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  1. #1

    First male experience... I really need advice

    Ok, so this is my first post, hope you don't mind a longer one. I'm 22 and I have alwaysconside myself straight, but when I was in high school I was not really allowed to date and go out with girls. I don't know the reasoning behind this, but that seemed to be what my parents wanted. I also was kind of an outcast and always wanted to be one of the popular guys. So, I think through those reasons I started to develop some fantasies about guys.
    I was also brought up very religiously and still am very religious and spiritual, so at first I was terrified and did everything I could to avoid thinking about that, but I would ultimately buckle and watch porn or just jack off while thinking about fucking another dude. It got so I would do this on and off, and then switch to jacking off to straight porn and back again, until now when I live far away from home and alone.
    I've lived alone for like 7 months. I've looked at craigslist and responded to m4m ads kind of for the thrill of it, but always freaked out and would try and go "straight" cold turkey (I know, I know) but this last time was different.
    I got exchanging emails with a guy and then it came time to exchange pictures. And shockingly enough, he kept responding afterseeing my face and even said some things about me he found hot. This was something I had NEVER ever experienced before. It felt really good to be considered attractive.
    So, we got texting and the texting got really sexually charged, which led to me going to meet him. I felt confident we would at least give each other handjobs or blowjobs. We met, he seemed cool, and then we parked in the car and he told me we would go slow. He reached and touched my dick over my pantsand then I got too freaked out to go on,but I felt I covered it fairly well. He was really understanding, and we went back to our respective homes and continued to text each other, but I just kept feeling sick about the whole incident, even though I still feel like I really want to fuck him. I tried to quit again and then by keep again, and here I am. I want to break this cycle once and for all. I thank you for reading for those that did and apologize for any typos, I wrote this on my phone. So, what should I do? Partly it's a new thing so it's nerve-racking, but also I feel a moral concern too (FYI I have all the respect in the world for gay dudes and girls and only feel this way about myself, I would never force my values on another and I'm not saying you're morally wrong). do I hook up and try all the sex stuff I want or go in theoopposite direction and seek some kind of help?

  2. #2

    Re: First male experience... I really need advice

    Did I misread this or are you wanting to go straight?

  3. #3

    Re: First male experience... I really need advice

    That's basically it. I don't know exactly where I stand, bi, straight, gay, just curious, etc. I have a lot going on in my life right now and don't want to deal with all of this, but I know I have to choose : either experiment all I want and feel guilty or suppress these thoughts and feelings and always feel curious. Sorry for the misunderstanding.

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    Re: First male experience... I really need advice

    hi dudester.. it seems like you are struggling with what your religious upbringing has taught you regarding sexuality vs. your true feelings and attractions. you're not the only one who has gone through such a dilema. I have a close friend who comes from a strict religious family, was taught that gay attraction is not moral and against God. But, he always knew he was more attracted to guys than girls. Once he accepted and truely understood that, he felt comfortable acting on it, especially after meeting someone he really trusted. He said that his first experience was nerve-racking and confusing, too. but as they became friends, they trusted each other because they both had to keep a secret, ya know?
    It sounds like you are really starting to explore your sexuality, trying to find out what works for you and what doesn't.. you'll become more comfortable with yourself in time. it's a process . You're not being immoral or letting down God, don't think that way. God created same-sex attraction, it's so obvious, even though so many people, especially of faith, don't see it that way.

    I realize that i might have it all wrong guessign your situation, but that's my take on what you wrote, if i got it wrong, i apologize. hoping i helped

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    Re: First male experience... I really need advice

    You are what you are.
    My favorite explanation for such things is "I didn't make me the way I am".......
    Give it a shot and get it out of your system or spend the rest of your life beating yourself up.

  6. #6

    Re: First male experience... I really need advice

    Quote Originally Posted by JetPack28 View Post
    hi dudester.. it seems like you are struggling with what your religious upbringing has taught you regarding sexuality vs. your true feelings and attractions. you're not the only one who has gone through such a dilema. I have a close friend who comes from a strict religious family, was taught that gay attraction is not moral and against God. But, he always knew he was more attracted to guys than girls. Once he accepted and truely understood that, he felt comfortable acting on it, especially after meeting someone he really trusted. He said that his first experience was nerve-racking and confusing, too. but as they became friends, they trusted each other because they both had to keep a secret, ya know?
    It sounds like you are really starting to explore your sexuality, trying to find out what works for you and what doesn't.. you'll become more comfortable with yourself in time. it's a process . You're not being immoral or letting down God, don't think that way. God created same-sex attraction, it's so obvious, even though so many people, especially of faith, don't see it that way.

