JustUsBoys.com gay porn forum

logo

remove these banner ads by becoming a JUB Supporter.

Results 1 to 38 of 38
  1. #1
    Porn Star jubdown5's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Long Island
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Available
    Posts
    308

    Code of Conduct

    Do You Ever Settle?

    I came out to close friends and some family in the Summer of 2013. I've known my whole life that I was gay, but just didn't feel comfortable enough to tell anyone until last year.

    My first time pursuing other guys was late 2011. So I've been actively searching for guys for a little over 2 years, but haven't had much luck yet.

    It's hard meeting guys online and judging their pictures because they can be really attractive to me in person, but just be a horrible picture taker.

    I know what I like when I see it and I can tell that right away when some guys hit me up that I'm not into them. Should I still give them a shot? I really don't want to have to settle for someone I'm not truly attracted to.

    I'd say I'm a great catch Lol, but I don't know how long it'll be before I find someone worthwhile.
    Long Island Dude. 22 Years Young & Physically Fit.

  2. #2
    Sex God
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Location
    brooklyn
    Gender
    Male
    Status
    Available
    Posts
    539

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Do You Ever Settle?

    Relax and meet people. You are correct that the person live is sometimes better looking and better than the picture in more ways than one. You are still on the discovery phase. It will take you a few years to outgrow it. ...then there's the slut phase...

  3. #3
    Porn Star jubdown5's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Long Island
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Available
    Posts
    308

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Do You Ever Settle?

    Quote Originally Posted by bruce379 View Post
    Relax and meet people. You are correct that the person live is sometimes better looking and better than the picture in more ways than one. You are still on the discovery phase. It will take you a few years to outgrow it. ...then there's the slut phase...
    Thanks for the advice. I've actually been going thru a slut phase . Since 2014 started I've already messed around with about 7 guys and probably like 15 total since December.

    Last time was a week ago. I'm slowing down now though. Want meet guys other ways. I'm 22 by the way.

  4. #4
    JUB Addict darden's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Location
    Jersey City
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Partnered
    Posts
    1,242

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Do You Ever Settle?

    I wouldn't use the word "settle," but I've found that when I meet a guy that I have real chemistry with, a lot of things that may have been on my must-have list don't seem to matter all that much.

  5. #5

    Re: Do You Ever Settle?

    Quote Originally Posted by jubdown5 View Post
    I came out to close friends and some family in the Summer of 2013. I've known my whole life that I was gay, but just didn't feel comfortable enough to tell anyone until last year.

    My first time pursuing other guys was late 2011. So I've been actively searching for guys for a little over 2 years, but haven't had much luck yet.

    It's hard meeting guys online and judging their pictures because they can be really attractive to me in person, but just be a horrible picture taker.

    I know what I like when I see it and I can tell that right away when some guys hit me up that I'm not into them. Should I still give them a shot? I really don't want to have to settle for someone I'm not truly attracted to.

    I'd say I'm a great catch Lol, but I don't know how long it'll be before I find someone worthwhile.
    Are your standards TOO high? I mean, some guys have this list of "Must Haves..." that's so complex that No One could ever hope to meet their standards and qualifications.

    I'm not saying to go out with any bum off the street that's willing, but also, try to keep a realistic approach to whatever it is you're looking for.
    http://www.justusboys.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic216959_1.gif

  6. #6
    Sex God
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Location
    brooklyn
    Gender
    Male
    Status
    Available
    Posts
    539

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Do You Ever Settle?

    Quote Originally Posted by jubdown5 View Post
    Thanks for the advice. I've actually been going thru a slut phase . Since 2014 started I've already messed around with about 7 guys and probably like 15 total since December.

    Last time was a week ago. I'm slowing down now though. Want meet guys other ways. I'm 22 by the way.
    Relax. You're young, guys are lucky to find their soulmate in their 20s. Most guys don't really settle down until they're priced out of the market in their 30s so to speak
    Last edited by bruce379; February 12th, 2014 at 12:36 PM.

  7. #7
    Porn Star jubdown5's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Long Island
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Available
    Posts
    308

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Do You Ever Settle?

    Quote Originally Posted by borg69unimatrix View Post
    Are your standards TOO high? I mean, some guys have this list of "Must Haves..." that's so complex that No One could ever hope to meet their standards and qualifications.

