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  1. #1

    How to go about having sex for the first time.

    Hey, I've been following this website for the past seven years but never felt the need to join before this week. Since you guys are so good with giving advice, I was hoping you could maybe help me out.

    I'm almost 24 and have never been in anything close to a relationship before. I've kissed a few guys but haven't ever done anything too sexual. I find it really easy to strike up conversations and make friends with people, but that's just with straight guys and girls. Don't get me wrong, I'm surrounded by some fantastic people but none of them are gay guys so I feel like I'm not really part of the gay community. I feel like if I can get past my nerves and sleep with someone however, I could maybe go from there.

    I joined Grindr last week and I've been chatting to a few guys. I'm pretty nervous meeting up with the guys my age cause I'm afraid I'll be terrible (and then word will get around). One older guy wants to meet up with me and since he won't know anyone I personally know, I think I'm gonna go for him. I told him I haven't really done much before and he's said to me that he's totally cool with that and it's not a problem with him. My only worry about is how should I approach this situation? He said he can pick me up from someplace and we can go back to his. Should I just bite the bullet and go for it or is there anything else I could do as a precaution?

    Any advice at all would be appreciated.

  2. #2

    Re: How to go about having sex for the first time.

    I think instead of grindr you should try a dating site like okcupid. Not to say there's not trolls there too, but it's probably a better venue for you to meet and socialize with like minded peers. Throwing away your virginity isn't going to magically make your life easier. You're special. Find someone who appreciates you. Don't just give it up for whomever is willing, just because they're Will to use you.

  3. #3
    Sex God
    Join Date
    Jun 2013

    Code of Conduct

    Re: How to go about having sex for the first time.

    The problem with grindr is that a lot of gay guys have it. And if you are afraid of word leaking out then grindr is more susceptible in spreading the word around especially if you are not yet out. Guys are a lot easier than girls for sure.

    This is one reason why I liked craigslist because you get to specifically control the information and situation. You can basically post on craigslist and define what guys you are into and weed out all those that you don't like.

    I know you are special and you can always find someone online that you like. It's always ideal to find someone you like but experience tells me that while you are young, you will spend a few years in what many call (and undergo) the 'slut phase'. Anyone who tells you otherwise is just lying. Let's put it this way: an average straight guy will have an average of 17 sexual partners his entire life. A typical 20 something gay guy will hook up with that many guys in probably 2 months.

    Just don't get into stupid situations. Yeah, you heard that. You're not stupid, so don't act like one:

    Don't do any bareback sex. Use a condom if you are going to have anal sex. Either as a top or as a bottom.
    Don't do drugs. And don't hook up with guys who do drugs because the chances of guys with stds increases if he is addicted to drugs and engage in riskier sex.
    Don't have sex or look for sex when you are drunk. If you're only slightly buzzed, sure it's ok, but not drunk.
    Always ask. Sex must be consensual to both parties. Don't do anything or go into situations that can put you or another person into harm.
    Other than that. Fuck all you want and enjoy the sex safely. Sex is 1.3 billion years old. It's not your fault. It's biology.

    And let us know how it went.

  4. #4
    cuidado com o mau-olhado JUB Admin KaraBulut's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007

    Code of Conduct

    Re: How to go about having sex for the first time.

    Quote Originally Posted by RocketBoy View Post
    I'm almost 24 and have never been in anything close to a relationship before...

    I joined Grindr last week and I've been chatting to a few guys. I'm pretty nervous meeting up with the guys my age cause I'm afraid I'll be terrible (and then word will get around)...
    Just pointing out something here... You started talking about never being in a relationship but then you started talking about getting laid.

    Before you take any steps, make sure you are clear about what you're looking for- clear to yourself and to the guys you meet.

    If you want a relationship, then you should get serious about meeting other gay and bi guys. That means putting yourself out there, meeting some nice guys that you aren't interested in and meeting some guys that you're interested where it's not going to work out. And after a few tries, you may meet someone who you like and who likes you. Somewhere in this process, you'll have sex and it won't be perfect but it will remove the anxiety of being a virgin from the scenario.

    If you're just wanting to get laid, then find someone that you find attractive, meet up with them to talk in person and if you are interested in them, then do the deed. Don't try to do it all in one night- anal sex is in the advanced course for most people- stick with Getting Naked and Blowing Each Other 101 for the first time. Eventually, when you have the chance to try anal sex, make sure you have lube and condoms and use them regardless of what the other guy says. Plan on getting tested for STDs because it's what responsible sexually active adults do.

    Then once you've lost your "virginity" (whatever that word means for guys) then you still have to figure out how you're going to meet more gay guys, get some gay friends and date and do all the regular stuff that single gay guys do. Because really- underneath all this, that's the real issue.
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  5. #5
    Slut dragon08's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    San Antonio

    Code of Conduct

    Re: How to go about having sex for the first time.

    Don't worry too much about being a virgin. I feel like way to many people place virginity on a pedestal. It isn't a big deal, if you're getting laid good for you, if you aren't that's good too. Sex is just sex.

    Meeting up with a guy your age isn't going to give you a reputation especially if it's through grindr . contrary to popular belief all gay guys don't know each other. Some guys don't even want to admit that they're ON grindr.

    The only way you'll get a reputation like is if you become a super slut and sleep with half the gay guys in a 10 mile radius (if you can accomplish that good for you cuz that's a lot of work) or if you sleep with guys from your school/work.

    If you do meet up with someone. Take your time. Do blowjobs and hand jobs first. Have a long makeout session with the guy for a while. Anal sex can wait for a while. Sex with anyone for the first time is always a bit awkward. You don't know what they like; they don't know what you like. It's all trial and error and (hopefully) gets better as time goes on.

    If you want a relationship, go looking for a relationship. Join gay groups, do online dating, you might even find someone looking for a relationship on grindr. Personally I wouldn't care if you were a virgin if I started dating you and I know quite a few guys who have the same mindset as me.

    Don't think that you have to be "experienced" just to enter a relationship. They should care about all of you not just one piece of you.

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