    I realize that i might have it all wrong guessign your situation, but that's my take on what you wrote, if i got it wrong, i apologize. hoping i helped
    I agree.

    The OP needs to realize that with strict religion, he was brought up being told from birth that "THIS" is how life is... and then his biology is fighting back.

    Let's try a silly analogy. Your parents, and family are Poodles. Everything they know is Poodle. You, for whatever reasons were born a cat. From birth, your family told you that you were a poodle, and you believed that you were a Poodle... but eventually, biology takes over and you will start acting like a cat, meowing, scratching, ... no matter how much, or how badly you THINK you're a Poodle, you ARE a cat.

    No matter what you were taught to believe about how [your parents think] you should be/think, at the core what you really are is surfacing - no matter how much you try to deny it.

    You are what you are... it may not be what you thought you were, but that doesn't mean it's evil, bad, or something to be scared of. Embrace it...
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  7. #7
    Are u haleloo ya ? Telstra's Avatar
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    Re: First male experience... I really need advice

    What would you like to do?
    (if you take out the feeling guilty/scared of people knowing part)


    NEVER LISTEN TO A ONE SIDED STORY AND JUDGE.

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    Re: First male experience... I really need advice

    it sounds like you want to be with him, but are worried that YOU shouldnt be with dudes. but why not? if you want to have sex with him, go for it.
    also, being nervous is totally normal. my first time the guy could literally see my heart beat in my chest from how strong it was beating. but after 60sec into it, i was all in the moment.

    oh, and if you end up feeling bad about it, right after you cum (and this goes for porn too), thats not uncommon. ive been with a few guys like that. its due to a decrease in seratonin that occurs during orgasm, its less of a true emotion, and more of a neurological condition. it only lasts a short while, so just bear through it

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    Re: First male experience... I really need advice

    Ok buddy, let me help you out of your misery.

    As I mentioned to another guy in quite the same situation as you, sex is 1.3 billion years old. It's not your fault.

    The human body is primed and hardwired by biology for sex. Biology dictates your need to breed.

    Everything that is created is good. As long as you do it with someone fully aware and with full consent, without endangering anyone, including yourself, then enjoy it. Ask yourself, is private consensual sex with another guy or guys worse than murder? theft? perjury? slander? hate? Notice that I did not qualify that statement with the word legal. Why? Because, legality is an artificial construct made by humans to restrict behavior, in the same way that several sexual acts were illegal and are still illegal in some parts of the world. A country of laws is not necessarily a country of justice. Slavery was legal. Hitler's rise to power was legal. The Prohibition was legal. Ownership of women was legal.... I can go on.

    Love your fellow men, they always say. Well, here's your chance to prove it.

  10. #10

    Re: First male experience... I really need advice

    A sexually repressed sex life (especially due to religious upbringings) can always be scary because you've been taught all your life that the feelings you have are wrong. Seems like you're afraid to take a "dip in the pool". Don't worry about the hang-ups and stress yourself out about it. If you aren't ready don't force it to happen. Do it when you're comfortable and more importantly, make sure it's someone you're completely comfortable with, otherwise the thought of being with another guy will always harbor bad thoughts for you and you'll end up like one of those poor unfortunate homophobic closet cases. It takes time to "unlearn" all those nasty learnings you picked up.