    I'm not saying to go out with any bum off the street that's willing, but also, try to keep a realistic approach to whatever it is you're looking for.
    That's the thing. I really don't have "standards" aside from I am really not attracted to guys who are so skinny they look sick or so fat that they look sick.

    Oh and I am not attracted to overly feminine guys. Guys who are borderline females are a huge turn off.

    It's a case by case thing though. Just like I love high top sneakers, but doesn't mean I like ALL high top sneakers.

    I guess it's just frustrating because it seems like guys aren't giving me a chance to show them how great of a guy I am. I've had a lot of "one and dones". I wish they could take the time to get to know me just like all my straight friends have.

  8. #8

    Re: Do You Ever Settle?

    I can see that too...

    It's like guys are in such a hurry to win the race and cross the finish line finding Mr. Right that they don't take the time to notice the scenery on the way to that finish line. They've taken Speed Dating to a whole new level.
    http://www.justusboys.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic216959_1.gif

  9. #9
    Porn Star jubdown5's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Long Island
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Available
    Posts
    308

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Do You Ever Settle?

    Quote Originally Posted by borg69unimatrix View Post
    I can see that too...

    It's like guys are in such a hurry to win the race and cross the finish line finding Mr. Right that they don't take the time to notice the scenery on the way to that finish line. They've taken Speed Dating to a whole new level.
    Yeah it's crazy. I would even like a friend with benefits Lol. Don't necessarily want a boyfriend. And in the 2 years I've been searching, I've only gotten ONE successful friend with benefits.

    We met in September. Still talk and see each other to this day! He's 43 (double my age), German, very masculine, very hot. He's in an open relationship though and lives in Cali. He is in NY a lot though.

    There's so much to choose from in NY I really thought I'd at least have a FWB who I can be friends with and mess around with here and there...

  10. #10

    Re: Do You Ever Settle?

    I think for whatever reasons now days, guys are scared to commit to one guy.

    It's like they're scared to "settle" for one guy for fear of missing out on something better that might come by tomorrow.
    http://www.justusboys.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic216959_1.gif

  11. #11
    Sex God
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Location
    brooklyn
    Gender
    Male
    Status
    Available
    Posts
    539

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Do You Ever Settle?

    Hey if you want a fwb, I'd like to apply for the position

  12. #12

    Re: Do You Ever Settle?

    New York... meet Brooklyn !!!! That's do-able, isn't it ???

    ... if you guys hook up, are you going to tell us all about it ??? LOL
    http://www.justusboys.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic216959_1.gif

  13. #13
    Porn Star jubdown5's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Long Island
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Available
    Posts
    308

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Do You Ever Settle?

    haha I would deff tell you guys about it !

    but yeah it sucks because I'm VERY big on communication . I just wish I knew why the guy stopped answering . it's like I caught feelings or am attached, but if we had a good time and it was hot/heavy, why not do it again ?

    I'd like to know if I did something wrong or wasn't what he expected etc etc.
    Long Island Dude. 22 Years Young & Physically Fit.

  14. #14

    Re: Do You Ever Settle?

    Quote Originally Posted by jubdown5 View Post
    haha I would deff tell you guys about it !

    but yeah it sucks because I'm VERY big on communication . I just wish I knew why the guy stopped answering . it's like I caught feelings or am attached, but if we had a good time and it was hot/heavy, why not do it again ?

    I'd like to know if I did something wrong or wasn't what he expected etc etc.
    Hook up with Bruce379 and He can give us some scientific data on what you're doing wrong.
    http://www.justusboys.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic216959_1.gif

  15. #15
    Lascivious Lush altlover85's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Dating
    Posts
    5,873

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Do You Ever Settle?

    I've found that the guys that I have had the longest and best relationships with were the guys that weren't exactly what I thought I'd be looking for. It helps to have an open mind and not to judge a book by its cover.

    Good luck!

  16. #16
    Porn Star jubdown5's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Long Island
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Available
    Posts
    308

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Do You Ever Settle?

    Quote Originally Posted by altlover85 View Post
    I've found that the guys that I have had the longest and best relationships with were the guys that weren't exactly what I thought I'd be looking for. It helps to have an open mind and not to judge a book by its cover.

    Good luck!
    True. That is good advice. I've definitely messed with guys who don't fall in line with what my "type" is, but of course things didn't work out. Having an open mind is essential.

