"HOLY COW. Your penis is gigantic. GIGANTIC. Your penis is literally the biggest thing within the tri-city area. Your penis is bigger than a small elephant. It is bigger than, like, a tree. A big ol’ tree. Lots of branches on your penis. You must wake up every morning and thank the good lord above. You are truly blessed. Congrats."
The tri-city area? Leeds-York-Ripon?