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Thread: online dating

  1. #1
    Slut dragon08's Avatar
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    online dating

    Ok so recently I decided to get grindr, merely because of all that I've heard about it and the fact that I'm single. I'm not too much into the one night stand thing.

    I go top a small school with a very small gay dating pool. So I wanted to get the app to maybe meet guys elsewhere but as I'm sure you guys all know it's all about hookups.

    In the last month since getting the app I've gone on two dates with guys directly because of grindr. I mean it's better than nothing but the app isn't really for finding decent dates or relationships.

    I'm a young guy (19) and I want to date someone around my age preferably in college. I know that when I'm older 5 years will be nothing but at the moment it's the difference between going to school and working a 9 to 5.

    And I know about okcupid and other dating sites but I mean I'm not even 20 yet and I don't imagine many gay college guys using those.

    It's there some form of alternative I can use to meet guys? I want to go on dates and kinda see where they go not just fuck and move on.

  2. #2
    On the Prowl deelong's Avatar
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    Re: online dating

    Yeah grindr is mostly for hookups. Usually all the apps are for hookups. You might luck out and find a date or two. I'm twenty I want the same thing you want. But most guys my age are either too much, or on the DL.

    I've tried sites like okcupid. And there weren't a lot of men on there, and the men who were on there were way older than me. It might be different for you.

    Maybe your college has a gay group or something. Maybe there's a gay club or something like that near your location. Check the web and see what's out there.

    It's difficult for me to go out on a date with guys too. And I don't think I'm that bad looking lol.
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  3. #3
    I'm now a grandfather! JUB Moderator Seasoned's Avatar
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    Re: online dating

    This problem isn't new. It's frustrating when you'd like one thing and most guys are either looking for something else or aren't interested at all. It takes work, patience and luck. Look everywhere you can and don't forget the obvious, guys that you meet at school, shopping, at the gym, etc. who may be gay or bi.
    "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."--Dr. Seuss

  4. #4
    Kein Ayin Hara JUB Admin KaraBulut's Avatar
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    Re: online dating

    Well, there's two approaches to dating- one is fast/easy and the other takes a little longer/requires planning.

    It's a lot like going to buy groceries. There are times when you want do some shopping and you have time to put together a list of what you're looking for, you spend some time shopping and sometimes you end up buying somethings that weren't necessarily on your list. Other times, you have something specific you want/need, you go to a quick-stop/corner-store and you buy that one thing (and it's usually more expensive).

    Grindr and a lot of dating websites are like the quick-stop. The people there want a specific thing, they go there to look for it and they aren't looking to spend a lot of time in the process of getting what they want.

    If you're really serious about meeting someone and dating, you're less likely to find them solely from your phone or computer. It's going to require meeting people, meeting their friends and networking.

    San Antonio is a bit of a different place with a combination of the locals, the drag culture and a lot of conventioners coming through. But there's no shortage of events to get out and meet people. And there's events like Guerrilla Queer Bar and sports groups where you can meet people and it's less cliquish. And if your school has a GLBT organization, that's a good place to start.

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  5. #5
    Slut dragon08's Avatar
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    Re: online dating

    Well I would actually prefer to meet someone randomly or through a friend or class or something, the problem is that it is so hard.

    I actually help run the LGBT organization at my school so I know a good number of the gay guys on campus, I'm "Technically" not allowed to date members of the group but that probably wouldn't have stopped me if there was someone I was interested in who was attending the club meetings. Either way even if they go to the meetings or not I think I know most of the gay guys on campus.

    The campus is pretty small so it isn't exactly a hard thing to do.

    Yeah I need to get better connected throughout the city, I'm not from here so I only know people who I've met through school.

    That's what kinda led me to get grindr in the first place, I'm not well connected so I've turned to the app.

  6. #6
    Kein Ayin Hara JUB Admin KaraBulut's Avatar
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    Re: online dating

    Quote Originally Posted by dragon08 View Post
    Either way even if they go to the meetings or not I think I know most of the gay guys on campus.
    And do these guys at your school have friends who aren't students at your school?

    You're absolutely right that it's better to meet someone and then ask them out after you've had a chance to get to know a little about them. The key is to meet more people and then meet the people they know and keep expanding the group. In a city, it's harder to meet people sometimes because random meetings may only happen once but when you're networking through friends, you're more likely to meet more people, meet them more than once and you have the option of asking friends about them (i.e. "are the single?", "is he a nice guy?", etc).
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    Re: online dating

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  8. #8
    Slut dragon08's Avatar
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    Re: online dating

    That video was actually pretty interesting. Haha it was a bit insightful. I did enjoy how they addressed the posts that are super sexual and also showed that not everyone is there to merely hook up

  9. #9
    JUB Addict Luka's Avatar
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    Re: online dating

    I'd say ok cupid is your best bet for more of a dating site, the rest are mostly just for hookups. Although I met my bf on manhunt and he only had a dick pic up haha I think you find a bf when you aren't even looking for one! haha anyways best of luck buddy!

  10. #10
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    Re: online dating

    Quote Originally Posted by Luka View Post
    I'd say ok cupid is your best bet for more of a dating site, the rest are mostly just for hookups. Although I met my bf on manhunt and he only had a dick pic up haha I think you find a bf when you aren't even looking for one! haha anyways best of luck buddy!
    Agree. But OKCupid can be difficult if you live in a small town. Hell, I'm living in one of the biggest metropolises in the world, but not in an English speaking country, and the number of guys on OKCupid is so tiny compared to Grindr. But I've met really genuine people there and apparently if the date doesn't work out, we stay friends.

    Best of luck.

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