  17. #17

    Re: Do You Ever Settle?

    I don't understand how anyone could turn down those thighs !?!?!?
    http://www.justusboys.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic216959_1.gif

  18. #18
    Porn Star jubdown5's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Long Island
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Available
    Posts
    308

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Do You Ever Settle?

    Quote Originally Posted by borg69unimatrix View Post
    I don't understand how anyone could turn down those thighs !?!?!?
    not only my thighs, but my personality, face, body, charm... guys are missing out =/
    Long Island Dude. 22 Years Young & Physically Fit.

  19. #19

    Re: Do You Ever Settle?

    Quote Originally Posted by jubdown5 View Post
    not only my thighs, but my personality, face, body, charm... guys are missing out =/
    Well... as far as packages go, you certainly seem to have plenty of good ones - Inside and out.

    That can only mean a few things:

    1. You're looking in the wrong places.
    2. You're not advertising yourself correctly.
    3. You have some inherent major flaw you're not telling us, or don't realize you have. (Mostly Joking!!! ).
    4. You're too picky.
    5. You're not giving them enough of a chance.
    http://www.justusboys.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic216959_1.gif

  20. #20
    Porn Star jubdown5's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Long Island
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Available
    Posts
    308

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Do You Ever Settle?

    Quote Originally Posted by borg69unimatrix View Post
    Well... as far as packages go, you certainly seem to have plenty of good ones - Inside and out.

    That can only mean a few things:

    1. You're looking in the wrong places.
    2. You're not advertising yourself correctly.
    3. You have some inherent major flaw you're not telling us, or don't realize you have. (Mostly Joking!!! ).
    4. You're too picky.
    5. You're not giving them enough of a chance.
    I must be looking in the wrong places. I found out from a guy that most guys I meet actually just like meeting up once regardless of how good it was. I guess it's a masculine/macho/immature thing that the guys I've talked to do.

  21. #21

    Re: Do You Ever Settle?

    So they're choosing quantity over quality. Do you suppose that's some fear of commitment?

    Are you using DATING apps/sites, or Hookup ones to meet guys?
    http://www.justusboys.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic216959_1.gif

  22. #22
    PerScientiam AdJustitiam bankside's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    The Middle of Snowwhere.
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Married (to a man)
    Posts
    16,120
    Blog Entries
    2

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Do You Ever Settle?

    There are lots of people happy with one-and-done, and there are lots of people looking for relationships. These groups don't usually overlap though. So "I'm not necessarily looking for a relationship" vs. "why don't they call me back" seems like a mixed message, and I would definitely take a pass even though I like your thighs.

    I didn't settle, and I don't recommend anyone should settle. I found my guy in my 20s when we were both looking for a relationship, and that's how I wanted to get to know him. Not with a quick fuck and see how things go. We were after something permanent from the start, and so mostly we were figuring out if that would work for both of us. But if either of us had wanted to start out with something casual, it would have never happened. We were attractive to each other...and then didn't fuck...until we figured out that we were both into building a life together.

    But what passes my test is not the same as yours. If you're looking for someone who can begin casual and then switch to long term, expect it will take a while to find the right guy.
    Last edited by bankside; February 13th, 2014 at 06:05 PM.
    Americans need to keep their guns so they can protect themselves from gun violence just like Nancy Lanza did. And like Chris Kyle did. And like Gabby Giffords did. And like Tom Clements did. And like Michael Piemonte. And Joseph Wilcox.

  23. #23
    Porn Star jubdown5's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Long Island
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Available
    Posts
    308

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Do You Ever Settle?

    Hmmm well I'm using hookup apps Lol but I am stating what I'm looking for and what kind of guy I am. What are some good DATING apps to use?

    I've only used Grindr/A4A/CraigsList. I have good bios on all of them.

  24. #24

    Re: Do You Ever Settle?

    Quote Originally Posted by jubdown5 View Post
    Hmmm well I'm using hookup apps Lol but I am stating what I'm looking for and what kind of guy I am. What are some good DATING apps to use?

    I've only used Grindr/A4A/CraigsList. I have good bios on all of them.
    People on those sites don't read Bios. They look at a pic and decide if they want to Fuck or not.