    Quote Originally Posted by dudester View Post
    Ok, so this is my first post, hope you don't mind a longer one. I'm 22 and I have alwaysconside myself straight, but when I was in high school I was not really allowed to date and go out with girls. I don't know the reasoning behind this, but that seemed to be what my parents wanted. I also was kind of an outcast and always wanted to be one of the popular guys. So, I think through those reasons I started to develop some fantasies about guys.
    I was also brought up very religiously and still am very religious and spiritual, so at first I was terrified and did everything I could to avoid thinking about that, but I would ultimately buckle and watch porn or just jack off while thinking about fucking another dude. It got so I would do this on and off, and then switch to jacking off to straight porn and back again, until now when I live far away from home and alone.
    I've lived alone for like 7 months. I've looked at craigslist and responded to m4m ads kind of for the thrill of it, but always freaked out and would try and go "straight" cold turkey (I know, I know) but this last time was different.
    I got exchanging emails with a guy and then it came time to exchange pictures. And shockingly enough, he kept responding afterseeing my face and even said some things about me he found hot. This was something I had NEVER ever experienced before. It felt really good to be considered attractive.
    So, we got texting and the texting got really sexually charged, which led to me going to meet him. I felt confident we would at least give each other handjobs or blowjobs. We met, he seemed cool, and then we parked in the car and he told me we would go slow. He reached and touched my dick over my pantsand then I got too freaked out to go on,but I felt I covered it fairly well. He was really understanding, and we went back to our respective homes and continued to text each other, but I just kept feeling sick about the whole incident, even though I still feel like I really want to fuck him. I tried to quit again and then by keep again, and here I am. I want to break this cycle once and for all. I thank you for reading for those that did and apologize for any typos, I wrote this on my phone. So, what should I do? Partly it's a new thing so it's nerve-racking, but also I feel a moral concern too (FYI I have all the respect in the world for gay dudes and girls and only feel this way about myself, I would never force my values on another and I'm not saying you're morally wrong). do I hook up and try all the sex stuff I want or go in theoopposite direction and seek some kind of help?

  11. #11

    Re: First male experience... I really need advice

    Wow, you guys are so awesome! I can't believe how nice everybody is

    I definitely feel a little better about it. After I met him the first time and I went home I probably slept 3 or 4 hours that night. now I think we're going to try again soon (like today maybe) so I'll. Make sure to let ever know how it goes...

    Also NJ college kid thanks for your advice regarding the serotonin drain after orgasms I have experienced that regularly, especially after some more intense gay porn.

  12. #12
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    Re: First male experience... I really need advice

    Hopefully things work out for you today!
    its a scary thing but its better to ask for forgiveness after the permission before
    just do what feels right for you in the moment and don't worry so much about the future!!
    http://wifeofbihubby.tumblr.com/

  13. #13
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    Re: First male experience... I really need advice

    Quote Originally Posted by dudester View Post
    I was also brought up very religiously and still am very religious and spiritual,

    I still feel like I really want to fuck him. I tried to quit again and then by keep again, and here I am. I want to break this cycle once and for all.

    I would never force my values on another and I'm not saying you're morally wrong
    But you are saying it is morally wrong. To yourself.
    You talk like being gay is an addiction or disease. You need to accept that you are gay/bi/curious. Whatever.

  14. #14
    JUB Addict LeicsDom's Avatar
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    Re: First male experience... I really need advice

    Quote Originally Posted by borg69unimatrix View Post
    The OP needs to realize that with strict religion, he was brought up being told from birth that "THIS" is how life is... and then his biology is fighting back.

    Let's try a silly analogy. Your parents, and family are Poodles. Everything they know is Poodle. You, for whatever reasons were born a cat. From birth, your family told you that you were a poodle, and you believed that you were a Poodle... but eventually, biology takes over and you will start acting like a cat, meowing, scratching, ... no matter how much, or how badly you THINK you're a Poodle, you ARE a cat.

    No matter what you were taught to believe about how [your parents think] you should be/think, at the core what you really are is surfacing - no matter how much you try to deny it.

    You are what you are... it may not be what you thought you were, but that doesn't mean it's evil, bad, or something to be scared of. Embrace it...
    What a great analogy

  15. #15

    Re: First male experience... I really need advice

    Oh my.......straight, bi, trans, curious.....who cares. I just love sex, that's what I tell people.

  16. #16

    Re: First male experience... I really need advice

    Anyone know what's been going on with Chandler? Is he still doing scenes? I've been away from CF for quite a while but it looks as if it's been a while since he performed.

  17. #17

    Re: First male experience... I really need advice

    I know it's been a while and there's not much interest. Quick update.

    We met again today. Over the past weekiI've more or less convinced myself that if I don't try it now I will either never do it and just feel miserable or potentially act on it at the wrong time out of repressed feelings. So I felt I. Owed it to myself to just go for it.

