JustUsBoys.com gay porn forum

logo

remove these banner ads by becoming a JUB Supporter.

Results 1 to 14 of 14
  1. #1
    Silver Magic sdrival's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Dating
    Posts
    2,149

    Code of Conduct

    Is there ever a good time to tell him?

    I'm in my late 20s and I had to give up my apartment and move back in with my dad for the time being due to a lack of available hours at work. It turns out not so bad because my dad is getting older and can't get around as easily as he used to so he sort of needs someone to look after him. My problem now is dating and finding guys who don't run away when they find out I'm living at home with dad. There's a bit of a stigma attached to that situation. Do you think it's better to tell a guy before the first date or after? Or is there never a good time to drop that bomb? Should I just hold off on dating until my living situation changes?

  2. #2
    JUB Addict
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Amsterdam
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Widower
    Posts
    9,593

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Is there ever a good time to tell him?

    Date first and answer questions later.

  3. #3
    JUB Addict darden's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Location
    Jersey City
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Partnered
    Posts
    1,242

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Is there ever a good time to tell him?

    I'd probably mention it and explain the situation on a first date.

    I dated a guy once who lived with his dad (or rather, his dad lived with him). didn't bother me too much, we mostly just hung out at my place since I felt weird around his dad.

  4. #4
    Sex God
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Location
    brooklyn
    Gender
    Male
    Status
    Available
    Posts
    539

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Is there ever a good time to tell him?

    i'd tell him after the second date. because if he is bothered by your situation, then he is just superficial.

  5. #5
    JUB Addicts Orlandude's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    Orlando
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Available
    Posts
    4,557

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Is there ever a good time to tell him?

    There is no reason you need to place your social life on hold. That is not healthy for you and I'm certain your father would not want or expect you to do that. Know that there are thousands and thousands of people out there who are "caregivers" for their parents, to a greater or lessor degree. It is an unselfish and loving act and anyone you happen to date who can't understand or deal with that is too shallow, immature and self-centered to earn your respect. It is only a stigma if you allow them to put that on you. Don't. At this point in time, you need to do what you have to do and you can, and should, have a successful social life while it's going on.

  6. #6
    Sex God aaggii's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    Madrid, Spain
    Gender
    Male
    Status
    Partnered
    Posts
    508

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Is there ever a good time to tell him?

    Does your father know you are gay, and if so, is he ok with you bringing guys at home? If so, I would recommend to let your date know from the beginning. This way you don┤t lose time with idiots. Someone with a bit of maturity will understand that your situation is not a real problem.
    ĘBeware the fury of a patient manĘ - John Dryden

  7. #7
    Kein Ayin Hara JUB Admin KaraBulut's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Status
    Partnered
    Posts
    19,671

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Is there ever a good time to tell him?

    More and more people in their twenties are living at home until they get stable employment and save some money. There's not as much stigma to it as there was 20 years ago.

    If you lived in an Italian or Hispanic neighborhood, you might even be considered "normal".

    When it appears that you will be having an overnight date with someone, then it would be time to mention that live with your Dad. As someone else mentioned, the question whether your father would be okay with you having a boyfriend spend the night is also a factor.
    JUB's full list of smilies can be found here.

  8. #8
    FEAR THE LIBERAL DETENTE! TX-Beau's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    Austin
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Open Relationship
    Posts
    8,493

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Is there ever a good time to tell him?

    For me it would depend on context. If I intended to see the guy for awhile, I'd bring it up somehow in conversation early on, if it was just a fuck, I wouldn't care.

    On the other side, if you were dating me, so long as you had a job, it wouldn't bother me. If you were playing Doom in the basement in your greasy bathrobe while your Mom did your laundry - that I'd have a problem with.
    ATTACK OF THE LIBERAL ELITE

  9. #9
    I'm now a grandfather! JUB Moderator Seasoned's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Married
    Posts
    6,067

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Is there ever a good time to tell him?

    ^It's all about context and how you feel about it. If you're ashamed it will come across that way. If you're doing what you have to do and feel good about it then that's how someone else will see it. If you run into someone judgemental you wouldn't want to be with him. Good luck!
    "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."--Dr. Seuss

  10. #10
    JUB Addict Luka's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Freeport
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Partnered
    Posts
    1,074
    Blog Entries
    1

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Is there ever a good time to tell him?

    I am very close to my family, I got out of the military last march and have been living at home ever since while im in college.... I think its a normal thing for kids to be living with their parents through their 20's now. If a guy is bothered by you living with your dad, maybe he isn't the right guy for you. I can see if you got serious and wanted to live together eventually and you wanting to stay at your dads then how it could be a problem but seriously whats the big deal?

  11. #11
    On the Prowl
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Single
    Posts
    138

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Is there ever a good time to tell him?

    I would only tell him about it after he has actually asked. I mean, if he doesn't bring it up, I wouldn't. But at some point, you should probably tell

  12. #12
    Sex God LatinCoffee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Single
    Posts
    737

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Is there ever a good time to tell him?

    Everyone has given you great advice. Only you would know what to do. If I were in your situation...I would tell them before seeing or dating the guy. It just shows that you're honest and have nothing to hide.

  13. #13
    On the Prowl
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Single
    Posts
    138

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Is there ever a good time to tell him?

    Though I'm a little curious as to why saying that living with your parents is something shameful? I mean I wouldn't go right out and tell people unless they asked, but I don't see a point of hiding it.

    I personally don't care if a guy is still staying with their parents, I'll just be like "oh well, we can't hook up at your place then".

  14. #14
    Come again? dereperez's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Bisexual
    Posts
    3,840
    Blog Entries
    5

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Is there ever a good time to tell him?

    I wouldn't necessarily tell him too early (ie: first date). Because then it would seem like it is something you have to get off your chest and that you do see it as embarrassing and/or shameful. Guys worth your while won't give a damn, and may even see you in a more mature and responsible light. Of course if he asks about your living situation, don't hide from it either.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Terms of Service | Privacy Policy | About JustUsBoys.com | Site Map | RSS | Webmasters | Advertise | Link to JUB | Report A Bug on this Page

Visit our sister sites: Broke Straight Boys | CollegeDudes.com | CollegeBoyPhysicals.com | RocketTube
All models appearing on JustUsBoys.com were over 18 at the time of photography. The records for sexually explicit images required by U.S. 2257 are kept by the
individual producers of the images. The location of the records is available by clicking the Custodian of Records link at the bottom of each gallery page.
© 2012 JustUsBoys.com. The JustUsBoys.com name and logo are registered trademarks. Labeled with ICRA and RTA. Member of ASACP and The Free Speech Coalition.