    Okcupid is claimed to be a dating site, but don't expect them to NOT have flakes on there too. I used to chat on gay.com a lot, but it too was mixed with those looking for LTR and the Cum&Runners.
    http://www.justusboys.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic216959_1.gif

  25. #25
    Porn Star jubdown5's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Long Island
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Available
    Posts
    308

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Do You Ever Settle?

    Quote Originally Posted by borg69unimatrix View Post
    People on those sites don't read Bios. They look at a pic and decide if they want to Fuck or not.

    Okcupid is claimed to be a dating site, but don't expect them to NOT have flakes on there too. I used to chat on gay.com a lot, but it too was mixed with those looking for LTR and the Cum&Runners.
    Hmmm well I've decided to take a break for now. I've been pretty permiscuous over the past 2 months Lol so I'm just slowing down. Gonna take new pics, get tested just to be on the safe side and come up with a new bio.

    Tired of constantly checking Grindr/A4A/CL constantly. Maybe next month I'll make a return.

    I need new methods of finding guys.

  26. #26

    Re: Do You Ever Settle?

    Post the pic's here at JUB. You never know! Probably a lot of NY'ers here !?!?
    http://www.justusboys.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic216959_1.gif

  27. #27
    Porn Star jubdown5's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Long Island
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Available
    Posts
    308

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Do You Ever Settle?

    Quote Originally Posted by borg69unimatrix View Post
    Post the pic's here at JUB. You never know! Probably a lot of NY'ers here !?!?
    Idk where to post them

  28. #28

  29. #29
    You Belong To Me reone's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Atlanta
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Single
    Posts
    15,169
    Blog Entries
    2

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Do You Ever Settle?

    Wait, so are you looking for a relationship or someone to just casually have sex with? I'm a little confused as to what you are searching for from your posts. Are you sure that you know which one you actually want or are prepared for at this time? OkCupid is good, but even on there people express that they are looking for different things. I would suggest knowing exactly what you want and then trying to find that.


    Soul meets soul on lovers' lips...


  30. #30
    Porn Star jubdown5's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Long Island
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Available
    Posts
    308

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Do You Ever Settle?

    Quote Originally Posted by reone View Post
    Wait, so are you looking for a relationship or someone to just casually have sex with? I'm a little confused as to what you are searching for from your posts. Are you sure that you know which one you actually want or are prepared for at this time? OkCupid is good, but even on there people express that they are looking for different things. I would suggest knowing exactly what you want and then trying to find that.
    I really just want a friend with benefits. A guy I can be friends with and go places with, but also mess around with. I do ultimately want a relationship, but I'd like a steady FWB. Someone who is just as into me as I'm into them and it could be 9pm on a Thursday night and we'll just decide to hang out/mess around.

    Pretty much just mutual attraction and good conversation...

  31. #31
    Porn Star jubdown5's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Long Island
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Available
    Posts
    308

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Do You Ever Settle?

    Long Island Dude. 22 Years Young & Physically Fit.

  32. #32
    You Belong To Me reone's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Atlanta
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Single
    Posts
    15,169
    Blog Entries
    2

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Do You Ever Settle?

    Quote Originally Posted by jubdown5 View Post
    I really just want a friend with benefits. A guy I can be friends with and go places with, but also mess around with. I do ultimately want a relationship, but I'd like a steady FWB. Someone who is just as into me as I'm into them and it could be 9pm on a Thursday night and we'll just decide to hang out/mess around.

    Pretty much just mutual attraction and good conversation...
    I say try OkCupid when you decide to give it another go if you haven't already. Plenty of people on there are looking for that kind of setup, with the potential for more. Plus I would imagine that it gives you a little more information about the person that you'd be potentially talking to than hook-up apps so you'll know if there's a lot in common.. Good luck!

    Beautiful body, also <3.


    Soul meets soul on lovers' lips...


  33. #33

    Re: Do You Ever Settle?

    That's freakin' awesome!
    http://www.justusboys.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic216959_1.gif

  34. #34
    Porn Star jubdown5's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Long Island
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Available
    Posts
    308

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Do You Ever Settle?

    Quote Originally Posted by reone View Post
    I say try OkCupid when you decide to give it another go if you haven't already. Plenty of people on there are looking for that kind of setup, with the potential for more. Plus I would imagine that it gives you a little more information about the person that you'd be potentially talking to than hook-up apps so you'll know if there's a lot in common.. Good luck!

