Date first and answer questions later.
Date first and answer questions later.
I'd probably mention it and explain the situation on a first date.
I dated a guy once who lived with his dad (or rather, his dad lived with him). didn't bother me too much, we mostly just hung out at my place since I felt weird around his dad.
i'd tell him after the second date. because if he is bothered by your situation, then he is just superficial.
There is no reason you need to place your social life on hold. That is not healthy for you and I'm certain your father would not want or expect you to do that. Know that there are thousands and thousands of people out there who are "caregivers" for their parents, to a greater or lessor degree. It is an unselfish and loving act and anyone you happen to date who can't understand or deal with that is too shallow, immature and self-centered to earn your respect. It is only a stigma if you allow them to put that on you. Don't. At this point in time, you need to do what you have to do and you can, and should, have a successful social life while it's going on.
Does your father know you are gay, and if so, is he ok with you bringing guys at home? If so, I would recommend to let your date know from the beginning. This way you don┤t lose time with idiots. Someone with a bit of maturity will understand that your situation is not a real problem.
ĘBeware the fury of a patient manĘ - John Dryden
More and more people in their twenties are living at home until they get stable employment and save some money. There's not as much stigma to it as there was 20 years ago.
If you lived in an Italian or Hispanic neighborhood, you might even be considered "normal".
When it appears that you will be having an overnight date with someone, then it would be time to mention that live with your Dad. As someone else mentioned, the question whether your father would be okay with you having a boyfriend spend the night is also a factor.
For me it would depend on context. If I intended to see the guy for awhile, I'd bring it up somehow in conversation early on, if it was just a fuck, I wouldn't care.
On the other side, if you were dating me, so long as you had a job, it wouldn't bother me. If you were playing Doom in the basement in your greasy bathrobe while your Mom did your laundry - that I'd have a problem with.
ATTACK OF THE LIBERAL ELITE
^It's all about context and how you feel about it. If you're ashamed it will come across that way. If you're doing what you have to do and feel good about it then that's how someone else will see it. If you run into someone judgemental you wouldn't want to be with him. Good luck!
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."--Dr. Seuss
I am very close to my family, I got out of the military last march and have been living at home ever since while im in college.... I think its a normal thing for kids to be living with their parents through their 20's now. If a guy is bothered by you living with your dad, maybe he isn't the right guy for you. I can see if you got serious and wanted to live together eventually and you wanting to stay at your dads then how it could be a problem but seriously whats the big deal?
I would only tell him about it after he has actually asked. I mean, if he doesn't bring it up, I wouldn't. But at some point, you should probably tell
Everyone has given you great advice. Only you would know what to do. If I were in your situation...I would tell them before seeing or dating the guy. It just shows that you're honest and have nothing to hide.
Though I'm a little curious as to why saying that living with your parents is something shameful? I mean I wouldn't go right out and tell people unless they asked, but I don't see a point of hiding it.
I personally don't care if a guy is still staying with their parents, I'll just be like "oh well, we can't hook up at your place then".
I wouldn't necessarily tell him too early (ie: first date). Because then it would seem like it is something you have to get off your chest and that you do see it as embarrassing and/or shameful. Guys worth your while won't give a damn, and may even see you in a more mature and responsible light. Of course if he asks about your living situation, don't hide from it either.