    Like I Probably mentioned, I'm a bundleof nerves all the time, and was definitely nervous today but not as much as last time. I have to say I really lucked out with this guy, he's super laid back, really friendly and patient... We've pretty much texted each other every day since we met. He's not pushy either so I wasn't pressured into going too far.

    We watched some porn on the couch and next thing I knew his hand was on my dick... And off came the pants. After warming up to it abit I got really hard and we jerked each other for a while before he leant over to blow me.

    HOLY SHIT. BLOWJOB, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE?!

    That was a spectacular surprise and after a minute we swapped and I sucked his dick. Totally different than I'd expected. I kind of liked it, he was really hard so it was not the "texture" (lol) I was expecting. I guess I could take it or leave it but I think I got off on how much he liked it by hearing him moan. We alternated back and forth between hand and blow jobs before going to the bedroom.

    We continued in that fashion in bed until he felt ready to cum. Then he got on top of me, pretty much chest to chest while I jacked him off and he came all over my stomach. I really liked him being on me and laying on me and I never thought I would say this but I thought it was really hot when he came all over me. He was definitely enjoying himself. He asked me to finger him so I could top and I did for a while but he said he wasn't ready to bottom at that time. He jacked me off and I came WAY More than I had ever cum before, like definitely twice as much. We didn't even have sex & it was the best nut I've ever busted! Lol.

    I was kind of hoping I would get it out of my system but I want more... I'm not really worried about identifying or labeling myself as anything right now, I'm just going with the flow of it I guess.

    Thanks again for the input and advice! I really like JUB.

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    Re: First male experience... I really need advice

    Have you two kissed and made out? Kissing is one of my favorite things to do with a guy because the connection is so much deeper when two guys kiss.

    Then do a 69 since you like getting a blowjob anyway and he certainly would love to get one too.

    Just let yourself go and enjoy the moment when you're with him.

    Tell us how it went.

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    Re: First male experience... I really need advice

    Quote Originally Posted by dudester View Post
    I was kind of hoping I would get it out of my system but I want more... I'm not really worried about identifying or labeling myself as anything right now, I'm just going with the flow of it I guess.

    Thanks again for the input and advice! I really like JUB.
    And you thought you needed advice.......
    I'm happy things went so well for you.......

  20. #20
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    Re: First male experience... I really need advice

    Quote Originally Posted by dudester View Post

    I was kind of hoping I would get it out of my system but I want more... I'm not really worried about identifying or labeling myself as anything right now, I'm just going with the flow of it I guess.

    Thanks again for the input and advice! I really like JUB.
    Dudester, i'm happy for you! Congrats on finding a great connection!

  21. #21
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    Re: First male experience... I really need advice

    I come from a very religious up bringing too. And actually brought my family into cchurch. I am a worship leader and youth leader as well. So imagine the struggle i had. I used to cry for weeks after trying sex with a dude. But i kept going back when the urge really took over. Im still in the closet except to friends. It took me a long time for me to realize the love God has for me. A verse that really helped me is Colossians 1:16 For by him were all things created, that are in heaven, and that are in earth, visible and invisible, whether they be thrones, or dominions, or principalities, or powers: all things were created by him, and for him:
    God created everything, that means he created me this way, he created homosexuality. Another thing is, what did Jesus say about it? Absolutely nothing!
    Anyway im really glad you found a great person to experiment with. Its so much better connecting than a one night stand.

  22. #22

    Re: First male experience... I really need advice

    rjason2425 Thank you for that post...was very insightful. Glad u could work through the struggle you faced.

    Wanted to update quickly though so much time has gone by, I never heard from this guy again. He responded to 1 text after I dropped him off post-meet up and has never communicated with me again or responded to any texts I sent him. :/ Definitely discouraging. And kind of confusing. Whatever he wanted to get out of our meetup he must have wanted really really bad and didn't care to look back afterwards! I think its a little strange myself, but what do I know?

  23. #23

    Re: First male experience... I really need advice

    Dudester. The gay hook up scene can be tough. Your friend probably wanted to have fun with someone who knew what he wanted. I have hooked up with guys that were struggling with their sexuality, it is really draining - both for him and his partner. I learned the gay scene in some woods with guys having anonymous sex. It was fun. You might want to try that first.