    Beautiful body, also <3.
    yeah I think that'll be my next step. gonna relax for now and just come on JUB Lol. maybe I'll get back on the scene in a couple of weeks.
    Long Island Dude. 22 Years Young & Physically Fit.

  35. #35
    On the Prowl thenewkcm's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Fort Lauderdale
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Bisexual
    Status
    Dating
    Posts
    52

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Do You Ever Settle?

    Besides knowing what you like in guys, do you know what you're looking for?

    If you're looking for a relationship, then going out on dates and spending time with them before sex is the way to go. You have no problem meeting guys, but as soon as things get physical, the chase is over for many. Hold out until you're sure this is the person you want to invest time in!
    YOUTUBE.COM/KISHIKCM

  36. #36
    On the Prowl checkinthingsout's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Atlanta
    Gender
    Male
    Status
    Single
    Posts
    91

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Do You Ever Settle?

    Dude you live in NYC. The metro area is 18 Million and there are gay bars, clubs, restaurants, sports leagues, etc. you might have to leave long island, but you shouldnt have this much trouble finding someone if you are as good of a catch as you say you are.

    Meet people at the Gym. also, "high top sneakers" isnt necessarily a quality you should be looking for in a person even if just for an fb...those can be bought.

    Make 2 lists, 1 for fb and 1 for a bf, and narrow each of those lists down to 5 qualities. Then start holding casting calls at various gyms in the area. But seriously then start looking for those things.

    Also start using video chat. should eliminate the pictures not being accurate thing.

  37. #37
    FEAR THE LIBERAL DETENTE! TX-Beau's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    Austin
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Open Relationship
    Posts
    8,232

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Do You Ever Settle?

    "Friend with benefits with potential for more..."

    Run far from any variant of that if you are looking for a FWB. Because in my experience it starts out fine and then suddenly the "why aren't you calling me" starts, and the expectation creeps in, then he's full on stalking you and looking through your cell phone.

    The FWB, probably the most elusive beast. I'm kinda joking above, but kinda not. Most guys out there contrary to conventional wisdom are not capable of sustained sexual relationships that don't develop emotional ties. That has been my experience. Sooner or later, one side of the FWB starts down that path.

    The most successful FWB situations I've seen are between guys who've known each other for years, or guys who already dated and broke up.

    Why exactly is this what you're looking for? What needs does it serve you can't get otherwise?
    ATTACK OF THE LIBERAL ELITE

  38. #38
    Porn Star jubdown5's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Long Island
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Available
    Posts
    308

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Do You Ever Settle?

    Quote Originally Posted by TX-Beau View Post
    "Friend with benefits with potential for more..."

    Run far from any variant of that if you are looking for a FWB. Because in my experience it starts out fine and then suddenly the "why aren't you calling me" starts, and the expectation creeps in, then he's full on stalking you and looking through your cell phone.

    The FWB, probably the most elusive beast. I'm kinda joking above, but kinda not. Most guys out there contrary to conventional wisdom are not capable of sustained sexual relationships that don't develop emotional ties. That has been my experience. Sooner or later, one side of the FWB starts down that path.

    The most successful FWB situations I've seen are between guys who've known each other for years, or guys who already dated and broke up.

    Why exactly is this what you're looking for? What needs does it serve you can't get otherwise?
    well I want a boyfriend, but not everyone is looking for a relationship sooo a FWB is the next best thing. also, I don't want to mess around with a bunch of people. would rather have 1 or a small few.
    Long Island Dude. 22 Years Young & Physically Fit.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Terms of Service | Privacy Policy | About JustUsBoys.com | Site Map | RSS | Webmasters | Advertise | Link to JUB | Report A Bug on this Page

Visit our sister sites: Broke Straight Boys | CollegeDudes.com | CollegeBoyPhysicals.com | RocketTube
All models appearing on JustUsBoys.com were over 18 at the time of photography. The records for sexually explicit images required by U.S. 2257 are kept by the
individual producers of the images. The location of the records is available by clicking the Custodian of Records link at the bottom of each gallery page.
© 2012 JustUsBoys.com. The JustUsBoys.com name and logo are registered trademarks. Labeled with ICRA and RTA. Member of ASACP and The Free Speech Coalition.