like Gabby Giffords did. And like Tom Clements did. And like Michael Piemonte. And Joseph Wilcox.

  12. #12
    JUB Addict maxpowr9's Avatar
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    Re: Am I abnormal? I feel like I am.

    I'm not a fan of anal either for various reasons.

    Just like there are some straight guys that don't like "eating out" women.

    As long as you are upfront about your likes/dislikes sexually, there should be no issues.

  13. #13
    Come again? dereperez's Avatar
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    Re: Am I abnormal? I feel like I am.

    You're completely normal. The guys that ditched you because you didn't want anal weren't worth your while to begin with. People are going to be different. Don't settle for guys that don't respect your boundaries. Be true to yourself and you will find the guy that you are compatible with.

  14. #14
    Are u haleloo ya ? Telstra's Avatar
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    Re: Am I abnormal? I feel like I am.

    I don't like anal play either because of the ewww factor.
    But playing just outside the hole is ok.


    NEVER LISTEN TO A ONE SIDED STORY AND JUDGE.

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