  24. #24
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    Re: First male experience... I really need advice

    With regard to the religious aspect you should remember that Jesus said "zero, zip, nada" about homosexuality. Any talk in the Bible about homosexuality has been grafted on or the subject of mistranslation.

  25. #25

    Re: First male experience... I really need advice

    Quote Originally Posted by palbert View Post
    With regard to the religious aspect you should remember that Jesus said "zero, zip, nada" about homosexuality. Any talk in the Bible about homosexuality has been grafted on or the subject of mistranslation.
    everybody has their believes, im catholic so of course im less liberal than the average (well thats what people may think), but i have no problem with homosexuals, but i do believe in a decent life, not only sexualy speaking, i believe people should practice monogamy and have sex when they are mature enough to know the consequences, and keep ur life in private, nobody cares or shouldnt care what are u doing inside ur house. I hate scandals not only from homosexuals, i hate when people in general are loud and try to be the center of the universe.

  26. #26

    Re: First male experience... I really need advice

    Quote Originally Posted by troncosoxl View Post
    everybody has their believes, im catholic so of course im less liberal than the average (well thats what people may think), but i have no problem with homosexuals, .
    I am glad you have no problems with homosexuals considering you are spending your time reading and writing on a homosexual website!

  27. #27
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    Re: First male experience... I really need advice

    Quote Originally Posted by dudester View Post
    I know it's been a while and there's not much interest. Quick update.

    We met again today. Over the past weekiI've more or less convinced myself that if I don't try it now I will either never do it and just feel miserable or potentially act on it at the wrong time out of repressed feelings. So I felt I. Owed it to myself to just go for it.

    Like I Probably mentioned, I'm a bundleof nerves all the time, and was definitely nervous today but not as much as last time. I have to say I really lucked out with this guy, he's super laid back, really friendly and patient... We've pretty much texted each other every day since we met. He's not pushy either so I wasn't pressured into going too far.

    We watched some porn on the couch and next thing I knew his hand was on my dick... And off came the pants. After warming up to it abit I got really hard and we jerked each other for a while before he leant over to blow me.

    HOLY SHIT. BLOWJOB, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE?!

    That was a spectacular surprise and after a minute we swapped and I sucked his dick. Totally different than I'd expected. I kind of liked it, he was really hard so it was not the "texture" (lol) I was expecting. I guess I could take it or leave it but I think I got off on how much he liked it by hearing him moan. We alternated back and forth between hand and blow jobs before going to the bedroom.

    We continued in that fashion in bed until he felt ready to cum. Then he got on top of me, pretty much chest to chest while I jacked him off and he came all over my stomach. I really liked him being on me and laying on me and I never thought I would say this but I thought it was really hot when he came all over me. He was definitely enjoying himself. He asked me to finger him so I could top and I did for a while but he said he wasn't ready to bottom at that time. He jacked me off and I came WAY More than I had ever cum before, like definitely twice as much. We didn't even have sex & it was the best nut I've ever busted! Lol.

    I was kind of hoping I would get it out of my system but I want more... I'm not really worried about identifying or labeling myself as anything right now, I'm just going with the flow of it I guess.

    Thanks again for the input and advice! I really like JUB.

    Thanks for the update. Glad you had a good time exploring things at your own pace. You are very lucky to have found someone so randomly who is a good guy and isn't pressuring you to do more than you are comfortable doing.

    But I'm amused by your comment, "We didn't even have sex and it was the best nut I've ever busted!" Dude, you had great oral sex, gave each other blowjobs and blew your loads! There is more to sex than fucking. Lots of flavors on the sex buffet. And plenty of guys--singles and couples--who will tell you they have a totally satisfying sex life and it doesn't happen to include anal penetration. Maybe once you realize that you've already HAD sex, you won't be quite so nervous about "taking the big step."

    At the very least, you are bi curious and you've satisfied your curiosity in a very pleasurable way. Enjoy the moment. And enjoy trying other things when you are both ready. Again, you are so lucky to have met someone you can communicate with about what feels right for each of you.

  28. #28

    Re: First male experience... I really need advice

    get on craigslist, suck a dick, and see if you like it. then fuck some pussy. see what you like more

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